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February 23, 2007

DUCT TAPE

Is there anything it can't do?

(Thanks to tweetywill)

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With apologies to Homer Simpson.

Well they are already in diapers so why not.

D'oh

Is there a written procedure for sending Twitney to space?

What, people think this is somehow different from a normal evening?

NASA's plan for unstable astronauts: Duct tape, tranquilizers

Around here, we call that the Effective Parenting Kit.

For some reason, I now have a hankering for a glass of Tang™.


AFKAT, have I thanked you for that HTML page?

As usual, I have a better suggestion. Just turn to the unruly asstronut and say:
"You'd better start behaving, or I'll turn this ship around right now and go back to Florida!"

"Is there anything it can't do?"

Well, duct tape is totally useless for repairing ducts. Apart from that, no.

Space station medical kits contain tranquilizers and anti-depression, anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic medications.

No beer?!

Uses for Duct Tape

Most disturbing:

Use for bedroom bondage play. (do not use as "protection".

Uses for Duct Tape

Most disturbing:

Use for bedroom bondage play. (do not use as "protection".

oops. The bot strikes again.

can duct tape fix the bot? Please?

Thx, FKAMatt. I like the duct tape slip covers. Very creative, and easier to clean the college party puke off than fabric.

It's also a great way to get that emergency bikini wax.

Not that I have any first hand knowledge of that.

*waddles away slowly, wincing with each step*

Oooo...Punkin, that makes my urethra cringe.

Punkin, ask CH...he knows *EG™*

Dave, you forgot to say 'FIRST!'

*knowing snork* @ Ian.

"psychotic astronaut in space" WBAGNFARB

When we first contact alien life, and they say "Okay, we can pretty much get rid of this planet, they have no appreciable technology", the UN will look straight into the face of the space people and say "Oh yeah? Duct tape, BITCH!"

Within a year Earth will be the capital of the galaxy.

They learned that from Armageddon. See Steve Buscemi.

132 - OH OW! If your urethra hurts after a duct tape bikini wax, something has gone very very badly wrong. What you *should* is... wait never mind. Family blog. Sorta. No?

Do any of you watch The Red Green Show? It is on PBS late night on Sundays in my area. He can make anything out of duct tape.Scotch even has him as their duct tape spokesman on the web.

http://www.3m.com/intl/CA/english/centres/home_leisure/duct_tape/

Nice catch, El. My thought was, "Wow, that Steve Buscemi sequence in 'Armageddon' is actually something close to reality, unlike the many others which caused my suspension of disbelief to bust a leaf spring, such as the Russian cosmonaut laughing his way through an eleven-G slingshot around the moon after 18 months of weightlessness."

If they had written that a little closer to what the reality would have been, Bounty paper towels could have scored a major product placement. As a means of disposal for one large Russian grease spot.

Jessica R.: Keep your stick on the ice! ;-)

Um... what about Steve Buscemi?

"Psychotic astronauts in space" was a good movie. That "Pee-Wee Herman" has really made a comeback. Speaking of "Taptus la ductus," (for our non-English speaking readers) using one roll of duct tape and two tea bags was the only way I could watch Sharon Stone in the movie "Basic Instinct 2." She just won 4 "razzies" for that movie. They did NOT use duct tape in the movie "Basic Instinct 2." The used Duck Tape. Not the same thing..!!

Duct tape could save our lives..!!

The UN already has a solution to the pending asteroid that could slam into the earth on April 13, 2037. They are sending an American psychotic astronaut to land on the asteroid and duct tape two "turn signals" on the massive rock.

This will NOT stop the asteroid from slamming into the earth. But just picture that rock flying around the solar system, for 30 years, with it's left blinker flashing.

You gotta love duct tape..!! (well, really, you don't have to.)

*sweep* *sweep*

How about just sending the astronaut home from the space shuttle? Don't they have ejection pods? Or something?

(I may be thinking about Startrek)

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