BUMPER-STICKER SLOGAN DECISION
I have painstakingly reviewed all 16 million entries in the bumper-sticker-slogan contest, in consultation with a distinguished panel of experts consisting of Mrs. Blog, judi, and Mr. Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post. After literally weeks of thoughtful consideration, the panel and I have decided to go with the following slogan, which was one of the first ones sent in:
DAVE BARRY FOR PRESIDENT
Yes, of the United States
This slogan was submitted by "Dad-O-Lot," who will receive, as
punishment a token of our gratitude, a bottle of this high-quality prank product, if we can figure out a way to send it without violating the Homeland Security Act.
There were many strong runner-up slogans, including:
-- "Or Are You Too Chicken?" from Steve Jens, who also submitted "Basically, He Wants Attention";
-- "The Rest of the World Is Laughing at Us Anyway," by Meanie the Blue, who also submitted "It's Not Like You Care";
-- "My Kid Is an Honor Student," by Chris Knight;
-- "If He Shoots a Lawyer in the Face, It Will Be on Purpose," by Beppie;
-- "Puttin' the 'Mock' Back in 'Democracy'," by JP;
-- "He's Actually a Black Woman," by gfunksizzle;
-- "Because Nothing Isn't Going to Do Itself," by tuxmask3.
...and many, many more excellent ones, including the one that you, personally, submitted, which I liked the best but which was vetoed by judi so blame her.
Anyway, our next step is to have the winning slogan printed on a bumper sticker, which ideally we will have done before election day. After that the campaign will really kick into "high gear" under the direction of the Campaign Field Coordinator, Mr. Ted Habte-Gabr, who will be out in the field doing his
horizontal level best to gauge the mood of the voters.
Thanks to all of you who participated in the contest. Now let us join together in making this country a better place for
me future generations.