ANIMAL DOCTOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Siouxie)

Comments

[abilicious]

Stapling the dog in the thigh? Was the vet, by chance, Jack Bauer?

[casey]

Ruh-Roh.

[fivver]

I think this vet needs to be sentenced to collecting 'organic' *snork* bull semen, by hand.
(see second story)

[Mot the Hoople]

Seems he was on a staple diet of animal drugs.

[mm]

(end or story) I'll keep my split ends, thanks

[Mot the Hoople]

Way to go Sooz! the cream always rises to the top.

[Nurse Tammy]

I'll take the split ends. Eeeew.

[Siouxie]

YAY! me!

This just renews my faith in all surgery. Lord knows what those docs are sniffin' or drinkin' before they attempt to cut you.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

So sperm is good for split ends?
I'll donate to the cause. Any boggettes want to help with the extraction procedures?

[Hammond Rye]

Yay, Siouxie!

At hair salon:
"My hair is a mess. Do you have that new treatment for split ends?"
"Yes, we do."
"Is 'it' fresh?"
*Sound of agitated mooing in the background, followed by a contented sigh*
"Why, yes it is. I believe we have a new batch coming in now."

[Mot the Hoople]

According to Nip Tuck sperm can halt the ageing process. I know that's a difficult concept to swallow, but there you go.

[Siouxie]

Got a horny bull, Chris?

[Siouxie]

and a simultaneous *snork/ewww* @ Hammie!

[Just Ducky]

YAY Siouxie!

However, and ISIANMTU, I read this just after I returned home from taking my border collie to the vet to have an operation to remove a grown on his chest. NOT comforting!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Hammond - that would make an excelent Python (Monty) -esque sketch. When can we expect your video on YouTube?

[Baron vonKlyff]

*snork* @ Mot

$55 worth of bull spooge in your hair.... No thanks. That's taking 'beauty' products a little over the edge.

What's next? A squirrel poop facial?

[OkieDokie]

did anyone tell the vet that the ANIMAL is to be tranquilized, not the Doctor?

[Siouxie]

Baron, probably rabbit pellet facial scrub.

[Baron vonKlyff]

That's pretty nasty, Siouxie, but I am awaiting the invention of the cat urine skin cleanser.

[Nurse Tammy]

Baron, the cat urine is used for the perms, I think. At least, that's what it smells like.

[Kibby F5™]

*staples dog tail to wall*

WHAT!? isn't that what the vet was supposed to do!? Saves space too!

*wonders why training is needed to massage bull sperm into hair*

[Baron vonKlyff]

Kibby F5™.... I would think that the jizz harvesters would need the training in jerking the bulls massaging the product out of the bulls.

[Kibby F5™]

Didn't I hear that was something done on one of those "Reality" shows?

[Meanie the Blue]

I always wondered what beef jerky was.

[Indiana Jones]

Kioudeaux, Siouxie.

{{ JDucky }}

Maybe someone, somewhere, was pushing the Staples EASY button too many times.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Hammond - that would make an excelent Python (Monty) -esque sketch. When can we expect your video on YouTube?

Sorry, you can't Paramount copyrighted any use of bull semen in movies.

[MOTW]

*removing mask from yesterday's post*

[Baron vonKlyff]

I wonder why the dog's leg tail needed stapling. You would think that if the pup was injured, the bleeding wound would have been a good indicator.

[Siouxie]

whewwwwwww back! I lost my internet connection for a while...good thing I'm the IT person around here.

[Baron©® vonKlyff]

Yay... Siouxie. I thought you had gone out to jerk the beef.

[Siouxie]

Nope Baron...um...my hair doesn't need conditioner just yet ;-P

[judi]

don't know if anyone here watches 'ugly betty' but last week, the beautiful witchy woman (former Miss America Vanessa whatever) had duck semen (i think) injected around her eyes....

[Meanie the Blue]

...wabbit semen!

;)

[Siouxie]

I saw that judi!!! LOVE that show. and yes it was duck semen.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Semen injections should only occur one way and in one (of three) (bodily) locations.

[Baron©® vonKlyff]

I have heard of Beef Jerky, and Jamaican Jerked Chicken, but I have never heard of anyone masturbating jerking a duck. Just sayin'.

[Nurse Tammy]

*snork™* @Meanie for "wabbit semen"

[Clean Hands]

Why do I read these things right when I'm trying to enjoy my breakfast?

[Siouxie]

unless there's more than one man involved...could be more than one of three.

not that i condone this sort of behavior....

[Baron©® vonKlyff]

I have heard of milking the bull, and flogging the chicken, but what is the appropriate euphemism for wanking the duck????

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I was typing in the personal, human (not iguana) manly male sense.

I can only make one injection at a time.

[Siouxie]

I know Chris, but I was typing in the personal, womanly sense. We can receive more than one injection at a time providing there are more than one manly males.

Baron, goosing the duck?? *shrugs*

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I guess they don't have to worry about animal testing on that product.

[Siouxie]

LOL Lisa...hands on testing.

[Baron© vonKlyff®]

So.... Siouxie... Are you volunteering for the airtight experience?

[Siouxie]

Baron, of course not! That is sick I tell ya!! SICK!

*kneels down to pray*

[Baron© vonKlyff®]

Yes, I went there.... and immediately regretted it.

*sits back. slaps self. lights a blog cigarette.*

[Siouxie]

*simul slap* Baron!

[Barøn© vønKlyff®]

Thanks... I deserved wanted needed that.

[Hammond Rye]

snorksnorksnork @ "wabbit semen". Chuck Jones would be proud.

[Nurse Tammy]

I may not be old enough to be witnessing this exchange, Siouxie, Baron. *eyebrows stuck in upright and locked position*

[SippiFoxHunter]

(catches breath, wipes tears from eyes)
You guys are nuts......;>

[Mr. Completely]

"wanking the duck"

*snorksnorksnorksnorkohjeezthatsfunnysnork*

[Kristina L.]

They said the bull semen was "organic". Have you ever heard of non-organic bull semen? It seems like it would all be organic.

[AlanBoss]

Re: the bull semen (I don't even remember what the original story was about, at this point.)

Semen as a conditioner is nothing new. It goes back to pre-comercial hair conditioner times. (Stop that snorking, all of you. I'm serious!) When I attended cosmetology school, they taught us that it is no accident that conditioners look like what they look like.

Oh, and major snork@"wabbit semen."

(I remember now! Dog staples. Right! I got nothin'.)