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February 23, 2007

ADVISORY FOR VISITORS TO NEW YORK CITY, LAND OF THE WILD BEAVER

Our advice is, do not attempt social dancing, and watch where you eat.

(Thanks to Ken Morgan and qsman)

Comments

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Nice beaver!

First of all, the rats are not visitors, they're inventory.

Second, are we sure the GUMW (Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet) isn't under New York?!

Is anti-social dancing legal? And I guess pole dancing is permissible, since it is usually done solo.

*Snork @ "inventory"*

I'm guessing that the rats have taken over the NY court of appeals, too??? WTH?

What if I bring my own pole???

I think the GUMW is under the president of KFC's office. Asked for a papal blessing of the Fish Snacker sandwich?

writer - I think NY is home to the Giant Underground Icky Critter Magnet.

^5 Med!!

Great minds...dance alike!!

Uh, Sioux, that would depend if your pole was attached to someone.

Owner of a lonely heart smut mind, and beaver dam proud of it! Hanging it out for all the world......er......

Give it up for "The Scurrying Rats"!

okay ignoring the rats for the moment: they banned 'social dancing'? WTFBBQ? i kept looking for a "the onion" logo on that page somewhere. again, i repeat WTFBBQ? can anyone explain to me how this even remotely makes sense?

Med, I'll take a detachable pole ;-)

mud, my thoughts exactly. that makes absolutely NO sense to me.

Well, mud, you know, it's.. well... it's... For The Children.

Methinks those rats are just on the CHUD value menu...

i went back and re-read it and it says the ban applies to "bars, restaurants and certain clubs". which means (i guess) that it is permitted in some other clubs. so i suppose it has something to do with the size of the space, number of exits and whatnot. you know, trying to cut down on the number of charred corpses to clean up on monday morning.

1) The GUWM isn't under NYC, it's under the blog. And that explains a lot.

2) Rats looks just like squirrels with shaved tails. Cute as the dickens, ain't they?

3) There is no three.

Ohhhhhhh..... It's for the children. It's alright then. Anything 'For The Children' is important and therefore must be alright.

I'll bring my own pole while searching for that eluvisve beaver.

However, I will be staying out of Kentucky Fried Rats Chicken.

Ahem, correcting myself way up there ^ ...

It's the GUWM. Not GUMW. Carry on.

Mud: WTFBBQ indeed. Actually, since we're talking about New York and club dancing, let's go with WTFLGBTQ.

Siouxie asked that I post the video link on this thread.

And I always do what she suggests...

Caution to those faint of heart

"You're a week late on you protection money, Louie. You know what I gotta do now?"

"You ain't gonna kneecap me, are you? I've got a wife and kids!"

"You're gonna wish I did. I'm gonna send Vinnie and Tessio over every day and they're gonna dance socially right out in the open where everyone can see!"

"No! Think of the children!"

"Too late, Louie. Tessio, show him your Tango!"

1) You may not dance socially, except where licensed, period. Now please stop bothering us, and resume your gunplay and drug transactions.

2) Yum brands will be fined for exposing innocent rats to unsanitary and toxic conditions.

3) 3's of the world: stand up and be counted!!

4) I wouldn't count on an enthusiastic endorsement from the guy in the big pointy hat.

NOT THE ELECTRIC SLIDE, VINNIE!!!

AFKAT, nice going!! that's just sooooooo gross too. There must be what? 10 or 15 of those rats just running around??

Somebody arrest those rats. They were dancing socially.

Siouxie, at least they weren't dancing.

That video link won't load for me - I think I'm glad!

JD! You owe FKA Matt a butt whuppin'!

thats how the food in Taco Bell becomes so mushy...its pre-chewed

Hammie, what'd I miss?

Kevin Bacon needs to go to NY and lead the revolution.

JD, got to the FLORIDA WEIRDNESS MAGNET UPDATE post @ about 12:23. We defended your honor, but you might want to get a few whacks in.

WTFLGBTQ - OK - I have absolutely no clue as to the meaning of this...can you enlighten?

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance
Dance!

We can go when we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with the victory cry
Say, we can act if want to
If we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile

I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance

Safety dance
Is it safe to dance
Is it safe to dance

Ahh, Men Without Hats. Life was simpler then.

*flashes back to one of the [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z02N1sgkkYU]strangest videos[/url] ever*

well, you'd have to dance to avoid the rats... and we always called KFC Kentucky Fried Critters.... now we know what kinda critters they are. i guess the restaurant 'inspectors' missed one, nudge nudge, wink wink. what are there, 10,000 restaurants in nyc, and 2 inspectors?

I'll take a stab (har!) at it. It's a combination of WTFBBQ (WTF is obvious - I hope; the BBQ has never been satisfactorily explained to me), and LGBT (or Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender).

Sigh. How do you link on this blog?

Ok - duh on the LGBT - I should have gotten that myself. Now someone take the BBQ...

Bar-Be-Que. Duh. ;-)

And Diva, links here are standard HTML: <a href="http://www.site.com/page.htm">link text</a>

Like this.

*suspects that he will regret doing this...*

DDiva:

<a href="paste your link in here with the quotes">onscreen text goes here without quotes</a>

Keep a space between a and href, no other spaces except in onscreen text.

Do it correctly and your computer will not vaporize.

Oh, that's wasn't so bad. I was afraid that you had tried to post this, which is so bad. (WARNING: If you value your sanity, do NOT click on this link...)

The Q in LGBTQ stands for Questioning. As in...I dunno...Twatney?

*gets up and dances to "We can dance if we want to" cuz I want to*

As far as I know, it hasn't been banned here in Miami, right???

Or, DDiva, you can simply click here and it will be done automatiocally for you

*saying in advance"* Bloody bot, why do you hate me so?

Wasn't NY going to ban transfats? Maybe using rat meat is the way to do it.

Completely (not Mr.) OT - from several minutes ago on the NY Times website:

Powerful Storm Moves Eastward

Severe thunderstorms and the punishing weather conditions they create are expected later today over wide areas of Kansas, Oklahoma and Texas, the National Weather Service reported, while blizzards sweep into Colorado and Nebraska.

“Damaging winds, very large hail and tornados are possible,” the agency said, as a powerful storm is expected to move eastward from California, across the Rocky Mountains to the high plains.

The storm is expected to mix with moisture moving up from the Gulf of Mexico to produce turbulence over south-central Kansas, western Oklahoma and northwest Texas during the evening hours.

The same system is expected to dump 5 to 10 inches of snow on eastern Colorado and northwest New Mexico today, where winter storm and blizzard watches have been posted.

“This is a potentially dangerous storm,” the service said, adding that highways and roads in the region will probably be closed and travel obstructed. Winds are expected to blow at 30 to 45 miles an hour, with gusts up to 60 miles an hour.

The falling and blowing snow is expected to reduce visibility to below one-quarter of a mile in the affected areas, the weather service said.

/OT This concludes your friendly blogmate warning.

CH, I clicked, I watched about 30 seconds, I got the willies (NTTAWWT), and hit the "back" button. I think my sanity needs some bleaching though.

so that's why we haven't heard from wxgurl lately. I knew she was up late last night watching something. Hope she's wearing her seatbelt.

*SNORK* @ Awbh.

You just know that the health department won't go after this facility for filth... it'll be because the rats' transfats are elevated after eating there.

Say, where's FKA Matt? *Hides shotgun behind her back*

I do html, but tried it here once before and it didn't work for me. Here's a gratuitous link to try it again.

CH - you just had to drop that over from the blogits site, didn't you?

*sighs and hands the brain bleach back to ch for another lather, rinse repeat*

Well, what do you know!

Wait'll PETA finds out what they're feeding the rats. SOMEBODY's gonna be in big trouble.

Oh, you missed the fireworks, then, random. Pity.

As I sit here, having just finished reading it all, a KFC commercial came on the tube.mm-mmmmmm!!!!!
Guess the Colonel's secret recipe is finally unveiled.

Hey, I just got back from lunch at KFC-Taco Bell. They've got this new Ratatouille sandwich. It's pretty good. Anything happen while I was out?

JD, just for the record, I live no where near Universal City.

AWBH: Maybe they meant trans-rats? Either that or the new KFC-Taco Bell slogan will be "Rat, the other, other white meat."

AFKAT, thanks for that great site! How handy!!

and *snork* to lairbo

FKAMatt, I refer you to the Florida Weirdness Update Magnet thread.

Thx, Meanie. My mom left to go home to OK this morning, and (to her face) I told her she would blow all the way home on her broomstick like a streak of white lightening.

The great thing is, she laughed.

Sort of on topic, do any blogits know of reasonably priced restaurants around Times Square?

*mmmmmm, Rat Snacker*

Meanie, I blame Global Warming.

Mot, there's this KFC....

What if you walked into the KFC and socially danced ON TOP OF a rat eating on the floor?? Would that break like 5 cardinal rules and cause the Earth to turn inside out?

MTH: There are more reasonably priced eateries in the theater district than you'd think. Providing you define "reasonable" to be roughly the GNP of most South American dictatorships. I kid.

Try timeoutny.com for clues. For pizza (really good pizza, at that) and casual Italian fare, go to John's Pizza on 44th. It's in a former church and the interior still reflects that fact (no pews, though). There's a silly but fun pan-Asian joint on Broadway at around 49th or so) called Ollie's. It looks like a set from Indiana Jones. There is also a McCormick & Schmick seafood place on 49th (or so) and 6th Avenue. Good, reliable seafood in a klassy looking dark wood and frosted glass atmosphere. It's a chain (I've eaten at the ones in San Diego and Baltimore and, if I remember right, Seattle) but don't hold that against it. Very good crab cakes. Somebody told me that the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurant is actually pretty good but I don't believe them.

That's all I got but, being a New Yorker and all, I rarely visit Times Square now that it's all hooker and sleaze-free.

I love Carmine's, Mot. It's a family style Italian place right there on TS (you can look it up). The food is awesome and huge portions. You do have to make a reservation in advance though.

That's all I got other diner type places that my girls loved when we went.

Greatly appreciate your tips Lairbo, John's Pizza sounds like a good place for lunch. We'll check out the others for dinner.

Sorry Sooz, seems I was typing while you were posting. Carmine's sounds like a real nice "family" restaurant alright. I love Italian food so i'll check it out.

What a dumb law. No social dancing. Doesn't New York have anything else to worry about?

*does a little jig in an unlicensed facility just to be spiteful*

Can't wait until Mot gets to NYC and finds out there's at least 82 pizza joints named "John's Pizza." All of them good, of course. I used to eat at Joe's Pizza on Fordham Road in the Bronx. Awesome.

DeskDiva, I love DeNozo. Great pic. And it's a great show. Mark Harmon's not too shabby either. And the women are very cool too. :)

*Out of nowhere, and apropos of nothing in particular, Mr. Completely drops trou and streaks through the blog! WOO HOO!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!*

Not sure I would've gone with "apropos of nothing" in this case.

AWBH: It's actually the proliferation of "Ray's" pizza ya gotta watch out for. There are at least two distinct outfits, "Famous" and "Original," and they both undercook the dough and use too much cheese. I've heard good things about Bronx pizza but never had the privilege. Almost worth the trip (it's a shlepp) is Grimaldi's in Brooklyn Heights.

Back On Topic (kinda) New New York motto: "Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Beaver!" (or vice-versa).

What's even more disgusting about the Taco Bell story is that I've actually eaten there -- only once, thankfully. It is gross, and right by NYU, so I guess any plans to take out university students hasn't worked so far.

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