24

Here are the schematics of the plot perimeter:

The highlight of last week's episode was the heartwarming moment between Jack and his dad, Farmer Hoggett, when FH made Jack kneel down at gunpoint, but decided -- The old softy! --not to shoot Jack in the back of his head. That's how you show true affection Bauer-family style: by not killing a fellow Bauer. I'm assuming Jack and his dad will meet again before this season is up, and that their father-son reunion will make The Texas Chainsaw Massacre look like Teletubbies.

Anyway, at the very end of last week, Farmer Hoggett left a phone for Jack, with instructions to call a certain number, and when Jack did, the person at the other end, in a totally unexpected plot twisteroo, was...

Anna Nicole Smith.

No, sorry, she is still deceased, and so is Edgar. The shocking twisteroo person at the other end was Disgraced Former President Complete Handbag, whom we used to hate but who now looks pretty good compared with our current leader, President Gary Payton of Your World Champion For Now Miami Heat, whose strategy for dealing with nuclear terrorists is apparently to put the entire nation into a drooling stupor by talking in measured tones.

In subplot action, the Ally McBeal Weenie, who looked like he was going to join the plot -- which this blog wholeheartedly supports -- to whack President Payton and replace him with Vice President Powers Boothe, decided instead to rat out the plotters, so he was clubbed with a flashlight in the bunker by Colonel Mustard, who... no, wait, sorry, he was clubbed by his treacherous aide Reed, but, tragically, does not appear to have been killed.

In the Morris-and-Chloe subplot, Morris is still down on himself for programming the suitnukes after being used as a human do-it-yourself project by the evil terrorist submastermind Fayed. Chloe still loves Morris because he did not metabolize his alcohol. (Chloe can tell, just by looking at you, what you have metabolized.)

The Walid-and-Sandra subplot has completely disappeared, which is fine with me. If the writers try to bring it back, I think the other characters should say to them, "Get out of here! You never had anything to do with the plot anyway!"

Anyway, the big question tonight is: What will ex-president Handbag tell Jack about Gredenko, the evil terrorist mastermind for now? Can Jack find the remaining bombs before they go off? Most important of all, will there be any sightings of ex-president Handbag's First Lady?

We will just have to wait and see. And while we are waiting, let us not forget to metabolize.

UPDATE: It is SO hard to get good terrorist submastermind help these days.

UPDATE: The bunker has Ominous Muzak.

UPDATE: PERIMETER!

UPDATE: "He reminds me of you... neither one of you can act."

UPDATE: "Hi! We're here to kill the president!" "OK, then!"

UPDATE: Duct tape!

UPDATE: "We're not cold-blooded murderers." Who WRITES this stuff?

UPDATE: Victoria's Secret has reinvented the bra... again.

UPDATE: Morris specificed the wrong slot assignment for the SIP adapter! If I had a nickel for every time I did that...

UPDATE: If somebody had drilled two inches into my shoulder with a 3/8" bit, I would not swing my arms the way Morris does when he walks.

UPDATE: Too much talking.

UPDATE: Snore.

UPDATE: A drone!

UPDATE: So, do we think the terrorists will put a suitnuke on the drone, and it will drone away for several tense episodes? Or what?

UPDATE: It takes THIRTY MINUTES to get a bomb ready?

UPDATE: There can be no question that the highlights of tonight's episode are being provided by Victoria's Secret.

UPDATE: "Don't be sarcastic! Your data merge is incomplete!"

UPDATE: The Morris subplot is getting so repetitive that they have to be setting us up for a shockeroo, right? Like he's a mole? Or he's the one who reinvented the bra?

UPDATE: They're clearing a ground corridor. That's like a perimeter, right?

UPDATE: YES! Chloe is NOT afraid to yank a man off the toilet.

UPDATE: Morris didn't wipe.

UPDATE: The old cough ruse.

UPDATE: Seriously, you put a three-inch piece of duct tape on my mouth, and I will have it off in seconds without using my hands.

UPDATE: OK, it just now occurred to the weenie to do that?

UPDATE: Summary: Not enough Jack. Way too much talking. One boom -- one lousy boom -- at the end. The clear action highlight was Chloe yanking Morris out of the toilet.  And of course the reinvented bra, which seems to work well. We now await the amazing Steve, who should be writing the show, if you want this blog's opinion.

Comments

[Aaronak]

I'm not even commenting on how Jack has apparently utterly failed to learn his lesson about embassies.

[Jessica R.]

The President's doodies are now yours. BLECH! This dialog is crap!

[Chad4359]

Well at least there is some tourture next week

[Wes S.]

Next week: Jack invades ANOTHER embassy.

So this season will end with Jack packed off to a Russian gulag, instead of a Chinese one?

[danceswithvowels]

Finally. Jack threatens to cigar-trim fingers!

[Beppie]

Yay! Finger chopping next Monday!

[WayneHere]

At least next week Jack cuts off some fingers....wearing a suit....this week was below mediocre

[Sam G.]

Hey! Denethor from Lord of the Rings joins the cast. First Sam, now Denethor. Middle Earth is invading.

[MaryContrary]

Invading the Russian embassy, torturing the Russian diplomat . . . this is looking MUCH more promising!

[Kali.Amanda]

Jack's gonna take some digits!!!

[Jemmy]

Wait a minute. My local Fox channel said there was another episode, and now they are saying "Tee hee! We meant the news! Gotcha!" Only, they aren't saying it just that way. They did that last time, too.

[jodi-o]

I guess tonight the writers were trying to come to grips with how to have 24 without torture. They tried dialogue,'snore'. I see they gave up and next week we're back to torture. Saves the actors from acting.

[WoosterGirl]

That's it. I'm polluted and bored.

G'night, everyone.

Steve...tomorrow morning: coffee (lots) and recap. Cant' wait!

[danceswithvowels]

Can we get Jack to at least reinvent the bra next time?

[Zach Bauer]

"I'm not dead!"
"You're not fooling anyone."

[Beppie]

Well, y'all, it has been fun! I think y'all are more entertaining than the show. I cracked up many a time. Hope to see everyone next week! Good night to all!

[WayneHere]

Our Fox affiliate has a food fight in a high school turn into a riot---hey, Camden is the most dangerous city in the country...glad I'm 40 miles away.

[Chad4359]

I really hate they news

[Jessica R.]

"I don't want to go on the cart! I feel happy!"

[danceswithvowels]

Thanks, Beppie. But the bar is pretty low. *hic*

[WayneHere]

Our Fox affiliate has a food fight in a high school turn into a riot---hey, Camden is the most dangerous city in the country...glad I'm 40 miles away.

[JacksGirl]

This was fun. 'Til next time. . .

[jt]

Did anyone else feel that Bill's telling Jack that they had no jurisdiction at the Russian Consulate was kind of pointless, seeing as how Jack probably remembers what happened to him after the LAST time he went into a consulate (China's?)

And does this mean that Jack will be kidnapped and tortured by the Russians for two years at the end of Season 7?

[WayneHere]

nite folks---I'll try the regular posts soon....I promise

[bauerbabe]

Boy, that was as snoozer. I should have graded my geography papers.

I watched portions of Season 4 last night. The acting, the dialogue, the plot.

I agree with the earlier comment about the writers being paid by the word. Seems like the budget for actors was cut this year as well. This is some of the sorriest acting I've ever seen.

[Aaronak]

In Soviet Russia, Jack Bauer terrorises YOU !!!

[WizzyPigabeth]

lets hope next week is more violent better.

[tjblaze]

An episode so bad that the Fox coverage of the AN Smith carnival looks halfway interesting

[Zach Bauer]

WOTTA COUNTRY, Aaronak!!

[CJrun]

Very belated *snork* @ Aaronak!

[Jeff]

Why do I find myself now rooting for the nukes to go off? They need to do something to put some excitement back into the show.

Maybe if they brought back Edgar and the rest of the fallen cast members as zombies in a post apocalyptic Los Angeles.

Move over Jack Bauer - here comes Snake Plissken!

Snake Plissken: We did get you out. A lot of people died in the process, I just wondered how you felt about it.

President: Well, I... I wanna thank them. This nation appreciates their sacrifice.

[bauerbabe]

Hey, Amazing Steve, I've got a one-word summary for tonight's program...

BORING!

Man, what a let down this season is.

[danceswithvowels]

Speaking of excitement, can I say how disappointed I am that the new stamp won't be 42 cents? Marvin is very depressed about it as well.

[danceswithvowels]

Maybe Ron Santo will make it to the Hall this year.

[madame blueberry]

Home Shopping Networks next big seller, The Finger Snipper Scissors.

[Annie Where-but-here]

There were more bombs on the Oscars last night.

[vogz]

Rustic,Raking out the horse stall Logan is chilling.

[vogz]

Rustic,Raking out the horse stall Logan is chilling.

[danceswithvowels]

Maybe we can blog the Golf Channel.

[danceswithvowels]

I fear Steve has passed out from the ennui.

[ArcticAl]

Steve! Steve! We want Steve!

[Steve (The 24 guy)]

A couple more minutes....Just doing last minute checking....posting soon!

[The Blog kid in the Orange Shirt]

If you want some cool "follow up" episodes of 24, check out these cool "24 spoofs" that my friends and I (Jack Bauer) have created. They are available on youtube.com if you search "Boof's 24 Spoof."

To view the best episodes, click these links

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeZTILPyIiY
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM3fdnpiOQk

[danceswithvowels]

Yay, Steve lives. It's only a thigh-boredom wound!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Steve! Awesome synopsis! I couldn't have said it better myself! Good job! Succinct, to-the-point, eloquent.

[Steve (The 24 guy)]

PREVIOUSLY ON “24” - We found out that: Jack’s dad has really strict rules about letting his grandson out to get soft drinks; Lennox’s assistant Reed is still trying really hard to get out of his electrical closet and get an office upgrade; after she forgot how to run away earlier, Jack needed to tell Marilyn to “point and shoot” her gun, in case she messed up and accidentally “shot and pointed”; Jack’s dad doesn’t like heartfelt speeches, because he ran away instead of listening to Jack; President Manilow is trying to look more manly now, but it hasn’t helped.

The following summary took place between 4 pm and 5 pm:

4:00 pm – Fayed is driving in the back of a disguised Best Buy delivery truck talking to Gredenko about a shipment from Nevada. Fayed is really anxious to get things set up. Gredenko says it’s going to be a few more shows until the advanced pinball machine technology they’re using will be ready to set up. Gredenko tells his thug that Fayed is living in the dark ages, and from what the lighting inside of that van looked like, I think he was right.

4:01 pm – Either President Wayne is extremely tall, or a munchkin just came in and told him that “The Ambassador” is ready to meet him. “The Ambassador” tells Wayne that he’s just SHOCKED about the things that have happened today, and that he looks a lot more Indian than Arabic. Assad and “The Ambassador” exchange words, none of them very nice, but they do fall short of the four letter variety. Assad does call “The Ambassador” by the name “Your Excellency”, but looks like he really wanted to settle for “The Mildly Impressive”. Assad excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Wayne tells “The Ambassador” that he’s arranged for some airtime on national TV for Assad, and that he wants their Prime Minister to back him up. If he doesn’t, he’s got a aircraft carrier that’ll bomb them back to the stone age, which “The Ambassador” says will be a step up.

4:06 pm – At CTU, Nadia gives the status on Gredenko’s house for which there is no status. Morris can’t even give decent status because he’s become horribly confused about the whole “telephone” thing, and needs more time. Fortunately, we’re saved from these non-events by Jack calling Bill.

4:07 pm – Jack gives in to his fear of elevators by going down about 20 flights of stairs while simultaneously telling Bill to set up a FIVE BLOCK perimeter around the hotel to try and catch his father, who is apparently not perimeter-ready. Jack tells Bill that former President Manilow has information about Gredenko. Jack says he’ll need a helicopter, preferably not one that’s recently fallen off a building. Bill tells Jack that President Manilow screamed like a baby and after the other prisoners complained, he brokered a deal to get out of prison and is at a retreat. The retreat is conveniently nearby, and so is the helicopter they’re sending for Jack.

4:09 pm - Marilyn asked Jack what happened, amazed at the total lack of bullet holes in her son Josh or in Jack. Jack says tells Josh that he’ll explain what happened to him later, and since Josh has played a lot of Halo 2 and Unreal Tournament, he doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary about what happened and agrees. Jack tells a Curtis replacement to take Josh and Marilyn back to CTU, where nothing ever happens.

4:11 pm – Downstairs in the presidential bunker, a well dressed man passes a briefcase to a guard in plain sight of all the other guards, walks through a metal detector, without taking off his shoes or putting anything in clear plastic bags… and no one seems suspicious about this in the least. He finally passes the briefcase to another guard who proceeds to go through the briefcase and finds a yellow marker. The guard proceeds to start coloring in his coloring book, and when he’s satisfied with the results, puts the marker away again. The well dressed man’s name is “Mr. Carson”, who says he’s a “policy analyst” who is there for “civil defense policies”, neglecting to mention he’s going to try and test out those civil defense policies in a very uncivil way pretty soon. The guard gives Carson a keepsake of his voice to remember him by and then lets Reed and Carson through.

4:12 pm – Reed tells Carson about Lennox, and about his plan to take over Lennox’s office once President Wayne is dead. They go in to see Lennox, who appears to be trying to pole dance on a steam pipe. Carson doesn’t like this one bit because that was going to be HIS pole, so they move Lennox into a chair. It’s good to see the presidential bunker has tons of duct tape available, probably from the duct tape and plastic sheet terrorist directives from a few years ago. Anyway, Carson really lobbies to have Lennox killed, but Reed says that Lennox is just the sort of sleazy weasel they could use later. Carson says he doesn’t want to risk himself counting on Lennox following along with the plan, and Reed steps up and says that that’s a risk HE’S willing to take. Carson doesn’t see the flaw in this logic. Reed says that they’re not THAT kind of cold-blooded killers anyway, they’re more the “Really High Profile” cold-blooded killer types. They plan on getting President Wayne and Assad bombed within the next half an hour or so… the “fall down and go boom” kind, with emphasis on the “boom”.

Commercial

4:17 pm – Reed uses his evil e-mail abilities to send a message from Lennox’s computer to Melinda, the munchkin that talked to Wayne earlier.

4:18 pm – Morris and Chloe exchange nonsense technical jargon for a few minutes, and then argue about Morris’ drinking habits, which, I think would be justified had he not just been tortured by a large drill a few hours earlier. Chloe really presses it, and Morris finally babbles a bit more technical jargon and leaves. Chloe grabs his PocketPC handheld, which is running videos using TCPMP, and magically checks his phone log through it. Nadia comes over and asks Chloe where Morris is. Chloe says that they’re short handed, and that Morris’s juggling will suffer because of it, but they’re trying to help him out. She leaves Nadia with a look on her face that says someone didn’t invite her to the juggling show later, and says she’s going to watch Morris pretty carefully. Chloe tries to call Morris’ AA-sponsor, but gets her voice mail. Chloe says to call her back at (310) 597-3781. Bill tells Nadia that Jack is America’s last best hope.

4:20 pm – Jack lands at ex-President Manilow’s house, who seems remarkably informed about everything that’s been happening today even though he is still trapped in his house from last season. Manilow is wearing his checked flannel shirt to make himself look manlier. Manilow says he wants to help, with no conditions. He tries to convince Jack not to use official channels to find out about Gredenko. (Has Jack ever hesitated NOT to use official channels?) Manilow says that if Jack tries to confirm with Markov at the Russian consulate, he’s going to end up in a maze of twisty passages, all alike, or worse. Manilow says that Jack has to go through “back channels”, and Jack tells him he’s seen Brokeback Mountain, and he’s not interested. Manilow says that’s not what he means; what he really wants to do is call on Markov at the consulate and get the information himself. Jack says he doesn’t trust Manilow, and instead of saying “Duh!”, Manilow says he should start learning to trust more.

Commercial

4:28 pm – Jack calls President Wayne to break the news that he’s been talking to President Manilow, and urges him not to be jealous of that. Instead, Jack tells him that Manilow needs a furlough by executive order to go see Markov. President Wayne asks Jack if he realizes what that means. You’d think that Wayne would jump at this chance, considering Jack track records with passengers lately. Wayne thinks that Manilow might try and get away. Jack says that it’ll be ok because he’ll be on the security detail that goes into the consulate, and beside Manilow runs like a girl anyway. Jack says that this is the only way that they’ll find Gredenko and the bombs. Wayne points out that “Gredenko and The Bombs” would be a good name for a rock band, and asks to speak with Manilow.

4:29 pm – Manilow tells Wayne that he has “a past” with Markov, and that he’s the best one for the job. Wayne says that if Manilow tries to make a run for it, they’ll tape the whole thing and put it on America’s Funniest Presidential Arrests. Manilow points out that several years ago, Wayne’s brother, President All-State, helped Manilow out and all he wants to do is help Wayne out now. Wayne doesn’t look too excited about this considering what happened to his brother, but finally agrees. Manilow tells Jack that he might not be the same man that Jack hated for so long. Jack says that if he’s got an evil twin that’s running around named Lore, that would completely fit into the whole “Star Trek” theme this season.

4:31 pm – A truck arrives and Gredenko opens the side to find a military drone, which he says that the American taxpayer has purchased, which means that it costs millions of dollars, and could be found for $1.89 on the Internet.

4:32 pm – At CTU, Bill is having yet another meeting, because he hasn’t had one in a while and was getting lonely. Bill gives a recap for anyone that hasn’t been watching for the last half hour. Bill tells Morris to hand over his work, and Morris stands up to give a speech about how he’s sorry for the whole “giving a trigger to the terrorists”. Bill agrees to give Morris his work back, over Nadia’s objections. I think she’s still upset about not getting that invitation to the juggling show Chloe told her about.

4:33 pm –Reed enters the electrical room again, under the not-so watchful eye of the Secret Service who don’t seem to be the least bit concerned with that room in the bunker.

Commercial

4:39 pm – Nadia can just not give Morris any slack, and goes to ask Chloe about “missing vectors”. Chloe covers for him and goes to talk to Morris. Morris says the vectors will be in his final report and tells her that “part me wants to go home, crawl into bed and forget this day ever happened”. I think we can all agree with that.

4:40 pm – Back at Manilow’s house, we see his television has been downgraded. He goes out to get his Presidential dress-up clothes. He quotes from Psalm 40, and somewhere a voice says “They’re so depressing”.

4:41 pm – We see that Jack, in addition to everything else he can do, is a quick change artist, because he’s now in a suit. He doesn’t look at all comfortable in it, because it’s probably (yeeech) one of Manilow’s suits. Jack is on the phone with Bill getting information on Markov, who Jack will probably be shooting really soon now. Bill calls Chloe to tell her to get everything arranged.

4:42 pm – Chloe takes a phone call from his AA-sponsor, and it turns out that she left several years earlier. Morris has been lying! Imagine that. I’m shocked. Really. Some one the show staff is, I’m sure, because they play some really dramatic “Morris was lying music”. Chloe goes all over looking for him.

4:44 pm – Chloe runs into the men’s room to find out something that’s been on women’s minds everywhere: What does the inside of a men’s room really look like? Morris looks completely horrified that Chloe is in the room, and tells her that he has a NEW sponsor. Some guy tries to enter the bathroom, and Chloe tells him to hold it. She watches to make sure Morris washes his hands, and leaves. Morris pulls out a bottle of fake television whiskey and pours it out.

4:46 pm – The Presidential Munchkin hands Wayne the executive order to authorize Manilow’s release, and tells him that they’re actually going to rehearse for Assad’s speech. Wayne tells her to make sure that Lennox is there because he always does something good for the blooper reel.

4:47 pm – Back in Reed’s electrical closet, Lennox coughs through his duct tape. He looks disgusted that what he just coughed up is now stuck to the tape. Reed tries to make nice, and Lennox tries to tell him he’s just like Fayed. This doesn’t make Reed too happy. It turns out that the yellow and red markers that guard checked are actually EXPLOSIVE markers, and the tape recorder is a bomb too! That guard better not crumble up that paper, or they’ll get the idea something funny is going on when it explodes. Carson gives Reed instructions on how to set the bomb off remotely by entering numbers into a PDA.

Commercial

4:53 pm – To fill time until the top of the hour, Reed takes the long way around to the studio where Wayne and Assad are going to be practicing. Reed puts the explosive recorder at the podium as Wayne and Assad enter the room. They take a bit of time and exchange a bit of ironic banter about “taking risks”, and then launch into a bit of political speech. As Assad goes to the podium, Wayne seems to think the fact that Lennox, who is usually never more than five feet away, isn’t around is a bit weird.

4:57 pm – Back in the electrical room, Lennox sees a lever, hits it with his foot, and sends the pipe into the red zone. Carson notices and turns it off, and gives Lennox some extra duct tape.

4:59 pm – Reed enters the numbers into the device, which triggers the device to release some of the red liquid inside of it. Assad notices the red liquid, and since he’s done about a thousand of these bombs before, yells “Bomb”, dives for President Wayne and the podium blows up in a kind of spectacular fiberboard explosion. Lots of secret service guys go into the room. They find President Wayne! He’s got Presidential blood all over him!

5:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME ON “24”: PRESIDENT WAYNE HAS BORG TUBES IN HIM! VICE-PRESIDENT NOAH IS GOING TO TAKE OVER! REED TRIES TO PROTECT LENNOX! MANILOW DOESN’T GET SQUAT OUT OF MARKOV! JACK IS IN AN EMBASSY WITH A GUN! WE ALL REMEMBER HOW THINGS ENDED UP LAST TIME HE DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT! JACK THREATENS MARKOV WITH A CIGAR CUTTER!

[mellio]

Heh...while I was waiting for Steve (and about to decide the poor man passed out in front of his TiVo), I found this:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/thequeen/large.html

I didn't know Farmer Hoggett also played Prince Philip! Neat!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Since I didn't watch tonight's episode, I gained an hour on youse. Neener.

[Val]

Zips in....

My quick takes on tonight....

President Handbag is a bit OCD - did you see his ties & cuff links all in perfect order?

We had Jack Eye Candy tonight! Woohoo! Jack in a suit!

President Handbag told Jack to use "back" channels. Good thing I had on my closed captioning because it sounded like he said "bat" channels. I was thinking it was actually about to start being interesting! Adam West on "24"!

Anyway....

I have new work hours now and actually work during the day like normal people - so I guess I'm supposed to go to bed now that it's dark? Good night!

Zips out...

[Annie Where-but-here]

Whoops...sorry about that premature adulation. That's the first time it's happened....really.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Val....pssst....please choose another way to make an entrance...'zipping in & out' is copyrighted by a legal type bloggette. If she sees you using it, you'll be zipping your appendix back in.

[ArcticAl]

Great job as usual Steve, Its amazing how you can make so much out of so little, especially tonight.

[Annie Where-but-here]

ArcticAl - he's almost like a government employee that way, isn't he?

[ArcticAl]

Now Annie, I don't think you should call The Amazing Steve names. I was thinking more like feeding the starving 24 masses with just a few loaves of bad dialogue and fishy plot twists.

[xyzzy]

*Snork* I'm amazed at Steve's twisty passages reference. If only 24 were an adventure again.

[danceswithvowels]

*Snork* I'm amazed at Steve's twisty passages reference. If only 24 were an adventure again.

Posted by: xyzzy

Actually, that was me. I didn't realize that xyzzy was a typepad id.

[Annie Where-but-here]

way to mess with da bot, danceswith. -"I know you are, but what am I?"

[McFudge]

May I suggest "Do you understand me?", accompanied by the Death Stare, as an additional drinking cue?

[Michael Flanders]

My pleash, Annie. But why does xyzzy link to a page on French-speaking Walloons?

[Chuck]

Annie.

Don't worry. Premature adulation happens to everybody at some point. Just think about multiplication tables next time.

[3/8" Drill WBAGNFARB]

In re: the size of the drill. Of course you think it's bigger than it really is. That's human nature. I will only point out that Dave and Steve called it that first. Neener. Booger.

[Siouxie]

Steve! amazingly amazing!! as usual.

[Just Ducky]

Terrific, Amazing Steve! And a special *snork* for the "Lore" evil twin reference! (I miss Data.)

[Surfin' USA]

It dawned on me that destroying the country is extremely unimportant. The real qustion is: how long was Morris in the Men's Room and what took place inside the stall? Can Morris set off a bomb without using a sound recorder?

Enquiring minds want to know

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Morning, blogits!

Wuz something on TV last night? Why are there so many comments on this blog entry?

[Kristy]

4:46--"Presidential Munchkin" HA!

I thought I was the only one who noticed how elvish that lady was. It was like she was bred small for bunker life. (I'll bet she lives in the bunker year-round and only sees others when the country hits Code Orange.)

And one quick question...did Jack visit Logan at "Hidden Valley Ranch?" I was trying to do two things at once and could have sworn that *Holy Handbag* was sequestered at the home of Ranch Dressing.

[Casey J.]

Are we currently in the sixth season of 24? I couldn't help but notice that the bomb code was 6-24. Hmm.. Of course, if it's the 5th ot 7th season..well, nevermind.

[dustin]

it wont let me post my summary :( check out my blog.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I know these middle episodes often tend to be action-challenged, but even by the usual standards this was a total snorefest. You should have been watching Heroes instead.

I know it's a great re-invention with uplifting implications for humanity, but they showed that bra ad FIVE TIMES in one hour!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Also, in the whole history of 24, has anyone ever been caught by setting up a perimeter?

Either President Wayne is extremely tall, or a munchkin just came in and told him that “The Ambassador” is ready to meet him.

Actually, Steve, it was both. Wayne is 6'3" tall and the Munchkin clearly isn't.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Jeff - I knew I forgot to go back and correct something, and that was it. Even when I wrote that, I thought, "That doesn't make any sense". ...wait a second... this is "24" we're talking about...

[JunebugJinny]

Those "perimeters" usually feature, what, 4 agents? And apparently barriers made of cotton candy.

Can someone PLEASE turn the lights on in the Presidential bunker? There are long stretches where my TV has only a dark screen and voices spewing out Wooden Dialogue; I'd at least like to be able to ogle Hot Assad while groaning about the dopey comments these characters are making.

"It just hit me ... we're killing the President of the United States."

I hate you, Chad Lowe. And your little "policy specialist" too.

[random thunking]

HI All, I'm LTTG, but in the game none the less. I know all you think last night's episode was a little slow. I'm thinking next season they should pick-up the pace and re-name the show 6.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Steve, I just checked.

Jolene Kim, who played "Melinda the Munchkin", is 5'1" so she looked so short because Wayne is so tall.

[Suzy Q]

Arrrrgh!!! The Bot from Hell wouldn't let me post last night!

[Clean Hands]

Whoo-hoo! This Blog is about the only thing that makes an episode of 24 like last night's bearable... First of all, obeying the metabolize triggers, and secondly, knowing that there are hundreds - HUNDREDS - of snarky comments waiting for me are more than enough reward for enduring such a snoozefest.

The bra ad was definitely the highlight of the evening.... though I am a bit skeptical that an undergarment can simultaneously shield against a bomb blast, AND leave no panty lines, if anyone could pull it off, it'd be Vickie's Secret.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

Very enjoyable summary, Steve.
Very boring show.

Random observation: It's not easy to be Chad Lowe, in RL or in 24. What do you do when you look like that and your bro looks like Rob Lowe - and is Rob Lowe.

Annie, thanks for your *zip* comment, I really didn't know how to handle it. :)

Wooster Girl, your ketchup/mustard bomb remark made me spew my Diet Coke - great!

[Val]

Are y'all serious about the "zip" thing???????

[tiger221]

"Jack tells a Curtis replacement to take Josh and Marilyn back to CTU, where nothing ever happens."

I expect bad things for Marilyn and Jack, Jr, as the Curtis replacement seemed to be RICKY SCHROEDER himself and I doubt he has a small role. After all, he did star in Silver Spoons! He is a professional!

[Kristy]

Hey, Jeff M.,

I just went to the Jolene Kim website you posted. Did you see that two of her "Special Skills" are broad sword and straight sword? (She can also "drive stick shift" and "talk like a man," whatever that means.)

They ought to hand Munchkin a sword and let her show off those Special Skills next week, preferably starting with Lennox & Reed...

[Insignificant Detail Guy]

Did anyone think it was odd that the sign on the outside of the CTU Men's room just has a symbol - but the inside has a symbol and says "MEN"? Do you learn to read while you're in there? (Seems like you wouldn't have enough time with Chloe dragging you off the loo and all.) Or does the Men's room at CTU lead to - another Men's room?

[Kristy]

Hey, Insignificant Detail Guy,

Good catch on the Men's sign *inside* the men's room.

Now please tell me you caught President Logan's location at the start of the show...was he or was he not hunkered down at the "Hidden Valley?"

[Insignificant Detail Guy]

Kristy, I have to admit I missed it - but I love their Ranch dressing...

[JacksGirl]

JunebugJinny, you might appreciate this pic of Hot Assad.

http://www.sidcity.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=116&pos=0

[Brian Haughton]

Morris is a Muslim.

http://www.cbc.ca/programguide/program/index.jsp?program=Little+Mosque+On+The+Prairie

[JunebugJinny]

JacksGirl, I truly do appreciate that photo. Even if it does need a little editing & Photoshopping. (kidding - insert evil smile here) :) :)

THANKS!

[kelvin]

It just hit me during lunch! Now i remember why "Marilyn" looks so familiar! She was on "Blind Justice", the tv series that few people tuned into which featured a blind(!) cop. The really unusual thing is that "Nadir" was also on "Blind Justice"!!!

"Marilyn" played by Rena Sofer was the blind cop's hot wife and "Nadir" played by Marisol Nichols was his hot police partner!

[Rosco]

Check out Jack Bauer's pizza commercial on www.dotcomedy.com

[BlogKid in the Orange Shirt]

go to
Boof's 24 Spoof (Part 3)
and
Boof's 24 Spoof (Part 4)
For a cool "spoof" of the show that my family, friends and I have created--enjoy!

[Justin]

Great recap, Steve...I especially enjoyed the "Monty Python" reference about Psalms. Very, very funny.

[knowhitter]

HANDBAG's wife could be a fun distraction tonight! or not WE NEED MORE COW BELL I mean MORE TORTURE!