24

Here is the situation:

I am at a basketball game between Your World Champion Miami Heat and some other team, so I will not be with you here on the blog tonight, although I will be watching President Gary Payton in action. Meanwhile, on 24 last week, the crisiszzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry! I nodded off there, thinking about last week's episode, which made me look back on the episode where the traffic helicopter fell off the roof as the Golden Age of 24. As far as I can tell, here is what happened last week:

Nothing.

Oh, it started off in a promising manner, with Jack torturing his evil slimebag brother Graham Grame Graeme Baldy, but that fizzled out, and they ended up driving to see their dad, Farmer Hoggett, who is helping Baldy find McCarthy, who (I only know this from reading the comments to last week's episode) is the guy who Baldy hired to dismantle the nukes, but instead sold them to the evil terrorist mastermind Fayed, who has been setting them off, but not often enough in my opinion. At the end of last week's episode Baldy doublecrossed Farmer Hoggett, who was loaded into a van with Jack, who we assume will overpower Baldy's men in nanoseconds this week and resume torturing Baldy, bringing us, plotwise, right back to last week.

Meanwhile the Wooden Dialog Generator was very busy, with characters spewing out millions of square feet of verbal lumber. The Ally McBeal Weenie got Karen fired, which is of course bad for the future of humanity, but good for us, if we don't have to listen to them argue any more. President Payton continues to be, leadershipwise, a deceased carp. And it is beginning to look as though the entire Walid-and-Sandra terrorist-cell subplot is, speaking of carp, a red herring. If that turns out to be the case, I think somebody should file a major class-action suit against the writers.

Meanwhile the Counter Terrorism Unit continues its tradition of handling major terrorist attacks pretty much the way a cable-TV company handles billing discrepancies, but with less urgency.

So that is where we stand. I now turn this blog over to you commenters, and of course the Amazing Steve. Good luck, and no matter what happens, remember one thing: Go Heat.

UPDATE: Good work by everybody, especially Dwyane Wade and the Amazing Steve. As I understand the comments, Morris is now working for the bad guys, which leads us to once again ask: Is there any organization on earth, including Al Qaeda, that has more terrorist agents working for it than the Counter Terrorism Unit? I did not think so.

Comments

[WA2CHI]

First?!?!?

[Just Ducky]

First to say, have fun at the game, Dave! You'll be missed here!

[CJrun]

Small Dog repellant? Check.

[CJrun]

Small Dog repellent? Check.

[dundee]

Almost second? Third?

[homeybeef]

I just start making my own more entertaining version of 24 in my head as I watch. I will be watching and reading this fun stuff in about an hour. (No one tell my girlfriend that I'm posting while I'm in class.)

[Dave]

For the record, the halftime score is Heat 65, Other Team 47. President Payton is not playing, having cursed out a ref. Since when is THAT against the rules?

[homeybeef]

damn. She reads these. Quick, someone pretend to be me!

[Just Ducky]

BUSTED!

[slyeyes pretending to be homeybeef]

wine, check
popcorn, check
remote, check
No-Doze, check.

Bring 'em on!

[homeybeef]

you best not be watching without me

[homeybeef]

and by me I mean slyeyes

[Gretchen]

Bad husband is in Orlando tonight, leaving me in DC where it's about 10 degrees outside. But 24 is coming on and my bloglit buddies are here, so life is good.

[Steve (The 24 guy)]

Someone we all know wanted me to post this... :-)

----
From across you ocean, you hear tropichunt.com guy™ snoring, while...

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by JackSack™ and ChloeSack™

LET'S GET READY TO FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLLLLLE!

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

Left Coast czeching in before czeching out.

See y'all tomorrow. Have fun, and I pray that someone gets shot in the thigh...:)

[Just Ducky]

Who, me? *bats eyes innocently*

And by me, I mean Just Ducky.

[Wes S.]

Previously on "24": ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz.

Can we just jump ahead to where Jack starts torturing Graem again?

Oh, and: Hi, everybody.

[Gretchen]

Where's SuzyQ? What's for dinner? I don't think I can watch under these circumstances!

[Just Ducky]

*waves at Eleanor*

Wish I could stay with y'all--have fun!
*flaps away*

[Cheesewiz]

painter's mask is going to help

[JediRacer8]

Oh, so they do remember the giant mushroom cloud.

[Gretchen]

Did he just say, "behind me is the nuclear blast"?? Who writes this stuff? Eight-year-old boys?

[Suzy Q]

Oh, sigh. I'm sort of here, with my wine and frisson of whatever from THC.com guy's intro. But I've been kicked off every Monday night from this server, so I give up. Almost.

[Cheesewiz]

sh*t weasels unite

[WoosterGirl pretending to be homeybeef]

Imagining:
Well-written dialogue
The return of charismatic terrorists
A gunshot to the thigh
Audrey really really dead

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

The reporter filming that nuclear cloud doesn't wonder what happens if the wind shifts?

[Wes S.]

So finally President Limpwrist Junior is going to take decisive action...against Tom.

[Ann]

Suspending habeas corpus? Who do you think you are, Lincoln?

[WA2CHI]

Wormtongue!

[Gretchen]

Suz - say it ain't so!!! Is it your server or Dave's? That's so wrong!!!

[Tigerfaninnc]

NO Suzy! Don't ever give up we NEED you!

[Jazzzz]

I'm not watching at the moment, but zzzzzzzzzzzz. UNLESS Grim gets to play with the plastic bag. Keep me posted.

[Suzy Q]

Thanks for taking over the checklist, sly.

Gretchen! *smooches*

Dinner was leftover chicken wings. and now, fresh pineapple. I know, but I didn't cook tonight.

[WoosterGirl]

Fayed redefine the country?

Didn't bin Laden do that already?

Copycat terrorists!

[Waffles]

Umm, the president has gone MANILOW!

[Cheesewiz]

terrorism is tough on a marriage

[Bryan]

"I love you, too schnookums."

[ChuckE]

Karen is flying from Washington to LA. Which, since this is 24, means we can expect to see her on the 405 by the end of this hour.

[Bryan]

oh yeah, and good evening, everyone

[Ann]

Anyone think Fayed is going to disguise the next nuke as a cartoon moonman litebrite?

[Suzy Q]

Gretchen, it's Dave's server. And even when I switch to a proxy server, I'm always blacked out by about 15 minutes into it.

I'll try to stay with it until they kill me off tonight.

Now, what the hell is going on? Who's that old guy with Jack?

[Cheesewiz]

heading the family? Just what are these Bauers up to?

[Waffles]

OMG, Jack inst answering his cell phone? That would never happen if he had Cingular!

[WA2CHI]

The family? The Company? Are they mafiosi or greedy capitalists?

[Jazzzz]

I forgot who pointed it out, but I thought there was a no fly rule!!

[CJrun]

Wait! Isn't this the set for they Toyota commercial?

[Gretchen]

Jack lives in LA. His dad lives in LA. Exactly WHERE did he leave to?

[Suzy Q]

Is that Curtis? Isn't he dead?

[WoosterGirl]

I sense a Great Escape.

Bite your brother, Jack.

[Wes S.]

So...the bad guys just happen to have a ready-dug shallow grave lying around just in case? With a concrete truck ready to fill it in?

Wow, quick work.

[Bryan]

What do we think they are going to do with the cement mixer?

[slyeyes]

Daddy Bauer has BALLZZZ

[WriterDude]

I'm off the blog until 24 is over in the Mountain Perimeter Zone. Have fun all you easties, and as always, don't tell the guy from LA Daily that I started watching, okay? I'll give you a treat for keeping quiet.

[Bryan]

The family that kills together, stays together.

[Suzy Q]

Shoot 'em, Jack! Oh, YES!!!!

[Zach Bauer]

If only Sherry was here to nag Peter "Janosz" MacNicol to death....

[JediRacer8]

Alright a shooting! Already ahead of last week.

[dantes]

Perimeter!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

An early perimeter!!! YAY!

[NY girl]

It really sucks to be on Jack's backup team!

[slyeyes]

PERIMETER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JediRacer8]

Perimeter!

[WA2CHI]

Perimeter!!!

[WoosterGirl]

Perimeter!!!

*glug glug glug*

[Gretchen]

Oooh! Did someone say PERIMETER???

Hang in, Suz. You can do it!

[Ann]

Perimeter! Everybody drink!

[WayneHere]

Everybody Jack wants to question gets killed...& it wasn't him doing it this time. hi folks.

[WoosterGirl]

Rita doesn't look like she's ever been hungry a day in her life.

She could use a pie.

[bob calvin]

Shootin' and a perimeter...now we're talkin

[baligurl]

After 9/11 no one flew for days. No way they'd be in the air after a nuclear blast.

[dantes]

Okay, Rita needs to die. She clearly doesn't understand the stress associated with nuking LA. And she's whiny.

[Waffles]

Perimeter, and the bottles almost empty!

[Gretchen]

*Snorks* @ Woostergirl.

[Suzy Q]

Perimeter! *takes healthy slug of wine*

I'm still here, Gretchen! :)

*Waves to JD, Wooster, Eleanor, Ann*

[baligurl]

Sorry, my computer is slow.

[Zach Bauer]

Perimeter AND a Dammit!!

Double shots!!!

[Wes S.]

Not just a "Perimeter"...we also got a "Damnit!" from Jack, too. Drink up again, everybody...

...and wasn't it convienent that Papa Bauer whacked the surviving henchman before Jack could ask him any questions...?

[slyeyes]

Question for the class: Did Jack's Dad kill the guy to be sure Jack couldn't question him?

[WoosterGirl]

Suzy! Hi!!!

*waves madly, falls down*

[Suzy Q]

*rolls eyes, drinks again for the Dammit!*

[Wes S.]

...Off topic: While we're killing the bottle, can somebody kill the damn spam filter, too?

[Wes S.]

...Off topic: While we're killing the bottle, can somebody kill the damn spam filter, too?

[dantes]

Twelve minutes in and Chloe has yet to open a channel or mount a volume? What gives?

[slyeyes]

Baligurl, from what I recall, Karen is flying on a military transport.

[WayneHere]

That's my guess, shyeyes. And if there's gonna be this many drink penaliies (rewards?), I havta switch from Sprite.

[WoosterGirl]

Is that Ricardo Montalban for Taco Bell?

"Carne asada" is the new "Corinthian leather."

[MaryContrary]

Dave would be very proud of Farmer Hoggett. None of that pesky keep-baddy-alive-to-question-him rot.

Shout out to Gretchen: I'm not in DC, but in Annapolis (close enough).

[Suzy Q]

Apparently not, Wes.

[Ann]

*Waves back at Suzy* We'll get Jack on your server issues if they continue.

Actually, scratch that. We'll get Chloe. Jack'll just shoot the server.

[Crash]

Sorry I'm late!
Surely I didn't miss anything?!

What?!

1 Perimeter
2 dead guys?

The most action ALL SEASON?!
NOOOOOoooooooo..........

[baligurl]

Oh, sorry Wayne. Not just the 'puter is slow.

[WoosterGirl]

Wow. Milo looks like Satan.

[sarah o.]

When does Graem get dismembered/crushed by a helicopter?

[Gretchen]

Mary - Is it below freezing in Annapolis? WHERE IS OUR SNOW?

[Ann]

Hello, cheaper-salaried Seth Greene Lookalike!

[baligurl]

I mean sly...dang!

[ChuckE]

That kid is way too green to be entrusted to perimeter.

[WoosterGirl]

En pointe?

He doesn't look like a ballerina.

[Cheesewiz]

Oh sure just put your pistol on the dashboard as you pull up.

[Bryan]

"Recovering this image could be the only chance of stopping those nukes." SNORE.