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January 15, 2007

THIS JUST IN

(Thanks to DavCat14)

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I can't decide which is yuckier-putting a naked bum on the germy subway seats or wondering if the seats are even germier afterward.

Oops. posted in the wrong thread! Also, peeling sunburn skin is gross, and I wonder how long it will be until it ends up on Ebay?

If he had a sunburnt bum, would it have been a map of Antarctica?

what? no pictures?

this just in (comment unrelated to topic)

it is raining here in ohio today so the squirrel that lives in my office (in the ceiling) made a visit, i heard him scratching around up there for a while. my two is swollen and purple and would be funny looking if it weren't for the row of stitches on top. i am still wacked on percocet. oh, and i am still very "busy" at work and expected to produce large volumes of cogent work product featuring a lot of numbers presented in a logical sequence. people with tight underwear and no narcotics in their bloodstream keep making nervous phone calls to me. perhaps i shouldn't have shared the "frozen squirrel" story at the staff meeting. i think maybe to calm everyone down i'll show them the "atomic sit-up" at the next meeting.

Mud - your what is swollen and purple? Please reassure us.

And if it was sunburnt, which map would the skin be? Siberia? Rhode Island?

First to say "EEEWWWWWWWWWWW."

That is all.

His "two," Dr. Acula. He clearly said his "two." What worries me more is his reference to the line of stitches... sounds painful!!

(I call mine George, but to each his own, I suppose...)

I think I'm separated by a common language...

"toe" on my foot. toe. not two. sorry. my "one" sometimes swells, but not so much purple. no stitches there. just meant to explain why i'm not more involved in your thoughtful conversations today. stoned and busy.

Ah, thanks for clearing that up, mud. So... do you say things like "Make it so, Number One?"

that's just gross. reminds me of "Goldmember" peeling off his skin and saving it. eww

"largest piece of skin peeled whole a living human"

Almost as confusing as what mud said at first ...

When mudstuffin said two, he meant toe
Whacked on drugs, his mind has been thrown
It's purple and swollen
and we've no way of knowin'
if the squirrel will make himself known

Is that a frozen squirrel in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?

Happy trails to you ... ♫

(smiles, nods off to sleep listening to "happy trails" in his mind...)

(...dreams of squirrels dancing in a meadow, his big toe, now completely severed, dances with them, purple and angry - the squirrels taunt and throw nuts at his toe which surprisingly he can feel even though the toe is severed - he feels the pain in his groin ... suddenly he notices a replacement toe growing on his forearm - it grows faster and faster swelling and stretching and throbbing and turning purple. he raises the mutant toe like a middle finger to the squirrels and laughs "i am the fart prince!" he shouts and i have to present a revised budget in the morning! in the distance he can see a figure approaching in shorts and large glasses - it's peggy hill who asks him for his frozen squirrel homework which makes him panic - he didn't even know he had any squirrel homework! sheepishly he hands her a frozen squirrel which she takes with a huff saying "i hope you're glad!" now the puddle of drool reaches his elbow which causes it to slip and his forehead crashes to the desk like an artist doing the "atomic sit-up" and he jolts awake.

"damn, where's my pills?"

Another detour into the strange and wonderful land which is mudstuffin's brain on Percocet. (Come to think of it, it's not that different from mudstuffin's brain on an ordinary day...)

*votes to keep mud on drugs*

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