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January 26, 2007

MORE FROM MALAYSIA, LAND OF THINGS GOING ON

The 11-dog-eating snake has been captured.

(Thanks to Wes von Papineäu, who asks, "How does one tie a snake to a tree?")

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Thanks to Wes von Papineäu, who asks, "How does one tie a snake to a tree?"

Very carefully, of course.

Thst's kind of like the gators in Florida. They consider dogs to be self-delivering pizzas.

"How does one tie a snake to a tree?"

Well, first you tie a dog to the tree... the rest works itself out.

*snork* @ Changed.

I'll bet she picked them up in a Seattle bar.

Poor doggies...

One dachshund short of a dozen...

"How does one tie a snake to a tree?"

A square knot is preferred but a bowline will do.

70kg = 154 lbs = Samual L Jackson calling his agent.

"How does one tie a snake to a tree?"

-with a ssssslipknot.

-at over 20 feet long, maybe they just tied the snake in a knot around the tree.

Why doesn't he just use the snake to guard his orchard?

Or is he chicken?

A leash won't work well, unless you tie it behind a dog-shaped lump. So call the boy scouts to practice their rope tying!

In case you wanted a photo.

I'd also like to know how you tie a snake to a tree. ...just in case I ever need to do that.

Think of the product placement advertising you could run on that monster....in neon letters so everyone could see the snake coming. Maybe a scrolling ticker tape like the one in Times Square.

I gotta lay off the herbal pizza.

There was a snake who had a dog, and BINGO was his name-O.
BINGO
BING
BIN
BI
B

"urp"

Tie a yellow python round the old oak tree
Ate eleven dogs
Is he still hungry?
If I don't see the python round the old oak tree
I'll stay in the bog
And hide my new dog
And wait for old Ali
If I don't see a yellow python round the old oak tree

*SNORKS!*

Why doesn't he just use the snake to guard his orchard?

That was tried in the Garden of Eden, and that's how the whole Original Sin thing got started.

LOL Stevie & Hammie!

TGIF!!!! blog bar's open?

*ssssssssssnorkssssssssssssssss*

"Thank God I wore my boa."

He suspected his guard dogs were being eaten by a beast after he found footprints of the dogs disappearing into a swampy area.

"But I did not expect it to be a python," he said.

In fact, he expected it to be THIS!

Yikes, Meanie! I saw that video the othr day on the news..that thing is creeeeepy!

Who let the dogs out?
Gulp
Gulp
Gulp
Gulp

Sio, we gots red wine, brown beer, Mai Tais in honor of the python, and toe caviar.

CJ - you sure those aren't stone crabs?

I'd LOVE a Mai Tai, thanks CJ!! not so much the toe caviar...

LOL Ducky!

Siouxie, I'm on an adrenaline high thinking about seeing Dave in just a couple of hours! I've never been a celebrity groupie; couldn't care less about Hollywood stars and such; but I'm a sucker for a witty phrase...

It's been a pigout kinda day around here what with the laced pizza and the perka-donuts.

JD, you are bringing a camera...

Siouxie, don't forget the dogs.

Hamm, I have my cell phone; don't know if I can bring in a real camera, but I'll try. Don't know if I'll get a chance to be up close and personal, either, but I'm optimistic!

Ducky, you're gonna have such a great time!!! I hope you do get the chance to meet Dave.

Ali will soon be featured on "Animal Cops: Malaysia," after which he intends to open a restaurant whose signature dish will be Serpent avec bowser. He's hoping to get Anthony Bourdain to cover the grand opening.


ohhh yeah, Hammie...and the little dogs too!

LOL Lairbo.

Mmmmmmm....... tastes like chicken.

Well, gang, gotta go! I'll report back ASAP, and if I get pictures, you'll get pictures!

Oooh! Forgot I had seen that...enjoy Ducky. I know you'll have an adventure as fun and different as ec, Sio, and I had!

Have fun, Ducky!! say HI to Dave from all of us!!!

Enjoy, JD!

CJ, ec is on her way here to pick up some platters she left here on New Year's...I'll say hi for ya!!

snork @ StvW for the Tony Orlando tributary.

And Med, stone crabs are the Leprechaun of seafood. This is an animal with the 'OK, you caught me, have my claw,' attitude. Then he makes up some story of an epic battle for the chick crabs and gets back a claw @ 3/4 the size of the one he bartered with his next molt in a few months. If there's company around, I'll buy claws from a market. Otherwise, for crab claws you have to hold your breath then find a hole and stick your hand down it. So much like dating!

"tributary" - lol

Oh give lairbo a break, annie. It was just stream of consciousness.

CJ - You are so right. About crabs and dating.

It's all rather fishy and painful when you get pinched, but very sweet if you are brave enough to reach inside.

I prefer stone crabs to softshell. Just could never get used to the crunch.

*snorkle* @ Stevie W.

What if you get crabs while dating? hmm??

And for the record...Med, I prefer stone crabs too.

Honestly, I cut Lairbo slack on that! Meanwhile, I'm completing my Geek Hall of Fame Application while not listening to my usual Friday Night R&B. I stumbled across some Mozart and am lying here, on the floor. With the extra remote.

If you get crabs while dating, then you should date in The Big Apple. Cosmos and Condoms for everyone!

Sio, that's not dating! [covers your Father's eyes]

I prefer Rock Lobster myself.

I suppose I can see how that might kill a thread. It didn't work, for me. I love classical music, but Mozart was, is, even beyond fresh.

hello boyz and girlz. I can't seem to get the story to load (or I'm too impatient) I'll go out on a limb and say it is something the DBBloggers can make fun of.

CJ.........love classical music too

CJ Rock Lobster Stone Crab, Rock Lobster. Okay never mind.

Although I like the B52's version as well.:)


"I can't seem to get the story to load"

Jazzz-

It took a long time to load for me too. It's coming all the way from Malaysia, you know.

Malaysia....is that near Atlanta?

You guys are right, Mozart was so awesome because his music is mathematical.

B52s....... BINGO!

Cheryl - Do you prefer butter or Crown in your rock lobster, oooh waaahhhh?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anaconda dog-eater, baby!

OT:

I need you bloglits to weigh in here.

My 9 year old daughter asked me today what "lesbian" means. Apparently, several boys on the bus have been calling her names.

Should I:
a. call the bus company and raise hell
b. call the school and raise hell
c. call the parents of the perps and raise hell
d. all of the above

9 YEARS OLD! It is not the same world we grew up in. *sigh* And I had to explain homosexuality to my children.

/OT

med, i'm sorry to say that i would consider that a normal day on the bus. i cannot imagine how you've gone nine years without discussing different lifestyles with your family. consider yourself lucky! my oldest is regulary called fag and other hateful terms. if those boys are regularly tormenting your girl, call the bus company and see if they can assign seats and then have her sit near the driver. my kids had an issue with not only other kids, but the driver. we ended up changing buses but the logistics involved in that is daunting. worth it. but a pain in the @ss. four more months of this. i'm not sticking around tonight, off to bed before i keel over. whatever you do, good luck!! having kids is tough.

Crossgirl - Interestingly, when my daughter was relaying the story, her older brother chimed in that the older brother of one of the perps has been calling him the f word for a couple of years.

Who the heLL are these people? Where do these kids hear this $hit? And if it was the N word, the bus company and the school would take immediate action. But I am not so sure that anything would happen with these specific derrogatory slurs.

What happened to love others as you love yourself? Can we tie these people to a tree and watch while the boa ingests them? What a bunch of effing Richards.

When my girls were in grade school, they told my mom about a movie they had seen; I can't remember the name of the movie right now. Anyway, my mom looked at me in surprise and said, "I understand the language in that movie is rather strong for their ages." Meghan --who was 10 at the time-- looked up and said, "Oh Grandma, we've already heard everything that was said; we ride the school bus. Just because we hear it doesn't mean we'll talk that way."

TY, Sly. I hope so.

Some kids are incredibly cruel. I've tried to explain to my boys (8 and 10) how the nasty kids are insecure and hurting on the inside, so they throw verbal 'stones' at other kids to make themselves feel better. Just last night we were trying to figure out the best response to a bullies. Something that would rattle their tiny brains.

Once there was a kid that had been picking on my son daily. My son wanted to slug him back but was afraid of getting in trouble. I got the opportunity to take this nasty kid aside, and say kindly, "You need to be nice, or something bad might happen, okay?" As I said this, I did my best Jack Nicholson impression. To this day, the kid thinks I'm gonna get him if he comes near my kid.

Not to defend the nasty kid or anything, but his homelife is less than desirable. Apples don't fall far from the tree. Nuts land even closer!

Med - never mind that your daughter's definition of 'lesbian' is now linked to that awful situation.

Too bad you couldn't give her a cell phone with video capability. She could tape them and send the tape to the school, the bus line, and then...the local news.

As Marge Simpson said about 15 minutes ago:

--A lesbian is no less a bein'.

Isn't Marge the one that's married to Homer-sexual? NTTAWWT. D'oh, baby!

Or a digital camera with audio/video. All you really need is the audio. Something to record it and publicly embarrass the school. Or just threaten to record it and send it to the media. That way your daughter doesn't have to go through it.

Rosa Parks demanded, deserved, and got respect on a bus. Why can't we?

Aw, Med that sucks, and in such a "nice" area too! How do people raise their kids to talk that way. My parents would have smacked it straight out of me. Definately different times than when I grew up. I remember one kid calling another gay...but that was as bad as it got back in KU country. Long time ago!

Med...I'm sure you'll figure out a way to deal with it...good LUCK! I had to deal with thos issues too. Kids can be cruel and insensitive. The difference is that our kids had/have a loving parent to help them through it.

Anyways...it's bed time for me...

Sweet dreams everyone!

Homer-sexual. Cute.

He's so unhip when you say bisexual he thinks you're talkin' about a Schwinn.

Med -- I'll take crawfish however it is served. :)

But I think we better prepare it so everyone will like it. I'll start a Chopin liszt.

CH - ouch! Take that Bach!

"How does one tie a snake to a tree?"

uhhh, in a bow?

I don't know if I can Handel all of this.

Then you're in treble.

*shovels out beer cans, wipes down BlogBar, sets out coffee cauldron and croissants*

I will check back later to see how Ducky's night with the Remainders went, but first I must do something that is very poorly conceived.

It all began with a phone call that included the words
"...there's a 23-foot boat in my driveway and it's Gasparilla!"

Sure, I need to mow my lawn and do chores, but the Imperial City of Tampa lies there, mocking us with her rules and, periodically, hanging us. We will take that City, topple the government, pillage, and ravish the women.

As best we can, shivering our pirate @sses off in January! I'll see if I can act as roving, one-eyed, hook-armed reporter.

I'd post a musical pun, but Mozart already taken.

Mornin' CJ!!!

COFFEE!!

Mornin', yall! Donuts?

Good Morning! The croissants are delisztious, but I can't Handel the coffee yet.

Thanks for the encouragement about my angel. I am going to call the parents of the perpetrators. Let them deal with their sons however they deen appropriate.

Wxgirl, my parents would have done the same. And Annie, thanks for the tip. I will implement it as soon as I have the opportunity.

Dave's blog just broke 52,000 on the Alexa counter.

At this moment we're at 51,999!!

WOO!!!

Pete......that's "in a boa"

Good morning all you bloglets..It's a wonderful day (not on call!!!) I have no plans but to take the stinky dogs (except the greyhound) to the dog wash.(groomer) I will be *zipping* in and out all day........the blog, that is.

We broke what? Who's Alexa Counter?

Wasn't me. I was busy breaking my brain trying to think of a musical pun, but I haven't come up with anything. I'll try again after coffee.

just signed on..meant to last night, but I sat down with a magazine artice in the Layz-...recliner at 9:00 after the birds had all been fed, etc. Didn't wake up till 7:00am... so sorry. Med- sorry to say, we went through that, too, though not on the bus. It's pointless to ask the school to provide a safe environment, it won't happen unless you get a lawyer, and if your kids are embarrassed to have a huge fuss made... Anyway, the bus issue for us was smoking. Our older daughter got sick from the smoke from the kids sneaking one on the bus. Thankfully by then my husband had taken early retirement, and could drive them...I feel bad for the kids who have no other option.

Anyway, where are those augmented donuts???

"Once there was a kid that had been picking on my son daily."

Annie - maybe if you didn't name your son "Daily" these things wouldn't happen!

Mornin'!!

Greetings, all, and thanks for the breakfast and goodies. I feel Rachmaninoff this morning for a half dozen eggs, at least, as we Ravel in the punnery.

You did the right thing, Med. Schools will not act swiftly, and will push it right back in your direction anyway.

Morning blogpals. Weighing in on the bus issue...question: do the buses have video monitoring? Even the buses here in Podunk, NC have video monitoring. Even with videos tho, unless someone complains, the tapes are not reviewed. My 11 year old daughter was being sexually harrassed by 14 year old boys on the bus. She told me, I told the school, the tapes were reviewed and 3 boys kicked off the bus by the end of the day. They caught one of the boys actually touching her butt! My son was suspended from the bus for 3 days for throwing a piece of paper (deservedly). Luckily, our school takes these issues VERY VERY seriously. All it takes is a phone call and problem is investigated and disciplinary action is taken.

I certainly would not call the parents of the boys. Who do you think they learned this behaviour from? When resolving the sexual crap my daughter was dealing with, I asked the school for confidentiality so that she would not be retaliated against. Never heard another word about it. The boys mistreating your daughter are nothing more than bullies and bullies bully those that can be bullied. If the boys or their parents are confronted directly, it may get worse for her.

Good luck to you, it's a terrible situation, but I think it will work out.

One other thought. In this world of political correctness & litigation, if the school does not take your complaints seriously, you may want to mention the words sexual harrassment, discrimination and anything else you can think of. While I never had to take that route, the lady at the school that I dealt with confessed to me later that when I called to make the complaint, the caller ID on her phone told her I was calling from my law firm. She told me she almost peed her pants.

Let me add that I am not litigious and would NOT have begun any legal type action. However, the mere threat is enough to scare the bejesus out of schools who are legally responsible for the safety of the children in their care.

Good for you, Casey! Sounds like you have a really responsive and supportive school administration. My daughters have not had any of these kinds of troubles on their buses, but other parents have told me of their huge frustrations getting actions taken.

I think it may be a good thing to tell the kids' parents. We assume this stuff is learned at home, and sometimes it is, but often it's not. Some parents need to be awakened to what their kids are learning elsewhere.

Thank you Meanie, for opening my somewhat cosed mind! I truly appreciate that thought. I was getting angry typing my post, just thinking of those bullies, and you made me step back and see I might have been unfairly categorizing the parents. Maybe they do deserve a chance to rectify the situation themselves.

While my mind is often "cosed" I meant "closed". throws missing L up there.

Yours doesn't sound like a closed (or cosed) mind to me at all, Casey.

Casey - Thanks for your insight. Unfortunately, I know the people at the bus company too well, as my middle school son has been the continual victim of bullying on the bus. Last year, there was a boy in the foster program, who kept grabbing my son's genitals. All the school and bus co did was assign my son to the seat behind the driver which seems to me like punishing the victim.

And I almost had to get an attorney to get that done. The big problem is that the bus company, Laidlaw, is subcontracted. They don't have cameras cuz that cuts into their profit. They don't have any real power other than kicking kids off the bus, and will those parents pay the $300 fee next year? It's all about money. I am going to start documenting incidents.

Casey - I just got off the phone with both sets of parents. I approached it as, hey, my daughter asked me what lesbian means. When I asked her where she heard it, said your son and this other boy were calling her the name on the bus. Just thought, as a parent, you would like to know.

Father #1: "I am Navy, and I don't tolerate this kind of behavior. What is your phone number? You will hear back from me on Monday."

Mother#2: (whose older son calls my son the male version) I had no idea my boys even knew those words. We will have a family meeting and I am sorry. I appreciate your call.

Meanie, you are right. Most parents have no clue. No kid goes home and says, "Hey, guess what? I beat the hell out of little Joey on the bus today. Isn't that cool?"

Score one for the parents! Oh yeah, my two heard me tell both sets of parents that if there is EVER an issue with my children, I would appreciate and welcome a call.

And simuling with myself: Thanks for your support guys! And for letting me hog the blog that is su
pposed to be about the dog. And the snake.


Sssssssssoooorrrrrryyyyyy!

I was banned last night- hoping this gets through

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