MAYBE WE SHOULD START A COLLECTION
(Thanks to -- surprise! -- Ted Habte-Gabr)
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January 15, 2007
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I'd have to see them first.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 15, 2007 at 04:43 PM
Ted - you were only thinking of us when you saw that article, right? Ted? Ted! Over he-- ... oh, nevermind.
Posted by: MOTW | January 15, 2007 at 04:46 PM
I feel the same way about my @ss.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 15, 2007 at 04:50 PM
Maybe they were thinking of taking an offering in the produce isle?
Posted by: from another world | January 15, 2007 at 04:52 PM
Oh, cry me a river! I'm SO relieved that her disability is now recognized for what it truly is: bullsh*t.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 15, 2007 at 04:52 PM
Oh, cry me a river! I'm SO relieved that her disability is now recognized for what it truly is: bullsh*t.
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 15, 2007 at 04:53 PM
And, let me be the first to double post via proxy server today! Yep, the spambot got me again.
But at least I can still post! *shakes fist at spambot*
Posted by: Suzy Q | January 15, 2007 at 04:54 PM
Say it again, Suz!
Posted by: pogo | January 15, 2007 at 04:57 PM
Take up a collection? With a disability like those she should get handicapped plates for her Ferrari.
Posted by: random thunking | January 15, 2007 at 05:00 PM
I have a collection of two, and Mrs. Baggins figures that should be enough. I once tried to debate her on this, and was quickly told it was two or none.
Posted by: Olo Baggins of Bywater | January 15, 2007 at 05:05 PM
Well, they disable ME!!!!!!
Posted by: Jazzzz | January 15, 2007 at 05:06 PM
Jazzzzzzz, I got no idea what that means, but I WONT it!
Posted by: CJrun | January 15, 2007 at 05:20 PM
Funny, I always thought her singing was her most distracting feature.
Posted by: Mo Faux | January 15, 2007 at 05:26 PM
Professional golfer is probably also on the limited access list - swinging the club with those obstacles is problematic...
Posted by: estrogen centrale | January 15, 2007 at 05:27 PM
"They're like wearing a great necklace."
Heehee, she said necklace
Posted by: Gadfly | January 15, 2007 at 05:37 PM
"but I WONT it!"
Posted by: CJrun | 05:20 PM on January 15, 2007
I wondered how long it would take that to get into the vernacular.
Posted by: pogo | January 15, 2007 at 05:38 PM
She "wears" them??
Does she take them off at night?
Posted by: jon | January 15, 2007 at 05:42 PM
Do they also restrict blood flow to her brain?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 05:58 PM
I don't WONT to know, jon.
Posted by: Clean Hands | January 15, 2007 at 05:58 PM
Produce department clerk: "Miss Simpson, you need to leave the store - your mellons are distracting our customers from buying OUR mellons".
(See second story)
Posted by: From Another World | January 15, 2007 at 06:00 PM
oh and, CLEAN UP on aisle 3
Posted by: Gadfly | January 15, 2007 at 06:05 PM
Please tell me I read that wrong. She did not just call large breasts a disability. Life is just so hard sometimes.
Posted by: Beppie | January 15, 2007 at 06:10 PM
Melons are not brain food.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 06:10 PM
Since she is now "owning" them (as opposed to leasing them, perhaps?) she needs to move on to the next logical step - of course, I am speaking of - you guessed it - handicapped plates. While she's at it, I think she should get them personalized - the plates, that is - suggestions, dear blog?
Posted by: Esther | January 15, 2007 at 06:10 PM
Annie, of COURSE, which is sad! But their impact on guys of the male type gender is more widespread.
Posted by: CJrun | January 15, 2007 at 06:13 PM
CJ,so they apparently impact bloodflow within the males of the species as well.
A mind is a terrible thong to waste.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 06:16 PM
Esther - How about Britney and Paris. They're all full of hot air.
Posted by: From Another World | January 15, 2007 at 06:19 PM
Is it just me, or is there something weird about that picture?
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 06:21 PM
These boobs are made for hawkin'
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boobs will make you buy a thing or two...
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 06:26 PM
These boobs are made for hawkin'
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boobs will make you buy a thing or two...
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 06:26 PM
stevie - that's her 'the Thinker' pose. Ah, the humor in contrast.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 06:27 PM
*imagines conversation*
Young Jessica: I want to be a gospel singer.
Breasts: No.
Young Jessica: Please? Pretty Pleeeeease?
Breasts: No.
Young Jessica: (Sighs) OK. How about I become an empty-headed, ditzy pop star whose major claim to fame is my bazoomage?
Breasts: OK.
Posted by: Just Ducky | January 15, 2007 at 06:29 PM
She's so unhip when you say "Rodin" she thinks you're talkin' 'bout a Japaneses monster...
(Actually, aw, I meant the picture of Ted Habte-Gabr - talk about wearing your breasts strangely.)
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 06:30 PM
and that was one of my favorite songs...so it was worth repeating.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 06:32 PM
*snork* at stevie and Annie!
Posted by: Just Ducky | January 15, 2007 at 06:34 PM
stevie - The girl ain't got no cultcha...
Posted by: pogo | January 15, 2007 at 06:37 PM
Thx, aw. I thought I went ahead and said something stupid.
And pogo - high five! I was wondering if I'd be talking to myself (again).
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 06:42 PM
stevie - We often talk to ourselves. we're the only ones who know what we're talking about.
Posted by: pogo | January 15, 2007 at 06:47 PM
What they failed to mention is that Jessica had several accidents in church and was asked not to return. Apparently she (and her 'evil twins') kept knocking songbooks off the edge of the choir loft onto the heads of parishioners.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 06:52 PM
Actually, I even channeled that you were referring to the TH-G photo. *goes back to preparing finger food for the BlogBar*
Posted by: CJrun | January 15, 2007 at 06:53 PM
Hey, Ted - NICE MULLET! ( he hates that)
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 06:54 PM
So apparently Church People tend to think that the Lord only prefers small ones in the congregation. While that is one doctrine I would like to buy into, I think Church People are just speaking for themselves.
Posted by: Beppie | January 15, 2007 at 06:58 PM
However, having found fame and success as both a pop singer and an actress career, Simpson now "wears" her breasts proudly.
Well, when opportunity knockers, you gotta answer.
Posted by: Ford79 | January 15, 2007 at 06:59 PM
Hey! I want to stand up for all us "disabled" women! That is, I want to stand up, but my back is shot.
Luckily, I have two men of short stature who volunteer to walk under my breasts and support them. And they do it for free! Some people are so unselfish.
Posted by: Punkin Poo | January 15, 2007 at 07:00 PM
Well, women church people are speaking for themselves. I'm sure all the guys were thinking, "Where did the soloist who had the sweetest rack go?"
Posted by: Beppie | January 15, 2007 at 07:00 PM
"...and the Lord said, 'Let them be light,' and they were light...."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 07:06 PM
*snork* Annie...
(and that's not a "your Chargers lost"-pity snork, either.)
Posted by: Punkin Poo | January 15, 2007 at 07:09 PM
only 6 weeks until baseball!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 07:10 PM
btw - I myself, an esteemed folk mass singer of the religious sort, have indeed knockered hymnals off the choir loft ledge onto the neatly coifed heads of snoozing, geriatric church ladies. They're real, and they're boobtacular.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 07:13 PM
Punkin, those men's first names wouldn't happen to be Dave and Ridley, would they?
Posted by: Renee (the First) | January 15, 2007 at 07:14 PM
lol, beppie and renee.
Her knockers were the answer to somebody's prayers.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 07:17 PM
stevie: it's alright, everybody must get stoned.
Poor Jess. Favorite line: "You can't pay for that sort of accessory - though I know people do."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 15, 2007 at 07:22 PM
Funny- I always thought she was the one holding the breasts back- they could have been stars without her but she couldn't have made it without them, ya know!
Posted by: diverdowndoc | January 15, 2007 at 07:25 PM
now i know why i never made it as a gospel singer!!
Posted by: crossgirl | January 15, 2007 at 07:28 PM
amazing breasts
how sweet the mounds
that make all men like meeee!
my i.q. might be
four-score (around)
but that's not the part they see!
when first they showed
in church i sang
as part of the lord's choir
but their effect on men
was not to set
their souls, but their d*cks higher!
*forwarding address, a big stinky pool in h*ll*
Posted by: insomniac | January 15, 2007 at 07:30 PM
*hits "snork @ steve w" button* .....And AWBH, as always.
Posted by: Jazzzz | January 15, 2007 at 07:30 PM
Here is the church
And here is the steeple.
Open the door
And see all the nipples.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 07:33 PM
insom - how much postage do I need to write you there???
Posted by: Punkin Poo | January 15, 2007 at 07:35 PM
I really don't mind the little guys under my boobs...but it gets tiring yelling "Gee" and "Haw" while I'm walking....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | January 15, 2007 at 07:37 PM
thanks a lot insom, i'll never be able to sing that song again without snorking everywhere.
Posted by: crossgirl | January 15, 2007 at 07:44 PM
insom, that used to be one of my favorite hymns.
Posted by: Just Ducky | January 15, 2007 at 07:50 PM
*holy snork* @ insom...
"Knocker, knocker."
"Who's there?"
"Moses."
"Moses who?"
"Mo' Sisters of Perpetual Motion are here to sing in the choir."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 15, 2007 at 07:53 PM
SPECIAL PBA ANNOUNCEMENT:
For anyone that gets hijacked by the bot - here's a "proxy server" for you to be able to post.
http://www.proxy.bz/
THANK YOU - that is all.
Blog Mom
Posted by: Siouxie | January 15, 2007 at 08:07 PM
I don't think we need to start a collection. She already has quite a collection of her own.
Posted by: BillyJoeJimBob | January 15, 2007 at 08:20 PM
wtg insom!
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 09:08 PM
Har poor cow.I wonder if her feet are persistently blue due to about one third of circulating blood o2 being channelled to her ..er..chest?
Posted by: crazy mother | January 15, 2007 at 09:51 PM
I'm not a 24 fan...but Jessica's bazoomage, now there's a thread I could snuggle up to. Wait...I mean wrap myself around. No...sink my teeth...ah hell, nevermind.
Posted by: blurk | January 15, 2007 at 10:26 PM
I'm with you, blurk. Someday I'll probably get around to 24, starting at the beginning of course, but right now it seems like too huge a commitment. And yep, this was a fun thread...make love, not war, baby. In the right circumstance.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 15, 2007 at 10:56 PM
Next part: Jessica Simpson starring in The Unsinkable Molly Brown.
Posted by: PirateBoy | January 16, 2007 at 12:04 AM
blurk and stevie, there's bazooomage on 24. and sh!t blowing up! a man's dream. just sayin'
Posted by: Siouxie | January 16, 2007 at 08:17 AM
btw - I myself, an esteemed folk mass singer of the religious sort, have indeed knockered hymnals off the choir loft ledge onto the neatly coifed heads of snoozing, geriatric church ladies. They're real, and they're boobtacular.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | 07:13 PM on January 15, 2007
Photos, Annie. We need photos.
Merely sayin' ...
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | January 16, 2007 at 08:20 AM
Here ya go, OtU. Ask and ye shall receive.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 16, 2007 at 08:40 AM
OK, stevie ... that's one of the "geriatric church ladies" ... whut's so "boobtacular" about that?
Ooooooh ... nevermind ... I got it ... (even if they don't got it ...)
Posted by: OtheU(manity) | January 16, 2007 at 08:44 AM
"They're like wearing a great necklace."
Heehee, she said necklace
Posted by: Gadfly | 05:37 PM on January 15, 2007
thats EXACTLY what I was gonna say
Posted by: Chaz | January 16, 2007 at 08:52 AM
I can't offhand think of any flatchested gospel singers. Of course, most of them don't buy their choir robes at Frederick's.
Posted by: Betsy | January 16, 2007 at 01:56 PM