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January 04, 2007

HUMANITY IS DOOMED. DOOMED!

(Thanks to CJrun)

Posted by Dave on January 4, 2007 at 03:04 PM | Permalink

Comments

First to say Psychic Squirrels WBAGNFA Punk RB

Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | 03:05 PM on January 4, 2007

First Doomed man.

Posted by: ShadowKatmandu | 03:06 PM on January 4, 2007

Third to say first.

Posted by: | 03:06 PM on January 4, 2007

Scientists with Stupidity I can agree to. Squirrels with ESP, not so much.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | 03:06 PM on January 4, 2007

Oh, and "reproductive frenzy" sounds like fun. Anyone care to join me?

Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | 03:10 PM on January 4, 2007

WeatherChannel watch pine cones. Moose watch WeatherChannel. Moose tell squirrel. Squirrel go into reproductive frenzy. Moose watch squirrel. Moose happy. Squirrel happy. Pine cones happy.

Posted by: Hammond Rye | 03:12 PM on January 4, 2007

Oh, and Reproductive Frenzy wbagnfa Psychic Squirrels first Album (CD for you young ones)

Posted by: Hammond Rye | 03:14 PM on January 4, 2007

Baron, NTTAWWT, but reproductive frenzy with a squirrel is NOT my idea of fun...but thats just moi.

Posted by: Siouxie *not into squirrel love* | 03:19 PM on January 4, 2007

Could it POSSIBLY be that the same environmental factors that cause a bumper crop of seeds also cause a bumper crop of squirrels???
trees starve squirrels Yeah. The trees all walk to a conference every February 7th to decide how many seeds to produce.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | 03:19 PM on January 4, 2007

and they are called "dumb animals"?

Posted by: wickedwitch | 03:20 PM on January 4, 2007

Chris, you ruined our secret! And we were trying for a big research grant. Whose side are you on anyways.

Posted by: The Scientists | 03:22 PM on January 4, 2007

If they have such great ESP powers why can't they sense when I'm about to pull the trigger?

Posted by: blurk | 03:25 PM on January 4, 2007

Hmm..like ok ..but like ...why does it like say that like squirrels have ESPN?? I mean come ON! theyre not like into sports!!!! DUH!!!

Posted by: Dumb Blonde | 03:30 PM on January 4, 2007

Hey Scientists:

If you were actually DOING science instead of pandering for grants (hooking), maybe humanity would have some of those useful things we've been discussing for years now. Like a cure for cancer. Heaven Forbid we get a cure!! Then all those people who work for the LiveStrong Foundation would be out of work. Plus the Scientists would only be able to sell us ONE PILL. If you develop a TREATMENT, everyone stays employed in the search for a cure, plus the Scientists can sell us one pill A DAY FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

/rant

BOOGER
(which may or may not have medicinal properties)

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | 03:33 PM on January 4, 2007

and YAY CJ!!!!

Posted by: Siouxie | 03:36 PM on January 4, 2007

*tosses a few gumballs over to Chris*

Posted by: Siouxie | 03:38 PM on January 4, 2007

I wonder if the squirrels have a better pickup line than "Hey, Baby. Want to see my trebuchet?"

Heck, any pickup line is better than mine.

Posted by: Heinrich the Rat | 03:40 PM on January 4, 2007

Heinrich - Try substituting 'mangonel' or 'onager' for 'trebuchet' and see what happens.

(Yes. I know they aren't the same thing.)

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | 03:45 PM on January 4, 2007

Amen, Chris!! It can't be said enough!

When we stop spending billions studying the effects of The PlayStation 3 frenzy on the reproductive environment of the three-eyed milk toad and apply it to real problems something might actually get fixed! Course, like you said, the drug companies wouldn't take too kindly to cures.

Posted by: blurk | 03:48 PM on January 4, 2007

YAY CJ for getting posted.

Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | 03:55 PM on January 4, 2007

Suddenly, I find myself thinking I wouldn't be surprised if they found something in boogers that could be an effective treatment for cancer, considering all the other strange ideas popping up lately. (Bacteria that live in toxic waste, for example).

Posted by: Glix | 03:58 PM on January 4, 2007

This is the last sign before the four horsemen ride.

Posted by: Addicted to 24 | 04:00 PM on January 4, 2007

Somehow, squirrels and trebuchets seem like a tempting combination. Of course, we would want to cover the squirrels in pitch first and light them.

Posted by: Hammond Rye | 04:01 PM on January 4, 2007

addicted - they are so cute and fuzzy, i wonder why everyone talks about the four horsemen like they are a bad thing?

Posted by: wickedwitch | 04:03 PM on January 4, 2007

Just like squirells.

Posted by: Addicted to 24 | 04:08 PM on January 4, 2007

Yay me, for getting silly science posted! This one had my eyes rolling as well. Re-reading the old Lewis Thomas essays and am reminded that he cautioned against bureaucratic science, especially biology. He named 2 or 3 that were OK [polio, tuberculosis], where the problem was narrowed down to a single factor. The rest, he felt, required luck and mistakes and couldn't be budgeted/ planned/ 'managed'.

Posted by: CJrun | 04:12 PM on January 4, 2007

Maybe that's why, when humans go into a Frito eating frenzy,they are trying to tell us something!

Posted by: Beppie | 04:56 PM on January 4, 2007

First, psychic squirrels.. What's next??!?

Oh the humanity...

Posted by: Otis Wildflower | 04:58 PM on January 4, 2007

ESP: Extra Squirrelly Perception

Maybe they'll train them to work with the bees in the airports, finding terrorists.

Posted by: Professor Knowsalot | 06:38 PM on January 4, 2007

I'm with DPC ... I'd worry more about the trees decidin' to produce more offspring (seeds) than about the squirrels readin' the minds (?) of the trees ...

On a somewhut related note (i.e.: reproduction), didja ever stop to think that a hen may merely be an egg's way of getting another egg?

Posted by: OtheU(manity) | 07:33 PM on January 4, 2007

I like that OtU. Or 'a blanket and some company.'

Posted by: CJrun | 07:44 PM on January 4, 2007

Sweet Lord above... this is what my tuition pays for? How wonderful. I'm in my last semester of school, and I find out I'm going to the University of Whack-Job-Land.

Oh, while the squirrel thing is nuts, this is even better: they recently completed construction in the Engineering building. They've installed heated doorknobs. Inside. No one has been able to give the rest of us a valid reason WHY. It's good to know that my tuition is four hundred percent what it was fifteen years ago for a reason.

Posted by: Deekay | 08:34 PM on January 4, 2007

psychic squirrel: The Amazing Nutkin

Posted by: insomniac | 08:48 PM on January 4, 2007

Yay CJ for getting posted! "They" have done something to my computer at work so I can't post. Boo. Bad IT department. (Oh, yeah, I'm in the IT department.) Bad co-workers.

Posted by: ShyJan | 09:20 PM on January 4, 2007

Deekay ... whut you describe is why I've long since quit trustin' "engineers" ...

(ShyJan -- um ... y'all are IN IT, and don't know whut they "did" to your com ... um ... nevermind ... merely ... nevermind ...)

Posted by: OtheU(manity) | 09:31 PM on January 4, 2007

OtheU,
Huge, huge company, 140,000 employees. The IT department controlling my computer is in Denver. I am in Sunnyvale, CA. I do local Unix workstations, where we load every game imaginable so the engineers won't get bored...

Posted by: ShyJan | 09:48 PM on January 4, 2007

Oh.

OK. That sorta explanation I can understand ... sorry for the cheap shot ...

Posted by: OtheU(manity) | 10:02 PM on January 4, 2007

Meh. Should have been more clear when I posted in the first place. Plus, I just don't do Windows, a very tired Unix folks explanation. And don't even get me started on the Unix (eunuchs) jokes.

Posted by: ShyJan | 10:59 PM on January 4, 2007

I'm not trineta start your list, SJ ... merely sayin' that my favorite eunuch joke is whut Marcus Lycus asks Pseudolus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum ... merely ... still laffin' ...

Posted by: OtheU(manity) | 12:19 AM on January 5, 2007

" do you want to be a eunuch all your life?"

Posted by: insomniac | 01:38 AM on January 5, 2007

O!M!G!

insom' ... I still giggle, chortle and snorf when I read/hear that line ... and I know the answer! And I expected someone to do it ... hahahahahahahahaha!!!

I think mebbe part of it is the way Sgt. Bilko delivers the line ...

Tnx fer knowin' that ...

Posted by: OtheU(manity) | 03:07 AM on January 5, 2007

Actually, the quote goes:

Lycus: If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times; do not fan the girls when they're wet! But you'll never learn, you'll be a eunuch all your life.
Still, though, it's one of the best lines in the show, besides all the others.
Pseudolus: An honest virgin! What a terrible combination!
And then there's always:
Lycus: Is it contagious?

Pseudolus: Have you ever seen a plague that wasn't?


I've watched that movie too many times.

Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | 07:17 AM on January 5, 2007

Gregory Hines pretending to be a eunuch in History of the World is hilarious.

Posted by: Layzeeboy | 10:44 AM on January 5, 2007

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