CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
(Thanks to Greg)
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January 22, 2007
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No
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | January 22, 2007 at 08:08 AM
Not a bad idea. It could distract people from the other noises that I make from back there.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | January 22, 2007 at 08:09 AM
One ringy dingy. Is this the bum to whom I am speaking?
Posted by: Ernestine | January 22, 2007 at 08:21 AM
"The station doctor extracted the phone and we sprayed it with disinfectant before handing it back to its owner."
Has anyone seen the US Cellular commercial where Joan Cuzak smells the phone and says "It doesn't smell any different." Bet that one hadn't been up anyone's bum.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 22, 2007 at 08:25 AM
Ewwwwwww......just ewwww.
Posted by: soulchef | January 22, 2007 at 08:37 AM
I bet the owner was thrilled to have it back.
Posted by: artchick | January 22, 2007 at 08:42 AM
She's just test-driving the new 007 AssPhone.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | January 22, 2007 at 08:43 AM
I take it she attended the Richard Gere school where she learnt which items one could safely insert into your butt
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | January 22, 2007 at 08:47 AM
"I'll have to call you back; we got crappy reception here."
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 22, 2007 at 08:51 AM
"The station doctor extracted the phone and we sprayed it with disinfectant before handing it back to its owner."
I'm afraid that's NOT going to do it.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 22, 2007 at 09:39 AM
Must be awful tricky dialing that way.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 22, 2007 at 09:53 AM
so that's what they mean by 'talking outta your ass'.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 22, 2007 at 10:06 AM
Re Lab's comment:
Hey, pull my phone.
Wait, that doesn't quite work in this instance.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 22, 2007 at 10:12 AM
I don't think there's enough disinfectant in the world, thank you.
Posted by: Billy Big Rig | January 22, 2007 at 10:12 AM
Maxwell Smart should put a shoe up her a$$.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 22, 2007 at 10:33 AM
Long distance constipation, get me Memphis Tenessee
Try to find the thief who went and stole a phone from me
She knows we'll dial the number, listen for my cool ringtone
So her bunghole got the message and and engulfed my poor cellphone.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 22, 2007 at 10:40 AM
She just wanted to talk dirty.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 22, 2007 at 10:46 AM
Suggested ring tones:
Out Go The Lights - Little Walter
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
In The End - Linkin Park
Walk This Way - Aerosmith
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
('n snork @ Stevie dubya)
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 22, 2007 at 10:46 AM
Speaking of Cell Phones and Cr@ppers. Since when is it acceptable to use a bathroom as a place to hold a conference call. I walked in to the bathroom at work and there was a guy sitting in one of the other stalls. As I closed the stall door, I heard a guy say, do you mind being quiet, I am on a phone here. Of course I took it upon myself to flush three times while in the stall and flush both urinals as I walked out.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | January 22, 2007 at 10:47 AM
JoG - no way. Just... no way.
What I'm trying to say here is .... no way.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 22, 2007 at 10:50 AM
***STANDING OVATION FOR JUGGLER!!!!***
Posted by: qsman | January 22, 2007 at 10:51 AM
I agree Meanie, but with god as my witness, It really did happen.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | January 22, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Meanie-LOL @ "Walk this Way!"
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | January 22, 2007 at 10:52 AM
*Does a perimeter shot for Juggler*
No, wait, that's tonight...
Posted by: Hammond Rye | January 22, 2007 at 10:53 AM
Bet she had one he11uva sphinctone.
And probably caller ID blockage.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 22, 2007 at 10:57 AM
The potty you are trying to reach does not ingest calls from blocked numbnuts.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 22, 2007 at 11:01 AM
May not work here...the women in some of the offices here talk and pee at the same time. I overheard somebody the other day bragging about being caught: "I told her, 'I'm multitasking!'"
Posted by: Glix | January 22, 2007 at 11:04 AM
and if it's on vibrate the user will see God.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | January 22, 2007 at 11:05 AM
Sounds like the loo next to my wife's office Glix.
SNORK @ Cheesewiz!
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | January 22, 2007 at 11:08 AM
you people are sick...funny as hell...but sick!
btw, Meanie?? Jack Bauer would have NO problem dialing that buttphone, let alone getting a clear reception.
Posted by: Siouxie | January 22, 2007 at 11:13 AM
You are right, Cheesewhiz. If she had put the phone on vibrate, her @ss wouldn't have rung and she may have gotten away with the theft.
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 22, 2007 at 11:14 AM
ok, back up. people on the bus saw her steal the phone but didn't see her insert said object?! how does one do that discreetly?!!?
Posted by: crossgirl | January 22, 2007 at 11:16 AM
It was the old Hey, look, something shiny ====> routine, Cross. Romanians aren't onto that one yet.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 22, 2007 at 11:24 AM
*shudder*
Lysol, anyone?
Posted by: Nurse Tammy | January 22, 2007 at 12:16 PM
*applause* for BM. Er...Blue Meanie.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | January 22, 2007 at 12:51 PM
Big, belated *SNORK* @ Cheesewiz!
Posted by: CJrun | January 22, 2007 at 01:10 PM
There must be some way out of here
Said the cellphone to the thief
I can't get no reception
All I hear is beep beep
Telemarketers, they clog my line
Tryin' to get my dough
None of them ever takin' the time
To learn the meaning of the word "no"
No reason to get excited
The thief, she finally howled
You'll get yer goddamn cellphone back
Next time I move my bowels
Crap flung on the cell tower
Not a pretty view
When that old woman came and went
Out came my cellphone, dipped in poo
--apologies to Bobby Z.
Posted by: Stevie W | January 23, 2007 at 01:41 AM