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January 22, 2007

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

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Now if they could fix her drooping brain....

I guess since there's no surgery to fix her personality, IQ and usefulness to society...

1) There are other often-exposed droopy bits that could use some touching up.

2) She should get that stresses-out Romainian doctor to do the surgery.

3) Mountain View officials can use her chopped-up bits in the squirrel traps. Then she'd be a useful member of society.

I have no great love for squirrels, but I don't know...it would be cruel and unusual punishment to bait the traps with pieces of PH, DPC. Ewwwww.

Going off the drugs has also been known to cure "drooping eyelids".

Yeah, yeah, Paris never had plastic surgery, and Michael Jackson never had plastic surgery.

Just imagine, if her surgeon botches this proceedure then she just might replace her "droopers" with "permanently open peepers". She won't be able to blink, so her enterage will have to include an assistant to squirt saline in her eyes every 30 seconds. When she sleeps, her eyes will be wide open.

*imagines Paris sleeping like a fish, snorks*

Sly-Or removing the 10lb fake lashes.

That reporter went to the University of redundancy University.

Know what would be funny? If they could rig it up so that a string runs under her scalp and out the back of her head, and when she pulls it, she winks.

That would be humorous, you betcha!

see previous thread.

BBR, Let's have the surgeon install a string that you can pull that will keep her mouth shut.

How does China Daily get this stuff before the National Enquirer?

Oh sure. Dave warns us about squirel attacks, but not about Paris surgery stories.

Contact lenses? I was sure it was all those donuts.

Donuts make my brown eyes blue...

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