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January 24, 2007

ATTENTION, MEN

Key Quote: Remember your partner is NOT a porn star so open crotch knickers are out for Valentines Day.

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Dang! that just blew all my gift ideas outa the water

ery important. Get the right size. Go routing though your partner’s underwear draw, find her favourite bra & knickers and note the size. If she catches you looking at her undies then come clean about what you are doing, otherwise you’ll come over as having a strange fetish.
so here we are right back at kinky

Whoopee! My first, first

I happen to love bright red bras and have no idea what a demi bra is either. No, wait, I can work it out -- just don't think about bras that way.

And I like lacy lacy lacy.

So there, bra experts!

Since when did red become "whore red?"

woohoo, Mot!

Hmmm... breasttalk at responsesource on buying ladies lingerie.

Guys: Victoria's Secret Gift Cards.

Always the right size, style, and fit. Just sayin'.

I like red lacy too..sheesh and I ain't no HO!!!

Amer, demi bra is kinda a half cup.

Yay, Mot!
*Renaming the paint color on my truck from "fire-engine red to wh0re-red*

otherwise you’ll come over as having a strange fetish

If your partner doesn't already know about your kinks, you are doing something wrong.

Amer, the best demi's have a little padding to push up and out. That's the Secret Victoria has been keeping.

I don't know what triange bras are either, I have a feeling that if you're any bigger than "B" these aren't options open to you anyway, or they become "fallout" bras...

If in doubt about the 3 foot long tassels then don’t buy it.

3 foot long tassels?????????? That being said, they would make good reins. Just sayin' giddyap.

10) Let your partner wear it for a while before ripping it off!
3...2...1...

Siouxie, would that be a half cup full or a half cup empty?

Um, my partner is, in fact, a porn star. Would crotchless be appropriate? How about something with zippers?

Ameri, living in the ligerie capitol, I'd of thought you'd be an expert on the unmentionables. :)

Boo A. In that case use the whole chicken!

Boo - Condoms, tissue, and batteries would be appropriate.

siouxie and LBFF are right, I think Valentines Gift Page is out of "ravishing red" garments for this Valentine's season, so they have renamed it...

Gadfly, hopefully full ;-)

Don’t just look at Bras & Knickers, get the edible kind so that some of your other senses can get involved also.

Depends if you're buying or selling Gadfly.

So I'm thinking of getting her lace-top, thigh-high, Cuban-heeled stockings in Red. This violates at least rules 1-5 and the end of 7. Is that bad?

No Dread, YOU are bad. Just sayin.

Cuban-heeled??

huh?

DPC- as long as they have the seam up the back you're OK

Thank you, Boo. I was just going to ask that.

Key illiterate line: Go routing though your partner’s underwear draw, find her favourite bra & knickers and note the size.

I assume they mean "rooting" and "drawer" there, but maybe the knickers got them too excited to spell correctly.

"Ameri, living in the ligerie capitol, I'd of thought you'd be an expert on the unmentionables. :)"

But they don't have names attached to them in the store, and anyway, the names would be in French. But then, once I remembered that "demi" is french for half, I kinda figured that one out. It's kinda dur s'il y a des mots étranger dans une phrase, doncha know. On commence par penser en anglais, mais pour seulement un mot, c'est nécessaire changer à français, ou l'inverse, if you get my drift.

Amer, your accent is showing.

oui oui!!

Siouxie - Cuban Heels in red, with no cr0tch. These, however, do not have lace.

AmerinParis - I dunno, I have that problem English-to-English...

"Amer, your accent is showing."

Oh that? The continental Europeans are all convinced I'm British when they hear me speak -- probably because I don't sound like Bush, Clinton or JR.

The Brits, of course, know I must be American, or possibly Canadian, or even Irish (if I'm out of breath from running after a train). I even had an Irish woman mistake me for being Irish.

It's one way to have fun.

ohhhh...got it, Chris.

I wonder why they call 'em that though.

"So I'm thinking of getting her lace-top, thigh-high, Cuban-heeled stockings in Red. This violates at least rules 1-5 and the end of 7. Is that bad?

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | 12:33 PM on January 24, 2007"

Hey, if I had a girlfriend, I'd love to see her in, uh, I mean, buy her that for Valentine's day. And sometimes bad is good! Sometimes it's even VERY good!

My French is limited to "Votre nom, sil vous plaix".

I've just followed the Cuban heel link and now I need a cold shower.

Then why have Valentines day?!

But what if your partner is a pr0nstar?
I'm just saying...

I thought the title was "Attention - Men". As in, 'Hey, single gals - we've found where the mother lode of real men.'

....sigh....

My hubby believes Valentine's Day is a massive conspiracy between Hallmark, Russell Stover, and FTD. If I want naughty underwear, I'll just have to buy it myself. *starts making shopping list*

Mot - translation (I think)
It's kinda hard if there are strange words in a phrase, doncha know. One begins by thinking in Englishh, but for only one word, (then) it's necessary to change to french, or the reverse, if you get my drift...

Lace itches, I've been informed, and should be avoided. Silk is always - always! - nice, and synthetics should be avoided at all costs. Demis are a personal favorite; just thinking about them, I need a cold shower.

Generally speaking, though, isn't buying fancy unmentionables for her for Valentine's Day kinda like her buying you a lawnmower for Father's Day? Sure, it's appreciated, but we both know who it's really for.

CH - maybe. He's never bought me naughty undies. I wish he would. Modeling them, for however short a time, would be a LOT of fun. *grins saucily*

"and synthetics should be avoided at all costs"

Does this mean I should exchange the PVC for leather?

CH, you wear demis??? nttawwt, of course.

To an extent, my ex used to get those for me AND him, he said.

What about open crotch knickers that are also vacuum cleaners?

yep, Chris! nothing like real leather.

Leather is SO much harder to clean. PVC you just hose off. Even after all the licking.

The "Trashy.Com" shop is located one block north of the Beverly Center Mall, on the right.

Or so I've heard.

I should know better than to opine in the presence of DP Chris. I stand corrected.

at this point i'd be happy with any valentines dainties, crotchless or not, whore red or not, vinyl or leather.

cg, I'd be happy to have a valentine dainty to show 'em to (iykwim).

I should know better than to opine in the presence of DP Chris. I stand corrected.

Posted by: Clean Hands | 01:43 PM on January 24, 2007


NO NO NO!! You Were Right!!
I have been informed that natural latex (rubber) is superior to PVC.

If your partner is a porn star, then she probably has plenty of crotchless panties already. And, anyway, is it really a romantic gift if it's something she'll wear to work on Monday?

I've broken all 10 rules and Mrs. Layzee never seemed to mind. 'Course the crotchless ones come from Victoria's Secretion.

DPC - unfortunately there are folks who are allergic to latex. There could be more embarrassing ways to go. I used to giggle to myself after I read in one of the trade magazines that several people had died during their colonoscopies because of a latex allergy. That might be more embarrassing.

Do you think Prince charles read this? What will he get for Camilla?
Ugly travels in a cycle, yes it does!

We need to have a thread discussing the bestest, most unique V Day gift ideas. Not just um, grinder-finders, but totally different ideas. Then we can steal them from each other and surprise our sig-ots.

Annie, for Christmas, I took the advice of the bloglits and got Mrs. H. some Bissinger's chocolates.

Here I thought she didn't like chocolates all these years, and it turns out that she doesn't like cheap chocolates. I do believe I'll be doing that again.

I might also sell her car, just for laughs.

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