ATTENTION, MEN

Key Quote: Remember your partner is NOT a porn star so open crotch knickers are out for Valentines Day.

Comments

[Mot the Hoople]

Dang! that just blew all my gift ideas outa the water

[mm]

ery important. Get the right size. Go routing though your partner’s underwear draw, find her favourite bra & knickers and note the size. If she catches you looking at her undies then come clean about what you are doing, otherwise you’ll come over as having a strange fetish.
so here we are right back at kinky

[Mot the Hoople]

Whoopee! My first, first

[AmerInParis]

I happen to love bright red bras and have no idea what a demi bra is either. No, wait, I can work it out -- just don't think about bras that way.

And I like lacy lacy lacy.

So there, bra experts!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Since when did red become "whore red?"

[mm]

woohoo, Mot!

[Queen Med]

Hmmm... breasttalk at responsesource on buying ladies lingerie.

Guys: Victoria's Secret Gift Cards.

Always the right size, style, and fit. Just sayin'.

[Siouxie]

I like red lacy too..sheesh and I ain't no HO!!!

Amer, demi bra is kinda a half cup.

[Hammond Rye]

Yay, Mot!
*Renaming the paint color on my truck from "fire-engine red to wh0re-red*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

otherwise you’ll come over as having a strange fetish

If your partner doesn't already know about your kinks, you are doing something wrong.

[Queen Med]

Amer, the best demi's have a little padding to push up and out. That's the Secret Victoria has been keeping.

[mm]

I don't know what triange bras are either, I have a feeling that if you're any bigger than "B" these aren't options open to you anyway, or they become "fallout" bras...

[Baron vonKlyff]

If in doubt about the 3 foot long tassels then don’t buy it.

3 foot long tassels?????????? That being said, they would make good reins. Just sayin' giddyap.

[fivver]

10) Let your partner wear it for a while before ripping it off!
3...2...1...

[Gadfy]

Siouxie, would that be a half cup full or a half cup empty?

[Boo Augustus]

Um, my partner is, in fact, a porn star. Would crotchless be appropriate? How about something with zippers?

[Mot the Hoople]

Ameri, living in the ligerie capitol, I'd of thought you'd be an expert on the unmentionables. :)

[PeeJay]

Boo A. In that case use the whole chicken!

[Queen Med]

Boo - Condoms, tissue, and batteries would be appropriate.

[mm]

siouxie and LBFF are right, I think Valentines Gift Page is out of "ravishing red" garments for this Valentine's season, so they have renamed it...

[Siouxie]

Gadfly, hopefully full ;-)

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Don’t just look at Bras & Knickers, get the edible kind so that some of your other senses can get involved also.

[Mot the Hoople]

Depends if you're buying or selling Gadfly.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

So I'm thinking of getting her lace-top, thigh-high, Cuban-heeled stockings in Red. This violates at least rules 1-5 and the end of 7. Is that bad?

[casey]

No Dread, YOU are bad. Just sayin.

[Siouxie]

Cuban-heeled??

[Gadfy]

huh?

[mm]

DPC- as long as they have the seam up the back you're OK

[Jeff Meyerson]

Thank you, Boo. I was just going to ask that.

Key illiterate line: Go routing though your partner’s underwear draw, find her favourite bra & knickers and note the size.

I assume they mean "rooting" and "drawer" there, but maybe the knickers got them too excited to spell correctly.

[AmerInParis]

"Ameri, living in the ligerie capitol, I'd of thought you'd be an expert on the unmentionables. :)"

But they don't have names attached to them in the store, and anyway, the names would be in French. But then, once I remembered that "demi" is french for half, I kinda figured that one out. It's kinda dur s'il y a des mots étranger dans une phrase, doncha know. On commence par penser en anglais, mais pour seulement un mot, c'est nécessaire changer à français, ou l'inverse, if you get my drift.

[casey]

Amer, your accent is showing.

[Siouxie]

oui oui!!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Siouxie - Cuban Heels in red, with no cr0tch. These, however, do not have lace.

[mm]

AmerinParis - I dunno, I have that problem English-to-English...

[AmerInParis]

"Amer, your accent is showing."

Oh that? The continental Europeans are all convinced I'm British when they hear me speak -- probably because I don't sound like Bush, Clinton or JR.

The Brits, of course, know I must be American, or possibly Canadian, or even Irish (if I'm out of breath from running after a train). I even had an Irish woman mistake me for being Irish.

It's one way to have fun.

[Siouxie]

ohhhh...got it, Chris.

I wonder why they call 'em that though.

[AmerInParis]

"So I'm thinking of getting her lace-top, thigh-high, Cuban-heeled stockings in Red. This violates at least rules 1-5 and the end of 7. Is that bad?

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | 12:33 PM on January 24, 2007"

Hey, if I had a girlfriend, I'd love to see her in, uh, I mean, buy her that for Valentine's day. And sometimes bad is good! Sometimes it's even VERY good!

[Mot the Hoople]

My French is limited to "Votre nom, sil vous plaix".

[AmerInParis]

I've just followed the Cuban heel link and now I need a cold shower.

[creative-type dad]

Then why have Valentines day?!

[jon]

But what if your partner is a pr0nstar?
I'm just saying...

[Annie Where-but-here]

I thought the title was "Attention - Men". As in, 'Hey, single gals - we've found where the mother lode of real men.'

....sigh....

[Nurse Tammy]

My hubby believes Valentine's Day is a massive conspiracy between Hallmark, Russell Stover, and FTD. If I want naughty underwear, I'll just have to buy it myself. *starts making shopping list*

[mm]

Mot - translation (I think)
It's kinda hard if there are strange words in a phrase, doncha know. One begins by thinking in Englishh, but for only one word, (then) it's necessary to change to french, or the reverse, if you get my drift...

[Clean Hands]

Lace itches, I've been informed, and should be avoided. Silk is always - always! - nice, and synthetics should be avoided at all costs. Demis are a personal favorite; just thinking about them, I need a cold shower.

Generally speaking, though, isn't buying fancy unmentionables for her for Valentine's Day kinda like her buying you a lawnmower for Father's Day? Sure, it's appreciated, but we both know who it's really for.

[Nurse Tammy]

CH - maybe. He's never bought me naughty undies. I wish he would. Modeling them, for however short a time, would be a LOT of fun. *grins saucily*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

"and synthetics should be avoided at all costs"

Does this mean I should exchange the PVC for leather?

[Siouxie]

CH, you wear demis??? nttawwt, of course.

To an extent, my ex used to get those for me AND him, he said.

[Edgar Greenberg]

What about open crotch knickers that are also vacuum cleaners?

[Siouxie]

yep, Chris! nothing like real leather.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Leather is SO much harder to clean. PVC you just hose off. Even after all the licking.

[PirateBoy]

The "Trashy.Com" shop is located one block north of the Beverly Center Mall, on the right.

Or so I've heard.

[Clean Hands]

I should know better than to opine in the presence of DP Chris. I stand corrected.

[crossgirl]

at this point i'd be happy with any valentines dainties, crotchless or not, whore red or not, vinyl or leather.

[Siouxie]

cg, I'd be happy to have a valentine dainty to show 'em to (iykwim).

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I should know better than to opine in the presence of DP Chris. I stand corrected.

Posted by: Clean Hands | 01:43 PM on January 24, 2007

NO NO NO!! You Were Right!!
I have been informed that natural latex (rubber) is superior to PVC.

[daisyj]

If your partner is a porn star, then she probably has plenty of crotchless panties already. And, anyway, is it really a romantic gift if it's something she'll wear to work on Monday?

[Layzeeboy]

I've broken all 10 rules and Mrs. Layzee never seemed to mind. 'Course the crotchless ones come from Victoria's Secretion.

[mm]

DPC - unfortunately there are folks who are allergic to latex. There could be more embarrassing ways to go. I used to giggle to myself after I read in one of the trade magazines that several people had died during their colonoscopies because of a latex allergy. That might be more embarrassing.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Do you think Prince charles read this? What will he get for Camilla?
Ugly travels in a cycle, yes it does!

We need to have a thread discussing the bestest, most unique V Day gift ideas. Not just um, grinder-finders, but totally different ideas. Then we can steal them from each other and surprise our sig-ots.

[Clean Hands]

Annie, for Christmas, I took the advice of the bloglits and got Mrs. H. some Bissinger's chocolates.

Here I thought she didn't like chocolates all these years, and it turns out that she doesn't like cheap chocolates. I do believe I'll be doing that again.

I might also sell her car, just for laughs.