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January 26, 2007

AND HE CALLS THE POLICE?!?!

That is to say, umm...And he calls the police! Of course. As any law-abiding citizen would do.

(Thanks to Andy the tropichunt.com guy)

Comments

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If his 2 year old daughter had found the bag first, she wouldve been too mellow to have any tantrums for a while.

It was oregano, dudes!!

Because certainly she is not naive enough to think it was a bag of seasoning like he did

Hey, and it really is my (adopted) hometown...

and YAY Andy!!!

He was irritated cos he asked for mushrooms.

Dude, like I'll totally deliver your sh*t in like 30 minutes or less, unless I forget or accidently deliver it to a cop or something.

Doobie

and something to munch on

Delivered!!

I live in the wrong town.

-brought to you by the Uberperky Combover Hairflip Gang!

His two year old daughter would have said, "Sonofabitch! I asked for crack!"

It's a scam. You know if you give 'em pot they'll have to call and order more pizza. Then you'll give 'em more pot and they'll have to call and order more pizza. Then, well, you probably get the picture.

And to think we tried to get the pizza delivery dude in my town to stop and grab us a six pack of beer on the way and he refused....

Needless to say, I would have tipped this guy REALLY well. Not that I would ever smoke any illegal substances, but it's the thought that counts.

Maybe this is what the little kid on the AirTran flight needed.

Can't say no pizza?

ah...the neverending munchies...

Maybe he was upset with the quality. If it's not krippie, why bother, ya know?

"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut, may I take your order?"

"Yeah, uh, I want a pizza delivered."

"Okay. What size?"

"Uh, better make it a ginormous."

"And what toppings do you want?"

"Cheetohs and Ring Dings and bacon and syrup."

"Okay, probably about 20 minutes."

Did he call Sgt. Stedenko?

"If it was oregano,man...you could put it in your soup!"

*snork* @ Sgt. Stedenko!

they really brought home the 'good stuff' !
(sorry if blogged before)

hey, what is the problem with this guy? is he never happy. did he get what he ordered? yes! did he get a little something extra? yes! Dominos' is giving away brownie bites with each order, Pizza Hut just gave him a bag of pot. nobody is making him smoke it. Jeez, sounds just like my mother, bitchin' even if they hung her with a new rope.

Actually, this would never work.

*knock knock*

"Hello, this is Dave, I have the pizza you ordered."
"Dave's not here, man."
"No, I'm Dave. I have the pizza you called and ordered."
"Dave's not here, man."

And so on.

"Dave's at the bottom of the pool."

If you give a guy a pizza, he'll probably want some oregano.....

*knock knock*

"Who's there?"
"Pizza."
"'bout time! What, did you have to grow the pot?"

"Here, let me hemp you with that."

"Dude, I said NO seeds, man."

"Thank you for calling 800 Pizza-Hut, do you have a question or comment about one of our stores or delicious offerings?"

"Yeah! I just was eating one of your DeadAnimalLovers Pizzas, and there's something wrong with it!"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure we can send you a coupon."

"A coupon ain't gonna cut it, sister. Spiders are crawling out of the pepperonis, and my grandmother is yelling at me from two of the stuffed crusts, even when I dip them in garlic sauce."

"You're calling from Raonoke, aren't you?"

"You guys are watching me? AAAAAGGGGHHH!"

"Sorry sir. We seem to have delivered Michael Vick's pizza to you by mistake."

"That explains why it started out so delicious but cooled off too fast and ended up leaving a bad taste in my mouth."

"Michael Vick leaves a bad taste in your mouth?"

"Y..no! I...Shut up, Richard."

Getting a little paranoid are we C?

So that's what Michael Vick does during the off season.

Isn't every season a little "off"

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

...'scuse me, I have to get back to ordering pizza...

"Hello? Yeah, I'd like an extra large pepperoni, with your 'special seasoning'..."

One slice makes you larger
And one slice gives you gas
And the ones that they deliver
They come with a bag of grass
Go add olives
On your cheesy mass.

When linguica and pepperoni
Have been spread all o’er the place
And the red sauce oozes slowly
Anywhere it finds some space
Remember
Not to leave a trace
Feed your face
Feed your face
Feed your face.

Wow, C'bol - you're in fine form today! Well done! (and maybe lay off on the...umm...pharmaceuticals)

amen to that, stevie

*holding up lighter*

wow...man

"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. This is Mandy, and nothing brings me more joy than catering to your pleasures for minimum wage. Would you like to try our special?"

"Uh, what is it?"

"It's our deep dish pizza, with hamburger, sausage, bacon, ham, cheddar, swiss, jack, colby, garganzola, brie, pepperoni, porkchops, gristle, and gravy. The crust is stuffed with a patented blend of butter, mayonnaise, and chili."

"Wow."

"Then we roll it, dip it in batter, and flash fry it. It's coated with cream cheese and injected with two quarts of thousand island and ranch dressings, and seasoned with cigars and whiskey, as well as partially hydrogenated cholesterol."

"How much is it?"

"$749.50"

"Yikes!"

"Comes with a bag of dope."

"I'll take it."

lol, c-bol. Extra gristle on my half, please.

When I was in college, I worked at the Domino's just off campus.
Typical call (ISINMTU):
Caller: I'd like to order a pizza.
Me: What size?
Caller: Oh wow - large.
Me: What toppings?
Caller: Mushrooms 'n' pepperoni 'n' mushrooms 'n' onions 'n'... did I already say mushrooms?
Me: Yes, so that will be a large mushroom, pepperoni,& onion. Pick up or delivery?
Caller: Delivery.
Me: What is the address?
Caller: Oh man, where am I?!?

Needless to say, it tried to work the register & not the phones as much as possible.

LOL C-bol ...that sounds pretty disgusting too.

ec - and those delivery customers are todays captains of industry and government. be afraid, be very afraid.

When I was in college, Domino's supplied the delivery cars. The cars where I went to school were purple GMC Pacers.

I think that just qualified me for the Geezer bus.

ec! gf!! where ya been??? I still have your platters - I can go swing by your place if you need 'em!


Well, they'll stone ya when ya call the pizza hut
They'll stone ya til ya fall down on ya butt
They'll stone ya when you order from ya home.
Then they'll stone ya when you're eatin all alone.
But I should not eat this all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone ya when you order a thin crust
They'll stone ya when and they'll tell ya that they must
They'll stone ya til you're layin' on the floor.
They'll stone ya when you're anglin for a score.
But I should not eat this all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

They'll stone ya when you're at the dinner table.
They'll stone ya when you are young and able.
They'll stone ya til ya don't know how to &uck.
They'll stone ya and then they'll say, "good luck."
Tell ya what, I should not eat this all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone you and say that it's the sauce.
Then they'll stone you and think that you're the boss.
They'll stone you when you're goin' a bit too far.
They'll stone you then you're playing air guitar.
Yes, but I should not eat this all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone you're eatin' all alone.
They'll stone you when you order from ya home.
They'll stone you and then say you are their slave.
They'll stone you when you are set down in your grave.
But I should not eat this all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

High-larious, C-bol! Xlnt.

slyeyes, back of the bus for you. I had a lemon yellow AMC Pacer. wish i could say that it brought back fond memories, but, well you know the effect of that special seasoning and short term memory loss.

Mine too was yellow, I'm pretty sure it was the seasoning that made it run into a tree a couple weeks after i got it

*Waves to Sly*

Step right up... your seat is reserved. Right near mine. My first car was a venerable Hornet hatchback named Francine. ;-)

Then again, they could have used Gremlins -- or (shudder) Pintos... or Yugos!

Pacers were kind of cool, tho' they still remind me of a goldfish bowl on wheels...

witchlesa,
Ain't it the truth?!!!!
Quite a few times they really, really didn't know where they were. The driver would come back, saying that he couldn't find the address. That was a good thing, because it meant crew pie!!!

Siouxie, I'll e-mail you.

C-bol: genius!!!

Every time I think that I’m the only one who’s hungry
Something dawns on me
And every now and then I try to limit what I eat
And then fail woefully

Add me some more rosemary

And while you’re at it add some thyme, a little garlic so sublime
And lots of pepperoncinis
And maybe also load on pails of lobster tails and more crustaceans
Go well with the sardines

When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now this doughy crust makes me still want to munch

(I heard the Association's "Along Comes Mary" this morning. Can ya tell?)

Annie - Outstanding reference to the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" books. My oldest four kids have all had those books read to them over and over, and when the youngest one gets a little older (he turns 1 tomorrow), he's gonna hear 'em, too, whether he likes it or not! Anyway, bravo.

Like wow guys, can you keep it down a bit, we're like eating our pizza here man.

Actually I think it would be even better if they cooked the pot INTO the pizza.

I mean, I can only eat so many brownies....

Tangentially off topic:

For anyone feeling nostalgic:

http://www.amcpacer.com/goodies/print.html

Nice photos of lemon yellow Pacers.

My Hornet was lemon yellow, too. Wow, American Motors must have gotten a great deal on that paint color...

My first car was a Chevy Vega. The gas pedal cable broke before I'd had it an hour. I should have given it back. What a piece of crap that car was.

I'll go to the back of the bus now, and sit with Stevie because that was my favorite song back in, what, '66?

Gremlins! They were purple Gremlins, not Pacers. It's been so long ago that I got the two confused.

Both were butt-ugly cars.

Bravo, Stevie W!!!!

Remember the Matador? (Commercial: It's a Matador!! What's a Matador? This is!) We had one the same year my brother-in-law had a Pacer. When we all got together, it was not a scenic view in the driveway.

Dang! there's no more room on the geezer bus, who can we talk to about getting a double decker?

Dang! there's no more room on the geezer bus, who can we talk to about getting a double decker?

Ah! a self simul. There's nothing quite like self-abuse.

I have a friend who had a Pacer™. He left it in the parking lot at a mall with the keys in it for two weeks. Nobody would steal it.

He "worries what would have happened if his two-year-old daughter would have found the bag first"? What does he think she would have packed a bong and smoked it? Like she even would have known what it was. What a NARC!

ubetcha, my first car was an ORANGE Chevy Vega. Needless to say I was proud to drive that to HS! (sure beat getting the bus). It was falling apart since it had been my aunt's car forever and then handed down to my sister for a while. Lucky me!

Okay, geezers. Let's see how advanced the old timers disease is.

My first car was a '69 Datsun 1600 roadster convertible. I still have it.

My first car was a '64 Opel Rekord which my father handed down to me in '69. My first new car was a '72 Datsun 1600 SSS Coupe, complete with vinyl roof and tail lights than ran the full width of the car. Man was she hot, a real babe magnet.

my first car was a 1967 volvo coupe. I loved that car. It was so ugly it was cute, like the VW bugs....

ubetcha and Siouxie,

My brother's first car was a used dark green Vega. He used to call it "Garcia y Vega" after the cigars. Drove it for ages until someone rear-ended it, thankfully at low speed.

Slyeyes: I don't remember the ads for Matadors, but I remember the cars.

I learned to shift on my late Grandmother's Rambler Classic sedan. A stalwart little car. Very reliable, and built like a tank. Ditto for the Hornet.

Can't help but wonder about the name "Gremlin," though. Maybe AMC figured that gremlins only mess up airplanes or something. The idea of a lemon yellow Gremlin is redundantly unfortunate. ;-)

Did you ever notice that yellow cars were few and far between for a couple of decades? The color is back in now with SUVs. I suspect it had something to do with "lemons."

When my son was two, the last thing he'd think of eating would be a bagfull of dried up weeds. This guy's kid must not be the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Stephen, I was thinking the same thing, sort of.

How many parents tell their two year old to answer the door, pay the pizza guy and set everything on the table!!

What a maroon...

So what is the appropriate tip for the pizza delivery at this point?

mm-- What do you mean "was so ugly it was cute, like the VW bugs". Excuse me, bugs are freakin cute, cute, cute. And no offense to the Volvo's-I love them. But hello, the PV544 was a face only a mother could love. (And, incidentally, I love them too).

mm & CH - I luv those old volvos! However, I learned to drive on my grandmother's baby blue Gremlin. It had white racing stripes. My folks let me use it because it was so glaringly ugly, I couldn't hide in it anywhere. Small towns have big mouths, IYKWIM. Even if you don't, they still have big mouths. But I always thought "Nana's Lavender Gremlin" WBAGNFARB.

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