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December 29, 2006

WHILE WE WAIT FOR CORNCAM SEASON

Let's watch cheese!

(Thanks to annette gaudreau)

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First string cheese?

Technology is a blessing for us all!

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your cheese is?

"Cheese the Boss" with Tony Danza and that woman with a Z in her name.

Maybe they'll burn the cheese...

How many disappointed browsers have mistyped "porn cam"?

Judith Light Cheese?

better than cutting it, Hammie...no?

"You realize you're masturbating to corn, right?"

"Yeah. That is one fertile crop right there."

Just for the record:
Thanks to Siouxie for pulling Judi out of the strip club! Otherwise we would not be able to view the wonderful corn and cheese!

LOL Cbol

Judith Light . That's it. Like I said.

C-bol - ha ha ha corn porn, corn pone, cheesecake, etc etc etc.

True, Siouxie. Cheese cutting is an artform best practiced by professionals.

nope, after great deliberation, i've decided i'd rather watch paint dry. or hair grow.

"Honey, turn off the computer and come to bed, why don't you?"

"In a minute. You know, I really think the Hayseeds are using G9176 Fertilizer Management on their no-till corn crop this season...I really do."

"And you ask me why I save the cobs. Whatever, take your time."

WW. Here you go:
http://www.watching-paint-dry.com

http://www.mightymouse.net/album/watchsidshairgrow/

Cheddar? I hardly know her!!

/hubba hubba

cobs...um...a little rough

thanks hammie, since i have no social life, i've now found my new hobby. you are such a life saver.

Oh good. Now I have a plan for New Years Eve.

"No problem, Ma'am."
*Tips hat and rides off into sunset*

Hammie, truly fascinating sites.

*will bookmark those to watch along with the boken*

um...sunset's the other way, Cowboy Ham...

Oh, uh, sorry...

*Need to get a horse with GPS*

"And you say the miracle occurred right around 3:56am?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Please describe it."

"Well, I was watching the mold form there on cheddervision, and suddenly it took the shape of what I imagine a mole on the Virgin Mary's right elbow might have looked like, if she'd had one. A mole that is. I'm sure she had a right elbow. Anyway, then it changed back into just an irregular shape."

"Amazing."

"Yep. And to think I could have missed it if my husband had had his way. He wanted to watch the stupid corncam!"

By the way, I really want to compliment the bot for efficiently verifying my humanity EVERY FREAKING TIME I POST!


That is all.

the bot is aware of all of your nefarious activities hammie, that's why it singles you out. it never bothers me.

Hamm, swettie, the bot checks all links. You're Hammond Rye, which is very close to sausage links.

whoa - 'sweetie', not 'swettie.' I don't know you THAT well!

I wonder when someone will set up a live cam of a pot of boiing water. My grandmother used to say a watched pot never boiled but I've never thought to put it to scienific research.

Hammie, I was FINE this morning till I posted one too close to the other...and BINGO! EVERY FRIKIN TIME HERE TOO!

*wonders if we could get the bot interested in cheese..or paint...or hair*

*Takes deep breath. Mops swett off of forehead.*

Thanks, I feel better now.

"Jake, I just don't know if I'm ready to do that..."

"Awwww, come on Lurlene! Everybody's doing it."

"What if someone saw us?"

"Who's going to see us? We're in the middle of a frikken corn field, for crying out loud!"

"Well...okay."

*two hours later*

"Lurlene! Glad you're finally home! Get in the truck, we gotta go down to the hospital."

"Why?"

"Grandpa passed out! Apparently he was watching his corncam, the way he likes to spend his evenings these days..."

LOL @ Christobol!!

You're on a roll this morning. :)

C'bol - that's known as 'cornication.'

Or, perhaps, 'shucking.'

"You know, honey, I'm really glad we upgraded to dsl. That cheddervision was just killing me on dial-up."

i watched the corn cam but the picture was too grainy...

and wasn't one of the first webcams a pot of coffee, that the programmers down the hall didn't want to get out of their chairs to check?

(yes, check out 'history' here )

Was Jake plowin' the lower forty?

*meanwhile, at Kraft*

"Wilson, you had something you wanted to add to the agenda?"

"Yes sir! I think we should launch a website where people can watch mold grow on our swiss cheese."

"That's the single dumbest idea I've heard all year, and that includes Johnson's plan to run an ad of Britney Spears eating Cheeze-Its while conceiving another child."

"But cheddarvision has been a big hit!"

"Yeah, but that's cheddar. It's the most popular cheese in America. Nobody's going to watch mold grow on swiss."

So apparently now someone does care when jimmy cracks corn.

Scandal Rocks Midwest!

Des Moines, IA - Web surfers all over rural Iowa were shocked to learn that portions of the video they had been avidly viewing, and in many cases, recording, were not from a corn field.

Investigators at Eye-Witness 8 learned that several sequences were, in fact, images of seedling okra. Web masters explained that they had simply been trying to replace "some of the boring parts" of the early corn development, but many feel hurtfully duped.

"I don't think I'll ever watch corncam the same way," said Gene Porknipple, choking back a sob. Then he went back to his favorite daytime hobby of trying to guess the color of the next car to pass his house. He lives on a dead-end farm road, and is still waiting to see whether his guess from April of 1974 was close.

*snorks* @ JD & MrFisher!

um....were we watching mold grow on Twitney?

Annie- on her tulips?

*snork* at Gene Porknipple!

another *snork* @ MrFisher...happy new year to you, sir!

*at corncam hq*

"How'd it go last night?"

"Fine. Those damned aliens came back, but I was able to completely delete all the footage of them forming their stupid crop formations before it streamed out to the web, so viewers weren't interrupted in their corn enjoyment."

"Nice work."

If we put the swiss cheese on the boken...we'll watch.

Annie, Twit's twat hasn't had a chance to grow mold with all that airing it out and stuff.

LOL Cbol & Mr. F.

Ugh. Brain bleach, STAT. Thanks for dragging that stubbly field of nightmares into this conversation, y'all.

Stubbly Field - wasn't he a game show host in the sixties?

(C-bol, again with the hilarity!)

Re: C-bol's "Scandal Rocks Midwest!"

I remember they already made a movie about this.

CapriCORN One.

Har har har har

Poor Gene Porknipple,
you would think he'd learn by now.
Corn don't grow on trees

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