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December 28, 2006



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stevie, you are in no way innocent, and we like you that way.

And by the way, *snork* at "oy vey."

stevie...Err...If I'm gonna be your peer, then you can't be TOO innocent...just sayin'...

Good morning, bloglits! Here I am, all caffeinated and ready to go, and His Daveness is MIA. How long do we have before we have to start checking the strip clubs file a missing-persons report?

Had the weirdest dream last night...

I went to use the toilet, and, after sitting down and grabbing "Things That Probably Aren't True But You're In No Position to Look Up, Volume IV", I noticed a large rat below me in the toilet.

And I thought, "Huh, the wife must have read Dave's blog and thought it would be a funny sort of practical joke to put a fake mechanical rat in the toilet, even though I don't see where she would have gotten one after 11pm and I don't remember her going out or anything."

Then the rat jumped up and grabbed my dangly bits and started to climb out of the toilet, and I became fairly convinced that the movements were too real to be mechanical. Upon consideration, I passed out.

And that's when I had the dream...

/adapted from an emo phillips routine

Good morning peoples!!

LOL stevie...sheesh...you come alive in the middle of the night huh??

El cafe por favor???

*volunteers to look for judi @ Le Bare*

Cbol - Glad you're back! Sorry to hear about the dangly bits.

You must have really pissed off aggravated the wife

KDF, did I thank you for the yummy leftovers? I'm never dining out again - just sending you SASE's.

hooks up siouxies caffeine drip. need help in the judi search? i'll volunteer!

*snork* @ "Upon Consideration. I passed out."

'mornin all

*joins the missing Dave and Judi sentiment*

Is anyone checking the undisclosed locations?

Anybody remember the Fawlty Towers episode where Manuel thought they had put his pet rat Basil in the ratatouille?

Also, Mr Artchick and I were camping once when a fat skunk waddled through our campsite. Moments later we heard a high pitched child's voice from a neighboring campsite," Look, Mommy, a kitty! (pause) AAAGH!" Then the smell came wafting back on the breeze. Wonder if they let junior sleep in the tent that night.

Maybe they went to Sweden to burn down the bocken.

stevie, you are more than welcome to ALL of my leftovers, because the reaction I get here whenever I make something that I think of as especially delicious is invariably "EWWWW.... YUCK!!!"

littleungratefulstinkers, who at this very minute are dropping cracker crumbs and wrappers all over the couch as they whine about all the stuff they DIDN'T get for Christmas

They're so dang cute, though.

kdf, you've got my kids?

Years ago i had raccoons that raided my garbage cans. I finally wound up buying dog food and putting a pan out for them everynight. If I was late they'd come up to the sliding door to the deck and sit there looking in until I brought out the food. Drove the dogs nuts!

I can remember marching in formation on a hot, humid morning in San Antonio when we were approached by a large inquisitive skunk. The commander was less than amused when Sergeant Rye could be clearly heard from the back of the formation calling out, "Here, Kitty, Kitty..."

I think they've gotten roles as extras, filming at

this underclothed location.

"...who at this very minute are dropping cracker crumbs and wrappers all over the couch..."

There's nothing like nice gummy bear or cheez-it that's been aged for 2 or 3 weeks UNDER the couch.

Ya gotta love 'em. Or go to jail.

thanks crossgirl! You can certainly help me look for judi at the male stripjoint dance revue establishment. She's probably doing research.

I used to live in a basement apartment. The living room windows faced the parking lot. A family of racoons started waddling around every night looking for food. It drove my cats crazy....they would bonk their heads on the window trying to get out as they could see the racoons just feet away from them.
It was kinda funny...in a mean sorta way.

I moved right after the masturbating nutjob knocked on my dining room window one night.

Police: Can you describe him at all?
Me: Um....I only saw his dangly bits pressed against my window.
Police: could you tell how tall he was?
Me: *giggles hysterically*
Police: Thank you ma'am. We'll be going now.

YES, crossgirl, and would you PLEASE come and pick them up, already? They're trashing my house!

ohh...thanks fivver for reminding me!

Raccoon update:

The 'coon' carcass is STILL laying on the curb. It's in a much deflated stage and looks like it's melting into the concrete. I'm thinking soon I'll see little bones sticking out of the decaying flesh.

Decaying Coon Carcasses wbagnfa punk b...

anywho...who's hungry for donuts???

Mmmmm... Rotting Raccoon Donuts? I don't know how well that would go with my Kenyan AA.

Sorta OT ... we had dinner last nite @ a restaurant named "The Walrus" ... good great food, and even a large-tusked skull hangin' on the wall ...

Din't see NE oosiks, tho ... and no chance to ask them if they had seen Walter lately ...

Another Toilet-rodent story.

TFC ... (the whole site) ... merely sayin' ...

ya we know about rats/ and bitches that steal undesirving water bags butt/butt i loved my jeannie. booo hooo some body ate my wifes pussy and i think he should die your all american prick and you know it. dr.suess and mr grinch. hope you dont ever go on a suicide mission see ya in miami on the mission field with paula white my favorite athiest christian love at its finest how many rights do you have none in this fuckin life. ill give 5 million reason why i think you desirve death roll. can some body call me a cab.get a fuckin life.

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