WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENT

...if we know what's good for us, and we think we do. Thank you.

(And thanks to Eleanor)

Comments

[Renee (the First)]

FIRST to say, c'mon Dave, don't chicken out on us! We know you're dying to comment! ;-)

[Renee (the First)]

(I actually came over here to remark on that article, since we now get part of our Sunday "Post" a day early. Eleanor, you speed demon!)

[Renee (the First)]

Ah, I posted too soon -- it's Judi who has no comment. So we might possibly still get a comment from His Daveness, perhaps?

And am I talking to myself today? Hello, hello, is this thing on?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Only later did I learn that Capen had been in his office talking to Dave Barry, and had momentarily stepped from the room, unwisely leaving his computer unattended.

*snork* Dave

[fritchbeetle]

i'm so glad i read to the end of the article. what a lovely payoff!

[nora]

excellent! nice work, dave.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Ha! That's great!

[insomniac]

Dear Dr. Friedman,

Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, but I fear my problem has reached new levels. I can no longer restrain my compulsion to post on a certain humor columnists blog, even to the point of ignoring real-life friends, career, and family. Even now, I am composing a post for that blog guaranteed to induce severe hemorrhagic *snorks* (for such is the currency those warped individuals deal in).
As I said earlier, I don't know why I feel the need to impress those losers the other blog posters.
Looking forward to my appointment...

[Jazzzz]

I'm shocked of such goings on!!

[Misterteacher]

[verb] my [noun]

I wonder what that means?
Rotate my tires?
Massage my frankenfurters?
Worship my boogers?

[Jazzzz]

Mr. T...you have just [verb] a can of [noun]

[Renee (the First)]

Considering this is a Dave-related story, Mr. T, I'm putting my money on the third option.

[KDF]

Jazzzz,

Is your proposed [noun]:

1) worms
2) beans
or 3) whoopass?

[CJrun]

Jazzz; noon CST. You can probably see it on tv; it's blacked out in Tampa, so I have a tv reserved at a place with all the food and domestic beer, for 15 bucks!

Go Jags! Kick some Titan's [Noun]!

[Brad]

Re-establish my virginity? That's friggin weird, even for you two.

[Angie]

Heh-heh-heh. Awesome, Dave.

(And even awesomer to Judi for posting it so we could all see.)

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

It was a fun article to begin with, and I read Weingarten every week, but then to get to the end and have a DB
punchline: PRICELESS!

[KDF]

*applauds the SB, The Blog, Mr. Weingarten and Eleanor*

W00T!!!

[Jazzzz]

KDF.....yes

CJ ... the local Arkansas stations cover the Jags like kudzu on Dixie, all because of Matt. It's Jacksonville North up here. I'll bet we get it on the television box.............Go Jags

[Lairbo]

I've heard a new term -- Nano Oh-No -- used to describe that horrifying moment when you've already hit the "send" button and realize you've sent an email to the wrong person/place and/or it contains some highly inappropriate combination of verbs and nouns.

And, yeah, way to go Dave!

[Beppie]

Apparently Dave has some good dirt on him, seeing as how he still works here! Or maybe , perhaps, that was right around the time Dave "took time off" from his weekly columns.

[DaveM_VA]

Chuckle pants. 'nuf said.

[Alfred]

Suck My Goat?

Eat My Cheese?

Come To My House?

Lay My Wreath?

Which one was it?

[Kristina L.]

Reminds me of the chuckletrousers post. I was in college, on the Dave Barry listserv at the time.

I like the boogers one, MisterTeacher. :)

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Dave--If this gets out, it could end your career in politics.

[Guin]

Meet my goldfish?
Sniff my socks?
Incinerate my goat?

[CJrun]

*snork*

For noobies, like me, chuckletrousers.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Dave, Kindly tell Mr. Darcys of CJun's link to ditch that piano.

[tonymus]

Burn my goat...

[Kafaleni]

Iron my underpants?

Blow my trombone?

[Nebbisk]

**

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Write my column!"

Congrats to El for not only getting posted, but reminding me how funny a writer Weingarten is. But Dave, of course, has nicer hair. Which is what gave him just enough of an edge to win the Pulitzer Prize.

[OtheU(manity)]

That usage sorta reminds me of a former event where the catchline wuz

You [ILLEGAL] [OBSCENITY]!!! I [DELETE] all over your [CENSORED]!!!

I fergit where I first noticed that ... prolly a good thing, eh?

[ubetcha]

OT/
I just watched "Finding Nemo" for the first time and NOW I get, "Oh look, something shiny!"

I should watch more movies.

[marina_like_a_boatdock]

Dave Barry, man, Dave Barry. The neatest, coolest guy! Unreal fun. And Insomniac hit it exactly, thanks!

Love you all,
grammaw

[CJrun]

OT

Slogging through my first, beginning to end, of 'It's a Wonderful Life.' Now I know where 'see ya in the funnypapers' came from.

[AFKAT]

In honour of this latest revalation, I am directing my daughter to name her next offspring "Dave Barry *****""

*snif"

Oh and by the way Your Blogness, we're kinda counting on some child support from you as well...not that we need it, but it would be a nice gesture....

[Stevie W]

I wonder what else Dave did in the boss' office while Mr. Big stepped out.

[Annie Where-but-here]

If Dave Barry falls in the forest, but there's no one there to hear him, is he still funny?

[ScottMGS]

Speaking of non-sequitors, somebody in Gavle wanted to get on the internet. I caught him (and/or her) talking to his (or her) buddies to see if they'd showed up.

[ScottMGS]

Oh, by the way, if you haven't guessed I have no life. 8-)

[OtheU(manity)]

Well, Scott ... ya know whut they say about Life ...

[ScottMGS]

Well, I know what Marvin in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy says: "Life, don't talk to be about life."

[AlanBoss]

"Life? Don't tell ME about life."

[ScottMGS]

Yeah, that. Thanks, AB. 'Night all.

[OtheU(manity)]

Life

Ferret Snot!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

*Turns on coffee pot
*Sets out baygulls and donuts
*Wanders off with a Boston Cream

[Edgar Greenberg]

Anyone have access to a attack helicopter and a TOW-2? We'll get another go at the goat.

[crossgirl]

mmmmmmmmmmm donuts. thanks chris! i just melted the cookie cake that i got for my littlest's birthday. seems you can't preheat an oven for cinnamon rolls if you've got a cardboard box full of frosted cookie in it. what's that smell?

[Siouxie]

Good morning all!! (all being Chris & crossgirl)

Yummmm Chris..thanks!

LTTG but this was a classic Dave story...what a guy!

insom - [verb] my [noun](and it's not pick my nose.

Scott- you HAVE a life! same one we all do...it's all HERE...sheesh.

[Siouxie]

whoops..and Edgar!! mornin'

[Daniel Frazier]

Gee CG.... you seemed like a CROSSant girl to me. *groans at own bad pun*

[Siouxie]

oh and YAY to El!!

[queensbee]

kiss my goat?
kill my squirrrels?
find my snake?
heeeeeheee. good going dave..

[Siouxie]

who can this Daniel guy be??? hmmm???

*groan*

[Edgar Greenberg]

Or Cross-bun Girl, but we shouldn't encourage him.

[Jazzzz]

OK CG....Like you don't already know....It's Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! I can't seem to get this "Daniel" idiot off of my computer. what a dork

[Edgar Greenberg]

Looks like someone has issues.

[Elon Weintraub]

Yeah Edgar!

[Siouxie]

*ahem*

wake up huh???

*I* asked...not cg

[Renee (the First)]

Still no word from The Blog? Come on, Your Daveness, get in here and accept your applause! We're so proud of you!

[Jazzzz]

See Siouxie ??? I'm telling you, that guy is a moron!! Godd morning all. *picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue*

[Jazzzz]

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu GoOd morning....sorry God

[Siouxie]

*gives Jazzzzie a stick of Elmer's*

[Jazzzz]

*SNIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFF*......thankee, sweet Sioux

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

This is why I love Siouxie - she's always ready to help a blogit! Whatever they need, right Siouxie? ;)

[Siouxie]

El, I try :)

[Siouxie]

Well I'm off to continue my Christmas shopping...

1) credit cards? CHECK!
2) running shoes? CHECK!
3) gumballs? CHECK!
4) machete? CHECK!

ready to brave the mall.

[ubetcha]

Morning all. My stockings are decked, my halls are hung, and I'm partied out. Now I just have to get around 15 more gifts and I can put this all behind me.

Seriously, the bocken has got to get torched or my Christmas just won't be merry. There must be something blurk can do, warrior that he is.

[ubetcha]

Siouxie - God bless you. I cannot go to a mall, especially this time of year. There would be carnage. Gift cards and the almighty web are the only answers.

[CJrun]

I am soooo pathetic, that I am watching the Jags/ Titans game on this tv in a sports bar, with the wireless laptop for listening to the broadcast over the net. Yay ridiculous fans! Yay $15 for all the beer and food you can consume!

[Eleanor]

The only game they're showing here in San Diego this morning is Redskins/Saints.
*yawn*

[CJrun]

El, I'm not looking forward to seeing San Diego. They're too good this year!

[Cheri "I wanna have Tom Brady's babies" Poo]

Pats are kickin' Texan ass!

That is all.

[crossgirl]

$14 for all the beer and food?! send me the coordinates cj, i'm on my way!!

helpful tip for all bloglits. if you put a cake in the oven so the dog won't eat it. and then you turn the oven on and accidentally rebake the cake, the dog will still eat it if you go to church and leave it smoldering on the countertop. if anyone needs me, i'll be mopping icing off the floor.

[crossgirl]

which by the way is still way better than risking the mall.

[CJrun]

My Jags, one of the top rushing teams in the NFL, have thrown 3 completions to the other team, each run back for a touchdown! I am in AGONY! Fortunately, there is LOTS of beer!

[Eleanor]

My sympathies, CJ. :(

I have Fred Taylor on my Fantasy Football team, and he's out of the game, so to some degree I feel your pain.

But my Chargers ROCK! This is such a fun season for us. The sports reporters and powers that be usually give short shrift to all Left Coast teams, but this season we are the talk of the football world, mostly thanks to L.T., who I am also fortunate enough to have on my FF team.

YAY!

[ubetcha]

Pats kicked it old school. Unfortunately, the Jets are doing the same.

Question: When did the Oilers become Texas? I think my brain cells are vodka soaked or something. I swear I never heard of "Texas."

I will not put the Napolean XIV earwig upon you, but it's suddenly running through my head.

[ubetcha]

Also, is there a geek in the house that knows anything about Java? Mine has sh!t the bed and I can't get on Pogo, which is my other life. I am not happy. I've reinstalled Java it 3 times but Pogo still won't run. I've done everything the Java help section said to do, but to no avail.

WAAAAAAAHH!

[crossgirl]

java is, i believe, coffee and isn't pogo one of our bloglits? he'd probably run if you spilled java on him.

[Meditrina]

Ubetcha - Are you talking about french roast or columbian Java? Do you prefer soy or cream? Whip or No Whip?

Or Perhaps you are already Whipped! :)

[Meditrina]

CG - Great minds!

[crossgirl]

good thing he's got us to help, med!

[crossgirl]

ohmigawd the bucs are tied in ot!!!

[crossgirl]

never mind. as you were.

[insomniac]

insom - [verb] my [noun](and it's not pick my nose.

fondle my bum?

[Stev0]

I GOT YOUR (very bad word) POST! ON THE INTERNET! WITH MY COMPUTER! Which is not like yours at ALL. Mine is JEWISH. And if that BOTHERS YOU, Mr. Chuckletrousers, then you will just have to accept that THIS IS THE NEW (very bad word) WORLD ORDER IN WHICH WE LIVE IN.
 
I really like the Bargewater book.
 

[ubetcha]

LOL insom - I love Python more than Pogo. My favorite sketch was a soccer match held between the Bournemouth Gynecologists and the Watford Long John Silver Impersonators. I saw it about a million years ago after a long day (with my friend in my Wyo photo) after we delivered nasty pastry to machines all the way from mid-CT to JFK airport. After 12 hours delivering vending machine pastry (which you should NEVER eat) we landed in a tiny bar and insisted they change the channel on the TV so we could watch Monty Python and that sketch came on. We damn near died and I've never seen it since. I would kill to get a clip of that.

If pogo can fix my Pogo/Java problem, I'll be his slave forever. And I am a good slave.

[Mo Faux*]

Good one~!

[Megan]

"[verb] my [noun]"

Light my fire

[CJrun]

Aghghghhh! Three interceptions run back for touchdowns. My Jags and I are humble. I am sad. My Jags have to beat Punkin's Pats, then KC at home, or we are toast!

Toast, toast, toast, toast [to a Python anthem] toast!

[crossgirl]

ok. i need to quit drinking. after allison's verb/noun thing, i read that cj had three interjections running for touchbacks. Oh! My! Gosh!

[CJrun]

But don't my boobs look amazing?!

[CJrun]

For the record, I no longer have to worry about posting questionable words to get past the 'Bot.' Now, everytime I post, it informs me that my computer is on a server that is the sp@minator. So, apparently, spammers use wireless. On the other hand, with impunity, I can say 'sp@m, sp@m, sp@m, sp@m, vi@gra, c@sino, p3nis enl@rgement,' with no additional penalty. Can't get past the bot with Mary Poppins, now!

Apparently, I was wrong. Not only can I not post normally, I can't post the above without the bot picking me up and dusting me off. There is worse than the Bot; there is, 'you were very bad'.

[Meditrina]

CJ - Your boobs do look amazing! But that outfit makes your butt look big.

Must be all that sp@m you have been digesting. ;)

[CJrun]

Back on, 'cause I'm trying to figure out how this wireless works! Everytime I let the computer sit idle, it drops off, but it never comes back up! I am finding that I have to restart the whole computer, if I want to recieve an email, send one, or refresh a page. Anybody that knows about this wireless stuff, please drop me a line. I'm a baby snake in a bloglit butt!

[OtheU(manity)]

CJ' - cye ...

[Siouxie]

*wipes machete with bleach*

Well i'm back from shopping and I must say I survived...not sure about some other people that got in my way.

[Siouxie]

CJ, I have wireless and I don't have that problem. It's always ON. Hope that helps ;-)