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December 20, 2006

THE NATIONWIDE CRIME WAVE GROWS WIDER

"Sword-Wielding Santa Vandals" would be a bad name for a rock band.

Related story here, featuring hardcore video of Frosty, Pooh and, yes, Tigger.

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The toy soldier needs more training in hand-to-hand combat.

This story would have been WAY better with pictures.

I know that you may not like them, but isn't a sword getting a little carried away. Knives work just fine.

If manufacturers equip their decorations with squid-inspired vortex generators, will Santa be able to take evasive action?

OK, I really read the article now and I am still laughing that they were caught because they had a flat tire.

Instant karma, anyone?

in the related story, why did the passenger have Frosty in his lap? exactly what was said passenger doing to poor ol' Frosty? is this in any way related to the premarital sex story in the previous link?

1) They should hand Michael from a pear tree.

2) If your decorating attire involves shorts and no shoes, you do NOT get to have a Frosty decoration.

hand = hang

In the second story, I think it IS pretty funny that one of the suspects last name is "partridge". And in the commercial at the beginning of the story, the bag boy from Kroger wishes Hispanic people Feliz Navidad. Isn't that like saying "Merry Christmas"? I'm offended. Can we sue Kroger now? :)

Frosty Pooh... isn't that an illness only experience by eskimos? Just sayin'

surreptitiously sneaking back to add a 'd' to the experience

They're bouncy, flouncy, trouncy, pouncy,
fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!

Why do I get the feeling that the sound effects for the decoration assault were like "hi-YA! HYAAAAHH! Take that! And THAT!"

It would be way more fun to stab these things if they flew around like a balloon and made that raspberry sound instead of falling flat on the ground like a heap of dirty clothes.

"If your decorating attire involves shorts and no shoes, you do NOT get to have a Frosty decoration."

Ah, c'mon, give 'em a break; Friendswood is in Texas, for crying out loud. By that set of rules, the only thing we'd be able to display down here would be palm trees...

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