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December 15, 2006

TEACHER OF THE MONTH SO FAR

(Thanks to CoastRaven)

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I know that telling boys to pee in bottles is inappropriate cuz the boys cant hit a big ole toilet without spraying the walls let alone the tiny opening of a bottle.

And let me be the FIRST to say


HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

i'm sure the boys weren't complaining. experience tells me that boys like to pee everywhere except the toilet.

My dad attended a rural one-room schoolhouse in the late '30's. He told us a story about when he was 10 or so, some of the older boys thought it would be funny to pee into mason jars and store them in the cubbyhole in the corner of the cloakroom. He said that after a week of this, the teacher came out of the cloakroom with a puzzled look on her face, sniffed the air, and then went back in. A few minutes later, they heard "My good lord!!" She re-emerged from the cloakroom, and leaned against a wall. "BOYS! What? Why?" And that's all he remembers. Or is telling.

He said when he was young he was puzzled that she immediately knew it was the boys. When he grew up, he realized, OF COURSE she knew it was the boys.

As long as 8th grade boys are faced with peeing in public in front of 8th grade girls there will be prayer in public schools

Having no escorts to carry these kids to the restroom seems to fly in the face of "No Child Left Behind".

Having once been an 8th-grade boy, I can sefely say that I would not have complained about this.

On a related note, The Dread Midget is capable of and willing to refill soda bottles if the need arises while we are on long car trips.

Can anyone explain why 13 year olds need an escort to go to the bathroom? I used to ride the subway when I was 13. Come to think of it, the two smell similar.

What, pray tell, would have been the prescription if the lads had to do #2?

Katie,

My thoughts exactly. Why would they need an escort to the bathroom. Idiotic rule!

Send 'em outside, behind a tree. Saves the bathrooms, and I'm sure the boys won't complain.

The tree, however, might.

If, per the article, the purpose of the escort is to make sure they don't pee in "inappropriate places" wouldn't it be more efficient just to have a single qualified pee monitor? ... Hey wait! K-Fed might be available after the Christmas break

Reminds me of that old Jim Croce song:

If I could save pee
In a bottle
The first thing that I'd
Wanna do...

Katie and Mikey,
Could it be the escort rule came about because said 13yo boys couldn't be trusted to go to the bathroom without pi$$ing on the walls or tearing the bathroom apart?
You ask those questions like these boys are just innocent little angels who would never think of doing anything they shouldn't be doing.
I doubt very seriously that some administrator woke up one morning and said, "hey, I think I'll require bathroom escorts now."

Lairbo..been looping that ever since I started reading this thread:)

bringing back bad memories for ya, blurk?

Lairbo, thank you for that lovely earworm...

no, really.

This story sounds exactly like Junior High to me. Stupid power plays. Lots of hazing. Hateful.

Just like I remember it.

btw, may I just say that I am finally posting from work without the use of the super secret sneaky browser thingy.

Therefore, my \\\'s will not be flopping & showing anymore. Unless it's hot.

Damn.

Actually, no, crossgirl.
Back when I was in junior high, young boys could actuallly be TRUSTED to go to the bathroom alone. I didn't mean to rant, but it's just not that way anymore.

I've got an even better idea! Instead of mollycoddling the little monsters who destroy school facilities, and imposing sweeping penalties on the whole group (a favorite tactic in breaking down the individuality of kids), how about throwing the vandals out of school so hard that they bounce?

When the parents come to wah-wah to the administrators, calmly tell 'em that if they'd raised their kids to know that smashing toilets they do not own is unacceptable, the problem wouldn't exist. Of course, now they have the opportunity to try again to raise their demon-spawn progeny.

As it is, schools have become daycare centers where we warehouse any and all kids so that their parents can have their daytime free. We expect schools to instill values and morals into our kids, then complain when they choose values and morals we disagree with.

Feh. This is part of the reason that I homeschool. Okay, I'll take my gumball now and shut up.

And Blurk: Right on. A few bad apples.......

*passes out gumballs to blurk & CH*

*takes one herself cuz I totally agree*

*gulp*

CH - Right on to you too. Hope the gumball helps.

puts cherry bombs back in pocket and sidles away from the bathroom. la la la la la

Schools do like to punish everyone. Back when I was in grade school, when the school bully beat someone up, the bully, the victim, and whoever told the teacher all got detentions. After one fight in 8th grade between four or five boys, all boys got their recess revoked for three weeks.

Siouxie, no \\\s?
Awww...

*takes out the "board" of education cause this is the way it was done in my day*

Come here, crossgirl.

And you have to at least pretend that you don't like it.

sorry, Ham ...\\\'s all covered today ;-)

blurk, when I was in school the principal always had his "paddle" and although I was never subjected to it's whack I heard it did wonders for reforming juvenile delinquents.

Lairbo: It would go something like this

If I could save pee in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to pee every day
Til Eternity passes away
Just to pee them with you

If I could make pee last forever
If pee could make wishes come true
I'd save every pee like a treasure and then,
Again, I would pee them with you

CHORUS:
But there never seems to be enough pee
To pee the things you want to pee
Once you find them
I've peed around enough to know
That you're the one I want to pee
Through Time with

If I had a bottle just for peeing
And dreams that had never come true
The bottle would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were peed on by you

Apologies all around.

ClnHnds: If we mollycoddle them they'll become scamps and ragamuffins, which could lead to hijinks.

Yeah, Siouxie, it did wonders. And I was happy to get the whacks from the principal. The alternative would have been for him to call dad. If he would've done that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alive today.

*will be right back...after reading Ham's rendition of Pee in a Bottle, I suddenly have the urge to tinkle*

HmmndRy: Nice work! In honor of your fine lyricism, I'm having your namesake sandwich for lunch today. I'm not sure what drink I'll get to go with it, but I'll make sure it's yellow and in a bottle.

Exactly, CH. It was pretty much impossible to get kicked out of the school I taught at, and I've never seen another school like it. I remember when I was in junior high, some guy brought a big (not pocket) knife-didn't use it, just brought it--and we never saw him again (After a really long time in alternative school he could have come back, but he went somewhere else.) Where I taught, however, a seventh grader pulled a knife on a student IN CLASS and was back within two weeks. The man who taught that class died within a year, and I'm sure the stress didn't help. *can hardly chew for all the gumballs I've shoved in my mouth*

oh blurk, please don't spank me with your big hard paddle.

seriously, at my son's school they have a waiver you can sign to let them beat, err spank, your kid. believe me, i signed.

can we have a blog paddle for when we misbehave??

*volunteers to be the whacker*

he he he

*volunteers to be the whacker*

he he he

Posted by: Siouxie | 11:17 AM on December 15, 2006

If I weren't so pure and all, I might just take that the wrong way.

whoops...that could be misinterpreted huh??

oh and blurk...sweetie...you're as pure as I.

blog paddle? i prefer a whip.

Jeebus.

Between the hot wax and the paddle, Siouxie, one might mistake you for something from one of DP Chris' ambiguously-labeled links.

NTTAWWT.

*backing away gingerly*

Don't forget crossgirl and her whip, CH!

*Whip*
*whack*
*RRRRIIIPPP*

Siouxie's House of Torture

Hey blurk I bet you walked to school barefoot, through snow, uphill both ways too.

Err, Siouxie, is there a list of services or something available?

Careful, Hammy. You might get more than you bargain for.

huh?? I'll be gentle...really.

*eg*

*figured that would scare the men away*

HA!

Oh yeah?

Ham, I'm always gentle...ask CH and blurk.

they're just now starting to walk normal. but the waxing's an improvement.

*Curls into fetal position*

The pain of the waxing was not as bad as you might think -- it was over pretty quickly, truth be told. (Well, blurk had to draw his out with a high-speed aerial chase, but that's another story.)

It's the itching that's killing me now. How about you, blurk?

CH, I've told you..talcum powder works great on the itching in the bikini area stubble...or so I've heard.

Somebody get a gumball ready:

because of the state of our public schools in klumbus ahia i sent my kids to private school for grades k-8 which went i had to pay double because i wanted my kids to actually receive an education and not merely learn how to roll a doobie and turn tricks so don't get me started on THAT subject so when my oldest got to ninth grade we sent her to a public high school which worked about as well as the hindenberg - some of her classes were 70 - 80 students and one "teacher" - talk about your human warehouse - and then i find out that my daughter couldn't use the restrooms there because other folk's little darlin's had claimed the restrooms as "gang turf" and used them between classes to consume drugs so i get a wild hair as you can imagine and go meet with the principal and tell her "my daughter tells me that she can't use the toilets here because thugs have taken over the restrooms" to which she told me that she was powerless to do anything about it, and that she prefered the term "students" to "thugs" really this conversation went on for a half an hour and her bottom line response was "too bad, go pound it" so i did needless to say my daughter no longer goes to that school yet i still am supporting it with my tax dollars THANK YOU VERY MUCH AUGGGHHH!!

oh, i see that i forgot to mention that if my daughter would have tried to use the restrooms, she would have been beaten.

Mud--That's awful. It amazes me that the school staff can't do anything about the situation. I know it must have been very upsetting, and I would have done the same thing you did. In any case, I want you to know that I feel your pain (even though I don't have children), and that my empathy is in no way diminished by my *snorking* @ "klumbus ahia." ;-)

Some of these posts remind me of times when I wuz:

1. In grade school ...

2. In Jr. Hi ...

3. In HS ...

4. Teaching (?) ...

5. There is no number 5 ...

Nevermind whut it reminds me of ... best not spoken of ...

OTOH ...

If Siouxie is gonna volunteer to be the Whacker, who's gonna volunteer to be the Whackee ... um ... the line forms after me ... loooooong after ...

Sittin in class at Salisibury School
I could see the bathroom light
Had to go, time stood still
Told the teacher of my plight
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
"No escort there, you have no choice"
I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My bladder goin' boom boom boom
"Son," he said, "grab this bottle
it's your urinal for now."

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