IF THIS DOESN'T WORK, THEN NOTHING WILL

Comments

[Chaz]

first.....

[crossgirl]

second. and yet, nothing to say.

[ShadowKatmandu]

Ah, now something for us to all Associate with and not have to worry about being Social. I bet this article is really gonna get somebody's goat.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Not to be confused with the Goat BURNERS Association.

[sthnbelle]

Of which we're all wanna-be members, huh, Annie?

[Cheryl Howard]

Hmm, I wonder if the goats know how to sled?

[Capt. Pike]

If they really wanted to make a statement, they would have opted for "The Democratic Party" instead.

[Jollymon]

JIS News?

Sounds like it would be directed more toward the porn industry.

[Psycho Joe]

Goat breeders?
Isn't their job pretty easy?
You know...
Get 2 goats of the opposite sex, leave em' outside in the grass, watch the goatfun?
Or is it more complicated that that?

[Casey J.]

How exactly do people stumble upon these articles? Does one just happen to be researching Goat coalitions and find this gem?

[Clean Hands]

Just so long as they're not spray-painting the goats' nads in the process, the activities of the GBA will be condoned.

I'm starting to think that maybe the bocken's butt should be spray-painted gold, though. That would teach 'em to get all high and mighty about their flamskyddsmedlet.

[Psycho Joe]

I just tried to read this article when i came upon the words "artificial insemination"
Yuck. Can't we at least give them the dignity of handling that part the old fashioned way?
They're goats, i think they can handle it.

Uhhhhhhh. Sick.
8>

[casey]

Having kept goats in my youth, I know that a male goat will hump anything in sight. They definately do not need an association to help with that. Male goats also pee into their beards, NTTAWWT.

[Clark Kent]

The key to successful goat breeding is in the proper use of romantic lighting and music. I've found that a lava lamp and Barry White's greatest hits are particularly effective.

But some prefer black light and Radiohead. It's a close call.....

[baligurl]

"Male goats also pee into their beards, NTTAWWT."

Wait. What?

[casey]

Clark, some like to be tied up with their butts painted orange, as pointed out above. Frilly pink negligees also help.

[Clean Hands]

How about Barry Manilow? Does that make goats want to breed more? Or does it cause them to find a cliff to fling themselves over?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sheesh - you buncha city slickers. It's not the corner bar, ya know. You gotta put the right ram with the right dam.

why does everything I write on this blog sound so darn kinky?

[casey]

Yes Bali, it's a fact. They lower their heads and pee between their front legs onto their beards. The males that my family kept were generally aggressive and stunk to high heaven. We didn't keep the males long. We did keep a female for milking and her female kid. The mom died fairly early but the baby lived for about 12 years. She was a sweetie pie.

[casey]

AWBH, gives new meaning to Rama Dama Ding Dong.

[Sarah J]

not really on topic, but oh well: My aunt's family belonged to a goat exchange program. They raised goats and exchanged them with another family so they didn't kill and eat the same goats their kids had raised.

[Hammond Rye]

"The males that my family kept were generally aggressive and stunk to high heaven."

Casey, don't leave them lines like that just lying around.

[Clean Hands]

Whoa. I coulda gone a lot longer without knowing that about goat beards.

Sure throws the bocken's beard into a different light.

[xmnr]

I'm glad to see that Derrick Vermont is in charge now. Derrick New Hampshire wasn't worth squat.

[Annie Where-but-here]

And you wonder why they use artificial insemination. Just remember guys, if you stink bad enough, you can be replaced.

[insomniac]

...and Small Ruminant Cluster wbanfarb...

glad to see Mr. Vermont has moved on since his humiliating loss in the 'Mr. U.S.A.' pageant, but the judges didn't think 'goat inseminating' was a talent...

[Clean Hands]

Sarah J, that's a brilliant idea! I've been toying with the idea of keeping goats (I have a blackberry problem), but Mrs. H. has firmly stated that she will not let me slaughter a goat she's known as a youngster and feed it to the family for reasons of "cuteness." (Feh.)

Since I am not much of a fan of keeping food animals as pets, we have been at an impasse. But I will suggest this, and see if I can't get that ravine cleared this spring!

[baligurl]

Caesy, I have trouble staying in position to polish my toenails. Them's some limber goats. Guess I'll keep making those pedicure appts...

[Hammond Rye]

*Writes note to self: Stop peeing in beard*

Got it!

[Clean Hands]

*snork* @ AWbh.

At least I never peed on my beard. ("Why do goats pee on their beards? Because they can!")

[Psycho Joe]

I'm going to start the association for the natural fornication of goats.
To hell with artificial insemination.
It may work fine for some people, but goats?
That's just inhumane. A little goatsex is all the fun a goat is gonna get to have in their life.
I mean seriously, especially farm bred goats.
They have a full life with just some grass and fornication. And that's all they get. Why would we take this away from them?
Is it because they pee on their beards?
That's a bit predjudice, isn't it?

What the heck am I talking about?
This is sick.

Nuff said.

[Brad]

That's funny Sarah. My family and our neighbors growing up did the same thing with our dogs.

[Annie Where-but-here]

*throws coal @ Brad*

[crossgirl]

clean! goats are not food animals. they are living lawn ornaments and weedeaters. there, does that make it better?

[Clean Hands]

"Living. Lawn. Ornaments?"

No. They're food. I have a lot of recipes. And I didn't even have to Google for them.

[BigD®]

Clean, there is a house with a steep ravine near me and if it weren't for their goats, I have no clue as to how they would keep it weed free. Figure a slope like this "/". You wouldn't catch me trying to weed eat it.

[Clean Hands]

Yeah, now imagine that that ravine is covered in giant, man-eating blackberry brambles. I'm not kidding.

I may need a bigger goat.

[Clean Hands]

Delayed response to casey's post about goat beards.

[BigD®]

I hate blackberry. When we moved in our back slope (not ravine) was covered. It took me years, and major loss of blood, to finally eradicate it.

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

CH - you have to keep some of the brambles, to get the berries to make blackberry wine to marinade the goat meat in.

[Clean Hands]

I made blackberry wine once. By accident. I was trying to make blackberry soda, but it took off on its own. When I went to check the pressure in the keg, I got a shower I won't soon forget.

Strangely, this has happened to me with a number of homemade beverages.

[Layzeeboy]

I have a blackberry problem too. I keep checking my email every 2 minutes. Not sure how a goat would help me out with that though.

[mud's butt snake]

"we are setting up ourselves in a way that we can attract grant funding and also be more up front with what we are doing,"

Y'all are goat breeders, whadaya mean "be more up front"? What so esoteric about breeding goats? Unless... oh. You do that and you want paid for it?

[Betsy]

"We are setting up ourselves in a way that we can attract grant funding and also be more up front with what we are doing," he said.

I dunno..."Goat Breeders" sounds pretty upfront to me, unless they aren't telling the whole story. (Or does "up front" refer to goatly urination habits???)

[Clean Hands]

Layzee, any self-respecting goat would be happy to eat your blackberry for you. Either sort.

Your e-mail correspondents might be puzzled by some of the results, though, particularly if your blackberry had a built-in camera.

[Sarah J]

CH- if you don't want to actually own the goats, you could try a goat rental place. When my aunt did the exchange thing she lived near Portland, OR, but I wouldn't know how to find out what the program was called.

[Clean Hands]

Well, since I'm just outside of Portland myself, that would be ideal. I'll see what I can find. Thanks for the tip!!

[crossgirl]

there will be no tipping of goats mr. hand.

[Clean Hands]

Oh, c'mon. It's all fun & games 'til somebody's beard gets wet...

[Glix]

1. Casey--At first I read your much earlier post as saying that you "kept goats in your mouth". I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around that idea.

2. What with the secondary (Christmas) turkey-time coming and all, here's a factoid for you: Commercially raised turkeys *MUST* be artificially inseminated. Because of the extra-hefty build they've acquired, well, it's just not possible.

3. Seconding, thirding, or fourthing the sentiment that male goats REEK, although until today, I didn't know half the story.

[OtheU(manity)]

She was a sweetie pie.

Posted by: casey | 01:58 PM on December 19, 2006

... um ... casey ... I think you put too much sugar in the recipe ...

(Obscure reference to rhubarb thread discussion of tartness [not tartiness] ...)