EXCUSE ADVISORY

I apologize for the lack of posting, but this morning I gave a commencement address at the University of Miami. Among those at the ceremony were UM graduate Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, a funny and extremely large man. I discovered that every time I mentioned him in my speech, the crowd would cheer. So whenever there was a lull, I'd just turn to him and go, "The Rock!" And there would be cheering. To his great credit, he did not pick me up by my neck and shake me like a large robe-wearing maraca.

Comments

[queensbee]

and what was your advice to the lucky grads?? who the heck graduates in december??

[Siouxie]

WOOO HOOO! I love The Rock! he can pick me up and shake my \\\\\\\'s ANYTIME!!!

[jon]

Guards my maracas carefully from large men... .

[Tim]

How's about a copy of the speech!! I'd love to hear what sage advice The Blog gave to the graduates!

[Jessica R.]

What lucky grads, The Rock and Dave at their graduation. When I graduated from college, the keynote speaker was the college President. Thrilling? Oh, it was!

[insomniac]

good for you speaking at the u.m. december ceremony... at the may ceremony (outdoors) i was at, it was so warm people were melting into over-educated puddles of protoplasm.

[Laurie]

He can't live off the Royalties? He had to go to college? Sheesh...fame ain't all it's cracked up to be...

[Steve (The 24 guy)]

People in Miami graduate whenever they feel like the should. I believe this is the time of year that there aren't actually any parties going on (they're just between them), so they decided to graduate as an excuse for a party. That's the way it works down there.

Like the old Florida tourism slogan goes, "The rules are different here". It's like the leaves changing everywhere else in the country. Down there, the license plate colors change. Like I said, different rules.

[Clean Hands]

I'll just observe that Overeducated Puddles of Protoplasm WBA truly excellent NFARG.

[judi]

who's the rock?

[casey]

Other names The Rock has been known by:

Flex Kavana
Pidlaoan Rock
Rocky Maivia

Who knew? Pidlaoan Rock sounds like some type of rarely photographed Polynesian rodent sub-species. No offense Rock. No really, no offense.

OK OK I'M SORRY I TAKE IT BACK AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[Steve (The 24 guy)]

Judi,

He's a very large man that wears very small pants.

[Siouxie]

judi judi judi

surely you jest!

[Siouxie]

*wonders if there are any crap cam photos of The Blog AND The Rock wearing those robes*

[southerngirl]

*joins judi on the clueless couch*

[Chaz]

I thought Dave's nickname was The Rock?

the rock is actually not that bad an actor...

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Dang when I graduated from UM we had some crummy senator. And as Insom said it was may and we were wearing solar panels on our heads so the graduation quickly turned to woodstock with people stripping and jumping into the fountains. Even the cuban protesters who showed up wherever TV cameras were jumped into the water.

Insom I hear UM spoils them with indoor graduations these days.

[Siouxie]

they have a brand new convocation center at UM now for all their functions...graduations...concerts.

[TCK]

judi - didja ever see that movie "the mummy returns"?

the rock was the scorpion king

[Layzeeboy]

Dave, very cool. I graduated 4 times and never had a cool speaker. I hope you reminded them that now that they can read you have a book for sale.

[Layzeeboy]

Ugh, another day of combatting malicious comment posting by scripts. I feel like some sort of cyber-superhero.

[casey]

I thought the Scorpion King was a popular singer that died or sumpin.

I'm so confuzzled.

[pogo]

Hmmmm. I graduated twice. I don't remember what boring dignitary spoke at the first one. So I didn't go to the second one.

[Ladderless]

Steve-

Was that link to a photo of The Rock, or has Rob Schneider been working out?

[baligurl]

Hey, Siouxie, I'm with you on The Rock!! Judi, he was in the latest film version of "Walking Tall", also "The Rundown", and this past summer "Gridiron Gang". He is really funny, and a very nice man. Wow, Dave and The Rock in the same room = perfection.

[Siouxie]

Layzee and he had a spin-off movie of his own...cleverly titled \"The Scorpion King\".

[Siouxie]

and did I mention that he is TOTALLY HOT?????

[baligurl]

And, can I just say, I HATE the stupid bot. *packs up keyboard and goes to lunch in a snit*

[Casey J.]

Just out of curiosity, DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?!

[Siouxie]

bali, I drool every time I see him in a movie...

*drools a bit*

[Nebbisk]

*snork* at Ladderless... I was gonna write a little story about Rob Schneider beefing up for his next movie, "Deuce Bigelow, American Chug-a-lug," but you beat me to it, you rapscallion!

[casey]

Ooh, don't touch the rapscallion, it's got e.coli!

[Addicted to 24]

Cmon Judi,

We all know that your house is painted with a huge mural to the Rock. Heck I am a straight man and part of me goes gaga over him. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

[Ladderless]

No... us Rapscallions have passed the e.coli to the Raplettuces.

(Sorry Nebbisk -- Feel free to upstage me with a much funnier post... I'll be watching ;-) )

[baligurl]

Thanks for the pic, addicted. Siouxie and I have to mop our keyboards now...

[Suzy Q]

Siouxie and baligurl, The Rock just doesn't do it for me. You can have him all to yourselves.

[casey]

I'm with you Suzy Q, he is just yucky to me. Except for when he had long hair in that Mummy movie. I just have a thing about a man with long hair. I especially like it wrapped around my fist IYKWIM.

[Siouxie]

*empties drool bucket*

ladies...you don\\\'t know what you\\\'re saying! he is yummy!

[estrogen centrale]

It had better be in the Convocation Center, because it's pouring outside. I know that will make all of you suffering with winter just thrilled to hear.
I just got drenched running to my car fom lunch.
Weather report over.

[estrogen centrale]

Tosses a "r" into last post.

[OkieDokie]

Dave, I second the motion of somebody up there - I'd love to read a transcript of your speech.

[estrogen centrale]

OD, not sure, but I believe if you have RealPlayer, this link might help you.

http://www6.miami.edu/commencement/

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

judi, were you in the first row?

[oldj40]

I hope somebody showed up on the right day...the web page has the date as "Thursday, December 14".

[OtheU(manity)]

Yes ... and your point is ... ?

OTOH, I noticed that the wiki bio has him born in Hayward, CA, while the wrestlin' bio has him born in Bethlehem, PA ... ... where his dad moved, and he then played football in the Lehigh Valley league ...

NEbuddy out there recall all the words to "Lehigh Valley" ... sometimes mentioned by H. Allen Smith ... ???

[Chuck]

OD & estrogen C

if you go to Estrogen's link, go to the bottom of the page where they have a link to the webcast of the ceremonies. Dave's introduced at the 35:30 mark. If you want to skip the intro and go straight to Dave go to 39:10

[Siouxie]

Thanks EC!! and Chuck for setting that up for us. I just watched it and it was hilarious. GREAT advice.
Everyone looks funny in a robe, Dave...really.

[Tom]

Dave: I just watched the speech. My commencement speaker, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, was Art Buchwald. He told us that when people asked us about our graduation, he hoped we could tell them, "I laughed."
I think UM grads will be able to say the same.

[rjb]

here's the direct link for the streaming video of Dave's talk:

http://streaming.miami.edu:8080/ramgen/commencement/smil/commencement-12142006-1000am-barry.smil

Just remember, you need to have RealPlayer installed first to make this work.

Enjoy watching Dave Barry rock The Rock!!
Graduation speeches don't get any better than this one.