« Previous | Main | Next »

December 27, 2006

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to DavCat)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

I guess he was udderly stupid.

brain surgeon material, or a new agent for ms.smears! he could smuggle a bunch of stuff in her, oh, sorry, never mind, just forget i said that.

I've heard of a cattle car, but a cattle bus??

i think they should try to do that on the nyc subway and see how far they get.

queensbee, they probably were inspired by that scene in "Madagascar"

How do you SNEAK cows into a passenger bus?

They've would've gone undetected, if not for a mischeveous bovine who pulled the emergency stop.

plus the cops heard them signing "1000 bottles of milk on the wall."

Whatta mooooooooroon!

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
Keep those buses rollin'
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' Rawhide!

Hell-bent for leather
Windy rain or weather
Wishin' my cow was by my side.

Don't try to understand 'em
Just ticket, count, and brand 'em
Soon they'll be riding by your side

So head 'em up, take a seat,
Take a seat, move 'em out,
Head 'em up, Take a seat Rawhide

Drive 'em in, let 'em out,
Drive 'em in, cut 'em out,
Drive 'em in Rawhide!

make that "They would've"

*snork* @ Hammond

When the cows noticed the leather seat covers, and Mildred recognized a unique scar that had belonged to a beloved bovine bud, she fainted. From that moment, a relentless restlessness settled over the group, and they could not be quieted or comforted until they were able to exit the bus.

Maybe if he hadn't tried to get them on board for calf fare...

Thank you ladies and germs, you've been a beautiful audience. I'm here all week. Drive safely!


How do we know that the cow's weren't in charge and just "milking" the situation?

It was the horns sticking out of the windows that alerted the cops.

Rumor has it that some practical joker in the back moooned a cop.

Yo mooooma is so ugly she looked out the car window and got arrested for mooning.

Talk about milking a story for all that it's worth...

Here in Oregon we have a dairy that promotes their cows as being "helpers." The key one being named "Harry." When questioned, they explained that he was really a cross-dresser whose feminine side just dominated him.

Sir....step AWAY from the car...er COW, yeah, COW

Gary Larson is spinning in his chair.

He probably would have gotten away with it, if instead of taking the cattle to Kaliningrad, he took the to Mooscow (utilizing both syllables, of course.)

What was he planning on doing with them at the port? Steal a container ship for them?

New bovine skin flick: "Oh, Bessie Does Odessa."

They failed to mention that the cows were driving.

That guy really was an idiot because I know whenever any of my cows come up missing the first place I check is the bus depot to see if they're hitting the road...

I got a couple of them that splurge and call a cab, but most take the bus....

EC.....A milk container?

Lairbo, you forgot, "Please take care of your servers."

Nope jazzzz, a real cattle car type container.

(hee hee hee) I get it EC, I'm just not very funny. *re-reads "Satire for Dummies"*

Overheard on the bus:
STEER!!!
No, YOU steer!

Which dairy is that, Hanna? I must not watch enough television...

Unidentified
Russian cow thief foiled again
What would Larson do?

Jazzzz, your sense of humor is just fine. No worries!

*snork* @ StevieW

Oh, c'mon - give the guy a break! Personally, I would _never_ have thought to check the bus for stolen cattle. He was just unlucky, is all..

Was it a Cattle-ac?

*snork*, steve w. Whoop! You are on again today. I guess you didn't stop sniffin' glue after all.

*snork snork snork snork*

OW- I think I pulled somethin', Stevie, Lairbo, LBFF, Hammy, OK well, everyone.

Everybody's honkin' at me
I can't hear, my herd's a-strayin'
Holdin' my cattle all in line

--theme from "Midnight Cow Bus"

Was the cow perhaps licensed as a theraputic animal? We have those here in San Francisco.

"I left my herd....?"

I herd they were headed for .....MosCOW.

Or were they running for COW-ifornia?

Actually, I'm surprised they caught the thief. A little lipstick and those cows would easily pass for some Russian matrons. NTTAWWT.

And yes, canyon - happy cows are from Cow-lifornia.

CH, it was Darigold. I haven't heard a commercial about helping cows for a while, maybe enough of us protested. I actually talked to a PR person, and she didn't get it. Obviously did not grow up in cattle country, but she should know better even as a dairy cow rep.

These cows did not drive school buses, but they would help out in the garden, wash your car, sit the kids while you went to the grocery store, etc. It was a hoot, actually. Advertising agencies make too much money, they can afford reeeeal goooood druggggggs!

Pizdyets! I get on autobus and yest Milk Run!

8 yr old daughter received a joke book for Xmas...(Note to self: smack brother upside the head & buy nephew a drum).....and has been telling me jokes continuously since the 25th. Here's an appropriate one:


Why did the cow cross the road?

It was the chickens day off.

Just today I get me some moo
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
Get ‘em on the bus but can’t take ‘em through
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
I’m so nervous, I just sit and smile
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
Cows are gettin’ more and more hostile
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
Curse you, copper, for nabbing me here
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
You be the detector of my steers
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
I can only sit and cuss
(Too much, the Bovine Bus)
Say goodbye to my Bovine Bus.

*snork* @ JD!

Zoodle - Why did the cow cross the road>

To get to the bus stop on the other side.

Not tuned in to the cow bus situation. However, I just wanna know: I have a decent lap-top computer, which I bought for a considerable price, last year or maybe the end of the year before. I'm aghast because some internet sites I've tried to access have overlaping columns or something other. I admit I'm internet challenged, but, ya know -- I can't keep up with the Jones'.

"...the unidentified man, who police said was one of two men likely involved in the theft..."
So the guy had an accowmplice?

Unfortunately one of the heifers fell ill during the rescue and had to be evacuated via a Sick-cow-ski helicopter.

Did I mention I like cow posts? I can keep going like this until I'm completely decalfenaited.

The cows behaved professionally, their mother's were prod.

*snorks* at Annie!

Are you sure that you don't mean you like cowPOKES?

XLNT song, JD!!

foggie-Maybe it's your default settings on the screen view??? Not sure--that's all I can offer.

*snork* @ annie and JD

*snork* at Lisa's "prod" mothers.

Thanks, Annie, stevie, and Lisa! The story just moooved me to compose. Some moosic. OK, I'll stop now.

I'm wonderin' if them bovines all chipped in to pay the bus fare ...

One buffalo nickel each probably would have done the trick...

GREAT song Ducky!! Just got home and catching up on the cowposts. Moooood Mooosic indeed.

Annie can go on till the cows come home...in a bus no less.

stevie, did you read my post about that new cd I got?? The remixed Beatles "Love"??

Maybe the bus was a hereford.

And, of course, if the driver needed to honk at anyone, he used the (wait for it) longhorn! Whoooo! Hey, but I wanna tell ya... I'm here all week. Try the veal -- it's fresh off the bus! -- and don't forget to tip your gurnsey.

Well done, Lairbo - it's about time somebody did that joke. I've been waiting for it for heifer.


The veal on the bus goes round & round,
round & round,
ground & round...

And Annie, scrounging around the bottom of the barrel, comes up with a heretofore undiscovered gem. Zingo!

Sxi - I saw your post that you got the CD; was there another? I haven't seen the show yet, but for me it's all about the music. I got the CD shortly after it came out, and I have to say without exaggeration it was an epiphanic experience for me.

stevie, that was it! I agree that it's all about the music and I must say it is unreal. I haven't seen the show either although I'd love to see what they do to the music. I thought about you cuz I know you're like me when it comes to The Beatles!

Oh to be back in HS listening to this while under the influence...of um...mind altering cigarettes. Not that *I* ever did.

Annie, the only thing I can think of is..

Hoof let the cows out?
Hoof Hoof Hoof Hoof Hoof!

ok..I got nuffin!

...and the horn went, "Beef! Beef!"

They were caught red-footed. You know, crimson and cloven.

"...under the influence...of um...mind altering cigarettes."

A friend who saw it said it was like being on an acid trip. But with 6 or 8 speakers in each seat, plus the beyond-the-state-of-the-art sound system for the whole auditorium, for me it will still be all about the music.

I wonder whether there was a fork in the road.

*ditto*

There's no way I would have goten the CD if the original recordings weren't on there. You can't recreate that musical experience...at least not for someone who's loved the Beatles music for decades. Only George Martin could have pulled this off..IMHO

I gotta think this was a pretty rare occurence, since the rustlin' job wasn't very well done ... mebbe if the driver would've consulted an astrological medium, he could've tried it under the auspices of Taurus ... or p'haps if he'd've merely toro off down the road without stoppin' ... after all, he had a lot at steak ... considerin' how he'd pur-loined them critters ... I'm curious as to why he only had five of them ... I'd've thot that he'd have fileted up the bus ...

And the award for the most cow puns used in a single post goes to....OtheU!!!

In a mooooving speech, OtheU thanked his cowsin Elsie and his calf-brother Bo Vine.

O the U...Wow! A veritable cascade of bovinity!

(Personally, I always prefer to take the bus, and leave the driving to udders)

Awwww ... shucks ... t'wern't nothin' ... I wuz merely in a ruminantic state of mind, when this big Ox of a guy knocked on the door ... he wuz tryin' to corral a place to bed down fer the night, so I stalled him off until I could round up a spot next to the barn ... I did give a refreshin' glass of pasteurized milk before sendin' him on his way ... he wuz herdin' a bunch of little critters along with him, slappin' 'em (gently) on the rumps to keep 'em movin' ... he must've had a dozen little heifers he steered back into the minivan he wuz drivin' ... as they left, I heard him singin' Veal be seein' you ... and shanks vor de memories ...

I'm glad I wuz able to help him ... elsie I'd've had too much company fer the night ... If'n I'd've knowed he wuz in the area, I'd've found a good place to hide before he walked thru the gate ...

Did they herd it through the Grapevine?

(California joke)

Been there ... but with my hearing loss, I din't herd much, stevie ...

not much longer would you bovine...

make that Cowlifornia joke, stevie.

As much as I'd love to stay up for the many udderly amoozing cow puns...I must retire..I'm making myself *groan*

Sweet dreams fellow bloglits!!

*sets up the cowfee maker*

somebody stop me!!!!

*slaps self* nite nite!

Y'all are just too brilliant for me to keep up with. I liver for these pun-laden fenceposts, but I keep falling shortribs.

Foggy, have you recently upgraded your browser? I've seen that behavior on some sites with some of the newer browsers.

If you're running Internet Exploder (Internet Explorer), I'd try TiredFox (FireFox), or vice-versa, and see whether that unclogs the tubes for you.

No use beating a dead cow.

Goodnight.

They would not calf gotten caught if they wouldn't have been cow-ards, and mooved to the back of the bus.

Can we ask the cops to look the udder way, or do they just cheese it?

Actual billboard in Sonoma: Clop-toe, thru the tulips....

You know, I have to feel sorry for the poor busdriver.

How would YOU react?

-JP

The real crime is that the crooks made the Angus cattle ride in the back of the bus.

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise