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December 14, 2006

"BOOMER, THIS IS YOUR FOOD DISH SPEAKING. STOP HUMPING THE SOFA."

Via Gizmodo)

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"How to confuse the hell out of your dog".

And people wonder why our dogs are so often psychopaths?

And now if I could just confuse the spam bot a moment to post, "Oh, and FIRST!"

Chase your tail! Stop chasing your tail! Chase your tail! Stop chasing your tail!

endorsed by dr. pavlov, i believe...

My dog would never eat or drink again if I got this thing for him. He is petrified of the water cooler type dish we got him!

I'd rather be in a Skinner cage.

I would probably set it up for the cats and have the bowl call the dog to come and play.

I need a bowl that says "Do you really need that, chubby?"

SNORK at PPoo!

A client of mine has a parrot that says, "Here, Kitty Kitty Kitty." whenever he sees the cat. I'll bet whe never thought of training the bird to coach the cat.

OT

I am very sad to announce that the goat remains unmolested, unburnt, un-eaten-by-squirrel-horde, and otherwise entirely intact. This has been your daily goat status announcement; stay tuned for alerts should anything change.

/OT

My dog is a border collie, way too smart for his own good, and would probably dismantle the bowl, then reprogram it to play Three Dog Night (or, possibly, Snoop Dogg).

Wow, Clean Hands, a simul containing a goat AND a dog. Should we call it a Fjuckby simul? ;)

This is one situation where I do not want to watch.

There is something wrong with that.

;-)

$19.95 to scare the crap out of my wheatie? She's afraid of everything as it is. The cat would love it, though.

And CH - I'm addicted to the Bocken. I'll be pi$$ed if it burns while I'm on vacation and not near a computer. Are we getting our songs ready?

Bocken Inferno
Burnin' Down the Goat

There must be a million of 'em but work is over - it's mojito time for me.

Me, too, CH - In fact, I was on my way to say approximately the same thing, and fortunately read previous comments before I did....

Burn, bocken, burn...

ubetcha

Whereas one of our two cats would be terrified. He knows he's a tiny little 3-lb kitten who can sit on my hand. Nevermind that that was six years ago and he's currently an 18-lb beauty whom we've told the 'beagle' tag on the collar he wears is just to keep unworthy cats from wearing them. Short version: great big cat, very timid.

The other cat would use the bowl as an alarm clock - for us. Wouldn't put it past him to drag it from the kitchen to our bed either. He's clever that way.

like they say, "dogs have owners/masters, cats have staffs."

Soothing for the pets? Maybe. But I'm thinking Heart Attack City for the uninformed pet sitter or visitor, when Rover gets peckish while they're in the room.

What if your dog was really lonely and drank himself to death?

Nycol - my sister's dog is afraid of "the bubble", too! Whereas, I bought a mini version of that for my cat and she drinks and drinks just to make the bubble appear. Too funny!

On a vaguely related topic, my beloved daughter has taught her beagle puppy to, on the command of "Commit Suicide," climb to the top of the couch and jump off.

I'm so proud.

*snork @ Beppie, and HR's daughter*

Update - be sure to watch the video demonstration of this unique gift idea.

LMAO Ham's daughter!

I say we sing:

The Goat!! The Goat!! The Goat!!! is on FIRE
We don't need no water let the motha fjucker BURN!!

*glad to be finally home and not showing my \\\'s*

MOTW: all I can think to say about that 'Update' is:

COMPUTER ACCESSORY OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Woof.

(Thanks to RussellMc)

Posted by Dave on December 12, 2006 at 04:06 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

Thank you, CJ, for setting me straight. I don't always get to read every single thing posted.

MO, I know what you mean; most days I find it impossible. If I'm diligent, I may get down to the earlier fjucking post.

Hi y'all!

Miss you guys! SOOOOOOO busy lately!!

My stockings are hung by the chimney with care. (care and tacks), my tree lights are strung and only ONE string had to be unwound and replaced! A new record! Halls are decked and my nog is waiting to be spiked! (Oh, and ALL my gifts are bought & wrapped!)

Sorry to gloat, but this is the earliest ever for me and I am very proud.

Now I am going to pour a cocktail and sit by the fire and wait for Mr Poo to drag his overworked butt in the door. (and make me supper!)

It's a Wonderful Life!

CJ, btw...I am now waiting for EC to come pick me up. We're going to the Hiaasen book signing. We'll have details later as well as some crapshots.

I just have to shop shop and shop!!! this weekend will be it for me...besides having to drive up toe Sarasota to pick up my daughter!

Congrats to you Punkin!!!!

Yes, Punkin, we are jealous.

When Sio gets back, she'll know how to spell Hiassen [sneaky surprise between EC and me]!

"My stockings are hung by the chimney with care. (care and tacks), my tree lights are strung and only ONE string had to be unwound and replaced! A new record! Halls are decked and my nog is waiting to be spiked! (Oh, and ALL my gifts are bought & wrapped!)"

*thinks evil thoughts about Punkin*

Hi Siouxie!!!!!!

I'd rather be with you & EC & the always funny Hiaasen!

Will look forward to the pics!!!

HAVE FUN! (Like I need to tell YOU that!)

Pogo - Don't hate me because I'm done with the hideous chore of mall-combat, hate me because I'm beautiful! (And because I, too, misspelled Hiassen!)

*goes off to lounge on sofa and admire the Norman Rockwell-ish scene....and eat bon-bons*

Hey - my bon-bon bowl just told me to get off the sofa.

*pout*

*is jealous of Punkin & Siouxie*

*is happy she got posted today*

*thinks eggnog sounds like a terrific idea*

*realizes he has heard "bon bons" mentioned all his life, but has no idea what they are*

Ok, Punkin, I'll hate you on your own terms.

"Carl Hiaasen was born and raised in Florida, where he still lives with his family."

*Taken from the official Hiaasen website*

*ahem*

that is all ;P

Pogo:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1) -
bon·bon

1. a fondant, fruit, or nut center dipped in fondant or chocolate; a chocolate.
2. a piece of confectionery; candy.

Thanks guys! we'll have a good time I'm sure. This is my first experience with Mr. Hiaasen so I'm thrilled!!!

I'm looking forward to PICTURES, Siouxie! Have fun!

I have my cam ready, Ducky!! hope Mom's hair came out lovely!

Thanks, Siouxie, it did, and she was happy. Always a good thing!

Krak!

or:

Anger!

[whichever means vomit. or regret].

*writes on blackboard 100 times*

I will not forget how to spell one of my favorite writer's names....

*dips a gumball in a fondant*

Heh. I used to do a regular radio show, and it drove my dog nuts trying to find me in the house...he knew I was gone, but he could hear my voice. I think this product would drive him completely around the bend.

My Great Dane would likely eat the bowl.

Hey Guys...... things look as fjucked up as ever around here. Punkin', I've done my shopping too. All from in front of the fire when all through the house was the click of a mouse! And they wrap, write a card, and deliver. God, I love this country!! And I could keep tabs on the blog while shopping. I know, I took the spirit out of it.....out of traffic and not finding what I want and out of wrestling little old ladies for the last George Foreman grill and out of........

why does it say Jazzzz when I click "Post", and my alias when it posts? I checked the appropriate box.... fjuk

Jazzzz: apparently it doesn't. I'm with DF on the beauty of shopping where and when I want to, but I'm not down with this. This must not stand! The Blog must be nominated, next year!

CJ...............obviously these folks have dain bramage

Oh! Now I get it. Hot Springs should have been a clue. Tennessee on Sunday to possibly clinch a wildcard. Go Jagzzzzz!

Sio will get back here, eventually, carrying a copy of Hiassen's 'Tourist Season,' his earliest, my favoritest. I'll be checking back for booger-booky images.

I'll be pullin' for Matt and the gang!!

Chatterbowl™ ...

Is that any relation to Chatterbox?

( ... merely ... um ... nevermind ...)

"My stockings are hung by the chimney with care. (care and tacks), my tree lights are strung and only ONE string had to be unwound and replaced! A new record! Halls are decked and my nog is waiting to be spiked! (Oh, and ALL my gifts are bought & wrapped!)"

Punkin, please realize it is with the greatest love and respect when I say...... You Make Me Sick!!! :)

Here for a min...

CJ!!! THANK YOU for the book!! that was such a surprise!! ec was a sneaky little byotch! Carl was very funny and I bought his latest one...but I'll read the one you gave me first!

BTW, The Blogs were there...we didn't get to talk to Dave but we talked to Michelle about Carl's books. I will have some crap shots for you tomorrow.

NYTOL!

Great. Just great. Now my cat's water bowl will sing:

Water travels in a cycle,
Yes it does....

Curse you, blasted earwig!

A water dish with batteries underneath? Shocking! One false move and my labrador becomes a labradoodle with a perm.

You cannot get a shock from that kind of battery.

Wanna bet?

(I say that 'cuz I recall the experiment we did in ... um ... about ... 5th grade? ... science class, with a lemon and ... somethin' else ... to create an electrical current/charge ... it wuz described (by our teacher ... Mrs. Larson? Miss McLaughlin?) as "a simple battery" ...

)

Maybe the device could be modified to hold the ranch dressing and provide a bit more instruction for a Wheaton North (IL) student about what is and is not appropriate salad bar behavior:

http://www.dailyherald.com/story.asp?id=260608

Might need free registration

My Dad got his dog spayed because he would hump everything in sight. It didn't work!

FOR ALL THOSE INTERESTED:

CARL HIAASEN crap cam photos

Pamela, indiscrimanate humping (which WBAGNFsomething) is actually an agressive/dominating behavior. That dog needs to be reminded as to who is the boss in his/her household. I say his/her cuz you said "spayed" which is what happens to females (me included) then went on to say "him". Hims get neutered. I have attempted to neuter my ex but he ran too fast.

Now that I read your post again Pam, maybe you meant your dad was humping everything in sight? If so, I would recommend a rolled up newspaper applied to his nasal area.

My dog would run around it barking, and probably hide under the couch, lol. (wonders how much therapy for a dauchshund would be)

testing one two

The link above is not working. I fixed it on the following post. Sorry ;-)

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