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December 30, 2006

2006

It's almost over. And that is a good thing.

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Finally! I've been waiting all year for this. And checking the blog every 30 minutes waiting for this post for the past few hours.

Can't wait to read it!

Wow. This Barry guy should write a book!

LUV the Castro comments. It's like the Cuban version of 'Weekend at Bernie's.'

YAY!!! FINALLY! No one sums up the year like you, Dave. Awesome job, as usual.

On that note...nite nite!

Dave, stick to humor. This real news reporting is too depressing.

August was my favorite. But that's like saying, of the 12 months, this one didn't suck as much as the others, or at least sucked in an amusing, if petulant, manner.
Might I add that it was not Dave's fault that this year sucked. He merely made it tolerable. Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you are one lonely puppy.
Would someone please finish reading Dave's opus so I can have a discussion, or at least a target?

Here I am by demand AWBH. Target on! Here you go:

I thought Dave's column was pedantic.

(Not really, it's awesome)

I'm glad it's finally OK to joke about Steve Erwin. I was afraid he was going to become the next Princess Diana!

Do you think it's OK to joke about Gerald Ford yet? I have one... Why did Gerald Ford die last week? He didn't want to see Michigan get its ass handed to it by USC on Monday. (A little college football reference for you sports fans.)

Phasers on stun for Adonis, who, btw, is stunning. 06 was snot a good year. But hey, when Life gives you lemons, throw them right back at him, aiming at Life's vital areas.

Love the segues, Dave. Speaking of segways....

Brad - the same USC that just lost to UCLA? The one with the white pony and the condoms?

... Annie Where-But-Here compliments Adonis. The world is shocked and awed. The world stands with it's mouth agape and with wet pants.

Adonis - " its mouth agape..."
Next victim!

Great stuff :) 'specially the part about Michael Richards (though in my opinion, he did try hard to fix his mistake even though the public wouldn't really let him).

Annie... The statute of limitations on the UCLA game was Christmas. It is now officially OK to be Trojan Fan again.

bbescuela = don't worry - I promise to make 07 much better. Bode Miller and Cheney are already en route to meet Castro for a turkey shoot and bbq.

ok, Brad. Never mind. Pete Carroll is kinda cute, isn't he?

yay :) and i finally was able to update the website. you wouldn't belIEVE how many people have been writing in about this! :)

I just want to say thank you! For sending most everything off the desk because the cat is all into the printer--paws, rump and all.

And for the fact that we will laugh at this at work for the next month. I work in CICU (coronary) in a large hospital...I'm pretty sure it's gonna make the rounds!! I know I've been waiting for it!! Thanks Dave and Judi!!! Happy New Year to you all!!
Bless everyone!!

And for the last post I got the dreaded bot!! WHY?

twice!!

shellks - illegal use of exclamation points - minus ten yards.

bot bot bot bot bot again
bot bot bot bot bot again
got the bot again
i just can't stand
that bot again!
you got me cursin' and a-squealin'
it's really unappealin'
bot again!

put *s in dirty words
like s*ck and f*rt and t*rds
tell the bot i'm nice
but it's a wholly f***ed device!
bot again!
bot bot bot again!!
you got me cursin' and a-squealin'
it's really unappealin'
bot again (bot bot bot bot again)

This is a long article! My attention span ain't what it used to be. A sign of the cyber-age, I s'pose.

But so far, so funny, so good.

As it turns out, there are no PS3s. They where all destroyed by Bode Miller.

I wonder if Dave knows that now when you click on the link to the article, you get the page forcing you to register with the Herald first. if I were Dave, I'd pick up the phone and call somebody. Luckily, I kept a window open before the Miami Registration Police could catch me.

Arnie's skiing didn't get mentioned. Apart from that - a great summary.

"Annie's skiing"? I went skiing? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Can I just say:
I.
Love.
This.
Man.

And I hate the frickin' bot, who obviously hates me back.

Ooh! MY bar is open, and I'm buyin'...anyone thirsty?

Yesssss, bali! Gimme a Castro, please.

My name is Katie Couric, and that's the year in review, even if I couldn't get through it without laughing.

Hey Annie!! What's a Castro? Tell me how and I'm on it!

That wasn't me.

Bali, I'll have a Grecian Urn, por favor.

A Castro is sour Patron or Napoleon tequila on the rocks, rimmed with sea salt, served with ice cold sangrita. Just one of them is more than enough to make you feel like you can rule an entire nation even when you're dead.

*pulls out Boston bar guide*

Whut?

stevie - about $30 a week?

pssst....bali...I made it up....anything is fine, really.
*pulls out Boston comedy guide - aka Red Sox yearbook*

Well, then...having the same with Annie. Because I have SO MUCH TO DO tomorrow for NYE party. Next year, y'all are coming, if I gotta pick you up myownself.

Bali, that Castro sounds too sweet to me. Do you know how to make a Maltese cross?

"Next year, y'all are coming, if I gotta pick you up myownself."

How nice! If you're in Bali, I WILL come.

see - the Castro drink was supposed to be funny, 'cause Castro is sour, and very cold, and surrounded by the ocean...sigh...

*pulls out Shakespeare's "Comedy of Eros" to read in bed...*
Good night! See y'all next....um, day.

stevie - you step on his cat?

Lol, annie, you know I'm throwin' you softballs here. Put 'em under your pillow, and sleep tight.

Bali, hi, may call you,
Anytime, any day,
In your heart, you'll hear her call you,
Come away, come away....

Night, all. *turns to tequila* "Tell me you love me..."

Dave for president!
Ok, so maybe not, or we'd have a State of The Boogers Address every week, following the latest episode of 24 :P

Anyway, many thanks to you Dave, for providing relief from all the crap happening around the world.

Kudos!

Fun Word of the Week, Sunday, Dec. 31, 2006

Castro, n.

A "Castro" conquers space with fine design and saves you money all the time. It's tops in the the convertible line, Castro convertible.

Next week's Fun Word: Murphy

Hehehe...Dave said "annals".....

It appears that all of the bloggits have been blown off the blog by Tropical Duck Fart Ernesto. I hope to be out of the line at the gas station by Tuesday morning.

Joyous Celebration of the Passage of Time Merry New Year to Everyone!!

Dave,

You shouldn't make fun of Fuslims.

Annie, I see you were up late last night, or should I say early this morning? I love to read your witty reparte with Steve. Ya'll rock.

Hope your head is not too big this morning.

WooHoo, year in review! Looking back, I don't remember it being as funny as Dave makes it out to be.

YAY Dave! That was amazing!

*zips in*

Dave's Year in Review is awesome! But there's one thing missing.

Did I have a good time? ;)

El-Looking back over previous comments, we're happy to report--you did! ;-)

That was splendid! Personally, I think that if Paris shut down we wouldn't need to worry about her reproducing.

For Jazzzzzzzz, in a nutshell, what has to happen for the Jags to make the playoffs. Someone, last night, pointed out that NE would not lose. Probably true, except Bellicheck is a rebel; he hates the League bureaucrats and will purposely throw a game if it's to his advantage. He wants to play the Jets, with nearly the worst offense and defense in the league. He wants to play the hideous Colts. As all of the critical games are at 1pm, there is a theory out there [from Experts, reading cat entrails], that Bellicheck will be watching the scoreboards late in the fourth quarter and may choose to tank the game against the Titans if it's to NE's advantage to not be moved up into the third seed. Gawd help me, I'm too into this cr@p, but then I have to read about 'Yadda yadda Yankees....Boohoo boohoo BoSox' for the ENTIRE REST OF THE YEAR!

Hey CJ: The tailgating and BBQ is firing up at Arrowhead. We suck, but GO CHIEFS!

And EFF the bot. That is all.

Thanks Lisa! I feel much better about 2006 now, and I just asked my Magic 8 Ball if 2007 would be a good year for me and it said, Ask Again Later. *sigh*

CJ, you think the great Bellichek would throw a game! Horrors! I of course only care that the Chargers get to the Super Bowl, so if any games are thrown I hope it's against them.

And since the NYY now have Pettite and Igawa, I don't think they'll be much discussion about the Red Sox.

*ducks in case Punkin is around*

Med, just a thought before I head off for cooking, burping, and yelling, the Chiefs at 8-7 have a Perfect Storm potential play-off shot, nearly identical to that of the Jags. Hope you get to watch what should be an awesome game. Myself, I just can't take sitting in a sports bar, watching a silent screen and screaming while everyone else is watching the Bucs game. I'm gonna go cook-out and play Extreme Croquet [in the woods, wickets behind tree roots and rocks, TVs scattered throughout on long extension cords]. I'll keep up with the KC game on my laptop, but mostly I will drink beer and look forward to my Gators whipping the OSU tree-somethings next Monday!

LOVE the year's review, of course! Dave is like a fine musician, he hits ALL the right notes. Thanks, Dave, for being the best and funniest part of every single day.

Any of you who might be interested, I wrote up my Year in Television 2006 over at my blog a few days ago.

Two weeks until "24" starts again! Everyone get their finest blogging gear on, because we'll have TWO two-hour episodes Sunday and Monday. That's a lot of snarky typing everyone is going to have to do. Can't wait!

Thanks for the Year in Review, Dave! I look forward to it every year!

The year made better. Thanks Dave.

Brad: I think it has been okay to joke about Ford ever since the first person remembered the Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw recording obituaries skit.

as clearly foretold in the Bible as a sign of the Apocalypse -- Howie Mandel got a hit TV show

St. Elsewhere? (Okay, so that wasn't really any one cast member's show.)

After several perusals, I have determined that the "Waffle House" and the "Happy Birthday" bombs are my favorite of my favorite lines.

(But it was pretty hard to choose.)

re: miami herald registration -- if there were ANYTHING we could do about it, don't you think we already would have? it's been there for, like, 3 YEARS, stevie. are you just noticing? and does anyone register with real info? just wondering.

happy new year all! hope you have a great evening, safe and happy.

well, judi, here's my two cents, FWIW. The Heral is where you and Dave work, and I just think we blogits who adore both of you have a moral obligation to register there and not b!tch about it.
Really.

And Happy New Year! :)

Lol, judi, but I've around only a few months. And just because of the post following yours, I'll register. As Eleanor.

And Happy New Year to all o' youse!!!

I'm with El (not literally, of course.) I registered with the Herald, no fibs, and went right to Dave's column. If the Herald has any marketing brains at all, they track which page on their site gets the the most hits. Then they give Dave & judi well-deserved raises so they can afford to hire me as Walter's personal assistant.

Lol. What exactly does Walter need assistance with?

I used to access the blog thru the Herald's main page or thru Drudge, and I was never asked to register. now of course, I have a link to it in my faves, but still no prob.

Now I must go and clean the kitchen. Those quesadillas don't pick themselves up off the floor, you know. Maybe I need a dog...

Parting shot:

"...so they can afford to hire me as Walter's personal assistant."

He just hired Sonia Muckle.

Later, palz

Walter was never very good at making business decisions.

Dave, would you be my mentor? I'll bake you cookies.

Steve W sez:

Bali, that Castro sounds too sweet to me. Do you know how to make a Maltese cross?
Don't tip him?

judi-I registered a long time ago and used real info. (It was before I knew there was another option.) ;-)

Annie-I thought Dave was already our mentor.

Mentor - (alt. spelling, Mentoer.)

Person who places Mentos in a bottle of Diet Coke™.

Menterminator.

(California joke. Sort of.)

Well written and well done! Happy New Year to you and yours, and everybody else's!

You know, the one sad point of 2006 is that Dave should have written a book.

A book? What a terrific idea!

*sends K-9's i.e. "Housekeeping" over to Stevie's for quesadillas*

Me too Lisa, about the registering. At the time I was a blog newbie and didn't know you could lie, or even have a fake blog name.
Aaah, I was so young and naive...

So stevie, I'm sure they won't notice that there are two Eleanors. And ROFL! :)

Eleanor, I dressed up first and tried to *zip in* and *zip out* as convincingly as I could.

I think I fooled 'em. But I wish I could stop these spam e-mails I keep getting for botox and breast lifts.

Gee stevie, you'd think since I've had a couple of each, they wouldn't be sending them anymore...;)

Ooh, I just got the "California" joke. Pretty funny. I'd give it a "B". ;)

Love, love, love the year-in-review. The year sucked, but the review was great!

"This is a long article! My attention span ain't what it used to be. A sign of the cyber-age, I s'pose."

Yeah, so long that our local paper here in Dallas edited it into oblivion. I read it first in yesterday's Sunday magazine (since yesterday, being Sunday and all, was the only appropriate day to issue a Sunday magazine), and when I checked out the original column at the Herald link, I realized that they had only printed about half of it in our paper! I hope Dave still got paid his entire fee...

I started it yesterday, got distracted (not by beer OR football), finished this morning. My favorites are the running gag about Bode Miller and Nancy Pelosi. They were everywhere...

Dave, how could you leave out the pathetic Britney Spears from the year's events?

Great year in review! I registered for the Herald with real info, too (what was I thinking?).

Some of these lines were too great. Like these:

Rather cites a desire to ''explore other options'' and ``not keep getting maced by the CBS security guard.''

if violence continues, the United States will have no choice but to dispatch Vice President Cheney to the region to hunt quail. Within minutes a cease-fire breaks out, with both sides agreeing to resume fire at a mutually convenient future date.

details of the meeting, including who went to the bathroom, and why. [why would anyone want to know why? I don't want to know if it was number 1 or 2.]

prompting both schools to seriously consider banning players from carrying handguns onto the field.

By an overwhelming margin, this district elects Jabba the Hutt.

If Judith Regan Had the Moral Standards of a Tapeworm. [Isn't this insulting to tapeworms? Although maybe one or two tapeworms should spend some time with OJ.]

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