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November 30, 2006

UPDATE

We have reached Minnesota. The flight was uneventful, except when Mrs. Blog went to say hi to her 3-year-old nephew, and when she asked him how he was doing, he answered, really loud, "I farted!"

It is very cold here, but so far things are going smoothly, with no delays at the dogsled-rental counter. I will try to keep blogging as long as my keyboard doesn't fr

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*sends Dave a blow dryer for to thaw out his kb*

oh and *SNORK* @ "I farted"

Let me be the FIRST to say...Glad you all had a safe trip!!

hat trick??

You all you have to do is teach the boy how to light his farts and you have a natural heat source.

Throws a "know" up to myself. Sorry folks but I have something on my mind.

Siouxie,

I never knew why they called it a "hat trick".
Anyone?

Sorry - I was enjoying my adult beverage...

Kids (pretty much all of them) are really cool.
Farts (absolutely all of them) are really cool.
The weather (in Minnesota) is really cool.

Am I beating this to death?

Also dont worry Dave a Heat Wave is on the way.

You're lucky he wasn't wearing a turbin when he said that. Minneapolis people aren't to keen on that kind of thing lately.

Zap: Three outs in a row, in cricket, doesn't end the over [similar to an inning], but it does win the bowler [pitcher] a hat.

Dave, thanks for the new post, as otherwise I was going to have to find 'hot wax' in one of the previous threads and I have no use for hot wax.

*texts the Blog Family all the hot wax*

Welcome to the frozen tundra of the midwest, where we use the bottom half of the thermometer.

It is 77 here in LA, but earlier, it was a frigid 62 metric. That was before we heated up the wax for CJ.

today sucked!

that is all.

*opens extra beer*

Same here Annie! although I think we're up in the 80's now.

Dave, don't you miss Miami now???

CJ, we could still do the waxing here...

Sorry to hear that, Wyo.....my day blew.

Think a day can suck AND blow?

*these are things I think about - help me*

Sorry to hear Wyo...now drink up real quick like and things will start looking better, k?

Dave, Sophie has booger protection, right? We don't want her cute wittle booger woogers fweezin now do we?

Did somebody mention 'suction'? Wyo, if your day was bad, check out Clean Hand's new coiffure.

PPoo and Wyo, if we could just get the day to swallow....

Punkin - Yes. A day can both blow and suck.

Mojito? Scotch? Wine?

*sends Wyo a case of his favorite beer*

pssst...you can always have that "wine-in-a-box" when you run out!!


*knows what can and suck and blow*

a Hoover people!! sheeshhhhhh!!!

Addicted, you are evil. Thanks.

It's been a long, but non-sucky day here in Feed a Crackhead to the Gator Land. *raises a medicinal ESB @ Wyo and DPS, and all*

Ahh....thanks for settling that for me....

*wonders what she can obsess about now*

pssst....Siouxie....didja see CJ's armpit when he raised that glass? Better go get more wax.

A true fart story:

When my oldest was about 3 I was at some rinky-dink local eating establishment that had those booths with vinyl covering. I had on tennis shoes. I had one leg curled up under me so my shoe was on the vinyl seat. The waitress walked up to ask a question and I moved to put my foot on the floor. As I did so, the rubber from the sole of the shoe made that horrible sound that is made when rubber and vinyl rub together. My precious child screamed

MOMMY FARTED MOMMY FARTED EEEEEWWWWWW MOMMY FARTED!

The whole establishment grew very quiet and they all started looking at me while I tried very hard to fit under the table.

Yeah, I hate farting on that fake naugahyde stuff....it's impermiable, so when you fart, you just rise up like a hoovercraft...

TMI?

See?
I told ya. Farts are always funny.

ok, now my day just got better. slightly.

Thanks to all of you for your support, humor and goodwill.

and *snork* @ casey's "swallow" no further comment there.

HOT WAX COMING THROUGH!!!

CJ????????

Back to work. catch you all in December.

Y'all have a good nite. Hope your evening is full of snorks and warm happy feelings. I'm off to unwind with some Shiraz.

sure casey. whatever you say.....

my charming oldest piped up right in the middle of a wedding, a small wedding, a small church wedding, that he'd farted. of course i bust out laughing. which didn't help. we were barred from the reception.

byeeeeee Wyo and casey!

I'll be unwinding with my Chardonnay very shortly.

Glad you had a safe trip there! Aren't nephews the best?! My two year old nephew discovered that he can "fart out of my mouth and my butt!". He was truly amazed at how talented and versatile he was.

Hey Casey, that's an inappropriate story; on some blogs, but not here.I feel for you.My parents ruined my life in the space of ten minutes in church once when I was seated between the two of them....never saw two adults cast such accusing glances at each other when both were guilty...

*clears CG some room @ the reception bar*

What is this freakin' hot wax biz? I have been checking older threads [thought I was in pay dirt when nekkid gator boy turned into bathing suit calendars!], but there's a whole day to catch up. Stewpid werk!

CJ - It's mostly in the Headline-of-the-Day thread. About 2/3 of the way down. Have fun.

Thanks [no wonder; I had seen the previous posting and only glanced at the first few comments].

I like to call it "When Hairy Met Scalpel."

*snork*@Annie

(yes, I snorked for a Yankee lover! That's the kind of tolerant human being I am!)

And I bust butt to entertain a Bosox fan who's had a few sucky/blowy/b!tchy days. Because that's the kind of tolerant human being I am.

Sounds like this kid is going to have a career as a humor writer!

Okay, ya'll. Yes, it can suck, blow and swallow simul.

ATTENTION! We are having a 4 alarm, all hands on deck winter storm here in KC. For the 2nd day in a row, my company so kindly sent me home early......
WITHOUT PAY!!!!

As much as I appreciate their concern for my safety in ice, sleet, and white out conditions.......

MY KIDS NEED TO FRIGGIN' EAT!

Thanks for allowing me to rant. Going to start a fire in the fireplace (perhaps I should light it with some toddler flatulence), and a big glass of "box wine" CUZ THATS ALL I CAN AFFORD.

That is all.

Wow, Med. That really sucks, blows, and hollers.

BRRRRRRRRRRR Med!! don't knock the wine-in-a-box there...that's what *I* drink and I can surely afford wine-with-a-screw-on-top!!!

oh and *snorks* to Annie & Punkin for their sisterly lovefest!!!

Dang, Med! Yo make me wanna get up and dust, or something productive. I am going to resist, but barely.

Annie, that's WAY better than sucks, blows and spits....right?

thank you cj, you are truly a gentleman.

loves med some australian wine. with a cork! that really does suck. wonders how many days of work you snow people lose pay for every year. gives thanks that i only have to worry about the errant hurricane. and right around christmas too. you shoudl get paid. what's your bosses number? i'll talk to him for you.

get up and dust?!!?!! reasses opinion of cj's manliness.

"loves med some australian wine. with a cork that really does suck."

hmm...crossgirl? you could have sent her something that doesn't suck...just sayin'

crossgirl - I think you might have meant 'reassesses', but your word, 're-asses', is much more apropos.
*dusts off the dawghouse for cj*

Thanks for the "lift" guys. CJ - don't bust a nut, buddy. No reason to stir up the dust bunnies on my account.

I have to admit, that I absolutely love the company I work for, and to a certain degree, put myself in this position, by taking a job for compensation that doesnt meet my bottom line. I did it because the company is awesome, growing, and if I can hang, should offer loads of growth potential.

It's just the hanging in there that sucks hard..... like Samantha from Sex and the City!

hey!!! no fair! i used proper punctuation.

DAVE -- If you're going to get Frozen in MN, why not visit North Dakota and become familiar with the lowest Third of the Thermometor??.....

The comment on the -11 degree windchill at the Stop N Go Tuesday was, "Just a bit chilly today?"

Almost to zero on the Kelvin Scale, the EB.

If Cj feels he needs to dust, I think someone needs to take this opportunity to marry him.

thanks annie. i'm a little cocktailed and when spelled right, that word just looked allllllllllll wrong.

((Don't worry, even my Haldol darts are Frozen))

hmmmmmmmmmmm. does he do windows too?

cg - I think it's appropriate. After that insensitive 'dusting' comment from cj, he's gonna need to be 're-assed', 'cuz I'm gonna break the one he has right now. :)

hmmmmmmmmmmm. does he do windows too?

Once you hotwax his backside, I think it might be smooth enough to do windows.

Siouxie - will you consider adopting me? I cook, clean, and pour a mean drink!

But I need LOTS of sunscreen.

I just checked our weather forecast - tomorrow it's only getting up to 72.

interesting mental picture there, annie.

cg - I scared myself, so I changed the topic to the weather....la, la, la...

med, do you do windows? i may want to adopt you if things don't work out with cj.

Med, come on down! it's slightly breezy and chilly down here...in a word...'nippy'

I think we'll have cooler weather here tomorrow too Annie. I have my boots & sweater ready!

I think I've frightened every male blogger away from the past 3 or 4 threads. That may be a record.

And I wonder why I'm single....sigh....

CG: Yes, I do windows. Windex is my best friend. I buy it at the wholesale club by the gallon.

*sigh* I am so pitiful. And girlie. Damn! Now you know almost all of my secrets. ;)

*sigh* mental note to post faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from annie.

Annie, you and me girlfriend!

maybe there are no male bloggers in Australia??? we ARE moving down under right?

siouxie, you already had cj, you can't have med too!

lots of simuls with the girls. at least we're in synch!

-- thoughtfully reconsidering --

Thanks, guys. I have my bags packed, then I looked at my books. I can't leave them.

And they are so cumbersome and weighty to move.

Oh well, anyone want a snowcone?

Sistahs are doin' windows for themselves!

crossgirl, but I was willing to share him...you just couldn't get down here!

as far as girl-simuls go? nothing wrong with that.

And Annie - Girlfriend, you are single for the same reason I am.

Men our age are scared to death of beautiful, brilliant, opinionated women.

'Nuff said.

Ahem! I has to dust all of the time as I am an idiot and collect lamps, books, stereo equipment, and furniture. Roomba takes care of the rest!

And where are the guys? Jeff, DPS, Wyo, CH, and Blurk would have a heyday with this thread!

****giggling hysterically********

Med? is that the reason??

*suddenly wishes she was fugly, stoopid and shy*

NOT!!

*snork* @ 1/2@assed CJ!

oopsie...

reaches up and takes an 'a' outta her @ss!

wait...

gee, and here i've been blaming my kids all this time.

Sioux - That and the fact (quoting from Jerry Mcguire) that I have been to the circus. I have already seen the puppet show and the strings.

I have to add a footnote, the "old guys" are all into me. I just can't get beyond the fact that they are the same age as my DAD. Eeeewwww!!!

you know, med, i've got lots and lots of books.....and wine with corks! windex could be had i suppose.

CG - The kids are just their "excuse." And we all know excuses are like Aholes.

CG - I am texting my fav t-shirt over. It reads:

A$$hole magnet.

What more can I add?

Med, I know the feeling. It's either the "old geezer" types or the "way TOO young guys who SAY they prefer a 'mature' woman but have the IQ of a snail"

Where are the REAL men out there????

hey, ummm, siouxie, the young guys NEVER hit on me. wanna send some north? they don't really need to talk.

Heh... Dave, you should have come last week. It was like 60 degrees.

CG - I can send some that arent capable of speaking. Good for ...... something.

Good for moving boxes of books, that is.

*snork* crossgirl!

Seriously...how much great s3x can you have before you just want to have a mature conversation??

wait...

Sioux - One word.... RUGBY!

um...nevermind.

hey boys???

siouxie, i don't remember!!

*notices the absence of the male blogstuds*

GIRLFEST???

I am so down with the brilliant, sane, thoughtful estrogen that is overflowing on this thread.

I can die sleep happy tonight.

Success! Med, I saw that smile. Thbtbtbt @ Annie 'n' her dawghouse. Annie, you ain't near as scary as swimming with prehistoric lizards.

Annie: [high-pitched falsetto]- Oooo, thanks CJ, that's the nicest thing an intimidated man said to me all week!

CJ: *measures the dawghouse, runs away!*

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