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November 21, 2006

STILL NO TAKERS

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First, but I already have mine.

I like how it's called a "mystery penis". I have visions of Mrs. Plum in the conservatory with a hatchet.

How long do they last? Wouldn't it be all magotty by now?

I'm thinking that would be a hard thing to lose.

Dogs. Sure...just how long would that thing last if a dog found it?

more like "still no leavers"

it's a sad state of affairs when i'm relieved that a "still no takers" post is a lost penis and not a manilow calendar.

It's an old Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the penises.

I'm no doctor but I bet they're past the attach-by date.

The police are still waiting for someone to come forward to claim it. I would love to see that.

Guy walks into the police station with bloody trousers:

Guy: Excuse me, officer. I was told that you found a stray penis...

Officer: Yes sir. We have. Are you, by chance, missing a penis?

Guy: Why yes. How did you know? Could I please have it back? It has some sentimental value.

Officer: Sure. Could you please describe the lost member for identification? We would not want to give you the wrong one, now. Would we?

i don't know, i checked the package of weiners in my fridge and they last a good long time.

This is why we need Punkin's bar-code system. No problems with identification!

I'm sure they have it frozen to keep it "fresh" ..no?

Siouxie:

There's "fresh" and then there's "poppin fresh," as it were.

Could be nothing, could be everything.

If we try to think like Stephen King....

Maybe...it was all that was left!

*imagine evil monster noises, which I don't know how to make*

Mystery Penis in Mortuary WBAGNFA punk RB

*snork* @ Evil Lisa

Stephen King would be one to leave a decaying penis after the rest of the body had been chewed up or dissolved in acid.

*LOVE that man!!*

I think you're not supposed to freeze body parts if you plasn on reattaching them. When the water turns to ice, it expands, bursting the cells. Thawing them out doesn't help much, either.

Eeeewwww!

Siouxie, I was the one that said that. It's up there at comment #3

Was it on a blanket, for sale, next to a toaster oven?

Like Cheesewiz said...I think this penis is beyond the re-attachment phase.

OK...so everyone agrees that freezing, storage in random mortuaries, and being carried around by dogs are not good ways to preserve the viability of a free-lance penis. Let's get constructive here: What IS the right response??? I mean, just in case...

Okay, Dave, did you and Ridley Pearson conspire together to have BOTH of your blogs post weird-stories-of-the-day-about-sad-endings-for-penises?

Does the penis in question get it's own cooler? You know, like they show on TV, where they open a door and a sheet covered table slides out and then somebody uncovers the body for identification by the next of kin...

And did they tie a little tag to it with the name "Penis Doe" until the next of kin comes to identify it?

And don't they have to keep unclaimed peni for a certain period of time before it is buried? Are there detectives running prints thru AFIS looking for a match? What happens to unidentified/unclaimed peni? Will this penis eventually be cremated or put into a jar full of preservative?

And most importantly, who the h3ll is "THEY"???

In a related story, local headshrinker Mr. Magooboo is expanding his shrinkage business. His new logo will be a cockatoo surrounded by motto "Two heads are better than one."

So that's where it is...I've been looking everywhere.

or the dogs found the penis and dragged it to the house,” said Supt Bhembhe.

Dragged it?? How big was this thing? And do I need to make Johannesburg a travel destination?

casey-Excellent questions and *snork* at "doe"!

And also, just think how many individuals are on the donar waiting list. And here's a perfectly good one going to waste.

Maybe they can find a "Vagina Doe" for poor lonely Penis.

i think that guy a few blogs back found the "vagina doe" on the side of the road.

...also known as alimony.

geez...stevie lol

... um ... Pen!s "Doe" is ... um ... sorta an oxymoron ...

Ya see, a Doe does (does do?) NOT have a penis ...

HOWever, when that pen!s got shot off that Buck deer a couple of weeks ago, one of the first comments wuz, "It wuz a DOE!" ... and the response wuz, "Well, it still had horns [Technically, "antlers" but we'll let that pass, for now] and after it wuz shot, then it wuz sorta a doe ..."

Does do (a do does?), OTOH, have a vagina ... sorta ... if that's the correct anatomical phraseology fer a non-person type critter ...

Merely ... clarifyin' ...

So....Is there like. a time limit when we can purchase this for unpaid taxes and shipping? Never know when you may need a spare.

Sounds like jazzzz is looking for a foreskinclosure.

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