SOME STORIES CONTAIN SO MANY FASCINATING STATEMENTS THAT YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO QUOTE

This is one of those stories. If this blog had to pick one sentence, it would be:

Pane said she stopped being a dominatrix in January, following her arrest and the ensuing notoriety that made it difficult for her to get clients or pursue her main goal of working for a hedge fund.

(Thanks to Dogg Fish)

Comments

[Suzy Q]

First!!

[Suzy Q]

So, was she going above and beyond the doody?

[Suzy Q]

La, la, la! *twirls around the blog*

Look like I'm here all alone. Guess I'll hit the bar.

[angene15]

Not alone, Suzy, it's just some of us are quite speechless at the moment.

[Suzy Q]

Maybe I'll just dissect a frog with this kewl new kit I got.

[Casey]

"....as she squatted on a branch."

"...her main goal of working for a hedge fund."

I don't see the problem here. Looks like she was just fertilizing the hedge.

[Mike Antonucci]

"I told him I was uncomfortable going to the Bronx."

Right, because the wrong kind of people live there.

[CJrun]

And the blog gets back from wholesome Cincinatti, to H3ll's Waiting Room. Blog Bar is open early, what will you folks have?

[PirateBoy]

Nothing for me, I'll be going shortly.....

[vanityball]

She was uncomfortable going to the Bronx, but being a dominatrix, defecating on someone and performing sexual acts with a stranger is okay with her. Well as long as she has her priorities straight.

[Chaz]

He made her put the Hanky in Hanky Panky.....

[Clean Hands]

That was the line that caught my attention, too, vanityball. Says something about the Bronx, doesn't it?

[Christobol]

How would being a dominatrix interfere with hedge fund activities?

[AvidReader]

Some days, the jokes just write themselves, don't they?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I wont go to the Bronx either.
And poo ain't my scene.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Isn't Armonk nearby?

[Christobol]

Maybe now people will quit looking at me funny when they ask me to do something and I say, "Okay, but I'm not going to the woods and pooping on you."

[crossgirl]

wonders how much dominatrix pays.

[mudstuffin]

true i enjoy farts
but i don't play with myself
when someone lets go

vomit and boogers
are also funny and yet
no wind in the sail

did i get this right?
the lady was paid to poop?
i missed my calling

[pogo]

This sounds like the plot to a very dark Woody Allen movie.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

crossgirl - $100 to $300 per hour.
Depending on what the scene involves.

At least that's what they tell me.

[Bones]

"The Sexcapades" WBAGNF this band.

[ScottMGS]

Chaz: I think it puts the Mr. Hanky in Hanky Panky.

CJ, set me up with an egg nog and brandy. Thanks.

[Cheryl Howard]

My favorite line would be this He wanted to go to a motel in the Bronx where I would defecate on him, but I told him I was uncomfortable going to the Bronx. Right. Thats the part that would be weird.

[ScottMGS]

So, I'm wondering if some of this officer's fellow officers are going to get into any trouble for setting him up with Ms. Pane. They obviously knew about the problem and encouraged it. Not only that, they let her think that they could let her off of that pot arrest.

[Wendi with an "i"]

I guess that answers the age old question "Does a dominatrix s**t in the woods?"

[mudstuffin]

She's not a girl who misses lunch
Doo doo doo doo doo, oh yeah

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in uniform
With the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his
hands are busy working overtime
its his obsession which his wife won't indulge in
so he's on the ground

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
down to the cat box I left uptown
I need a fix cause I'm going down,

Mother Superior lost her lunch
Mother Superior lost her lunch
Mother Superior lost her lunch
Mother Superior lost her lunch

Happiness is a, a warm dump
Happiness is a, a warm dump
when you squat o'er that log
and make a doody just like a dog
Happiness is a, a warm dump
Happiness is a warm dump, yeah

[Triumph]

What a funny story, a truly inspiring tale, really, very good-
-for me to poop on!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Oh, I don't know Dave. I'd say the key line is "He wanted to go to a motel in the Bronx where I would defecate on him, but I told him I was uncomfortable going to the Bronx,"

So, defecation on a cop, no problem.
The Bronx, big problem?

[Stevie W]

Way to go Mud!!

She didn't want to go to the Bronx, so she said, "Why don't we doodoo it in the road?"

[Cheryl Howard]

Jeff, if you've ever wondered if there is a line that even a Domentrix wouldn't cross, now you know it's that of the the Bronx city limits.

[CJrun]

'Stuffin? Stunning!
Nice, stevie.

*pours nogs for the blog, sprinkles nutmeg*

[tyler]

Better Headline:

Conneticut coprophiliac cop gets a bum rap

[insomniac]

why do make fun of a woman who was just
(two-)plying her trade?

[FirstTimeCaller]

"The criminal trial resumes Tuesday."

I'm predicting standing-room only.

[tyler]

So, who do I got to shit on to get out of this parking ticket?

[PeeJay]

I wanted to take a dump
but no one was under my rump
I started to wheeze
it turned into a sneeze
and I wasted one good clump

[Punkin "I'll poop on you for free" Poo]

This woman has my dream job.

Oh wait, I meant nightmare job.

*Is actually partaking of REAL pina coladas w/ Mr Poo (whose name does not sound all that attractive after this story) hic*

[PeeJay]

and I wasted a perfectly good clump
(Please replace stanza #5 with this)

[Cheryl Howard]

Cheers Punkin & Mr. Poo!

[tyler]

I have been busted for weed before, it sucks.

I would have loved to shit on that cop and sue him for it.

[PeeJay]

I don't want to go to jail
I fear I will not make bail
So take a S#*t on me
but do not pee
I'll get you off without fail

[Stevie W]

She (was) released on her own incontinence.

[crossgirl]

stevie's on a roll!
eggnog please!

[Cheryl Howard]

snork at stevie!

*hopes someone has brandy for the eggnog*

[Jemmy]

The lawyer in the photo reminds me of that "Gordy" from the ABC Warehouse commercials.

[crossgirl]

that's a valid concern cheryl but probably not with this crowd.

[tyler]

'Among the evidence the prosecutor presented was the dominatrix's own feces'
I think they could bust somebody for turd burgularing

[Stevie W]

If she didn't sh*t
You must acquit!

[Johnny Cochran]

But, was it the feces that was present on the aforementioned day. Can the undigestred kernel of corn be traced to my client. Can you in no uncertain terms link the turd to my clients sphincter. If the s#@t does not fit, you must acquit.

[Punkin Poo]

Dominatrix: "How can you prove that/those are/is my fece(s)????"

Prosecutor: "Did you or did you not eat dinner the night before at Bob's corn shack??"

Dominatrix: "Damn."

[Punkin Poo]

Crap! (literally) Johnny C. and I think alike....

[PeeJay]

Weird coincidence of ideas stevie w. Should I be afraid. Very very afraid

[Stevie W]

she was charged with illegal dumping.

[Punkin Poo]

PeeJay - GET OUT OF OUR BRAINS!!!!!!

[PeeJay]

Maybe if you didn't have your head up your a** I would!

No malice mean't PP (snicker) I just couldn't resist

[casey]

BRAVO!

BRAVO!

Snorks & brandy all 'round!

[coprophilia cop]

Brandy! I knew there was a better way to get shit faced.

[CJrun]

*snorks @ Punk and Johnnie C. And turd burglar, Tyler*

There is a blog clock thing happening here.

[Cat R.]

Snorks to Tyler and everyone!

I'm picturing her explaining all this to her mother. And then her mother telling her to go ahead and report it.

Yeah, that sounds like a traditional Italian household.

[Siouxie]

In the spirit of Thanksgiving...I am sooooo thankful that I skipped this thread...

[Annie Where-but-here]

"A funny thing happened on the way to the forest..."

[Stevie W]

"I live in a traditional Italian household," she explained.
===========
I see a remake of "Moonstruck" on the horizon...

[Siouxie]

So...if a dominatrix sh!ts in the forest and no one's there...

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Your honor, I did not say to her, 'Wear a bare bum and take a sh!t.' I said, 'When a bear comes, shake a stick.'"

[Stevie W]

"I was in the mood for a little Wheel-of-Fortune. So I ask this chick if she'd take a few bucks in exchange for a little vowel movement. Next thing I know..."

[Siouxie]

Vanna-not-so-White now is she?

[Stevie W]

The bigger they are, the harder they fall...

[Siouxie]

*wonders if this forest was near Hershey Highway*

[Stevie W]

Plop in the name of the law!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Dear Donald, if you can sp@m a thread about a dominatr!x with such a nondescript comment, you are in the wrong place, quite possibly the wrong planet.

[Siouxie]

Donalt Rump?

[Siouxie]

TAKE TWO:

DonalD Rump???

[Siouxie]

wooooo hoooooo...uh...ewwwww ewwww I self-simuled in a yucky thread.

[Stevie W]

Reminds me of that great oldie by the Del-Vikings...

Dom dom, dom dom
Dom be-doo be dom
Dom dom, dom dom
Dom be-doo be dom
Dom dom, dom dom
Dom be-doo be dom
Come and go on me....