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November 24, 2006

FYI

There was an incident at the Miami Herald building today, but as far as I can tell everybody is OK.

UPDATE: Apparently the guy is still inside. They've evacuated the building.

UPDATE: TV is reporting that the guy has been taken into custody.

MAYBE NEXT YEAR

GOT A PROBLEM WITH GOLFERS?

Perhaps you need a toilet fence.

THIS COULD BE RELEVANT: Soap Lake is the home of the Giant Lava Lamp project. If you have never heard the Giant Lava Lamp Song, well, you have missed something.

GOURMAND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Did we already blog this? Maybe! Do we care? We don't think we do.)

November 23, 2006

NO THANKS!

A GREAT AMERICAN TRADITION

The WKRP turkey drop.

November 22, 2006

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

To all of you, from all of us.
Walterthanks

TRAFFIC REPORT FROM RUSSIA

Expect delays.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

SOME STORIES CONTAIN SO MANY FASCINATING STATEMENTS THAT YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO QUOTE

This is one of those stories. If this blog had to pick one sentence, it would be:

Pane said she stopped being a dominatrix in January, following her arrest and the ensuing notoriety that made it difficult for her to get clients or pursue her main goal of working for a hedge fund.

(Thanks to Dogg Fish)

ATTENTION, CINCINNATI-AREA FANS OF RICK SPRINGFIELD WHO WANT TO DO A GOOD THING

Dave:
If you feel like reading a story of the heart, maybe you can help me help Sahara Aldridge? She's a precious 12-year-old girl and I am rolling a tour bus out of Cincinnati with 56 souls on board to attend the Rick Springfield Benefit Concert December 8th in Cape Giradeau, MO. The S.E. Missourian has my story on their website, or you can drop by my place.
My Best,
Michael Manning

IS IT JUST THIS BLOG

... or is it warm in here?

(Also thanks to DavCat14)

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

If you can make it there,

You may be humor-impaired.

(Thanks to DavCat14)

WHY WE LOVE THE SOUTH

It's relaxed.

(Thanks to danceswithvowels)

WHEN THIS BLOG WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, THE BEST WE COULD DO WAS CHERRY BOMBS

(Thanks to Poop Dogg)

A CRY OF ANGUISH FROM FLORIDA

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(Thanks to Suzy Q)

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR SO FAR

Stark contrast, indeed.¹

(Thanks to Russell Mc)

¹Not that we are older bitter.

ALLITERATIVE HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

We're amazed that the writer didn't find a way to work in Peter Piper.

CRIME IN LIVINGSTON, MI.

Terror Stalks the Streets

"WHAT'S THE MATTER, DEAR?"

"I think I left Jason hanging in the toilet stall."

(Via Gizmodo)

WEATHER UPDATE

Miami is having a Brutal Cold Wave, with temperatures plummeting to the vicinity of 50 degrees above zero. We are under a Wind Chill Advisory, which is some kind of thing they issue to advise you that the wind could be chilly. Conditions have not been this bad down here since we were almost ravaged by Potential Future Hurricane Ernesto. We will hold out as long as we can. Pray for us.

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

November 21, 2006

YIKES

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

GOOD NEWS!

We think.

WHEN THIS BLOG THINKS BACK TO THE SIXTIES

....there is only one name that comes to mind.

UPDATE: Hard to argue with this.

COMPUTER TIP OF THE DAY SO FAR

Two words: Monitor care.

(Thanks to Chaim Schneider)

DOG OWNERS: INSANE, OR CRAZY?

We report; you decide.

Key Quote: Place some of their waste in the tent to introduce them to its purpose.

Right! No problem!

STILL NO TAKERS

WE'RE CALLING OUR TRAVEL AGENT!

November 20, 2006

24

There is no 24 tonight. Seriously, you need a life.

ALSO, THE BOY FLIES DEVELOP AN INTENSE INTEREST IN SHOPPING FOR SHOES

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

YES

CANADA

Land of Excitement

(Thanks to DavCat14)

HEY, IT'S BETTER THAN FRUITCAKE

(Via Gizmodo)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

RELATED BULLETIN: Briitney better be careful.

(Thanks to CK)

WE DON'T SEE HOW THIS CAN POSSIBLY FAIL

(Thanks to, as judi put it, "everybody in the known universe")

MEANWHILE IN CORNWALL

...the Christmas spirit is alive and wearing a tutu.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!

So to speak.

(Thanks to Mark Cantrell and Jim Gilboy)

SPORTS-FAN CHANT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

"Who's your Doody?"

ATTENTION ALL UNITS

WAIT A MINUTE...

...are they saying it's not dragon?

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

WHY MIAMI IS NOT LIKE WHERE YOU LIVE

Reason 2,038

November 19, 2006

ONE MORE BOOK-FAIR THING

Thanks to those who came to see the Remainders Saturday evening. We had an unusually random show, even for us. If you could watch Daniel "Lemony Snicket" Handler perform his accordion version of "When Doves Cry" or Andy Borowitz perform "Steppin' Stone" and not wet your pants, then you need a  urologist.

LACK OF POSTING

There has been one, and this blog is the first to admit it. But this is the
weekend of the Miami Book Fair, so this blog has been busy attending a LOT
of literary events with literary people discussing literary questions, such
as "Where is the men's room at this literary event?" and "Does this
literary event have any NON-light beer?" We hope to resume normal blogging
one these issues have been resolved, or on Monday, whichever comes sooner.

November 17, 2006

IN CASE YOU'VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK

Please see a counselor.

Also, you should know that this weekend is the Miami Book Fair, where the world famous Rock Bottom Remainders will be performing surgery sexually (well, we aren't sure what it is, but it certainly isn't music) publicly at 5 pm (or possibly 5:30; how would we know?) on Saturday, as well as (of course) at the Voices for Children event tonight.

THE HOLIDAY SEASON, RECONSIDERED

(Thanks to angene)

LEGAL PRECEDENT-SETTING CASE OF THE DAY

When is a doe not a deer?

(Thanks to Catherine, and wayyyy too many other people)

UPDATE citing The Princess Bride, thanks to Mike McNelis)

WHAT DAD NEEDS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

Dad needs a bionic hornet.

(Thanks to Jeff Arch)

REMAINDERS UPDATE

Ridley's checking out the sights of Miami.

Ridley_in_miami

WHAT DAD DOES WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

(Thanks to CJRun)

WHAT DAD DOESN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

And also, a good name for a rock band.

(Thanks to Clean Hands) (Really)

 
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