LEGAL PRECEDENT-SETTING CASE OF THE DAY

When is a doe not a deer?

(Thanks to Catherine, and wayyyy too many other people)

UPDATE citing The Princess Bride, thanks to Mike McNelis)

Comments

[Siouxie]

The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass," Anderson wrote.

ohhhhhhh well that's different...

[DavetheRed]

It may not be criminal, but THAT'S FREAKIN' NASTY!!

[Eleanor]

*waves hi to Siuoxie*

I'm too tired to register today. Could someone please summarize?

Thank you. :)

[Clean Hands]

It doesn't sound like our daughters have a lot to fear from this guy. Our livestock, maybe.

[DavetheRed]

Sex with a deer carcass pretty much sums it up.

[judi]

that's not a registration site for me, eleanor. sorry. i'll re-do it. or just read the UPDATE link :)

[Clean Hands]

Okay, a legal opinion citing Billy Crystal in the Princess Bride (GREAT movie!!!) is just too funny.

[Siouxie]

Hi El!!!!! well..it's a warmhearted story about a man who allegedly had sex with a dead doe (a deer a female deer). The argument being it's not an "animal" if it's dead - it's a carcass!!! Soooo the good news is...one could have sex with a carcass and not hafta worry! cool huh??

[estrogen centrale]

So, what, necrophilia is okay up there in Duluth???!

I hope it wasn't Bambi's mother. Just sayin'.
Or father, refering to the other item.

[Siouxie]

CH - I love that reference too LOL PB being one of my all time favs...

[Eleanor]

thanks judi, yes, the update said it all, along with Siouxie's fabulous summary.

I feel completely informed and ready to face another 80F day here in su.so.ca.

:)

[Clean Hands]

You left out the part where this same person was earlier accused of killing a mare so that he could have sex with it.

D'ya think he's got issues?

[Edgar Greenberg]

Nah, I know he's got issues.

[estrogen centrale]

"public fornication and lewd and lascivious behavior"

Doing this by the side of the road doesn't constitute any of the above?

[Siouxie]

El - we're in the middle of a cold front here in Miami - it was a FREEZING 67 degrees this morning!

*ducks snowshoes*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

(I know - I'm hacking up the dialogue.)

"True Love!!!"
"Inconceivable!!"
"I do not think it means what you think it means."

[Brainy Jello]

"I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case," Lucci said.

Minnisota must be really different.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Also:

"Hello! My name is Bambi. You screwed my mother. Prepare to die!"

[Cheesewiz]

Irony Alert!

'If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, "you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results."'

I think the defendant went down the slipery slope a while ago and is now in the valley of perverts.

[Siouxie]

My name is...Iñigo Montoya...ju keeled my fadder...preepare tu die!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Brainy got the key line, IMHO.

How many dead-animal-loving Minnesotans are there out there, anyway?

*snork* at Chris

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

(Am I the only one who thinks it's sad that Indigo is hawking cholesterol drugs?)

And I don't care if it's an animal, a carcass or a rotting log. You shouldn't be 'doin it' at the side of the road.

[blurk]

C'mon baby, don't just lay there like you're dead.

Oh.

[almne]

If this is the start of the "slippery slope", then what's at the bottom? Maggots?

[Siouxie]

um..blurkie?? you been datin' the wrong kinda woman...just sayin'

(they hafta be breathin)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Why don't we do it in the road
Why don't we do it in the road
Why don't we do it in the road
Why don't we do it in the road
No one will be watching us
Why don't we do it in the road

Whoops.

[estrogen centrale]

Siouxie, I think he's used to saying that line. It came too trippingly out of him.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

True Love saved her in the fire swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!

After you've been a carcass for a while, slime and putrescence would be accurate.

[Hammond Rye]

First they have to be human, NOW, they have to be breathing??? What's next, consent? Sheesh!!

[Siouxie]

Off-topic:

WOOOHOOOO CHERYL!! I just got your care package!! Thanksssssssssss! will be trying out that recipe soon. And may I say...those are lovely onions...

*will give Dave his 'little somethin'*

BOT:

[Ford79]

The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a fine of up to $10,000.

First he has sex with a deer. Now he's going to blow a few bucks.

*goes to wash out mind, and keyboard, with soap*

[Clean Hands]

***SNORK*** @ Ford

[Clean Hands]

Given the theme of today's threads, I am a little surprised that it wasn't a buck that he dragged off into the woods to have a party with.

NTTA - no, wait, there definitely is.

[Brainy Jello]

*LOL* at Ford. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Good one.

[KDF]

Ya gotta love a public defender who backs up his argument with a Billy Crystal quote. No further references necessary.

[Meanie the Blue]

Venison animal no longer an animal?

[Siouxie]

LOL Ford!!

uh..and then once in jail, his carcASS is in deep trouble ;-)

[DavetheRed]

Truth is stranger than fiction...I am constantly amazed by what people will do.

[estrogen centrale]

Excellent one, Meanie!!!

[Schadeboy]

If the legal definition of what is an animal ends when that animal dies, does this mean that I can tell PETA that I am not eating any animals at all when I eat meat? Does this mean that we are all vegetarians after all?

[Clean Hands]

Here's what this guy needs...

[Meanie the Blue]

Schade, I think your first question can be answered "Yes". But since we are no longer eating a live entity when we eat spinach, broccoli, etc., they are no longer vegetables and therefore NO ONE is a vegetarian!

[Siouxie]

so...we're just actually eating veggie carcasses?

[Schadeboy]

Can you imagine what this guy is going to go through when he gets to jail?

Inmate: So...what are you in for?

Deer banger: I had sex with a dead deer.

Inmate:

DB: It was on the side of the road, and the urge just overcame me.

Inmate:

DB: You know how it is, right?

Inmate: I was going to tell you to bend over, but I think I'll pass.

[Siouxie]

LOL CH and the freshly cut penis!

[Cheryl Howard]

I'm taking a wild leap and guessing that Thanksgiving won't be at his house this year.

[Schadeboy]

Cheryl - if it is, I think the best advice I can think of is don't eat the venison.

[DavetheRed]

*SNORK @ Schadeboy

[Cheryl Howard]

Or the stuffed turkey....

[crossgirl]

oh deer, what the buck?!

[Hammond Rye]

Stuffing the turkey at Thanksgiving at his house is probably a festive event.

Lord, I apologize.

[Clean Hands]

In what I hope is an unrelated development, I just came across this photo from the world of pro wrestling...

[Siouxie]

"stuffin the turkey"??

is that what they call it now?? or in his neckadawoods...

[Punkin Poo]

Annie- It's almost 70 degrees in York, Maine today!!

I LOVE global warming!!!!

[Clark Kent]

I think the fact this freak's name is out there for everyone to see is probably punishment enough. I mean, he will NEVER get a date with a woman after that.

But then, I guess that was the problem in the first place....

[Siouxie]

No frozen toesies today for Punkin??

[Clean Hands]

Yeah, Clark, but it's only helpful if the deer and horses can read...

[Meanie the Blue]

Clark - but a woman is no longer a woman when......

[Siouxie]

dating blurk?

[Siouxie]

*calls the Witness Protection Program*

[crossgirl]

this is disturbing on sooooooooooo many levels. wonders if anyone (ch?) has come up with any fetish sites for people who enjoy the company of carcasses.

[Meanie the Blue]

Geez, Siouxie, I thought I was sticking my neck out there, but.....

[Siouxie]

huh??

[Meanie the Blue]

C-Girl, without having ever looked I absolutely guarantee that such sites exist, in more forms than you would ever wish to imagine. The most unbelievable, unthinkable stuff has been dreamt of and put out there.

I learned that the day I stumbled across a site discussing the best ways to kill mice and freeze them for use in cocktails.

[Cheryl Howard]

A mousetini please, shaken not stirred.

[Cheryl Howard]

*also, its tough to tie their little tails in knots when they're frozen*

[Meanie the Blue]

*clink*
*squeek*

[crossgirl]

oh. my. i think i'll be skipping lunch today. and sex.

[Bill]

Gives a new meaning to the phrase "animal lover."

[Cheryl Howard]

crossgirl, I think its the blog bar happy hour that one should be weary of today...

[PirateBoy]

When his co-workers and friends read about this, there isn't a chance this guy will get a date to the office Christmas party.

He's going to have to go stag.

[Cheryl Howard]

snork @ Pirate boy!

[Siouxie]

BLOG BAR SPECIAL TODAY:

Chocolate Moussetinnis & Frozen Cosmousepolitans

*served with assorted cheese tray*

[Olo Baggins of Bywater]

/not funny/

RIP, Bo.

"Those who stay will be champions."

[Clean Hands]

CG, I may click on many varieties of ambiguously-labeled links, whether out of curiosity or whatever, I can guarantee you that this is one variety of site I've never come across.

Do I really come across as that much of a perv? Sheesh. ;-)

[crossgirl]

i thought it was a permit that you needed to remove roadkill, not a pervert.

[Hammond Rye]

Anyone for Mousaritas?

[KDF]

Blue, I googled and the cocktail mice info was far too easy to find.

Oh. My. Freaking. G0d.

*keels over, avec la souris* (YELLOW for "you have got to be frikkin' kidding me")

[Siouxie]

CH?? you?? a perv???

um...

[Mr.Fisher]

and so, uh, what if the animal is just "playing" dead?

[KDF]

/also not funny/

Olo B of B - my brother just called me with that sad news. The man was and is a legend, and coincidentally, lived next door to my parents.

[Cheryl Howard]

KDF, totally funny comments onthe link. I love "Rodent on the rocks"...we need to add that to the blog bar menu!

[crossgirl]

who is bo? i'm assuming he wasn't the deer.

[Clean Hands]

While we're toasting notable departed, please join me in raising a glass (mouse-free, thankyouverymuch!) to Milton Friedman, the most influential economist of the 20th century.

[Siouxie]

Cheryl?? look up...already added to the menu ;)

KDF -ewwww I mean who in the world would want liquid nitrogen anywhere near their drink??

*goes over to the 'who's bo?' corner*

[Cheryl Howard]

*joins Sioxie in the corner*

[KDF]

cg, Bo Schembechler was a legendary college football coach, and was head coach at the University of Michigan from 1969-1989. He died suddenly this morning, one day prior to the much anticipated game between Ohio State and Michigan, both of whom are undefeated this year.

[blurk]

Siouxie,
If and when little blurkette ever gives me permission to go on a date it will definately be with a live woman. Although I may call her dear.

Now, I'll give you a headstart before I start shootin'.

[Siouxie]

um...I'll make sure to tell her Mr. blurk, sir.

[Clean Hands]

Okay, maybe not a perv, but definitely sick. How do I know? Because this made me laugh out loud.

[Siouxie]

ROFL!!!

[Siouxie]

whoops...

blurkie...you know I love ya!!lots and lots right??

so...start shootin' tomorrow k??

*will use Dave and the RBRs as cover*

[crossgirl]

ch that is just terrible!!!!!!!!
stifled snorks

Hello. My name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father.  Prepare to die.

[Clean Hands]

The way she's looking converned into the grating in the last frame just gets me. LOL. I'm a bad person. Sign me up for the next bus to Hell.

I think we all know what the drink of the day at the bar there is going to be. *yech*

[Mikey123]

To quote from another thread:

Two Words:

Ewe and ICK!

PS IS this guy from WV? Just askin'

[Meanie the Blue]

Fear not, my rodent brothers and sisters!

[estrogen centrale]

Siouxie, if blurk is going to be shootin' at you tomorrow, I'm thinkin' that maybe this concert wouldn't be the best time to meet. CJ, watch out!!!

[Siouxie]

LMAO Meanie! that's a classic!!

[Siouxie]

ec - chicken!!!