HEADLINE-OF-THE-DAY STORY THAT WE WOULD MOST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR POSTING

(Thanks to John Bunyan)

Comments

[Annie Where-but-here]

I think it's 'nip & tuck' or 'nip & tickle' or 'nipple & zip'...

[Annie Where-but-here]

Triple-simul followed by a double-gainer....and we have lift-off!

[Clean Hands]

No! No zipper near the nipple! Nonononono!

[Siouxie]

ooooooohhhh shiny!!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Ancient Chinese Proverb - Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.

[Annie Where-but-here]

CH - have you ever um, been to Brazil?

[Clean Hands]

Why does mah mouf tafte like foo leffer?

[Clean Hands]

Personally been to Brazil? No. See folks what have been? Uh, sure.

[Siouxie]

*wooozie from the simuls*

WAIT!!!! no fair, blurk!

hmmm care to take his place??

[Clean Hands]

Oh, you mean... OH!

Oh, gawd, this is going to be hard to explain to Mrs. H.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Who prepped this patient? Get me the hot wax, stat!

[Siouxie]

*RRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP*

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

I'll take one from colum A and one from colum B.
I'll cover him for foo leffer and creative use of defibrillator.
Someone else will have to take sharp things and zippers.

[Clean Hands]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[blurk]

I've done all I can do, Clean.
They're like sharks who smell blood.

Wait, that IS blood. Dude, you don't look so good.

[Clean Hands]

"How was your day at the of- what's that smell??"

[Clean Hands]

DPS, you lent them those "restraints," didn't you?

[Siouxie]

*thinks Mrs. H will like you with a little less hair*

hehehe

[Clean Hands]

*whimper*

[Siouxie]

*ahem*

we have our own.

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

Nope. The restraints are safely put away.
Safe, Sane and Consentual, or...
"No toys for you! Two weeks!"

[Siouxie]

ohh well darnit! It's time for me to go home...

CH, don't move k?? I'll be baccckkkkkkkkk

bwahahahahahaha!!!

[Clean Hands]

Did you SEE what they DID to me, DPS???

Does this look sane to you???

[Annie Where-but-here]

Oooh, a "CH-section." Was it good for you, too? :)

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

Ya know, some people pay good money for treatment like that.
The only thing that seemed out of bounds to me was the egregious use of the scalpel.

Think you'll be OK on your own for a few hours? I've gotta go be a dad for a while.

[Clean Hands]

They defibrillated me! Is that SAFE?

OMG, I'm going to have a nasty CH-section scar, aren't I?

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

Defibrillating is safe as long as the jolt doesn't cross your heart. You can quite safely but the pads on your leg and make your quads or hams twitch with no problems at all.

I'm pretty sure they didn't put the pads anywhere near your heart.

[Annie Where-but-here]

CH - you will...once the swelling goes down...eventually....if you're lucky....

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

'put' not 'but'

[Annie Where-but-here]

Siouxie told you about the 'no s3x for 3 months' rule, right?

[Hammond Rye]

Sorry we weren't there for you, CH. Here, take two of these for pain (hands CH bottles of single malt scotch) as necessary.

[Clean Hands]

Thanks, HR.

AWbh, how did you guys know?

Oh, you mean the next three months, too? Dammit.

[Siouxie]

BACK!!

uh...CH?? while you're down there...I think Mrs. H would appreciate it if I, um..make sure she didn'tt get pregnant again??

I promise it won't hurt a bit....much.

[Clean Hands]

She's already taken care of, Siouxie. They made the appropriate adjustments in the process of her last C.

[Siouxie]

Alrighty then!! guess you're all set! ;-)

NEXT???!!!!!!

[Siouxie]

hmm no takers huh??

*chicken*

[crossgirl]

damn, i miss all the fun.

[Siouxie]

crossgirl, I think all the boys are hiding now.

think we were a bit harsh on CH???

[Cheryl Howard]

*tears in my eyes*

This was the funniest thread I think I have ever read.

[Mr. Completely]

*wanders in*

Hi, girls! What'd I miss?

Hey, what's that smell?

[Annie Where-but-here]

It's the smell of degradation.

[Siouxie]

LOL it was fun

[Siouxie]

ohh...nothing much Mr. C

CH may be walking funny though...but pay no attention to him.

[The Dread Pirate Scrooge]

I'm back.

mmmmmmm degredation.
Two scoops on a pretzel cone please. Nothing sharp and hold the zipper, please.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Hey, pal - I don't hold the zipper for just anyone.

[Mr. Completely]

Ask not for whom the zipper is held;
It's held for thee.

[Mr. Completely]

(p.s. Hey, did anyone notice the proper use of the semi-colon there?)

(p.p.s. I'm so an@l I wonder if an@l-retentive is hyphenated.)

(p.p.p.s. It is.)

[CJrun]

Ouch! I'll stick with my NEW 6 BLADE RAZOR!

[Siouxie]

*cluck* *cluck* CJ

[Siouxie]

Mr. C;
I; am; sure; you; know; the; proper; use; of; the; semi-colon; I; sure; don't;.;

[Layzeeboy]

Lying on a stump...masturbating beside a nature trail....what a PERFECT day...Wait a minute.....I've had this awl wrapped in electrical tape up my a$$ for more than a week...screw it, the buzz us gone now

[Layzeeboy]

To all the women bloglits of the female variety, episiotomy and CSection scars (I've done both) are badges of honor. Wear them proudly. Display them on holidays. Well, maybe not the latter...but be proud of them still. Any man worth his salt would be proud that you have them.

*looks over at Mrs. Layzee's stretch marks while she's sleeping and smiles*

[Clean Hands]

OooooOOOooooOOOOOoooooo... my aching head. Whu'...?

OH, MY GAWD!