WHAT TIME IS IT?

It's... OVULATION TIME!

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

[Punkin "ripe eggs" Poo]

How did you know???? *brandishes rifle*

Get back you evil inseminators!!!!!!

(And you know who you are)

[Meanie the Blue]

Uh-oh. Game ova.

[OkieDokie]

*running far and fast from any possiblity of more children*

[Layzeeboy]

IANMTU I recently read a legitimate published study that showed that women subconsciously dress sexier when they're ovulating. No need for this fancy gizmo. Just wait til she's displaying bazoomage.

Punkin, Evil Inseminators WBAGNFARB.

[Siouxie]

*shudders at the THOUGHT*

I'm scrambling MY eggs...

[OkieDokie]

snork at sioux - I think scrambled eggs may be the reason my kids are such little monsters.....

[random thunking]

Mebbe I'm a little slow... Seems to me that if a couple wants to get preggers, then they should get nekkid and get busy. Simple as that. Who needs an Ovulometer when you've got an Evil Inseminator in yer pants.

"Stand back, honey, this thing is gonna blow!!"

[Meanie the Blue]

Maybe that's what this is for?

[Wyo Cowboy]

"hold still, honey, while I stick this USB cable in your..."

[tropichunt.com guy™]

random: Um...wouldn't something that's gonna blow be..um...counter productive to reproduction? :)

[puppytoes]

eh. i traded mine in for one of THESE.

okay, i lied, sort of. i actually bought one of those Sleeptrackers for my adorable-yet-lazy son, but it didn't help. which kind of makes me wish the Ovulator had been available before i got pregnant with him, if you catch my drift (and i'm guessing you do).

kidding. (no bad pun intended)

[OkieDokie]

pup - we wouldn't trade the little darlings for all the tea in China, would we? :-)

[Punkin Poo]

Ya know, this might come in handy if I ever decide to have a child ON PURPOSE. (Instead of the "what do you mean it broke", way)

[Siouxie]

Okie...although I hear the tea in china IS pretty good...

My little darlings...I AM joking. No. Really.

[blurk]

I don't drink tea. Ya got any other offers?

Happy Monday!!

[DavetheRed]

*Runs away from wife screaming*

NOOOOOO more kids.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

For Entropy Agent 001, it would definitely take more than all the tea in China. EA002... I'll give ya him for a box of Raisin Bran.

I'm kidding, of course. Although he IS the best form of birth control available. I could rent him out for, say, $20 per night.

[Siouxie]

Chris, my second daughter was my own form of birth control...after having her and a scare...hubby went "snip snip".

[Chaz]

Dave, I want to thank you for plugging my FAV 80's music group, PRINCE AND THE OVULATION! They rocked it hard on songs like "Purple Rain", "Darlin' Nicky" and "Lil Red Corvette"...

great mamories....

[Siouxie]

Morning blurk!

coffee then??

[Chaz]

Hubby went "snip snip".

Posted by: Siouxie | 10:53 AM on October 16, 2006

Chaz's "boys" just shrieked...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Chaz: Despite what you think...it ain't that bad. Really.

[Chaz]

well, I am still holding out hope for a child...but I have to tame the inner child first

[Meanie the Blue]

Doesn't sound like he's very open to the idea of a Chazectomy.

[Siouxie]

so sorry, Chaz :-)

Tell the 'boys' they're safe...they can come back out now...

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Tropichunt - Siouxie wrote that Hubby went "snip snip". I watch a LOT of shows on the DIY network, but I've never seen that in an episode. So my reaction was still "OMG!!!" I think I need a nurse to get my "boys" back out of hiding.

[Chaz]

they are crawling back down...slowly...

chaz to bys "no snippy for a few more years at least, guys. I promise"

[Chaz]

nurse?...lol...or a pirate wench, eh?

[Siouxie]

Chris, ya know what I meant. He didn't exactly self-snip. His 'boys' were probably up near his tonsils at the time ;)

[Chaz]

nice visual.... ;)

[blurk]

Siouxie, coffee would be great! Hold the vasectomy please.

[Meanie the Blue]

If you have to hold the vasectomy, then something ain't right. I'd check the warranty.

[blurk]

Meanie...shhhhh....almost had her fooled.

[Edgar Greenberg]

I wonder what would happen if you put the watch on a man.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

TDPC: Boy...there's so much I could go into on this particular subject.

I'll stay quiet.

And coax my boys back out, too. :)

[Siouxie]

I'll git yer coffee but you hold yer own... :-)

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Taking Dave's great setup and abusing running with it...

Scene: Princess Summerfall Winterspring on her back singing
It's ovulation time
It's ovulation time
Bob Smith or Howdy Doo
Please cum here one of you.

I gave some rousing screams
I am pregnanat it seems
My preiod is late
Inseminate!

So I'm not the one who usually does song parodies - sue me.

[blurk]

EG, since the gizmo is designed to mark the best time for intercourse, I would imagine if you put it on a man an alarm would sound every time a Shania Twain video came on.
Or perhaps when the words "Last Call" are heard.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Just to see how accurate it was, cause most men don't ovulate. But I suspect the watch would have a few false positives.

[Siouxie]

oh tropic??? I volunteered to help out at the "hunt".

I think I'm in charge of checking in the single men...right judi?? :-)

[queensbee]

um, can they just sell this with the vibrating condoms, maybe as a set.

[insomniac]

a marvelous girlfriend was Myrtle
and bedwise in no way a turtle
for no lack of tryin'
her low chloride ion
kept her from becoming quite fertile!

[Cheryl Howard]

Souxie, I can relate. If I even think about getting pregnant, I am pregnant. Joe fianlly went to the doctor to get tutored neutered. I bought him the godfather trilogy and a fifth of whiskey to help take the edge off.

[Layzeeboy]

DP, in a previous career I was a Surgeon's Assistant and we did thousands of them. One guy I worked with did his own so I guess it could be on the DIY network. If yould like I can email you detailed instructions.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Ummm... No. Thanks anyway. I don't really see a point (one of my best friends fathered two more kids after his wife had him fixed), but if I ever do, I plan to have it done by the best-looking female urologist I can find.

[Ov]

Sorry I'm late...

[Meanie the Blue]

$99.00 for an egg timer?

[Layzeeboy]

I worked with this old urologist who, as he was about to anesthsize the critical area always said, "OK, you're gonna feel a little pr!ck down here." It was usually good for some major snorkage from the patients.

[Dad-O-Lot]

*snork* at Meanie.

IANMTU -- In Austin Texas there is a urologist named Richard Chop who does quite a few vasectomies. Most people call him by the standard shortened version of Richard -- Dick.

[Juggler of Geese]

A friends Brother in law just had the snip snip done, His wife wanted a very large family and he couldnt afford to take a fourth job to keep food on the table and pay two mortgages for the wife, three kids and two pets. He was required to go through counseling in his church and was told by his priest that he was "damaged goods' and was no longer welcome at the church his family goes to. of course, the not being able to go to church is not a bad thing, but his wife wants another child and is thinking of a male donor program since the father can no longer provide the male half. There are times I am glad we have pets.

[Scott]

True story - I spent two years as managing editor of Urology Times magazine (yes, such a publication exists). A female urologist once offered to give me a free vasectomy because she enjoyed an article I had written. I did not take her up on her offer, though I did have the big snip-snip done last spring, and as TropicHunt.com Guy reports, it's absolutely no big deal...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Siouxie: Um...I'm married. :)

Scott: I asked a urologist why he went into that particular field. His response: "Because it's (urine) the only bodily liquid that comes out sterile."

[Siouxie]

Tropic: I knew that! just letting ya know I'll be there to help...really. :-P

[Liana]

Juggler-
I thought vasectomies could be undone- it's supposed to be easy to do.

Also, it's no church's business if a married couple, esp. one that already has kids, decides to take measures to not have any more. Sheesh. I hope they can find a more sane place to worship.