THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

Snake rustlers.

Comments

[Chaz]

not another snake thing

[shredder]

In case these bandits show up at my house, I'm going down to the pet store and buy me one of the "17th most deadly snakes in the world" so I will have them outgunned

[Punkin (nit picking) Poo]

Wouldn't worm rustlers be lower?

[OkieDokie]

shredder - good idea. it never hurts to be prepared in today's world.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Bad news Punkin.

[almne]

HA! I hope the stupid gits get bit!

[Punkin Poo]

TDPC - Yup. They're lower.

And probably yellow bellied and lilly livered, too!

[Siouxie]

A bite from a Collett's snake, apart from being potentially fatal...can also kill you.

Good morning! I have now had 2 cups of coffee and I'm ready to GO!...uh...dunno where but I'm ready.

[Clean Hands]

Are we sure that they were worm rustlers?

Perhaps they were representing the Obanese Worm Liberators... and I don't think that OWLs consume worms, usually.

[blurk]

I've never been much in the way of thievery but if I WERE gonna steal sumpthin' I believe I'd try and find items that don't kill ya.
But that's just me.

Mornin' all.

[Siouxie]

Mornin, blurk.

I'd go for CASH or something shiny...but that's just me...

[insomniac]

"Collett's snake is the 18th most venomous in the world."...

according to the BCS (Bite-Chomping Snakes) poll...

[baligurl]

Having been to Australia and, more importantly, having read "A Sunburnt Country", I know that EVERYTHING there will kill you.

[Philintexas]

Not disclosed in the news story was the fact that the snake rustlers also made off with Valerie's Viper. Though not the deadliest snake (it only ranks 163rd in Barry's Most Dangerous Snake Handbook -- Danger In the Air and on the Ground or in the Toilet!), Valerie's Viper is one of the less sought after snakes as a pet because of its penchant for biting its victims on the butt as they sit on their low-flow toilet.

[sthnbelle]

bali - I loved that book!! Laughed almost as much as when reading one of Dave's!

[Kathybear]

Snakes, why'd it have to be snakes? Who knows where they're going to put the loot anyway? None of the loot is native to Australia, so I'm wondering why they had to import venomous since, as Baligurl said, everything in Australia can dang near kill ya...I'm on my 2nd cup of coffee, BTW...

[mudstuffin]

Hey, c’mere, wanna see something funny?
C’mere, c’mere, set yourself down, sonny.
I’ll tell ye a story that chill your young bones
make you cry for your mammy and run away home
‘tis a story about a young buck like you
just knockin’ about with nothing to do
but raise hell tryin’ to get drunk and screw
and breakin’ up bar fights and startin’ a few.

On a hard-luck night he was drinkin’ a plenty
and he stumbled into the arms of a lass about twenty
her tattoos shoulda warned him but he paid no mind
Little Richard at the helm – and he was sailin’ blind
he went to her apartment and flopped down on the floor
he passed wind and drooled , and then began to snore
oblivious to his surroundings or the trouble he was in
for he had offended a witch from the house of Slytherinn.

She dragged him to the alley and left him with the trash
the rain came in icy buckets as the lightning flashed
she drew her wand and with a flick said “fiat serpentus rectus”
then with a smile like a crocodile she added “serpentus pregnus”
he lay unconscious through the night and never a muscle moved
he woke stiff as roadkill and in his head, thundering hooves
he vomited and cursed himself and he cursed the powers that be
by now I’m sure that you have guessed that the unfortunate lad was me.

Yes, it was a snake that she had inserted in me a55
a pregnant snake at that you see, so if the snake does pass
another takes its place, and it’s born pregnant too
one snake after another, always in me wazoo
so I’ve spent me life down here on thievery and booze
oh, if I could do it o’er again a different path I’d choose
so gimme a dollar, bucko and I’ll show you what you came to see
hey come back here, damn you! That story wasn’t free!

[blurk]

*hands mud a dollar and quickly backs away*

[Siouxie]

*knew this was coming*

*tosses a few bucks over to mud* BRAVO!!

[Clean Hands]

I do believe that might be your best offering yet, mud. When is the book coming out? And what's the title going to be?

(Somehow, "Anal Snakes," while it might BAGNFARG, might not work so well for a book, I'm thinking...)

[Siouxie]

"The Anals of Snakes"

[MrBill]

The answer to the problem is obvious. To stop the snake rustlers they need to start branding them. Right?

[DimWitte]

MrBill, the rustlers or the snakes?

Mornin' all!

[mudstuffin]

"My Name is Mud"

[CJrun]

Mud be Fab.

[muffles]

"A bite from a Collett's snake, apart from being potentially fatal, is known for being extremely painful and can cause long-term illness."
Anyone else thing the snakes are really harmless and Chad Staples is just having himself a good time at the expense of a few theives? Just me? Ok then...

[Kristina L.]

Muffles, I think that's a good idea. Although there's something like poetic justice about thieves getting bitten by something they stole.