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October 18, 2006

TESTICLES MAKING NEWS

If you are a man, do not click here.
If you are a male turkey, do not click here.

("Thanks" to DavCat14 and Siouxie)

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OUCH...

and first

Gobble gobble. Ouch!

Guess we can't call him lefty....


And speaking of these dangly bits -

Hubby and I and another couple went out to dinner last friday night. The other hubby ordered the "Mixed Grilled Game" platter. It contained alligator, buffalo, kangaroo, ostrich and Rocky Mountain Oysters....OH, and they had frogs' legs for an appetizer...

Well, both men decided to eat try "oysters" - being the manly men that they are - and my hubster tried to get ME to eat one. Yuk. Well, I hate seafood, so he was saying "But they're not seafood, why won't you try one?"

So, I knew the only way to make him stop goading me was to yell out - in the crowded restaurant - "Because they're frikkin TESTICLES!!!!!!

He slid under the table.....but he no longer pushed the issue.

YAY! of all the things I send in, figures THIS would get posted...thankie!

*does the turkey dance*

oh and OUCHIE!

turkey testicle festival, turkey testicle festival, turkey testicle festival!! wonders if it's a byob party. (bring your own balls)

YUCKYPOO! I don't blame you...ewwwwwww

YAY Siouxie! You and I got posted a day apart!

(Scarey, eh?)

Punkin, the oysters are actually pretty good, if they're well done.

*decides to sell all of his nail guns* *cheap*

vewwy

hehe...

Bet the roofer doesn't have the balls to try THAT again!

Punkin - the hubby response if the Dreads had had that conversation: "You've chewed on mine. What's the big deal?"

Re 1st article: I prefer to nail my wife.

Punkin....ewwww.

I will eat no huevos or menudo forever.

*wonders if the roofer slipped before or after he nailed his danglies...*

BIG OUCHIE!!

August Voegl, 59, from Jennersdorf, shot the four-inch nail into his left testicle with the compressed air nail gun.

Soon to be the basis for a reality show on Spike TV.

TDPC - ISIANMTU - My first response to him was "I just lick 'em, I don't chew 'em"

He turned purple on THAT one...

Where's CH with an Ambiguously Labeled Link for really painful things done to dangly bits?

Bet the roofer doesn't have the balls to try THAT again! - Fivver

Well, maybe just one.

Now this is a segment of "Fear Factor" that I would avoid!!!

*EXTREMELY unfunny post*

"Councilmen Bill Shenko and Garr Reynolds had brought up the issue that the name was inappropriate for a family island."

You gotta be sh!ttin' me! The last time I checked (not that I often do) "testicle" was the appropriate scientific name for the dangly boys. Using their reasoning, are we to start calling certain pieces of delicious fried chicken...I dunno...upper abdomen parts?! What about the buttstock on a rifle? Does that now become...let's see..."the part of the gun that goes on your shoulder"
Give me a friggin' break!

*End rant*

*vows to switch to decaf...or not*

lol fivver...

Baron, just what I was gonna say (type)!

And another thing....

Just think about the logistics for this to have happened...
he has to be aiming the gun between his legs for some reason....or he had no pants on and the boys just swung into the line of fire...or he's (was) so hung, that they just spread out into dangerous territory...

Or (most likely), he's as dumb as a box of hair.

Shoot, if you've ever eaten SPAM...

Siouxie...

Great minds think alike... or at least come from the same gutter.

Blurk - you mean it's wrong that, in the meat section of the grocery store, I yelled to my wife, "Do we need chicken t!ts?"

Also, do I need to stop calling one of my favorite meals "masturbating cows"?

They requested that the word testicle not be used for the name and the accompanying advertising.

They did, however, approve the name "Schweaty Balls Festival".

Chris,

Chicken tits: Approved.

Masturbating cows: Notsomuch.

hmmm Chris? what would that meal be?? just curious...

blurk, don't switch to decaf, too many people already have, and now we have to say things like NTTAWWT, just so's nobody ever gits their feelins hurt.
/rant

Masturbating Cows = Beef Strokin' Off

ohhhhhh...ewwwwwww

Ouch. Bet he's gonna switch from boxers to tighty whities now.

Tom Turkey Testicles WBAGNF....nuthin', really.

*snork* @ DPC!

What ewwwwwwww? It's good.

Wyo, you are absolutely right. I'm gonna stop sayin' NTTAWWT when I really DO think TSSWWT. All the bloglits know I'm lyin' anyway.

*pours another cup of coffee...extra caffeine*

Chris, I like the meal...just not the visual ;)

When asked by an interviewer what it was like to have John gone for so long, Mrs. Elway commented that she knew he was anxious for him do get home, as he hadn't had any of her stroganoff for several weeks. In Denver, that little sound bite got a LOT of play.

What do you call a cow that has just given birth?

De- calfinated.

Oh, and you would be surprised at what some guys do to their testicles. I once had a patient who tore one of his out and threw it across triage (ISIANMTU).

Gobblers' Bobblers' Festival?


i'll never make stroganoff again.

blurk, i work for a plumber and we are not to refer to ballcocks or nipples when in the company of ladies for fear they may be offended. present company excluded of course.

That sound bite would probably be true no matter which way you choose to inperpret it.

*notices all male bloglits crossing their legs*

ddd - wowsa!

crossgirl- and did you notice that pilots aren't calling it a cockpit anymore? It is a flight deck now.

funny wyo, That's right up there with Dick Vermiel's wife saying that "her and Dick had a really good session and he decided to retire from coaching".

I thought blurk might have been referring to beef jerky?

A sumul with crossgirl and she was talkin' about ballcocks and nipples.

*has a smoke and a beer*

Life just don't get any better.

*snork* at lance

reminds me of one I heard...a female co-anchor asking the weatherman... Where are those nine inches you promised me??? (meaning snow of course)

pass that beer blurk- been a while since mmy last triple.

Turkey Balls Ball?

anybody else ever hear the story about Neil Armstrong's cryptic transmission from space, "Good luck Mr. (I can't recall the name, so we'll say Smith)?

or maybe not :-)

uh...blurk??? ya'll weren't alone...geez...


*chopped liver*

That reminds me I need to trim that female reproductive area tree in my front yard.

That's more like it Siouxie- and you were talking about 9 inches- see how it made mme stutter?

woooooooo hooooo...here we go!

ddd made up for it :-)

I must have sent this in late....right boys

Seems that when Neil was young, he overheard a neighbor couple arguing about s3x. He was trying to get her to perform something she wasn't gonna do. She supposedly saw Neil out the window and said, "when that young man walks on the moon, I'll..."

at least that's the tale I heard.

Holy cow!! Blog orgy!!!
*Passes out beer to all participants*

Here are some more suggestions:

"Genitals Festival"
"Bird Balls" festival
"Turkey Yarbles" festival
"Look Mom, No Nads" festival
"Snip the Swingin' Sack" festival
"Severed Genitalia" Festival

I'm trying to picture how this happened. I can only assume August was sitting on the roof as he worked with the nail gun, perhaps even stupidly using the nail gun between his legs. Pretty reckless and I'd say a definite Darwin candidate. Was he working alone? Was no supervisor there to tell him not to work that way? What sort of training did he receive before somebody put a nailgun in his hand and put him to work? The article fails to answer these and so many questions.

Oh, and...OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I believe Mr. Voegl is a member of the Prince Albert Roofers' Union.

LOL at DPC

Wyo, if'n that tale ain't true it sure as hell oughta be.

"Look Mom, No Nads" festival

*snork* mud's back!

blurk - You have a Uterus tree?

Wyo, I heard that one too lol...guess the old lady finally had to...uh...

Bill, those are some interesting questions. But does one really need a supervisor to actually say "Oh, and one other thing, don't nail your balls to the roof?"

Lance Armstrong only has one 'nad and look where it got him. We should probably expect Mr. Voegl's career to become wildly successful now.

it was either a bush or a youteerlippedus tree.

Wyo - I heard that one too.

blurk - I had a tree like that too. It even has a dark patch of bark resembling short&curlies. I'd post a crap cam pic of it but the ex got the house.

Punkin, yes. It's right next to the bush hedge.

*passing on a beer before lunch*

I just want to know what words some of you have set up for google news searches. Or maybe I don't...

I'm surprised that nobody else has commented on the fact that he had to be airlifted to the hospital.

I mean, we're talking about a relatively minor soft-tissue injury here, on the "is this life-threatening" scale of things.

Okay, I'm having a hard time believing that I just wrote that about a guy nailing his nuts to a roof, but still.

Oh, and 3D, just what sort of illicit drugs was your nut-chucker on, anyway. Good gracious!

CH, I pray to God and Jesus and all them apostles and stuff that I'm never stupid enough to nail my balls to a roof (or anything else). But is by some improbable chance that were to happen I would most definitely insist on an airlift also. Forget about the guy needing a heart transplant; ya gotta have priorities.

CH - as I've said before: "some people are into that." Got any experience with Ambiguously Labeled Links?

*changes "is" to "if" and resumes shuddering at bad thoughts*

Nope, this is one area that my, uh, research has never led me into.

Okay, this seems to be an appropriate thread for this. Last night my daughter was looking through some funny t-shirt designs on the web. I saw this one and started laughing. I couldn't stop for about 5 minutes and my stomach hurt. It just sums up so much of what we talk about, here.

That's one heck of a slip. And, wow, my mind is often a dirty place, but stroganoff...never picked up on that one before!

Scott, stupid firewall got me. Ya gotta describe. Pleasepleaseplease. This sounds good.

Scott, that is frikking hillarious.

I particularly like the little ruler and the offer to help you with your size...

"I'm with stupid"
[arrow pointing down]

CH - be glad no one has ever asked you to research CBT. That's supposed to be Computer-Based Training. Turns out, it doesn't always mean that. And the firewall let it through. Oh My.

Siouxie ...thanks for teh SNL reference...I was gonna post that too, but I was late to the party

Olo Bags, I use this program" to find interesting stuff, and that way I don't have to enter compromising words into google.

But how can he be stupid? I mean he DOES do all the thinkin'.

Come to think of it, Chris, I have seen links along those lines, but thankfully, they've been relatively unambiguously labeled. I think I've only found myself looking at one such site ever.

It was enough.

*now sitting with legs tightly crossed*

Wyo, what a wonderful idea! I worry about the search terms left sitting in my Google toolbar sometimes, I really do.

Are you guys tellin' me your searches can be tracked??!!

Uh-oh.

Like right now, I have "worst music video ever," left over, I suppose, from the FREAKING SCARY Finnish "music" video link from yesterday.

Thankfully, though the search terms linger, the earworm from that video has faded. Currently, the voices in my head are singing some Loreena McKennitt; very nice.

Hey, blurk, maybe that shirt should go with a pair of underwear saying the same thing but with the arrow pointing up.

Browser cleanup is pretty simple now with Firefox. Not that I've ever needed to cover my tracks in a hurry before.

blurk, your searches are not only tracked, they're blogged at Cheyenne Mountain. (you only think they're closin' it down.)

Scott, that makes more sense.

When they start singing in Finnish, then I'll get worried.

Finnish is a devlishly tricky language, and I'm pretty well convinced that learning it drives 100% of its speakers at least to the brink of insanity.

blurk, I dunno how clearly he can think...he is, afterall, surrounded by a pair nuts...

Be right bloglits. I have a CPU that's got a date with a sledgehammer. Damn ambiguously labeled links.

Insert a "back" up there. See how worried I am?

DPC, Firefox is definitely the way to go. haven't used Microcrap in a long time.

I use Firefox at home...Exp here...dunno why.

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