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October 24, 2006

SHIP OF STOOLS

Stay off the poop deck.

(Thanks to Wyo)

Comments

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After 3 days, I think EVERY deck would become a poop deck.

(And stay away from the so-called "Chocolate Buffet")

No toilet is not a problem on British trains. Why is it a problem on a boat?

YIKES! don't be swimming in THAT pool!

Just be glad that they didn't have a case of that stomach bug that has been infecting cruise ships lately. That could have gotten really messy!!!!

She was unable to confirm how long the toilets had been out of action for.

Paging Mr. Language Person. Mr. Language Person, please dial 7448.

The team of 10 experts will be working through the night... .
That's not all they'll be working through!

Wonder if the passengers went over the side of the ship? out the portholes? (poop deck was already taken)

now all man's urine's lapping over my shoes
the swimmin' pool is full of passenger's ooze
so be my guest for numbers ones and for twoa
won't you let me take you on a sea cruise?

p.u. , p.u baby, p.u...p.u baby
won't you let me take you on a sea cruise?

What they didn't mention was that Mr. Twigg had been constipated for a week before embarking on this cruise. He was much more comfortable after passing a turd that he later said was "the size of Newcastle."

That the plumbing problems followed soon after was a complete coincidence.

ch - notice to next ship in shipping lanes :"that ain't an iceberg"...

i have this song...one of my fav...Robert Poots, right?

Beware of the Pu Pu Platter.

Holy sh*t!!

No.. that should be Holy Chiti

Based on the math for cleaning up poo on British trains, this situation sould cost ~£9000000 to remedy.

I'm glad Noah didn't have this problem.

Mayhem is not a good word to describe 1450 people on a boat for three days without toilets.It does not do justice to the situation at all.Might I suggest odiferous goat f**k.

Ron - Yes, I do believe I remember that from our lifeboat drill....."In case of odiferous goat f*ck, it's every man for himself. And remember, the crew has weapons."

I smell many pending lawsuits . . .

First things first: Yay, Wyo!!

Now,
"A spokeswoman said: "The team of 10 experts will be working through the night to ensure that the problem will be sorted."

How does one get to be an expert on the vacuum system of cruise ship toilets, and how the hell do you round up 10 of 'em?

*channeling the great lyricists who hang out here

I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
I've got to be free, free to face the pipe that's ahead of me
On board, I'm a crapin', so climb aboard
We'll search for plumbing on every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to hold on

I look to the bowl, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot for turds
But we'll try best that we can to hold on

A gathering of poo poos appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come flush away, come flush away
Come flush away with me
Come flush away, come flush away
Come flush away with me

I thought that they were poo poos, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their toilet and headed for the skies
Singing come flush away, come flush away
Come flush away with me
Come flush away, come flush away
Come flush away with me

DPC, that was... psychedelically scary.

Wow.

Just wow.

I'll be curled up under my desk, if anyone needs me.

Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of stools
Five long days I been holdin' it in
when I saw the state the cabin was in
the carpet was soakin'
but I walked in like a fool
what looked like a snake squished beneath my shoes
Chain, chain, chain, chain of stools

Every chain has got a weak link
I might be weak child, but I'll got enough strength
I told you to clean it up
and snake out the drains
or I'll introduce you
to a whole new world of pain
I'll add you to the chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain,
Chain, chain of stools

One of these mornings the chain is gonna break
But up until then, yeah, I'm gonna take all I can take
Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools

Ew.

That is all.

Stain, stain , stain (Stain, stain , stain)
Stain, stain , stain (Stain, stain , stain)
Stain, stain , stain (Stain, stain , stain)
Stain, stain , stain Stain of stools

For three long days
I thought this was my cruise
But I found out, we’re just a holdin’ our stain
Oh, they got us where they want us
We ain’t nothin’ but their fools

"The team of 10 experts will be working through the night to ensure that the problem will be sorted."

"Heh, this one goes in the 'Toilets Getting Even With Mankind" file

*dang it*
Sorry, mud. Guess I shoulda hit F5 before I hit Post. (got interrupted while working on the lyrics)

Ship happens.

yes, mr pirate person, i flagged the same sentance for mr language person. i thought the brits knew how to write their mother tongue. guess i was wrong.

My friend has a poodle that won't go outside if it's raining. He just backs up til his butt hangs off the porch and cranks one out. That's what I'm picturing with all those passengers. Talk about your "moon" light cruises.

I have this song...Robert Poot right?

sorry...my bad with the double post

There's Brown Trout runnin' out by the Canaries!

Would that be considered flotsam or jetsam? I always get those two mixed up.

"Look 'ere Maude. An ad for a cruise to the Canary Islands for only £389. Wot could possibly go wrong?"

Things could just look up at the great Poop Deck in the Sky. (I didn't realize that it was located just behind the big dog).

lab -- technically, it would all be "jetsam" ... since all the "byproducts" would be "jettisoned" ... so to speak ...

As to "flotsam" ... only the material that floats would be "flotsam" ...

Sorta gives new meaning to the phrase "That turd won't float ..." doesn't it?

"One couple, Derek and Lorraine Twigg, from West Yorkshire, boarded the ship as a birthday treat."


Happy Birthday, Baby!!! I'm thinking about remodeling the loo at home. Want to??

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