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October 31, 2006

PYTHONS

They're not so tough.

(Thanks to chicomathmom)

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Not so tough, a little chewey, but with the right sauce.....

And a little sea salt..

And you're not supposed to cut their heads off, or you lose the natural juices.

Sssssssssssmothering is the way to go...

*realizes she is becoming desensitized to snakes after a year on the blog*

The sssssssssear it?

Adds a "n"

insert "python" for "Norwegian Blue" into the Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch and a classic takesssss on a new life.

So how big WAS it?

python, fava beans and chianti. It's whats for dinner.

*tries unsucessfully to link Hoedown for dinner music*

June:

You all ready? Please give Eddie Haskell a chop from the bloglits.

Was she shaking like a Lief?

go mudder! it's your birthday!
go mudder! it's your birthday!

a-ight - let's do this

you know twice in one day mudstuffin don't play
he ain't got the time to manufacture them rhymes today
gotta earn a living but the blog is unforgivin' givin' me the snake posts - challenge my boast
that I would write a new pizzle about a snake up my wizzle
everytime a new rhyme - I'm losing my mind, like Kevin Federline - don't read the next line
that python was fine - the feeling sublime
I told not to read that, don't be hatin' my rhyme
you act so refined but your act is wack you'll find
you rap like a white dude and you dance like Frankenstein.

go mudder! it's your birthday!
go mudder! it's your birthday!

I rhyme about them snakes, now matter what it takes
I've blown them up and shot them out and wacked them with a rake
I turn them into boots, a smelly pair of boots
I revealed the legend of how they got my coal chute
I even tried to quit and wrote "the last butt-snake"
'bout one that died and nearly crashed an airplane in a lake
but the quittin' didn't take - I gotta rhyme 'bout snakes
Leonardo meant to paint the canvas, Pavarotti to sing the song
and I don't stop the butt-snake poems till I'm dead and gone


Yes Dear. :)

Also, stage blood stains the skin. Good to know in case one has an important business function to attend any time in the near future.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me, but the snake didn't do anything. And Casey, you've been dining with Dr. Lector again.

guess dad waasnt taking the snake back in after it ran away

Standing O [ooooNoooooo] for Muddy Stuffs!

Ya know, the neighbor didn't let anyone know the snake had run slithered away, but even so, when I discover a snake as thick as a man's arm snuggled up under MY sofa, my first instinct is not to stop and say "Hmmmm, poor lost snakey, I wonder who may have lost their beloved pet", NO, MY first instict is "Shovel - meet mr snake's head" WHAM!!

(THWACK first, ask questions later)

Typical guy - "Oh, yeah, it's huge!"
Dimensions? Metric? Nordic? Noooooo - nuthin. Just "it's huge."
sigh.

Well, yeah, I have to agree PnknP - I don't like snakes anyway. You're right,they do eat our pets. Just the thought of it makes by blood bo......yikes, anger management time again....

No wonder us girls have no sense of measurement...just sayin'.

Alligators eat our pets, too. And Coyotes.

Thick as a man's arm equals decent-sized, not huge rattler. Thick as a man and a constrictor, now you're gettin' me nervous. Silly vikings.

I was in the woods with two gals and one said 'Oh CJ, you're going to want to see this.' After I and the other gal had joined her, we were each standing a couple of feet apart and had an abundance of diamondback in view. Biggest durn viper I have ever seen. Just my luck, walkin' in the woods with two gals and one of the girls asks me if I wanna see her snake.

Well....did ya?

CJ, if ya did, please don't tell us.

I'll bet CJ didn't even measure it.

Annie, why would he measure it?
Size doesn't matter, right?

Sure, blurkie. What you say.

Wrong, Annie, but of course there were two gals there so you'll say that affected the whole measure thing. Between the three of us, we were about 6-feet apart, with diamondback to spare off either end. That puppy was at least 8-feet long, which I've never heard of, outside of Texas; certainly not in Florida. At it's thickest, maybe 6-inches in diameter; the calf muscle of a very stout guy, or the calf of a distaff Wal-Mart shopper, just below the stretch pants.

snakes...I can handle snakes...'distaff Walmart shopper in stretch pants'....*shivers*

Oh great! I have to stop at Walmart and buy ammunition candy for the little curtain climbers that'll be knockin' on the door.
I see stretch pants in my future.

*blech*

*blech*?

*Thinks blurk needs to lay off the DCon*

Ohhhh, nice preparations there, blurkie. I have what I thought was a mountain of toothrot, including Gummy Body Parts [you GOTTA get the Gummy Body Parts], but it's so dark so early I'm afraid I will get wiped out before 9pm. Heck with the older kids, I just wanna get through the ones that have to be in bed before 10. Oh gawd, here they come....

*Is handing out job aps with pencils to late night crowd*

blurkie - I see stretch pants in your future...but they're not yours...?!?

OK, the doorbell works real well, even on the adolescents. However, I must not say 'save some of the good sh!t for the little kids' anymore.

The snake has ceased to be!

So they cut the snakes head off, does this make the son Jewish? Probably not, but I feel sorry for the snake. It wasn't the snakes fault the owners where jerks.

Al, if your gonna rant, rant at the poachers and breeders that sell these. Not the obvious end for this one snake. Even people I know that take good care of snakes wind up with racks of tanks like a snake firewood pile. What kind of life is that? *hates me some poachers and breeders*

No candy for them!

*snork* 5-year old girl cheerleader: 'I'm a cheerleader for TEAM AMERICA!' *dances around* And what with the pom-poms, no candy grabbers, so I had put candy into the bag around her forearm. Hmmmmmm, garter belt and $1 bills in her future? [I'm so bad].

Her mother will be so proud.

Snake on a plate!
It's what's for dinner.

Well, I ain't June with Cleaver, but my neighborhood is so lame, I'm the best on the block. That doorbell [scream, from speakers behind them, then spooky music] is a hit and everbody seems to be keeping it a secret from the new arrivals. The Dad's know it's hokey [and wish they had done that], but the kids love it! These city folk just aren't used to something you don't grab from Target.

Evening all you guys and ghouls!!!

I'm FINALLLY home! just finished handing out candy to the local monsters lovely children...

Happy Halloween, SS!

Happy Halloweenie to you too Ducky!!

Sio: Handing out, as in past tense and not from your front door now. I'd razz you, but know you also did your part for the Hunt. I'm in an apparent Hellion Lull. They'll be back!

I'm counting the number of pirate urchins that come to my door--I've had 3 so far. One was all of 2 years old, and decked out from head to toe--pirate hat, eyepatch, red satin vest, and teeny sword. WAY too cute.

Cj, I KNOW they'll be back!!! my own darling daughter is at a friend's house...doing her own candy run...I'm just hangin' in here waiting to go pick her UP!

Fun thought. I'm in one of those neighborhoods just outside of the tall buildings and everybody has a 1/4-acre lot of grass, tract-home, and grass. I have giant dahoon hollies that cover the front yard and a tunnel carved out along a winding path. It's really purty, but I heard kids going down the street and one of them said 'Jason lives there.' Bwahahahaha!

Happy Halloween! My Grandmother (we had to call her that, too) used to keep chickens, for the eggs) would call my eldest son and talk about farm life when he was about ten. I always knew when she had found a snake in the henhouse from his side of the conversation: "What didja do, Grandmother? Give it the hoe?"

Bali, that quote is so much better if you're sure she wasn't talking about Grandfather.

Happy Halloweenie to you bali!

Earlier this week, Fox was posting House at 10pm. They are now saying 9. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Cj-- The door bell is inspired. Tunnel. You didn't tell me about the tunnel. Freakin cool!

*Sigh* We just has our first blood-curdling-I'm sleepin-with-the-night-light-on-forever scream.

Good times.

OK kiddies...come and get it...I'm running out of candy!

The tunnel is there, everyday. My landord hates it, but I do it to keep the heat off the house [south side]. The west dahoon crawls over on top of a flower encrusted hedge that surrounds a mailbox painted with tree-frogs and Birds of Paradise. From the previous owners. I have kept the wildy painted walls [salmon, lime sherbert, and turquoise], the stained glass windows, and now, two tunnels; the front walk and all the way down the west side. This one shrub that approaches 20-feet tall where I let it, I have taken a sample to the oldest, savviest nursery near me. Still don't know what it is, but it has fireworks of white flower, reminiscent of honeysuckle. Next year, they get the full length tunnel.

Jasmine?

*totally jealous of CJ's shrub* Er I mean...

P.S. Annie. 20 feet.

Rhetorical question - if you run out of candy, is it really that wrong to send your kids out trick or treating again to restock your own candy?

Just wow. House started up lamely, tonight. Didn't finish that way. Boy! I have many candy to eat. *texts the gals the chocolate, including the Hershey's Special Dark*

CJ, I happen to like Special Dark. You're not sexist, are you?

Apparently, he's textist. :-)

*thanks CJ for the chocolate*
Yummmmmmmmmmm

Wyo, yes that's wrong. Annie, yes that's wrong.

*texts Gummy Body Parts to bloglits*

Update, past 10pm in St. Pete. It was all adolescents, except for a couple of groups of chillen. The little kids, in every case, were proceeded by a diesel 250 arriving on the block. That will be my surviving impression of this neighborhood; 250s and nobody gets far from their air conditioner. How wierd. All of those 13-year old boys need to start building their 16-year old cars, soon. New mission: boys building cars in the garage, no boys crawling in through the house windows on weekdays [fantasy; this is the City]. My old buddy Davey Crockett builds the fastest car in two counties for his grandson, but hippy motorhead buddy and I need to build some competition. Even though we already know his [hippy's] grandaughter has the strongest Mopar in the Bay area, but she's only 12; every inch, built ourselves. The local boys deserve at least a shot, some idea of which end of the wrench to hold. They took too much candy, but they were polite.

Air conditioning?

June, you're in Oregon. Yes, I sat in a meeting today, after a 3-hour drive, with a bunch of wheezing asmhatics, in an air conditioned trailer that I convinced them not to demolish. Any way you can get their attention! My office is the same way, freezing! There was not a single kid, a 25-year-old, in the meeting I was in, today. I am not quite certain where the next generation of project managers are going to come from, but I'm pretty sure they were on the tractors outside. I'm guilty too, I couldn't get one of the kids from my firm free for that meeting. So they really need to build dragsters.

No-energy-left; early meeting today and early morning tomorrow. Please scare your share.

Thanks, CJ. I'm more of a Mr. Goodbar fan myself. Ghouls still coming out here in SoCal. Nearly nonstop for 2 1/2 hours now. So many heathens! When will the madness end? Oops - doorbell!

...please...please...somebody turn off their porch lights...I don't wanna be the first to do it....too many monsters! ...sucking life from my bones...surviving only on Almond Joys and 7up...eerrrp!

..excuse me.

*snork* at Ducky's 'textist.'

just got Cheryl's '20-foot' reference.

this has been a long night.... :)

Annie, give the monsters your snake-on-a-plate. That'll show 'em.

AW - Are you STILL looking for Mr. Goodbar?

My doorbell's still ringing too - now it's just teenagers tho.

I personally prefer the Bit o' Crack Honey.

not a single trick or treater here tonight. It's nice to live "down town" sometimes.

*snork* at stevie

So, Wyo, do you have a large, uneaten supply of candy left?

not any *burp* more.

so I've got this new "contract" comin'up. I'll be DJ'ing once a week. what should I play?

(country, classic rock, oldies)

Darn it!
*hoped for more chocolate handouts*
*pouts*
*heads upstairs to brush teeth thoroughly, then go to bed*

Nighty-Halloween-night, all!

*pauses*

DJ-ing sounds like fun. You named all my personal favorites, but for what type of crowd will you be playing?

*looks around, realizes she's alone, turns off light and goes upstairs to bed.*

Once upon a suburb dreary
While I pigged out, weak and weary
Came a rapping, sudden tapping
On my frontal door.
Only this...and nothing more.

What was this, this noisy blunder,
To interrupt my gorging plunder?
Trick or treat? I'm done - no one gets more!
Not a bit - now close the door.

Still they came, the ghouls all whining
Somehow knew I'd be there, dining.
Hiding with my beauteous sugar store.
Turn out the light, and close the door!

They came and took and came and took,
A princess, pirate, Captain Hook.
And all they left me, like before-
Was a tootsie roll...and nothing more.

very good, Annie. too bad it was so late in the day.

Ditto, kiddo. Very nice indeed. BOO!

Change of subject: Wyo, wouldn't it depend on the client(ele)?

tap tap tap
on Annie's window pain
don't worry
we have all been lonely before
you'll be all right

Morning all! I just had Butterfinger an Reeces for breakfast. The diverdowndog is lying on the floor and I just heard her stomach make a sound that sounds like, "uh-oh".

Yesterday when I came back in from getting the diverdowndoclings of to school, diverdowndog was walking around the house with a Charms® Blo-pop in her mouth with the stick sticking out. Looked like she was having a smoke.

Update- I just found out why her stomach said uh-oh, because we are sitting in a greenish fog of dog-fart, now. *grabs gas-mask and Febreeze®*

Good morning!!!

Annie, VERY well done! I vaguely remember another version of The Raven from you?

Wyo, my suggestion is DISCO!!! *runs away*

ddd, dear GOD woman! EWWWWW no candy for doggie! what a nice visual (smell-a-vision) in the morning ;)

Mornin Sioxie- the air has cleared somewhat with a little help from the fan. Any more spooks last night?

Nope...I have lots of leftover chocolate. I'm taking that to work so I don't get to it ;)

I'm off to the shower now - catch ya all later from work...

Big yawn [gag! on texted dog fog]. Reece's and a Nestle's Crunch, here.

Mornin' y'all ... din't mention it prior (no time) but my second daughter's Halloween costume this season wuz dressin' up as Dr. Acula, Phlebotomist ... hospital scrubs, stethoscope ... and of course, bloody fangs and dribbles down one side of the mouth ... perty clever, fer a non-bloglit ...

um ... she's 31 ... no evidence of "maturity" as yet ... I'm so proud!

No Walmart stretch pants yesterday!! The candy was right up front and on sale for all us guy type dudes that wait until 5 pm to stock up for the 6 pm trick or treat start time. It was in and out in 5 minutes.

BTW, the candy gun works great!! Some of the little tricycle motors who made it through the barrage were a little surprised to see my very large dog who was helping me pass out the kiddie crack.

Please help with bail.

*tosses a blog buck for the blurk defense fund*

*snork* at diverdowndoc's lolli-pup. Been there, cleaned up that.

Siouxie - Thanks - I did a Raven version after the Cardinals lost to the Red Sox in the WS a couple years ago. During one of the last games, there was a creepy lunar eclipse, the sky turned red....I was in the moment. It's on my blog -A Yankee Fan's Lament.

What? Per Pethon was beheaded?

ill tell you one thing, when my snake gets loose in public they don't call the police, women swoon

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