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October 24, 2006

SHIP OF STOOLS

Stay off the poop deck.

(Thanks to Wyo)

FIRE REPORT

Bad Panbanisha! Bad!

(Thanks to Matt Blackstone)

ADVISORY TO COMMENTERS

The comments thing doesn't seem to be working. We have absolutely no idea what to do are working on this problem.

UPDATE: OK, apparently the way to fix the broken comments thing is to post an advisory that the comments thing is broken.

EXCITING NEWS ON THE SNAKE FRONT

Give it up for Dip Chiti.

ADVISORY TO RESIDENTS OF CHINO

Stay out of bed.

INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT OF THE MONTH SO FAR

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

YIKES

October 23, 2006

24

The trailer comes out tomorrow. But we don't need no trailer. We have Steve.

FAIR PLAY

Since we posted one just for women, we have to post this Good News For Men also.

(Thanks to CoastRaven)

ATLANTA AIRPORT UPDATE

So I'm waiting to get on the plane, and the pilots arrive at the gate, and
as they walk past, one of them says to the other -- this is a direct quote
-- "Hey, it flew in, it'll fly out."

HERALD HUNT PREVIEW III: THE INFO

In response to many requests, we bring you the following important information:

"The main stage will be at Sunset Drive and 58th Ave."

Also:

On-street metered parking is available on SW 73 St and SW 74 St - east of South Dixie Highway.

There is a a municipal lot at SW 58 Ave and SW 71 St.

And, $5/day parking is available at First National Bank of South Miami, SW 73 St at SW 58 Ave

ADVISORY TO ANYBODY WHO IS THINKING ABOUT FLYING INTO OR OUT OF THE ATLANTA AIRPORT

Don't. Just don't.

ATTENTION ALL BRITISH UNITS

Be on the lookout.

(Thanks to AmerInParis)

WORST HALLOWEEN-COSTUME CONCEPT EVER?

We report; you decide.

(Thanks to DavCat14)

VAGUELY RELATED LINK: Why Dogs Hate Halloween

(Thanks to Barbara Condenzio)

UPDATE: Now dogs are fighting back.

(Also thanks to DavCat14)

UPDATE RELATED TO THE FIRST ITEM AND HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH DOGS: Worst Halloween-Yard-Decoration Concept Ever

(Thanks to Nachum "Nachum Hurvitz" Hurvitz)

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO EXPOSE ONESELF TO OTHER CULTURES

One can learn.

(Thanks to Neva Cheatwood)

A SHOUT-OUT OF GRATITUDE

...to the Daily Barometer.

(Thanks to Dan Traylor, editor)

THIS BLOG'S STRICT RULE AGAINST MAKING FUN OF NAMES

...is observed with special rigor when the person involved is deceased.

(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)

HERALD HUNT PREVIEW II

The Prompting

In which the s.b. reports that approximately 30 people are way smarter than we are (having solved the puzzle without receiving the solution from the people who created it). You too can still win a coupon and some other stuff. Just click the link, and do whatever it is that will solve the puzzle. (We would tell you what that is, but we lost the email with the answers, and we don't remember how it works.)

MESSAGE TO THE BLOG

Sir --

Thank you for going out of town. We are happy to be able to blog this item while you are away. Do not click the link, please, sir. You are already using fruity shampoo.

In grateful appreciation --

All the ladies of the blog

(Thanks to annette gaudreau)

WHY WE NEED GUYS

Guys have confidence in technology.

QUESTION FROM A GUY IN A HOTEL SHOWER, SQUINTING TO READ SOME TINY PRINT

When the hell did shampoo become "Hair Wash with Thyme and Sage?"

Hair wash? With thyme and sage?

October 22, 2006

DANG!

We are too late to bid on these official 24 thigh-shot pants.

(Thanks to Joe Wurdack)

SNAKE UPDATES

The Toronto snake is still missing. However, Slim has been found, as has a rental-van constrictor.

October 20, 2006

WAIT, WAIT, DON'T TELL ME

Be on the lookout for a special guest pundit on this week's show.

BABYSITTER OF THE MONTH

When this woman says it's bedtime, it is bedtime.

(Thanks to MOTW)

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Matt Blackstone)

AMERICA

It's a great big country.

Check out the specs on this baby.

(Also thanks to Claire Martin)

UPDATE (Via Gizmodo): The Bottom Buddy

SOON TO BE A HEARTWARMING MOTION PICTURE STARRING JIM BELUSHI, UNLESS ADAM SANDLER IS AVAILABLE

 The Knicker Vicar

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

AND THE SO-CALLED "UNITED NATIONS" DOES NOTHING

MEANWHILE, ON THE BRASSIERE FRONT

...we have these developments.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Austria takes action.

(Thanks to many people)

October 19, 2006

DON'T FALL FOR IT!

The old "lost hamster" ruse.

ATTENTION, ADVERTISERS LOOKING FOR AN EXCITING NEW MEDIUM

Consider the Dog Toilet.

UPDATE

The story about the Marquette University Humor Impairment Zone apparently made the news last night.

Update: Another story here.

Update: And here.

FINALLY, A SCHOOL WITH THE COURAGE TO CRACK DOWN

No more tag at Willett Elementary.

Key Quote: "I've witnessed enough near collisions."

(Thanks to Brian Andrews)

WHEN PEOPLE ASK THIS BLOG: "HOW DO YOU STAY IN SUCH EXCELLENT SHAPE?"

This blog responds: iGallop.

(Thanks to Sthnbelle)

October 18, 2006

HERALD HUNT PREVIEW

The world-famous and sometimes terrifying Herald Hunt will take place in South Miami Sunday, Oct. 29, starting at noon. There will be complete instructions in that day's Miami Herald. If you're not familiar with the Hunt, you can find tons of information at the official Hunt site and at this amazing site, maintained by Andy Wenzel, a.k.a. Andy The TropicHunt.com Guy. (His nickname dates back to when it was known as the Tropic Hunt.) Thanks, Andy!

We know many of you Hunters are already deranged excited about this year's Hunt, and we decided to give you a chance to stretch your brains a little by trying to solve an online, pre-Hunt puzzle. If you solve it, you'll win a coupon worth a dollar off the official 2006 Herald Hunt T-shirt. You'll also get a chance to win four T-shirts, and a coupon from our sponsors, Bodies.

Speaking of bodies, here's a hint for solving the puzzle:
Botero   

As you are no doubt aware (Ha!) this is a statue by the artist Botero. Seems a bit incomplete, doesn't it? Which brings us to the name of our online puzzle: In Search of the Total Man. To solve it, you need to go to the Miami Herald site, MiamiHerald.com. We've hidden four clues on that site; once you find them, you should be able to figure out the puzzle. Or not! Good luck.

ONE MAN'S OPINION

Dave Barry Must Be Stopped!

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE ALL NEED TO LEARN CPR

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

TESTICLES MAKING NEWS

If you are a man, do not click here.
If you are a male turkey, do not click here.

("Thanks" to DavCat14 and Siouxie)

GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

Snake rustlers.

October 17, 2006

BECAUSE OF OUR STRICT POLICY AGAINST MAKING FUN OF NAMES

We will be unable to provide a link to this item.

(Thanks to Art Chimes)

ALSO, THEY DRIVE HUMMERS

(Thanks to RussellMc)

WAIT! BEFORE YOU DISPOSE OF THAT SWINE CARCASS...

Get the facts.

(Thanks to Peter "Elegant Rap Fan" Flanagan)

MOTORIST OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Punkin Poo)

WHO SAYS THE DAY OF THE GREAT MUSIC VIDEO IS OVER?

Not us.

(Thanks to Dave Naithani from Germany)

JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE JUDGED

Yeah, okay, but don't you agree that anyone who eats this deserves exactly what he or she gets?

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

AND THE SO-CALLED "UNITED NATIONS" DOES NOTHING

(Thanks to Jeff Arch)

EXPLODING COW UPDATE

Does this mean we lost?

 
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