HEADLINE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Matt Blackstone)

Comments

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Drunk bears make the best eating since they are pre-marinated.

[Clean Hands]

Anything involving an inebriated bear will eventually involve a firearm, as well.

Right, blurk?

[Clean Hands]

/off topic

As a Red Sox fan, let me just say:

"YAY CARDS!"

off topic/

[Siouxie]

"generously fed him with vodka mixed with honey and pushed him into a field," the newspaper quoted the letter as saying.

"Naturally, a heavy, drunken animal became an easy target. His Highness Juan Carlos took Mitrofan out with one shot,"

THAT's pretty lazy, even for a King!

(It's good to be the King, eh?)

[Philintexas]

It's tragic that they don't have the right to arm bears in that country.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

vodka-spiked honey

Is that why Pooh always had extra fluff in his head?

Also, vodka-spiked honey sounds like it might end up as tonight's dessert. Yum.

[Siouxie]

lol Phil!

Chris, I will admit that does sound quite tasty ;)

[Meanie the Blue]

So does the King shoot in the woods? Was the bear Catholic?

[UnderMinor]

Q: Can a bear find a John in the Vatican?

A: Nevermore.

[Chaz]

Drunk Lion, Drunk Tigers and Drunk Bears..OH MY

[blurk]

CH(way up there ^),

Just about any event can be made all the more interesting/exciting with the addition of firearms.
Inebriated bear hunting (the bear not the hunter) would certainly be at the top of the list.

[Siouxie]

OH *HIC* MY, Chaz :)

[blurk]

Come to think of it I've had some experience with being inebriated and bare.
Oh, BEAR. Well, that's different.

[Siouxie]

mebbe King Carlos went huntin with Dick Cheney?
and thought the bear was a laywer...it could happen...

[Siouxie]

that would be lawyer...laywer is something TOTALLY different!

[almne]

I didn't even know Spain had a king. Learn something new everyday.

[casey]

WARNING: UNFUNNY COMMENT AHEAD

I am not opposed to hunting in general, but these people that drug animals so they can shoot them and mount them (ha!) just make me sick. Like those ranches that import and drug exotic animals so some fat-a$$ can come blow it away. It would seem that hunting is attractive because of the thrill of the hunt and maybe even rewarding when you can feed your family with your kill. Hunters out there, tell me...is it the thrill of the hunt or the thrill of blowing up some drugged, frightened, helpless animal so you can poke it's dead eye and see it's blood and guts? I simply don't get it. What is the appeal?

END UN-FUNNY COMMENTS. Booger

[Siouxie]

hmmm on THAT note...I'm off to eat some non-hunted tacos ;)

[blurk]

casey, all firearm related kidding aside, people who do that need to be shot themselves.
And then shot again.
And maybe poked in the eye.

[casey]

Yeah, ok, I just re-read my comment....maybe a little too graphic for the lunch time crowd. Sorry.

[casey]

sork again at blurk!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

UNFUNNY ANSWER
I hunt to put meat on the table. I do not now nor will I ever have an animal's head stuffed and mounted on my wall. The hides are useful for making clothing and blankets, and the antlers (I only hunt deer) can be worked just like wood.

I don't so much "enjoy" hunting for hunting's sake. I enjoy eating tasty animals. I enjoy knowing that the meat I'm eating did not get fed a diet of drugs and hormones and genetically-modified Frankengrain.
END UNFUNNY ANSWER

I have noticed that the deer that feed on the fermenting fallen apples in the local orchard taste different than the ones that feed in the meadows.

[casey]

Sork? what is that? did someone shoot my "n" then poke it in the eye?

[crossgirl]

what about those people who drug women so they can mount them?

if anyone needs me, i'll be looking for some vodka to add to my honeybear.

[casey]

Hey, DPC, can you give me a good recipe for venison? My neighbor that hunts for the same reasons you do (which I have NO problem with) gave me a big ole leg and I have no idea what to do with it. Any suggestions? I have had venison in the past, most of it really good, one time, really bad, but I have never cooked it myself.

[casey]

Crossgirl, I just blew sushi chunks outta my nose. MMmmmmmm, wasabi!

[DavetheRed]

Honey bears drinking vodka again?
or bare honeys?

[blurk]

casey, I read your post asking for venison recipes and was in the middle of a mouthwatering little daydream involving various stews, steaks and roasts.
Then you shot raw fish outta your nose.
Thanks.

[crossgirl]

ouch!

[casey]

you are most certainly welcome blurk. let me know if I can do anything else to ya. Oops, sorry, I meant FOR ya.

[blurk]

I'll let ya know, casey. Just maybe another topic if it's all the same to you.

[crossgirl]

i would say that i like venison sausage but you guys would make fun of me.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Crossgirl: people who do that should be sent to prison for life, where they will be chained @ss-up to the bed in the conjugal visit room.

Casey: treat it like a roast beef.
I soak mine in beer for an hour or so before roasting at 300°F until it's done. It needs to be "done" since it is wild game, but if you OVER cook it it will be horrid. Throw in some onions, carrots, spuds and fungus at the appropriate time and make add water if it looks to be drying out.

[Bill]

That's nothing, I once shot a drunk bear in my pajamas....

How he got in my pajamas...well, actually I know how.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

"and make add water"???
Good thing today is Friday.

let's try this:
"...and make sure it stays wet. Add water..."

[blurk]

casey, also if the venison has a particularly strong "gamey" smell (which transfers to taste) I marinate it in milk for a few hours and it takes a lot of it out.

[Bill]

Casey--you might also check to see if your neighbor or your local butcher (if you have one of those) will grind it up into bambiburgers. Mmmmm...good eatin' and less fatty than beefburgers.

[Clean Hands]

Bill, that's... really scary. Many things I've stumbled across in my wanderings on teh Intarwebs, but that's not one of them.

[casey]

thanks for the tips!

[Siouxie *no game for me thankuverymucho*]

Well I'm back and I'm glad I missed the culinary part of the show...

*barf*

*joins crossgirl @ the Honey-Bear lounge...*

[crossgirl]

dpc, you don't like venison sausage?

*mixes up a bear-tini for siouxie*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Funny answer: No. I don't swing that way.

Real answer: Venison sausage is where all the stuff goes that the butcher doesn't want to deal with. I prefer to process my own deer and get out the biggest chunks of meat I can. The little fiddley bits of meat and "other stuff" keeps my dogs happy and the rest goes into the stock pot to make... wait for it... deer stock.

[blurk]

DPC, please tell me you make jerky out of some of it. I mean, ya gotta have sumpthin' handy to eat when you're out in the middle of the woods...huntin' more deer.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I'm pretty sure the Authorities come and throw you out of the country if you don't make jerky.

[insomniac]

he took up an invitation to shoot pheasants in Poland...

if it had been his ancestors , it would have been 'peasants'...

[crossgirl]

snorks at insom!

[Siouxie]

lol insom!

[Matt]

My first post and I show up late and miss the fun.

"The bear isn't around to talk about it anymore." was my favorite quote.

The funny thing is, when I was in preschool, my parents gave me whiskey and honey for sore throats, coughs, and if I didn't go to sleep as quickly as they liked. This kinda makes me wonder if they were just making is easier to take me out. Its not like there was any lasting harm though.

*Starts shaking and runs out of the office to the Honey Bear lounge for daily Jack Daniels shots before afternoon meeting and orders multiple rounds to drug the Honey Bears*

[kittypaws]

When we have vension chops on the grill, I put them in some oil with some seasoned salt and garlic for a couple of hours then grill. YUM!!

I don't hunt, my husband does, but I do like to eat wild game. We had wild turkey a few weeks ago. Again YUM. (I stuff it with oranges, apples and celery then cook it in the roaster at 300 until done.)

Anyway, I think hunting should be that, getting food, not just to say I shot something.

[bookworm]

Blurk--thanks for the tip about soaking the meat in milk. I wish I'd known that a few years ago when we got pieces of a buck and a doe and the buck's meat was so gamey I threw most of it away.

DPC--I'm impressed with how much you get out of one deer. I didn't think anyone did that anymore.

We're not hunters in our house but we have friends who do hunt for food. I completely agree that hunting should be for food not sport. Canned hunts like this one probably was are preposterous.

/end unfunny comments

So, if the Spanish King DIDN'T shoot this bear, how do they know his name was Mitrofan? And I bet Putin would offer as his alibi that he was kissing a child who reminded him of a kitten on its belly.

[CJrun]

LTTG, as usual, but I went straight to DPC's first comment; I was thinking pre-marinated murder.

Phil, just *snork* for 'arm bears.'

CG, the hunting analogy [hahr!, I typed anal] to drugged women is shooting over a baited field. Hunters don't do that; poachers do.

And, Insom, that was hilarious, as usual, but seriously Juan Carlos is pretty terrific. He's getting on in years and I wonder what may happen when his stabilizing influence is gone.

PS: on the milk thing, it seems like a waste of milk, especially for large cuts, but it's worth it. I do it in a clean garbage bag to maximize coverage/ minimize milk. I actually use buttermilk for that, which is even better. I have never figured out a good use for the milk afterwards, so if anyone has an idea, please let me know.

PSS: Bear steaks are the most amazingly good cut of meat I have ever tried!

[blurk]

CJ, you can use the milk to make a killer "poor man's gravy"

[CJrun]

Blurk, the gravy is the best I have come up with, but I always wind up with forty-seventeen containers of gravy, long after the meat n taters are gone. Maybe that's why I'm a flaco. With all of my nieces [and their boyfiends] grown up food doesn't disappear from the fridge by itself, anymore.

[blurk]

hmmm...I wonder if you can freeze the milk and thaw it to use for gravy later? Never tried it but it's worth a shot.

[CJrun]

I know your gone by now, but my experience has been you can freeze just about anything, except stews or soups that have taters in them. Taters are just too whimpy to survive the freeze/ thaw thing. Fortunately, you have kids around to experiment on.

[crossgirl]

i'm pretty sure women freeze breast milk, so it's worth a try. milk shakes are kinda frozen too.

[Siouxie]

*has frozen breast milk both times I nursed my two monsters*

[crossgirl]

siouxie, try nursing indoors during the winter next time.

[ScottMGS]

cg: *snork*