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October 27, 2006

FOR THE MAN WHO HAS A VERY SMALL BRAIN EVERYTHING

The Porsche Toaster

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

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Wow. 118 pound sterlings for a toaster.

So, if I understand this right, someone who first designs cars is qualified to make toasters? I don't think so...

Darn you, Edgar...

Hey, wait...you're supposed to be dead!

Goes with the £400 coffee machine, and the £85 waffle iron and them gold plated pancakes for thew world ultimate breakfast.

wow....a smart toaster.

Will it impress the chicks? Or makes us think someone's overcompensating? I'm just sayin'...

So how many Porche's can you toast at once though?

How will it perform with Pop Tarts?

Actually, for pancakes, I believe that gold leaf is preferred. (Just like in Goldschlager.) Goldplating would require dunking the pancake into a truly vile chemical soup and then electrifying it. Not so good for pancake. Do not taunt happy goldplated pancake!

Aw, crap, my coffee's wearing off again.

baligurl - All the guys know that a toaster is the true path to a girl's heart. At least that's what I was told. Of course, I'm 86 and never been married.

This might actually be useful if it dialed 911 when it bursts into flames. Plus you can use the packaging for Halloween and go as 'Men with Boxters on Your Heads.'

I toasted a porsche once....

*mumbles* break up with ME will ya.....rassin, frackin....

I'm with tropichunt.com guy. How do you go from designing high-performance cars to designing...toasters?

And of course, it's made by Siemens...

Can you get Porsche Toaster clothing and accessories? I want to wear a Porsche Toaster Leather Jacket to impress all the chicks ladies.

I love the phrase "State-of-the-art"
I have noticed that, hard as it is to keep up with new technical innovations in, say, computers, it has been so much more frustrating keeping up with the rapidly changing world of toast.

mc- no, no, no. my mother always said that it was a stand mixer by Kitchenaid (trademark thingy) that was the true way to a woman's heart. that or a 6" filet knife. (between the 3rd and 4th rib.

this same idiot person designed an external hard drive some time back

Porsche hard drive

Hand to heaven. True story.

I rear-ended a Porsche once. The guy comes tearing out of his car back to mine. Then the testosterone level drop an iota, when I get out of my car. He says to me, "Oh, I thought you were my ex-wife. She has a car just like yours."
I'm thinking, can this get any worse?!?!!

I should NOT have gone exploring on that site.

(Note the green and orange products)

My 12 dollar toaster "remembers" how I like my toast, too. As long as nobody turns the little knobby thing on the side.

KitchenAid® is the way to any true cook's heart. Not only do they make excellent appliances, but they stand behind them to an unreasonable degree.

After I abused my KitchenAid stand mixer to death (no, you cannot grind 20 lbs of meat in one session), and unsuccessfully attempted repairs myself, I called the company to ask for suggestions.

They replaced the out-of-warranty, self-repaired mixer with a brand new, slightly better than equivalent model.

What's more, the customer service gal I was speaking with asked if I had one of their coffee makers, as some were subject to recall. As it happened, I had snagged one just a few months earlier from a thrift store for $5. It was the recalled model, and I got a brand new $100 coffee maker in exchange.

I go out of my way to buy KitchenAid® now.

Yeah Clean Hands, I meant goldleafed pancake. Electroplating foodstuffs make them taste bad and poisonous to boot. Plus it's difficult, as normal panckes don't conduct that well.

Oh, and Dave, I don't think it's their brains that are small.

What will you bet that the thing still has a setting which should be titled "Burned Beyond Recognition". Why do they do that?

Also, remember Bob and Ray's home studios in NYC are named "The House of Toast".

Well, it looks like Porsche has a whole line of useless kitchen product for small weenied discerning men.

Porsche Coffee Maker

Porsche Kettle

Baron the linkie to all of them is here

thank you lazeeboy, i was thinking 'small man syndrome' myself, but didn't want to possibly offend anyone.

CH- and that's why they are the way to a woman's heart. it takes a real man to know (and admit that he knows)quality in appliances.

WW - Yes, when I put my ad on Match.com I was SURE to add "Must recognize & know how to use quality personal kitchen appliances."

I prefer my porsche be only lightly browned with strawberry jam please.

*SNORK* @ Punkin... *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

*snork*@Siouxie!

(Looks JUST like my cat - she's named Ella Fitzgerald - cuz she's a strong black woman with a big set of pipes!)

I prefer my porsche with leather wrapped streeing wheel...and a side of cream cheese

with christmas coming, here is THE BEST GIFT FOR A MAN EVER

CH- is that buzz your coffee kicking in, or are you licking toads again?

Do not taunt happy fun toad, either.

CH - I forget - what are you supposed to do if Happy Fun Toad begins to smoke?

Easy. Slap a nicotine patch on it. Next!

Snork, snork, snork....

...goes from zero to cinders in ten seconds...

but... but... this toaster which is for the man with *ahem* the very small brain Everything was manufactured by... SEIMENS? am i the only one who finds this hilarious interesting?

*snork, snork, snork*

Off topic alert:

Siouxie, I was inspired by the SkyMall mag on a plane yesterday to delve into some Christmas shopping. Looky, I found a turntable that can be used to convert vinyl to digital. There are lots of them out there, but this one seems very simple and is much less expensive than anything I have seen.

Anybody else watch the Simpsons last night? BEST line of ever - Marge was recruited by Mr Burns to go on a ship. He asked Smithers what he thought about it - he said "Well Sir, I don't think Seamen and women mix, sir."

Love it....

Ok, maybe it was just me....

It's deja vu all over again, but *snork* at CH for nicotine patch

from the department of redundancy department

Hello? Is this thing on?

Punkin - great cat name!

CJ - Thanks ;) simple. cheap. perfect.

ECHO!

*listens*

echo

echo

'scuse me siouxie! Didn't mean to yell in your ear. I didn't see you there

Deja vu? Who you vu?

Hu vu u?

(Gawd, I hate the lunch time deadzone...)

hola ddd! sorry to have bumped into ya!


*keeps hearing echo echo echo*

puppytoes,
Yup, see my post at 11:08.
ec

Does this thing just toast things really fast? If not, um, why?

so he used to design porsches, and now he designs toasters?

does anyone else feel kinda sorry for him?

i mean, anytime somebody asks him what he does, he's gonna say:

well, i design toasters - but i used to design porsches!

and they will always, always assume he made up the last part just to make his life sound more exciting

Harumph! Real porsche owners don't do toast. They brunch, or they have their maid, Porsche, do it for them.

Or think "Why has he been demoted to toasters?"

And pray they never discover his last porsche design - recalled due to the "heated ejection seats".

Ooh, wonder if it has a power converter so you can make toast in your car? Then the guys can REALLY impress the chicks! From their Civic.

Yet, somehow, he's still getting us to burn our bread.

A friend girl's boyfriend had that whole car insecurity thing so badly that he actually peeled all of the emblems from his Civic, hoping he could convince gals it was something snazzier. Yeah, he got howled at, then dumped.

Mr. Fisher- not to mention our cash.

Remember people - do NOT get toasted in your Porsche. Let Dietrich drive.

I got one made by Peugeot. For French toast.

Pah-dump bump. Thank you, thank you very much.

CJ - OMG! I know a guy who did the same thing! Do you think we have the same insane friends???

*SNORKs* the Fish.

*le snork* @ steve

[apologizes in advance for serious post] CJRun, that turntable looks cool but at that price I doubt the results would be very good. You can pull some excellent sound off your old LPs but it takes some decent hardware to do it.

fishy/stevie *snorks*. No Punkin', there really are an abundance of those sad cases, spread about fairly evenly so we all get to laugh. Yours are the Maine subspecies.

Avast ye, Neil G! This is a comedy blog! Take yon boring drivel and toss it portside! Get thee to a funnery!

Annie, you be quiet for a minit. This is important stuff.

CJ, I was about to say "way cool" when I read Neils's comment. Neil, can you elaborate? I got about a thousand 33's gathering dust.

The same unit is available on Amazon, for $10 less; read the reviews there.

My family has a gorgeous collection of old LPs, and I am really hoping that this will be a way to preserve and extend those albums.

YOu'd think Seimans woulda changed their name already. All the jokes are old by now. They should change it to Balles or something like that.

*pouts some more

I have a small but important-to-me collection of 78s I'd like to convert, and this turntable will not spin that fast.

*shuffles over to the bus stop to wait for geezer bus to pick him up

I drive a DeLonghi.

Don't you be shushing a piratte-lady, stevie w! Lest we'll heist ye sad bag 'o bones from the yardarm...

I have TONS of LP's and a few 45's but I'm just dying to listen to my Rocky Horror Picture Show album...scratches and all!

(yes, I have the CD AND DVD, but it's a geezer thing...)

AW,

Just as long as you don't fold, spindle, or mutilate.

(Get the connex? Spindle?)

stevie w - got it. Now quit needling me. ;)

AWright, then. I like your stylus.

I'll turn the tables on you yet.

Maybe they could get Heywood Banks to do the commercials.

Oops, excuse me. Just got out of the shower and forgot to dry off.

fortunatley, the toaster wasn't in there with me.

*Enjoyss Annie & Stevie groovin'*

^^Sspot the typo?

Another great YouTube offering, slyeyes... and nice imaginings, too. ;-)

The Porsche toaster's on fire! Quick! Call 911!

Siouxie - LOVE Rocky - and Rent and Wicked.

In the first week I was dating my now hubby, my daughter was doing the midnight stage show of Rocky at a local theater (she was Columbia)......he went with me to pick her up, and met her for the first time while she was wearing twelve tons of eye shadow and 12 ounces of satin & sequined fabric!

Of course, he had to sit through watching all the dressed up freak-of-an-audience members stroll out first!

(And he still married me!)

Unfunny alert!

Neil, I agree things like ProTools are much better than that may be, and for those really interested there's a $400 model [here] that burns CDs by itself and plays 45s and 78s. However, I use good cheap software [available free download/ evaluation] from polderbits.com and my own turntable/ PC. I have gotten wonderful results, but it's very laborious. The above turntable looks very simple and it is very inexpensive, so that was the appeal. I shall check out the reviews on Amazon.

Unfunny response alert!

CJrun, I was referring more to the turntable part of the equation than the A/D end of it. I'm an admitted turntable snob but I really don't think you can get a decent sound out of a record without spending a certain amount of cash, probably $500 or so. Rega springs to mind as a maker of quality low(er) priced turntables. Most people are stunned by the quality of sound that can be had from a turntable, they simply never imagine that it is possible.

However if you've got a cheapie turntable and you think the sound is fine, then by all means digitise that sucker and preserve it warts and all.

*Firetrucks carrera down the road*

(SNORK!@ Ducky)

estrogen centrale: well thank goodness for that, i was starting to lose all respect for this blog. (don't know how i missed your comment, my bad!)

I hear ya, Neil. I have many mid-priced turntables and currently use a Technics and a Kenwood. I've also got BSRs and Garrards and a bunch of others. My favorite's the Kenwood, surprisingly. Then there's all of the other gadgetry [pop suppressor, dynamic range expander, etc.]. For me, the tough part is the A/D conversion. I've spent days at the process just to get Born To Run, Songs In The Key of Life, and Savoy Brown's Street Corner Talking finished. For the hundreds of others that never get much play, I need simple. I'll save the turntable hassles for the Marriage of Figaro!

I've got a Linn Sondek. I just play my records if I want to hear them, any A/D is just going to screw up the sound.

Oh well. I put my money where my heart was and ordered it [the turntable, not the toaster]. I read the reviews and took a chance. Because I am a guy of the male gender, I must have a new toy!

"I'll turn the tables on you yet(aw, 2:11 p)."

Doubt it. But can I take you for a spin in my toaster?

(Dang. She'll never see this. Timing is everything).

Sleyes - be careful. Mythbusters did the toaster in the tub thing and yes, you will get fried.

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