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October 17, 2006

EXPLODING COW UPDATE

Does this mean we lost?

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Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Someone could always write and post another exploding cow article.

I feel your pain.

Not to worry. Exploding cows will live on in the hearts and minds of the True Believers.

Most disturbing.

Someone (Blurk? Wyo?) could actually blow up a cow. Then it wouldn't be an urban legend and they'd have to put the article back.

DPC: That is a good idea. But I think the cow has to blow up from natural causes. So whoever does this -- and I am not saying anybody should do this -- should be sure that the causes are natural.

I'm not blowin up a perfectly good cow just to please those idiots. Everybody knows exploding cows deserves volumes. Some folks are just in denial.

Wyo -- OK. But if you DO see a cow blow up, please put the video on YouTube. Thanks.

Hmm..I dunno but I get the feeling that the front page headline for tomorrow's Wyoming Paper will include an exploding cow...

Wyo can be pretty resourceful.

You got it. (I might blow up a dead one, does that count?)

Marshall, Will and Holly
On a routine expedition
Met the greatest earthquake ever known
High on the rapids It struck their tiny raft (insert screams here)
And plunged them down a thousand feet below
To the Land of the Lost
To the Land of the Lost
To the Land of the Lost

Now I feel the cow's pain.

Wyo - if you can stand it up and make it look alive, I say go for it. Otherwise, it's just an exploding whale on a much smaller scale.

I'm trying to think of a way that cows could light thier own farts. I've got nuttin. Help?

Dave, at least you can find solace in the knowledge that there is video documentation of exploding whales. And that in 1992 I absolutely laid out a room full of drunks co-workers with a reading of "Moby Yuck". Some of them are still laughing.

Where's Rube Goldberg when you need him?

*cowboy lesson #38*

I've never seen a grown cow explode but calves sometimes get a condition called "bloating" whereby food is trapped in the first stomach because the digestive system isn't functioning properly. The trapped food begins to break down creating gasses causing the stomach to sort of blow up like a balloon. When this happens you have to do something called "tubing". You take a hose (usually a cut off piece of a garden hose) and force it down the calf's throat to the first stomach. The gas is then released and the calf's life is saved if you catch it in time.

*end cowboy lesson #38*

I suppose if you didn't treat bloating and the calf had eaten enough the possibility for explosion would increase exponentially. If it actually happens I'll let ya know.

What if a stick of dynamite is somehow inserted in the cow's anal cavity while lit...if there were some sort of way that it would stay lit..? and then RUN for yer lives!

A little help from the physicists???

We've shot dead bloated ones, just to watch 'em go poof, but that's not really an explosion.

btw, you needn't try this on your own, as certain areas in close proximity become unliveable for a while.

somebody go take the e out of unlivable.

Some of my cow-irkers dropped by and reminded me of "flaming @$$ holes". If people can be have flaming a-holes, can cows? Would that light cow farts?

oh and thank blurk for today's cowdude lesson...

*SNORK!*@DPC's "cow-irkers".

Souxie, with this crew, maybe you meant "psychiatrists" ?

Google Cache of the article in question:
here

no exploding cows on YouTube. perhaps you'll find one in THE MEATRIX. (sorry)

Dang it WYO, You have it made.
"Shooting dead bloated cows, just to watch 'em go poof,"
I envy anyone who lives in Wyoming.
We just have squirrels and chipmunks.
Never a "poof" when you shoot em', sometimes the tail goes flying though.

Dang - We helped put down an old cow last weekend. Went and buried her rather than doing something useful.

The exploding online encyclopedia - myth or fact?

A Theoretical Physicist might theorize that though cows have not been exploding in THIS dimension, perhaps there is a parallel dimension where there is nothing BUT exploding cows.

I think it would be a very yucky dimension.

You're welcome, Siouxie.
Ya never know, that little piece of knowledge may be the question to a "Jeopardy" answer one of these days.

"I'll have 'Disturbed Dave Barry Bloglits' for $1,000, Alex."

We're more expensive than THAT, Blurk....

But we come in a three-pack for $2,500...

I'm thinkin' we'd be in the Double Jeopardy category, Punkin'.

THREE, Punkin? I thought TWO was enough! Oh, sorry... talking bloglits, not bazoombages.

Pogo buried a perfectly good dead cow! What a senseless waste. Did you at least poke its eyes with a stick before you buried it?

Been there....

(that ^ was to Blurk)

All is not lost,

While some stick in the mud pulled the Exploding cow, we still have
Exploding Animals.

An exploding animal is an animal that literally explodes...

Any questions???

From WAY ^ there - nannie, psychiatrists are afraid of us...

puts on Blue Meanie costume...
("Will you still love me tomorrow?")

At night we went to the pasture
Though we could both smell disaster
So tell me now ,and I won't ask again
When will the cows stop exploding?

Their state of stomach distension
Is from a grossed-out dimension
If it's off the Net, it might be even true
When will the cows stop exploding?

Wikipedia says 'Fiction!'
Now where's their sense of fun?
If there's such factual restriction
Then the nerds and the dweebs have won!

They think their research is so fine
To rule out explosions bovine
But if it's so, what's that I hear outside?
When will the cows stop exploding?

Snork @ Siouxie

Thanks to Frank way up there, I have grabbed the abandoned entry and given it at least a temporary home here.

Please excuse the scattered "wiki-code" for now; I'm in a hurry to get to St. Louis for tonight's game and to have lunch w/ Sly tomorrow (yay for me).

LOL insom!! excellent cross-dressing with Meanie!

We attempted to take part in the age old practice of cow tipping one night but much to our chagrin discovered the sleeping cows we opted to "tip" had not got the memo that they were supposed to fall over.

Instead they just gave us dirty looks for waking them up and would eventually tire of our efforts and walk away.

At no point during our intense cow tipping experimentation did we encounter any exploding cows, but we did experience some cow flatulence. And we found that experience to be highly unpleasant and not recommended...

Kent,
The presense of cow flatulence is indicative of an exploding cow's pressure relief sensing system operating within normal parameters. Should the pressure relief valve ever malfunction....THEN BLAMMO! cow guts everywhere.

Howdy y'all. Been gone for more than a week - not my fault - blame the IT wizards around here...

Good to be back, snorks, etc.

There is a butt-snake poem now posted on today's snake thread. Yes, I lied about that last one being the last one.

Sorry.

mud!! I was thinking about you when that snake article got posted. Glad to have ya back!

yay for the butt-snake poetry!! I shall go read...

and on that note! It's LUNCH TIME!!

Hey Mud...welcome back

mud - read it and posted! much missed...

NOW it's lunch time!

Does >a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbWUiuq8ZXE">exploding cow pies count?

*SNORK!*@Insomeanie

Ouch. I feel the pain of a blown-out HTML tag.

LOL CH...nice visual!

Well, that was Shadeboy's link; I just fixed it for him, since I'm still too lazy to copy & paste a link into a new browser. :-)

CH - Thanks. I didn't notice right away that I blew my HTML.

ok..then I'll take that back...CH.

LOL Shadeboy...nice visual!!

While we have lost the exploding cow, Google has not!

I still think it was a PETA plot.

The exploding cow is gone, but Wikipedia has an article about Cow Tipping

I've never tipped a cow, but I imagine that 15% is about right.

From _Terence, This is Stupid Stuff_
by A.E. Housman:

The cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It sleeps well, the horned head:
We poor lads, 'tis our turn now
To hear such tunes as killed the cow.
Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme
Your friends to death before their time

*sniff* I'm going to miss our cow!
-PB

Earwig Alert: Walking After Midnight

I go exploding, after midnight
Get out the dynamite, just like you used to do.
I'm exploding, after midnight, police searching for clues.
I'm found for for miles and miles along the highway
Well that's just my way of saying that I blew.
I'm exploding, after midnight, police searching for you.
I stopped to see a guy about a fuse
Claims to be just looking for his muse,
Maybe he's lighting one for me.
And as the skies turn golden colored
Bomb squad whispers to me I'm done,
this isn't fun.
I go exploding after midnight
out in the moonlight
Just hoping maybe you're somewhere
still searching for my fuse...

Mu!

"Does this mean we lost?"

Yes. And the terrorists have won.

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http://web.archive.org/web/20060304031126/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_cow

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