BABYSITTER OF THE MONTH

When this woman says it's bedtime, it is bedtime.

(Thanks to MOTW)

Comments

[Juggler of Geese]

Some time you kill the bear, sometimes the bear kills you. But always dress for the hunt.

[Juggler of Geese]

I really need to spellcheck before posting.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

"If you have a bear, you probably have food," he said.

A-yup. Bears is good eatin. Drunk or not.

[billinbossier]

Does anyone but me get the feeling the animal kindom is trying to take over?

[blurk]

Does anyone but me get the feeling the animal kingdom won't succeed with chicks like that around?

[Heinrich the Lab Rat]

You might not have noticed, but the animal kingdom has already taken over. We outsourced the administration to humans for the time being.

[billinbossier]

Also, I wonder if that women is in any way related to the King of Spain...
Just thinking.

[DavetheRed]

Bear-ly got it.

[MOTW]

I got posted? whoo!

Babysitter check-list:
1) activity bag filled with puppets, coloring books, and crayons
2) Favorite DVDs for kids
3) Goldilocks and the Three Bears
4) Bear tag for current season

[blurk]

MOTW, congrats!!

Now, add 7mm rifle and ammo to the checklist.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Is 7mm really the best choice for 422-pound Ninja Attack Bears?

[casey]

The hot-wire around the horse pen was broken? I have several horses of my own, but I have never had to hot-wire one. I think perhaps a visit from the vet is in order here. Either that or she just needs to go ahead and call the local backhoe service.

[slyeyes]

MOTW! Yay for you!

Where have you been?

[Siouxie]

YAY MOTW!

That is one tuff gal! I'da been out the front door...

ok ok...I'll take the kids too..sheesh!

[Jonathan]

I've never heard of a boy being named "Cleo" nor a girl being named "Brooklyn" - Perhaps the names are what got the bear's attention?

[Bill]

Next thing you know, the bears will be teaming up with the stingrays.

[Chaz]

Bonner county news reports.....

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Porthill, Idaho: Where all the men are strong, the women carry 7mm rifles, and every child is above average.

[Clean Hands]

*snork* @ casey...

[blurk]

Sumpthin' just crossed my mind (amazing ain't it?)...I bet my next paycheck this chick's never been a victim of domestic abuse.

[Eleanor]

Great story! Women Rule!

Congrats, MOTW. :)

[Punkin Poo]

If she has been, Blurk - it was only ONCE.

[crossgirl]

notice she didn't even half to get it all liquored up first! go girl!!!

[blurk]

Yeah, Punkin, probably wouldn't have much need for a courtroom.

Funeral parlor maybe, but not a courtroom.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Nice plan. Lure him in with a bbq, then when he tries to come in the door, drop him on the concrete outside, where it's easy to wash the blood off. Plus, you don't have to drag the body in from the woods, and it's a simple case of self defense.

...are we still talking about bears?

[blurk]

A simul with Annie...but I'm not sure that's a good thing after reading her post.

[Annie Where-but-here]

If you give a bear a bbq, he'll probably need a shell or two.

[Cheryl Howard]

She has a bear tag, slides the door open with her foot and shoots a rifle twice from the hip killing the bear? What the hell kind of baby sitter is this? Oh, and can I have her number?

[Annie Where-but-here]

nearly a double simul, blurkie....once for each barrel. ;)

[Cheryl Howard]

Also, my parents live in Bonner County. Like all nice families in North Idaho, they are heavily armed and have tags for all sorts of things. Bear, by the way, is delicious.

[revan]

Pity that there no photo ;)

[blurk]

*doesn't know whether to be very afraid of Annie or propose marriage*

[Annie Where-but-here]

blurkie - why not both?

[Punkin Poo]

I had the weirdest dream the other night - Hubby and I were on our honeymoon cruise, and he was seduced by Angelina Jolie and had sex with her.

I beat the crap out of her.

Then I tossed him overboard.

What does this all mean?

[tonymus]

Remind me not to go door-to-door around Porthill, Idaho selling magazine subscriptions...

[blurk]

It means maybe I'll propose to Annie.
Punkin...notsomuch.

[baligurl]

That Brad's available? Hi, Punkin!

[baligurl]

Hey, blurk, nice bumpin' in to ya. Didja notice I got my cast off?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Punkin - it means no more eating sushi after 8pm.
It also means Boston will lose to the Yankees next year.

[Punkin Poo]

Always thinking of your own needs, bali!

Oh, and you, too, Blurk.

[Clean Hands]

Punkin, it clearly means that you should spend the next several years of your life absorbing everything you possibly can about Angelina Jolie, to the point that you will know what she's going to do and where she's going to be even before she does herself, and then haunt her everywhere she goes, demanding to know why she was sleeping with your husband in your dreams.

After the silliness with the arrest and restraining orders and all of that is over, you can come back here and join us in the discussions about relative bazoombage values that will arise when Claire Martin sends in a link about the whole sordid story.

[Meanie the Blue]

The bear community weighs in.

[Clean Hands]

Yes, I need more coffee.

[Punkin Poo]

Hi Annie - enjoying all your free time this month????

[baligurl]

Punkin, all I was thinking was I could use some experienced child care from time to time, and Brad doesn't seem to mind whose kids he takes care of. I wouldn't want him for any oth-dang. I can't even lie a little.

[chesbn]

Boy, I finally get a Dave break and this is what happens- the bears have taken over

[Annie Where-but-here]

bali - he's quite short, just so ya know.
Punkin - grrrr...luv you too!

[Siouxie]

*joins the afternoon lovefest*

dang work!

[baligurl]

I'm 5'2", Annie, so pretty much everybody's tall to me. All works out horizontally, anyway...

[Clean Hands]

*snork* @ bali.

I've noticed, too, that some of the tallest guys I've known have the tiniest wives. The mind boggles at the geometries...

[casey]

Clean, recently on a local talk radio show that topic was discussed. Both men and women agreed that tall men vs. petite women = perfect placement of certain orificisisis resulting in total bliss. IANMTU

[Clean Hands]

*blink*

Good heavens.

Guess I'll just have to settle for the height that I am, though, and I'm very happy with everything about Mrs. H., so I'm just going to keep my speculations in check now.

[Siouxie]

*guess I'll have to get me a much taller guy*

[Siouxie]

casey, what was the height differential for total BLISS???

just wonderin'

[Annie Where-but-here]

blurkie will be right back. He went out to buy lifts for his shoes.

[Annie Where-but-here]

....and a calculator.

[chesbn]

Makes me wonder...as a very tall woman, do I need to find a short guy? Or does bliss only work one way? Discrimination!

[Siouxie]

Annie!! glad to see yer back!

[Siouxie]

chesbn, not to discriminate but, I totally prefer tall(er) guys...my ex was 6'4" :-)

[Annie Where-but-here]

Siouxie, thanks. I've missed this place.

[Just Ducky]

Baligurl, I'm slightly UNDER 5', and never dated anyone under 6' until after college. My (much taller) girlfriends were very upset with me, but it wasn't my fault that the tall guys were asking me out. I briefly dated one fellow who was 6'5", and on our first date he took me dancing. We were on the dance floor about 30 seconds when I looked WAY up into his eyes and said, "This is NOT working. Let's go to a movie."

[chesbn]

Well, I prefer tall guys too, Siouxie, but at 6'1" sometimes they're in short supply

[chesbn]

Oh, ouch, no pun intended on my last post, lol

*hangs head in shame*

[Siouxie]

wowsa...that's tall, chesbn! I'm about 5'7" so kinda in the middle here.

Ducky - ya little thang you!! *pats her head* ;)

[Siouxie]

I'd introduce you to my ex, but he's already re-married...twice.

*will keep you in mind for wife #4*

[tropichunt.com guy™]

She did to bears what Chloe does to terrorists...Wow!

[Just Ducky]

Wouldn't it be fun to be able to swap a few inches of height? Say, if you had a few more than you wanted, I'd be happy to take 'em off your hands.

Notice I'm talkin' about HEIGHT, here.

[Just Ducky]

*wonders how tall the Bear Huntress is*

[chesbn]

You can have a few inches of my height anytime Ducky- then I wouldn't have to special order my pants anymore :-P

[casey]

chesbn, the radio show I heard was tall men vs petite women and vice versa. As tall as you are, I suggest you find a longitudenally challeged male person of the opposite sex and then report your findings here.

[chesbn]

*is prepared to sacrifice herself in the name of science*

[eat_black_licorice]

My husband would be so jealous of this woman. I rented a house in North Idaho with a door with a dead-bolt so big it might take Jack Bauer 20 minutes to break in. The owner said he put it in when a black bear broke in and ate approximately 150 pounds of dog and cat food. From then on, my husband had great hopes of a stand-off in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

[MOTW]

Update on this story

[Cheryl Howard]

Now I get it, it was a cleverly disguised plan to get herself a bear skin rug. Now thats logic I can understand.

[blurk]

*for Annie way up there ^*

No lifts for me, please. 5'10" and proud of it.

As for the calculator, let's see...she's 6'3" and I'm 5'10"...ummhmm...carry the 2...divide by pi...take the square root...Yep!! Optimum bazoomage height.

[CJrun]

*snork* @ bali 2:14. And chesbn [just excatly what is a chesbian? NTTIAWWT] 3:02. As a tall guy, it amused me that one of the first gals I ever dated was only 4'11".

True story from a guy that seems to spend more time washing his face and less time washing his hair, every year. I was sitting in a restaurant with my boss enjoying a meal when a couple got up to leave. As they walked out, this nice-looking, but short woman stopped by our table with her tall husband close behind. She said, 'excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you have the same problem as my husband.' Then she rubbed the top of my head and said, 'headboard damage,' walked out and left us both stunned.

[blurk]

CJ, A chesbian is a champion thesbian. Ya know, like an Oscar winner.
What were you thinkin'?

[baligurl]

In college I always dated tall guys. My favorite remark ever offered to me was "Aw, there they go, arm in sock." But the Mr. is 5"11 and plenty tall for me. But our son is 6'4". How does THAT happen?

[CJrun]

That happens 'cause my mom is 5'6", Dad is 6 even and they are cute l'il fellers, to us kids. Diet. I think my parents were raised on sawdust and squirrels.

[baligurl]

We should be eating more squirrels, then, make a dent in the population. I used to like fried squirrel, but I was a kid then. Don't know if I would today.

[CJrun]

Oh, BTW, Blurk, that was funny. I kinda overlooked it as I was and am puzzled. Am I the only one the 'reads' that pronounced that way?

[blurk]

No, CJ that's exactly the way I read it pronounced.

[blurk]

'Course I read blurk pronounced stud...so what do I know?

[Just Ducky]

Blurk, remember Shakespeare: "for what his heart thinks, his tongue speaks."

Chesbn, you're welcome to the 6-8 inches of fabric I have to cut off every pair of pants I buy!

[CJrun]

*work intervenes*

Oh, hey! Who needs a beer? Blurk, it's about that time!

Ducky, I'm just glad that last sentence ended up better than I thought it might.

[crossgirl]

what was that? someone has 6-8 inches to give away?!

[Just Ducky]

I tried to keep it clean, but it's a losing battle around here...

[crossgirl]

hangs head into margarita glass. it's a sad, sad situation.

[L. Bobbit]

Did somebody call? I see this number on my Caller ID.

[Just Ducky]

snork @ cg
*refills glass*

[Mr. Completely]

WAY LTTG (what else is new?) here, but I gotta chime in on this one. I'm 6'5", my wife is 5'11" (and everything lines up nicely, thankyouverymuch). IMO, tall people are worth the climb. We're above average. And tall people dancing with short people is just wasted space.

But I admit, I do have a weird fantasy concerning midgets. Which reminds me, has anyone been watching Boston Legal recently?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Yeah, well - at least short people aren't WAY LTTG.

[daisymae]

Is there any connection between a bear hug and a bear tag?