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October 23, 2006

ADVISORY TO ANYBODY WHO IS THINKING ABOUT FLYING INTO OR OUT OF THE ATLANTA AIRPORT

Don't. Just don't.

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Good thing I wasn't thinking about it.

I prefer to think about flying into or out of O'Hare instead. Possibly Detroit.

I've heard that about Hartsfield. So, what happened to the blog? Is he willing to share, that we might be greatly entertained at his expense learn from his bitter experience?

Well that just shot my day! What will I do now.

*NOT planning on it*

We need details, Dave!

Thanks a lot, Dave, I'll be flying through there tomorrow. (At least you can smoke in the bars).

When I really want some fun, I think about body cavity searches from untrained and unqualified TSA grunts.

Apparently, you can't post links from the Atlanta airport. That must be it.

Well, my final destination was Atlanta but since you're well, Dave, and all I guess I'll take your advice.

I suppose I could hitchike from Macon.

Not for all the McDona1ds Monopoly game pieces in China, Dave.

Atlanta - The guy from the UK (smear campaign) probably landed.

When I lived in Birmingham, the rumor was that when you died, it didn't matter whether you went "up" or "down," you had to fly through Atlanta to get there!

The lasttime I was in Atlanta, I found a kitten in the parking lot of my Holiday Inn. Just for future refence, it costs $50 for the carrier and $50 for a li'l kitty ticket to bring home a kitten you didn't start out with. I can't do the linky-thing, but here she is:http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b28/baligurl2002/COZJULY05095.jpg

I have no choice, I live here (ATL).

It is said that when you die, regardless your destination, you will change planes in Atlanta.

Some people are known to drive to Chattanooga from Atlanta to catch a flight.

At least when I go to the airport, I'm just getting on or just getting off, not changing planes.

baligurl - Beautiful cat. It would have been hard to leave an abandoned cat like that.

But the Atlanta airport is big. Very big. And has underground trains with cool electronic voices. And is a major hub. And I worked there for a month once. And grew up practically underneath the flight paths (that's right folks, in HAPEVILLE, GA! Go Hornets!)

um ... and it's big!

Perhaps when you are dying, if you think about the Atlanta airport, it will take you much longer. Or you'll at least feel better that you're (not yore) not (not knot) there (not they're).

I've been there many times myself. As a Deltoid frequent flyer...ALL their flights go through Atlanta. The bars are pretty well stocked though ;)

Thank you MC. She's a Sweetheart. Luckily, the Mr.'s a cat guy. If she'd a been a dog, she'd still be in Atlanta.

she's gorgeous, bali! I used to have a Balinese that looked just like that...withh longer hair of course...Mimosa ;(

Great, we fly through ATL on the 30th of November, it is a later flight so maybe the problems won't be as bad.

As I fly through there about 10 times a year ('cause I live in Pennsylvania and all) I've had my share of Hartsfield experiences. The worst was being trapped there all night because they had "weather". (Doesn't everybody have weather?) Delta delayed me out of Miami for mechanical problems. Had they gotten me to ATL on schedule I would have made my connection before the "weather". Not a hotel room to be found so I slept on the marble floor all night. Thank you, Delta. (Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive).

PS - I fly through O'Hare more often and I'd rather be trapped at ATL overnight, though.

bali, not too bad I guess.


For a cat.

bali, i'll fly thru Hartsfield everyday if i can come home with such a beauty.

You know, all of this reminds me of the day that I took my kitten with me to Atlanta. We had a terrible time at the airport, the cab ride sucked, and on top of that, after staying at the Holiday Inn, I couldn't find my kitten anywhere!

*reeeeeeeeeeaches up and grabs that extra 'h'*

*snork* at schadeboy.

Personally, when I fly through the Atlanta airport, I like to get there early - that way once I have made it through the "body cavity" search, I still have time to go to the back of the line for another one.

Schadeboy, you may not wanna click on the link above ^ ...just sayin'

ya'll think Dave will be singing soprano talking a bit differently when he finally gets outta there??

Okay, I won't then.

i wasn't going to fly through, i was considering snowboarding. is snowboarding still an option?

Siouxie:

I'm all for security. I don't mind the luggage searches, taking off the shoes, dental exam, gettin' nekkid, dumpin' my shampoo, trimmin' my fingernails, etc, but if anyone squeezes my b@lls hard enough to change the pitch of my voice SOMEONE is gettin' killed.

Just sayin'.

To clarify: One of the Atlanta runways is closed, or so I have been told by an employee of an airline I will refer to as "Zelta." So manymanymany flights are delayed. Last night I had 12 minutes to make a connection from Gate B-12 to Gate E-3, which is a distance of 856 miles. I made it, but only by violating several important laws of physics.

Yes, I still love dogs.

Phew! I thought they took Dave's shampoo away.

(Good luck, Dave.)

Hey! A simul with Dave. That's cool! Not in a brokeback sorta way or anything.

Dave, you'll miss the Herald Hunt now. Hopefully not Thanksgiving.

Oh, great... Mom and Dad are that Atlanta airport right now

Siouxie - What, you mean the link that takes us to a picture of a cat that looks very familiar to me?

oh and blurk, I don't mind the body searches, etc. either...all in the name of national security..but, have you SEEN those "female" airport security persons????


EWWWWWWWWWIE!

Crossgirl - by the way, you're my first snork. Just thought you'd like to know.

Schadeboy, I find that hard to believe.

Shadeboy..uh...not that link...but it is a gorgeous kitty.

*was gonna say Shadeboy was my first simul, but who am I kiddin'*

triple even ;-)

you always remember your first snork

Ah, yes...my first was Annie-where-but-here. It was a truly magical moment.

Then she sent me to the doghouse cause I tried to cop a feel.

Mrs. fivver flew out from ATL this morning. The lines for security were so long she got diverted through the employee checkpoint. Only took her a couple of minutes...

See, now, I DO object to the searches and groping and disposal of dangerous goo. I say everyone gets on as is with NO searches. The TSA grunts hand everyone over the age of 12 who can stand up, hear thunder and see lightning a loaded Uzi. Then, if any terrorists decide to try anything, the rest of the passengers go all Flight 93 on their stupid a$$es.

*Decides to take the train (unless I'm in Britain).*

Don't tell Dave, fivver...

TDPC

Good idea, slightly wrong implementation. The problem with firearms on planes is not 'explosive decompression' - Mythbusters proved that. The problem is when the untalented 'hero' in seat A-3 misses the bad guy in D-5 and nails me way back in row Q.

That's why I favor FishWhackers - nice hardwood clubs filled with lead. Also usefull for many of the other little problems you can encounter on a commercial flight.

Ahh, closed runway at Hartsfield. Not as bad as a changeover from Zelta to Eastern. That could be a long wait.

To clarify: One of the Atlanta runways is closed, or so I have been told by an employee of an airline I will refer to as "Zelta." So manymanymany flights are delayed. Last night I had 12 minutes to make a connection from Gate B-12 to Gate E-3, which is a distance of 856 miles. I made it, but only by violating several important laws of physics.

Dave,
You must have had Jack Bauer driving your tram/train to have violated that many laws of physics. Was tehre any thigh-shooting involved?

KCSteve - Rubber bullets.

The problem with warfare on a plane is that there isn't much room to maneuver. You need a weapon that is effective with very little user movement. I would also accept those new "shotguns" that shoot beanbags.

Baligurl, I leave strange pussy kitty I find in other towns where I find them.

Dave, do you EVER go home? I think your daughter is about to be graduated.

Oh, Dave. Wouldn't it be nice if we actually had a CHOICE about not going through ATL? But I think it's required by law. All travelers, especially on Zelta, must visit Atlanta!!!

Good luck getting out ...

Sound advice, Chaz. Very sound advice.

well folks...I am OUTTAHERE!!!

Dave, oh, so you've done the "Hartsfield Hustle" like I have!

I had 15 minutes to get from T1 to E20 (BINGO!), which if you've been to Atlanta...you'd go...nope, no way.

Yes, I did it. Once. And I collapsed into my seat on my connecting flight, unable to move, fasten my seatbelt, or defend myself from having my gel-based deodorant taken away...

well, heck, *i* could have told you that. still... it beats Miami International Airport, right? (of course, that's not saying much)

Ah, Dave got the old "plane change at an extremely distant gate" treatment. You can't imagine the programming algorythm it takes to do that.

Mrs Fivver made the mistake of a Monday morning flight out of Hartsfield. All the business people are heading out then.

Also, don't do Sunday afternoons. Thousands of people what HAVE NEVER TRAVELED BEFORE are starting trips on Sunday afternoon, and they are all between you and the gate you are trying to get to.

I always thought Chicago was the worst, last time I was there the people were incredibly rude and I had to run from one end to the other to catch a plane that was the size of a mini-van. :( I hated it.

not in atlanta
but i was planning travel
the poop tour goes on

if this gets posted
more than once know that it was
the work of spam-bots

this will take planning
just like ocean's eleven
poop in airplane? Hmm...

That makes 3 Steves in one thread, so it looks like I'm gonna have to take a cue from Andy and add a suffix to my name... :-)

THG...I did the same thing once in the Pittsburgh airport. No fun. :-(

In the interest of ensuring the safety of the blog, I highly recommend viewing this video and following all posted signs and crewmember instructions.

*SNORK* @ everybody, regarding my...kitty!

Oh, and schadeboy, you can have her back if you reimburse me for 18 months worth of ca food, litter, cat toys, and vet bills. But she hates men. Do you have any insight?

CH--Hysterical!

*tosses up a 't' shaped cat toy*

Traveled through Atlanta one month a few Fridays ago.
Arrive: 9:00 AM (40 minutes late) Gate: B2
Departure: 8:50 (10 minutes earlier) Gate: B39
(at least it was the same terminal - had to run backwards though to make it in time)
Gate: B39 delayed (awaiting parts)
(oh, that is comforting).
Gate: B39 cancelled (not necessarily a bad thing) Time: 11:00
Departure: 11:50 Gate: B29
Gate: B29 Delayed (awaiting parts - another plane awaiting parts)
STARVING: spent $13.25 on peanut butter sandwich and a soda.
Oh, by the way, CANCELLED - find your own way out (no one to help at the gate, no notice other than "CANCELLED")
Called service desk after waiting in line behind 3178 other CANCELLEDs.
Departure: 5:10 Gate:T1
(wait at T1 for 2 hours)
(fooled you)
Departure: 7:00 (delayed) Gate: B22
Actual departure: 7:35 PM.
(Felt really bad until we met someone who had been at Atlanta for THREE days and left after we did.)

You guessed it - Zelta strikes again.

[b]beaniehampton[/b]

Stories like yours remind me of some of the many reasons I drive places. Only takes [b]me[/b] 13 hours to get to / from Atlanta. I'm thinking that it's not only cheaper to drive, it's [i]faster[/i].
It's certainly less crowded and/or annoying.

Dave, Dave, Dave....if you're gonna have kids, might as well use them-
"Ms. Zelta-person, you must help us with our connecting flight. My child! My poor child here can't walk that far. She is weak from playing video games all day, subsisting on nothing but Cheezits and boogers."
They'll fetch you a cart asap and hold your connecting flight for you.
Whaaaat? Ya think I birthed them just to ride in the car pool lane?

*SNORK* @ CH's video!

THAT is soooooooo funny!!!

CH: Good one! Had I seen that before my trip to St. Louis last week, I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face during the demo.

KCSteve: pssst -- the brackets only work on the IMDb boards. Well, they might work elsewhere too, but those boards were to blame a year or two ago, when I did the same thing you just did. Happens to the best of us. ;-)

I feel your pain Dave... I flew through Atlanta from Birmingham (AL) last night.

I didn't have to rush though... not only was my flight into Atlanta delayed an hour, but the flight out was too...

I got back to Miami at around 11:20 last night... zzzzz... 2 hours after my scheduled arrival time.

As to that flight video ... that smart@ss wuz on our flight when we went to Ireland ... he had a different routine, but he wouldn't let us sleep, or eat in peace and quiet or any other worthwhile activity ...

We locked him in the lavatory about the time we cleared Newfoundland ...

The Flight Attendants helped us ...

I wonder if he ever got out ...

and ...

r.e. the "rude" people @ O'Hare ... when we changed planes, we found the boarding area for our airline (rhymes, sorta, with "Herringlingus") and some friendly fellow passengers pointed out to us that there was a separate (and MUCH shorter) line for those of us connecting from other flights ... we got all our stuff done and cut back thru the line in front of those folks ... smileages and ch@atting time wuz shared, and we were at our gate about 25 minutes after we got off the other plane -- which wuz a looooooooong train ride away ...

Of course, I think the "nice people" were from Wisconsin or someplace ...

Not to say that the "Chicago" people were rude ... we thot they were very tolerant and helpful toward us yokels from the Northern Plains ...

Herringlingus? Does that mean licking a herring?

Lzb -

Close ... but not quite ... I explain further, but this is a family-rated blog ...

This is probably really late. I work in a CCU unit in a fairly large hospital. One patient directly across from the main nurses station was very, very hard of hearing. So anyone around (within 300 ft) could hear any conversation clearly. A nurse was trying to convince the man that his wife and son would be up shortly and he should go ahead and eat his dinner. He asked her how she remembered things like that. She replyed that she just did. He yelled "You must be smart." She yelled back, "I'm not smart!" The whole floor erupted in laughter. She just wanted him to eat his dinner, poor girl had no idea we were all (not on purpose) listening to their conversation.

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