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September 04, 2006
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I have never been first. Yea me!!
Hope every one had a good weekend.
Ray
Posted by: Ray | September 04, 2006 at 06:19 PM
He!! if I know... I havne't the foggiest notion what this is about!!
Posted by: foggiest notion | September 04, 2006 at 06:24 PM
A snake help-line? Next, there will be a squirrel hospital.
Posted by: Jazzzz | September 04, 2006 at 06:44 PM
Snake Hotline Operator: Snake Hotline, how can I help you?
Caller: Eh, yessss, I'd like to report a misssssing ssssnake.
Snake Hotline Operator: Okay, can you describe the snake in question?
Caller: Yesssss. She's about four years old and was lassst sssseen in the company of a motorssssyclist that I think she intended to run off with,
Snake Hotline Operator: Was she wearing a cast?
Caller: Eh, no.
Snake Hotline Operator: Well, then, no, sorry, we haven't seen her.
Posted by: Lairbo | September 04, 2006 at 06:44 PM
Yay for Ray! Who is it who would say "Shot@#$%#%gun!"?
Posted by: Beppie | September 04, 2006 at 06:45 PM
Aren't cobras, like, deadly? Why are they trying to fix them? There aren't enough poisonous snakes in India?
Posted by: Guin | September 04, 2006 at 06:52 PM
While I'm generally pro-snake, I'm vehemently anti-VENOMOUS snake. Since 'Shotgun' is the immediate knee-jerk response to rattlers... I'm thinking cobras get shotgunned twice.
Perky Operator: "Snake help-line!"
Rural-Sounding Person: "Ah'd like ta report me a dead snake. Look like he been blowed up with a whole mess 'o buckshot." *cock*
Nervous Serpent in Background: "Hiss?"
Posted by: Flattman | September 04, 2006 at 06:55 PM
Well, they apparently take their snakes very seriously in India. Aren't most of the snake stories we see - those that don't involve panicky people trying to route them out of toilets, car doors, etc. - from India and that surrounding area, ie., Asia?
Posted by: Kathybear | September 04, 2006 at 07:04 PM
Mallik and three friends have set up a snake helpline, which catches snakes that slither into people’s homes and releases them into the forests... only to have them turn around and slither into people's homes...again.
Good job Mal!
Posted by: Siouxie | September 04, 2006 at 07:11 PM
oh and Beppie, the shotgun remark would most likely be from blurk...our resident 'shotgun to critter' expert.
Posted by: Siouxie | September 04, 2006 at 07:13 PM
And how, exactly, do you keep the snake from slithering OUT of the cast? It's bad enough trying to keep a cat or dog from pulling its stitches out--and I don't think you can use the same method (the elizabethan collar) on a snake.
Posted by: bookworm | September 04, 2006 at 07:27 PM
Who would call a snake help line?
Posted by: daisymae | September 04, 2006 at 07:28 PM
A snake looking for help?
Posted by: Beppie | September 04, 2006 at 07:42 PM
or a snake attempting to commit ssssnakecide?? maybe this snake
jumpedslithered in front of a passing car?Posted by: Siouxie | September 04, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Snake in
plaster ofParis.Posted by: Siouxie | September 04, 2006 at 08:16 PM
Born free, as free as the road winds
As free as the helpline finds
Born free to follow your heart
Live free, 'cyclists will find you
The world will abhor you
Each time you look at a car
Stay free, where no wheels divide you
You're free as the roaring ride
So you'd better go hide
Born free, and life is worth living
if you can keep giving
that margin of fright
Stay free, where no wheels divide you
You're free as the roaring ride
So you'd better go hide
Born free, and life is worth living
when you can keep giving
that terrible fright
(Free at last, free of a cast ... free ... to go ... and kill again ...)
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | September 04, 2006 at 08:41 PM
I say, "Shotgun, shoot it for they run, now."
Posted by: ubetcha | September 04, 2006 at 09:40 PM
The Indian government has tried everything from condoms to tv sets in order to curb the population explosion. Maybe this is their last, desparate measure.
Posted by: Lmd33 | September 04, 2006 at 09:44 PM
Hey, little cobra
Don't you know you're gonna get run down!
I took my cobra down to the track
Half past Puri to the town of Cuttack
Everyone was there just a waitin' to see
There were plenty of Singhs, hey, to x-ray me*.
[Apologies to the two hit wonders, thr Rip Chords]
[* original line: There were plenty of Stingrays and XK-E's]
Posted by: stevie w | September 04, 2006 at 10:11 PM
I'm pro-snake, even with the venomous varieties, unless the snake in question is a direct threat to my safety. They usually aren't, and when I see one in my yard I leave it alone and it goes away.
Our endangered king snakes and indigo snakes eat those poisonous coral snakes and rattlers. Kill the venomous snakes and the good guys lose out on a potential meal. Also, the poisonous snakes are probably helpful in thinning out the squirrel population.
All that notwithstanding, I wouldn't have troubled myself to give medical treatment to a cobra. Those things are just too aggressive and too dangerous. I hope it doesn't go on to kill anyone.
Mare
Posted by: Mare Imbrium | September 04, 2006 at 10:44 PM
So you want to be in Bhubaneswar
Just listen now to what I say
Just get an eighteen string sitar
And take my advice, just learn to play
And if your snake gets green
You still can make the scene
Rattle your tambourine
[apologies to, well, all the obvious...]
Posted by: Stevie W | September 04, 2006 at 11:06 PM
stevie...
???
Posted by: Siouxie | September 04, 2006 at 11:20 PM
*snork* at steve...
'i'm afraid your pet will never walk again...'
Posted by: insomniac | September 05, 2006 at 12:23 AM
cobras are holy in India, people... along with Big Macs on legs, aka cows
Posted by: pepe | September 05, 2006 at 05:08 AM
Haiku:
a mild discomfort
vaguely uneasy, cold sweat
The reptile below
You think your life’s weird
While walking through a pet shop
my ass ate a rat
I dare not complain
It could have been worse, you know
Like a porcupine
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 05, 2006 at 07:51 AM
Weird, werd, OtheU and mud.
Siouxie - Come on! So You Want to be a Rock and Roll Star. The first one tho was more obscure - "Hey, Little Cobra" by the Rip Chords a car song.
Posted by: Stevie W | September 05, 2006 at 09:53 AM
I can name that tune in ...
sorry, stevie...must have been the wine blocking my brain cells.
Posted by: Siouxie | September 05, 2006 at 10:15 AM
i swear i saw this in Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, in the section about splinting a snake...
Posted by: pepe | September 05, 2006 at 11:38 AM
Now, if they tried to splint an Anaconda, maybe it wouldn't have been able to kill that Obnoxious Brit in the Movie......
But why did the little dog have to die???
**Sniff*** and that on top of the fact Steve "Nutcase" Irwin in dead....
EB. Tenderhearted, but not for Venomous Types....
Posted by: EB | September 05, 2006 at 08:28 PM