WHY WE NEED GUYS

Guys have perspective.

Key Quote: "Chances are he's a hot wheels trader."

(Thanks again to DavCat14)

Comments

[LaguitoMojito]

Not first?

[DavetheRed]

No, No you're supposed to tickle not shoot.

[Meanie the Blue]

Elmo says Have a great next three to five!!

[Artchick]

Totally off the subject, but how many people noticed the shout out to Dave on the Simpsons last night?

[puppytoes]

missed the Simpsons... missed the whole Elmo craze crapfest... apparently i've been running around in an alternative universe again. damn.

[crossgirl]

the only people crazed over elmo are people thinking if they buy now, they can resell and make their fortune. is there any child out there actually begging for this thing?

[insomniac]

artchick - the 'rock bottom remainders' bookstore?

the best of all holiday wishes
turn bad when grown-ups get suspicious
now Bert's got an attorney
from knee-capping Ernie
and Big Bird is asleep with the fishes!

[Edgar Greenberg]

"Your Elmo or Your life, my lord."

[Brad]

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me
Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

[Siouxie]

Leggo my Elmo!!

[Siouxie]

Artchick - saw that on the Simpson's last night.

[KOW]

Well that's upholding the principles of Sesame Street right there.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Come on, can this be for real?

"Chances are he's a hot wheels trader. That market is probably not doing well right now and he's doing the Elmo thing and I kind of moved in on his space. You know how drug dealers have corners; I think I hit his target corner up."

But then, as Dave says so often, the blog doesn't care.

[Bucket]

*scratches head*

Wait, I don't understand why the guy was going to shoot him for "giving" him the Elmo........

Oh, wait, this is a newspaper article..... what was I thinkin'??

[Edgar Greenberg]

A better link. It appears the old guy did not pull out the gun a lunatic by the name of "Hot Wheels" did.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Forgot the ";". Just insert it in the right place.

[Stevie W]

"Just insert it in the right place."

There's a phrase I hear way too often.

[Clean Hands]

Quit braggin', stevie.

[Eleanor]

I second that, CH!

Sheesh, stevie w, take it down a notch! :)

[angene15]

Jeff, it's for real. I was listening to a radio station in the Tampa area when it happened. They sent an intern over to the Target to get the "scoop" as it was happening. At least the guy was nice enough to get an Elmo for an elderly woman. Very upstanding citizen.

[Stevie W]

Hey you two. I meant it the other way. As in, can't get it right without instruction. Oh well.

[Clean Hands]

Still braggin', stevie. 'Specially for those of us who more usually hear, "Take that thing and put is somewhere else!"

[Clean Hands]

Should be "it," not "is." Dangit.

[judi]

what the heck's the right place?

[Clean Hands]

Uh, judi, I suppose we could direct you to some diagrams, or other, more graphic resources... but this is mostly a family blog, is it not?

[Stevie W]

"what the heck's the right place?"

*chuckles at judi's valiant but futile effort to shed 'lazy slut' image*

[Layzeeboy]

Layzeeboy seeks lazy slut.