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September 22, 2006


(Thanks to "a friend")


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Let me be the first(?) to congratulation the Blog.

Woo-hoo! Now banned by the pro-first-amendment crowd!

"As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful, and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government deodorant inspectors."

Woot! The blog has hit the big time, now!

To quote Peppermint Patty: "You sly dog, you."

Congratulations, Dave!

M.B., a good-natured correction: This Blog didn't just 'hit the big time.' This Blog created it.

YAY!! you get on with you're "libertarian" remarks Dave!!

Way to fight the MAN, Dave!

*nekkid blog sit-in, anybody?*

This is GREAT!

I'm so proud to be a Dave Barry blogit.

*high fives the blog*

I've read a fair amount of your writings, Dave, and I couldn't figure out your political leanings. Then, I realized you're a card-carrying humorist, and didn't bother to attach meanings that aren't there...

Has anyone told these people that Dave is a HUMOR columnist??

This could, however put a damper on Dave's Presidential aspirations (or help depending on which side of the deodorant debate you fall in):

Scented - metrosexual (nttawwt)
Non-Scented - manly

I wonder how the university's discussion would change if they saw that quote in the context of the complete column/article/whatever. Booger!

Philosophy Department Chair James South didn't think so, and he tore the post down. In an e-mail to Ditsler, he said that . . . "While I am a strong supporter of academic freedom, I'm afraid that hallways and office doors are not 'free-speech zones.'

Free speech "ZONES"? There are free speech (and, presumably, non-free-speech) ZONES? That must be the in the really small print section of the Bill of Rights.

Good grief.

I've struggled for years to come up with a patently offensive phrase with no obvious academic import or university sanction.

Best I could conjure up was, Down with the godless minorities, oh, and women, and don't get me started on midgets with inverted nipples! Marquette sucks!

Guess I should have just come to Dave.

what a self-important pinhead! and weren't 60's liberals kind of ,well, against the federal government themselves? i don't think liberalism has much to do with this...just the usual academic combination of spinelessness and being a control freak!

Welcome Marquette Tribune Blurkers! Your tour bus leaves in 3 minutes.

Be on it.

Free speech "ZONES"? There are free speech (and, presumably, non-free-speech) ZONES? That must be the in the really small print section of the Bill of Rights

silly me - I thought the whole US was a free speech zone

Dilbert - si!
Barry - nyet!

Teehee, he said 'ninny'

Wow, any article that can work the word ninny into it is ok in my book. that is a word that is never used enough.

Dave: your "libertarian quote" made the big time!

I'm so proud, I'm kvelling.

Dave Barry for President...yes, I said it...that's right

In the course of human events, the attempts of the few to suppress the freedoms of the many, freedoms not only ensured by the authors of our nation, but inherently manifest in the will of all people, invariably come to pass.
In the face of the subjugation of thought and speech by those who would restrict such liberties, the duty falls to those of us to whom compromise will not be abetted to take a stand and proclaim:

Dave is allowed to say any [censored] thing he [very censored] wants to and any [censored]sucker who [censored] tries to stifle [censored] when the blog [censored] a hold of you pencil-[censored] wanna-be intelligentsia [extremely censored] what about freedom to [censored] staple a term-paper to your professor's [censored] and furthermore I hope you contract [censored] itches like a [censored] put the sign back up, [my goodness, this is censored] and we mean now!!


"I've struggled for years to come up with a patently offensive phrase with no obvious academic import or university sanction."

I went to Kent State University in the 70's. The University wanted to build a gym at or near the site of the shootings that took place in 1970. There was a great furor about this and a large scale campaign to change the plan was mobilized by the "left". Demonstrations, petitions, slogans on buttons and signs, and worst of all, bathroom graffiti. In the bathroom stall you don't have to pretend to be civil.

Now, I could see the argument against building on the site of the shootings, blah, blah, memorial, blah, blah innocent life, blah blah Nixon is a fascist, blah, blah blah. What irked me was the smugness that this article refers to - the assumption that discussion was not necesarry or even dangerous - that if you disagreed with the hive mind you must be evil, demented or both.

What passed for debate in those days was name-calling and rock-throwing on one hand, responded to with gunfire by the other. (For you youngsters, I'm exaggerating.)(But not by much.)

So, like C-bol, I thought long and hard how to best insert my independant thought into the arena of ideas and came up with this: I used to write on the bathroom stall walls "Build the gym on top of the dead hippies."

Not exactly a libertarian statement, I realize, but I think I had the "patently offensive" part nailed.

As Rush would say, "ya just can't make this stuff up".

Too bad Rush often does.

hey, jeff carrie's friend jean! how the hell is he?

I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend until lunch your right to say it.

I was in a "leadership" class one time and the instructor said something that made me sit up and take notice.

She claimed that nobody has a right to offend another person. Oh, really? Isn't the whole point of having a first amendment to protect speech that the majority doesn't like?

Not only do I have a right to be offensive, sometimes, it's a positive duty - and sometimes it's even a pleasure.

I guess they think that "free speech" is only allowed if you agree with it.

Huh -- Who'd thunk it?

mud: i still have my MOVE THE GYM t-shirt. my upstairs housemate got arrested. i wasn't successful.

in fact, discussion (of this incredibly short-sighted, imho historically offensive decision) was what we were after. the administration fenced off the site and bulldozed it while legal protests were pending. end of discussion. the gym, needless to say, was built where the administration wanted to build it, and justice, historical reference, and the knowledge of future generations is now limited to pictures of what the site used to look like. utterly unnecessarily. but hey, we don't need to know what anything was like when the police shot a bunch of students walking to class, do we? just build the gym on top of dead slaves, jews, and american indians, too, shall we? who the hell cares about history.

sorry. really don't find it all that amusing, even 30 years later, that the government got their coverup and no one ever had to answer for shooting into a crowd of unarmed students, killing four and wounding 13 (including at least one who is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life) (and he's really cute, too!).

Philosophy Department Chair James South (pronounced "James Asshat")...

Actually, "South" is his middle name:

Philosophy Department Chair James South Endofahorsefacingnorth...

I'm sorry, I meant "South" is his maiden name:

Philosophy Department Chair James South-Endofahorsefacingnorth...

There, that works perfectly now.

When Dave wrote that, I thought it was funny. Now it just scares me.

I'm afraid all of you are missing the true outrage. The student posted the quote, not the source. So the learned academic scholar and philosophy department chair of a major university didn't recognize they were the words of Dave Barry!

Only a college professor would try to censor something that has appeared in more than 600 newspapers.

Who hired this moron, anyway?

By the way, as a small-l libertarian myself, I'm compelled to mention other guys who thought the federal government was "dangerous, powerful, and relentless." Patrick Henry, Thomas Paine and George Mason, to name a few.

Sorry, judi. Didn't mean to open any old wounds. I was trying to make myself the butt of the joke by pointing out my own insensitivity - the fact that I wrote inflamatory jargon on the bathroom walls. I wrote those things in response to similarly offensive slogans that were written there in support of the other side.

I in no way meant to suggest "we don't need to know...anything..." I was there just as you were. I also did not suggest that we "build the gym on top of dead slaves, jews, and american indians, too..."

I feel the need to point out at that I did not work for the university or the state (I worked for Singin' Sam's Pizza) and had no say in the matter one way or the other.

Again, I am sorry to have brought up a painful memory.

Having said that: You went to Kent? Cool!

These numbskulls know nothing about checking sources or context, which is something that used to be taught in institutions of higher learning, apparently not recently, though. Ole Baggins & Mike A. have hit it on the head .


i wasn't reading your comment carefully, so i ended up building a gym out of dead slaves, jews, and american indians.

so not only did i miss the sarcasm, but i didn't even follow the instructions.

however, none of them were even remotely cute.

I am reminded of the Florida vote debacle between Gore and Bush.
My Dad said something great.
"Isn't this great, we will debate the election. It will be dealt with by judges in the public. And Both Gore and Bush will live."

I do get angry when I notice stuff like this happening. Because really, our parties debate long and hard, But I hope it is over facts and realities. When facts are ignored, and realities go unnoticed. Then where will our freedoms be debated truly?

I better think of something funny.

Did the professor also strike down Flushing toilets debate.

Judi, I am so sorry that mud was, you know, a GUY!

The worst thing that happened when I was in college was the drinking age being upped to 21 and Columbia blew up. No wars, no civil unrest, gas was cheap, pot was plentiful, and guys were guys.

Please, please, please, start a new thread, so hilarity can ensue.

it's okay, mud. i can still get pretty angry but i get over it as soon as i stop thinking about it :) i'm excellent at that. and yeah. i worked at some pizza shop... if it was singin' sam's (and i'm afraid it might have been) i think the universe will have to explode tho.

meditrina, hilarity can ensue HERE. but i'll look for something else.

Right arm, Dave!

My local university has a "free speech" zone, built into their campus policies. If you want to picket, protest, hang signs, etc., you are confined to one particular space between two buildings. Signs not in accordance with this "policy" are taken down by the uniformed campus (state) police. How is this possible, when we're a public institution, funded by taxpayer dollars?

Next, will they come and take away my Dogbert doll, claiming that Dilbert's values are undermining the academic program?

Support free speech! Put up a Dave Barry quote!


PS. I think George Carlin once said: People who can remember the 60's weren't there in the 60's.

sometimes a pratfall
really hurts though meant for laughs
look sad and say "d'oh"

wow. judi and i
may go back 30 years now
i'm a little scared

drunk some night, what if
i mooned her? let this be a
lesson for you kids

you know where the domino's was? on that street that runs up the side of campus? and there was a street perpendicular that had the suicide hotline place on it? that's the street where i worked at a pizza place. was that singin' sams?

Anybody out there ever read "Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do!"? If not, might want to check it out (library or somewhere - old book, but still relivant). It's a big book, but you only have to skim (mostly repeats the same message about a 100 different ways)Re: Cleanhands' post of 09/22/06!


P.S. Dave and Judi and KJ - you are SOOOOO cool. Love people who "get it"!

PS. I think George Carlin once said: People who can remember the 60's weren't there in the 60's.
I like this one from a classic rock band I see now and then. I've used it myself:

"Okay, who remembers the sixties? Well, you know what they say...if you remember the sixties, you're IN your sixties."

Pah-dump bump.

judi - yes, that was Singin' Sams. Now, the million dollar question: What years were you there, and when did you work at that restaurant?
(Music, like on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" playing in the background)

wow, I can't stand the suspense!

Okay, I'll go first. I worked there for most of '77 through '79. During that time there were only two women that worked there that I can remember, and one of them was my sister. The name of the other one escapes me, but I can remember what she looked like. I am mentally comparing that image to the one of you with Walter...

no, i'm afraid i was there a bit earlier.... probably 75... man, that is SO weird, though. :) what are the odds?

I don't think the guy tore it down because of the content or meaning of the quote. I think he tore it down because, being a fan of low-flush toilets, he hates Dave.

Yeah. Wasn't their Sicillian pizza the bomb? (I sincerely hope I never mooned you.) I started going to KSU in the summer of '75... You never know.

it was! i was a WKSU groupie, a hockey fan, and hung out at the Horse a lot. also downtown, Ray's (mentioned earlier today) and the Loft and all the ones over on Water.

Mud and Judi....

Crossing paths in the past like that.... This is like watching "Lost".

I don't want either of you taking any Oceanic flights any time soon. ;-)

Good point, Steve.

*cue Twilight Zone music*

I loved the Blog quote and think the prof was completely bassakwards in having it removed. I loved the fact that the article said it wasn't the children of the 60's, but the grandkids that had to be worried about. Then the child of the 60's is the one that comes out as the equine butt.

Mud and Judi, I faithfully read an old-school football journalist named Vic Ketchman. He is as crusty and curt as can be. However, when someone wrote in during the past year about the anniversary, he surprised me with where he stood. He often does surprise me and maybe that's why I enjoy reading him and his thoughts on football history. As Kent-Staters, you may want to go back and search his archives in the 'Ask Vic' columns on jaguars.com. He was there.

well...there you have it.

*zips in*

I loved reading all this.

Great thread.

*zips out*

I searched the Ask Vic archives and didn't find it. I will find it and send it to you two.

CJ, i finally found it... pretty interesting, the way he reacted. i was not at kent yet when the shootings happened, but i was old enough to realize what was going on. my sister came home from college because all the colleges in ohio closed (she went to miami of ohio). what i remember vividly is the father of one of the victims saying, on the news, that they should have shot more of them, since they were out there protesting. his own child was shot, and he thought more students should have been shot!

Ahhhh. Philosophy professor -- sort of a punchline in itself, really.

(My favorite fable!) Aesop: Once, a great philosopher walked down a road, pondering the stars and the meaning of the universe.

He fell into a hole.

If an educated electorate is the foundation of a healthy democracy, the petty action of one philosopher in a free-speech-free zone spurs on healthy debate and so serves the democracy. Ironic? His personal Hell will be pondering that for eternity; he'll probably get at least one paper out of it -- ghost-written by one of his oppressed Teaching Assistants.

Yay, Judi and Mudstuffin! Sheeps, passing in the night.

Judi, I'm glad you found it. I googled, searched certain dates, bracketed then deicided I could have been wrong. You knew the date. I sent Vic Ketchman an email, to ask him to send me a link. I was there, as I am a bit older. What people should really remember, back to the thread, is this was not our federal government. This was a State National Guard operation called out by the locals. What I remember about the late 60s and early 70s was that the federal government came through. That's saying something, from a conservative. We are different now, but that was a different world.

My father and I fought constantly about my country's relationship with the Shah, or Somoza or [name your dictator]. But I knew, 30-years ago, what it meant to be a hated American. I just never knew what it meant to be an American hating himself until I realized Vic Ketchman had something to say. It's not the only opinion. I grew up in Southeast Asia and before college kids hated the Vietnam war they should have gotten to know the people I grew up around. My eldest brother got shipped back to a boarding school, and got to be a smart @ss, but I grew up in the rice paddies. All over the world we are treated as anathema as we took short cuts, supported Dahmers, and somehow won in a tough battle. Not at all me. I studied Soviet mostly and Midlle East as a hobby.

Condoleeza Rice announced a change of American policy, when she became the Secretary of State. No one has noticed this, as we are a bit divided, lately. We no longer support the bastards in the world. We, as a nation, aspire to something better. If no one is listening to her, they should. The President is listening to her and I am listening to her. She aspires to be no more than NFL Commmissioner and she knew the timing wasn't right for that. Condi Rice is a very smart, nice lady.

We have a new policy, not a new idea. It is not predicated upon weakness, it is predicated upon strength. For the first time, in my lifetime, we don't support petty tyrants. What we have to do in Afghanistan, Paskitan, Iraq, Iran, amongst people that could never withstand the withering blow of the ladies on the blog, we will still do.

More importantly, what practical jokes can we pull tonight?

well i disagree with just about all your conclusions, and do not want the blog to become a platform for current political disagreement.... but i'm with you on the jokes ;)

heyyyyy...who you callin' a lady?

"As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful, and relentless. I refer, of course, to George Bush."

Had this been the quote posted on the door in the no free speech zone, would the fascist philosophile have removed it?

I always thought one of the main reasons for going to college is to learn to really think! Amazing that this happened on a campus!

All of this reminds me of when I was an undergrad. I went to a fairly conservative, east coast, Jesuit Catholic, previously all-male university. Everyone had to minor in philosophy/theology to graduate. For some bizarre reason they hired a liberal female philosophy professor who had gotten her PhD from -- Berkely!!!

Being a right-winger myself, we had some spirited debates in medical ethics class.

She lasted one year when they told her she "wasn't tenure material." She asked me to write to the president of the university to defend her. I did, saying that she taught me to look at both sides of the argument which actually strengthened my own conservative position. She got canned anyway.

Ironically I now teach medical ethics part-time at the same university.

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