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September 19, 2006


The Blog says the blog arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr broken. It apparrrrrrrrrrently be The Blog which arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


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HAAAARRRR @ Cap'n Dave

Arrrrrrrrr not brrrrrrrrroken.

arghghghg...Da'e needin' t'be walkin' the plank

Look spry, bloglitts. Batten down the MySQL and hoist the ARRRRRCServe back-up. I feel a web storm in me bones.

For a decent English to Pirate translator, see:
Write like a Pirate


(That be pirate for 'el oh el', as it werrrrr.)

Th' LAMP stack be fully shipshape, matey. We be ready fer any storm.

PB, when I clicked on your link, I got this:

This site has temporarily exceeded its connection limit. Please try again in a few minutes.


Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole....

It be a sad day when a pirate translator service be slashdotted on TLAP day. A sad day, indeed.

We be swarmin' the decks, mateys. The entire net will soon be ours fer the takin'. Eat yer heart out, Algore the Silly.

HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR @ judi the wench fair maiden!

Arrrr.... to be waylaid by TCP/IP port overflow is a cruel fate indeed.
Marooned fer all time in Davy Jones' SPAM filter


The only thing that ever crawls out of bungholes be grog.


And I be after needin more of it.

wikipedia about DB an TLAPD

# "Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won't you, matey."

Methinks the Blog's been hittin' the grog a wee bit too airrrly in the day, out there in Seattle.

Arrgh, we crash all of the best websites with our pirate ways!

"The Blog says..."

Maybe today he should be known as the Flog?

Broken? Who be the scurvy knave responsible? Walk the plank, ARRRR!

arrkkkkkkkkkk. huh?

Seems I've used up my quota of little R's. (and only have a few big ones left) now I've keally got a pkoblem.

I be imaginin' th' conversation 'twixt innocent judi an Cap'n Dave now.

"It be running just fine, Cap'n Dave."
"It is? Well shiver me timbers."
"And the bloglits be laughing at ye."

Bring out the scurvy dogs and let them say tharrrr ahoys to Davy Jones. We be ridin' on the high net seas and won't be boarded by no navvy scalliwags of the naysayers.

Never to arrrly for the grog, says I

Somebody send Latter-Day Norman some fresh rations of "rrrr"s -- 'e be 'avin' an "r" attack, methinks.

*opens packages*

Arrrrrrrrrrr, Aye, thot's betterrrrrr! Huh?

obcde... oeiou, Oh, CROP!!!!

It be Stevie W! Good to see ye, mate.

And Mr. "fashionably late" ... love the moniker

Harrrr, cast yer weatherin' eye forth an' be notin' that this be also me fine strappin' lads day o' birth. He be all of the tender age of three, but I kin 'ardly await t'swap seadog tales wit' th' lad.

you won't need your "A's" until "National Talk like the Fonz Day"

Arrrrrr blog be fine, it's the damn boarrrrrrrrd that needs keelhauled.

whoops, forgot

Mayhaps that be wha' St. Judi the Innocent were goin' t' test for - ye seem to be sufferin' from wanderin' alphabet deficit disorder. WADD be a little-known, but tragic condition, epidemic in certain parts of Europe, particularly the Balkans.


fibbers be walking the plank on this ship, matey

Raaawwwwk! Polly wanna wench. Raaaawwwwk!

(Talk Like a Parrot Day?)

love the moniker

Why thanky, Cap'n Hore, I think,

(unless o'course ye be commentin' only on yer love for the wench in the blue berret?)

surely not!

*snorrrrrrrrrrrrrharrrrrrrrrrrrr* @ the parrrrrrrrrrrrrrot!

Ahoy, maties! This be my hit-&-run post fer today, more's the pity. It be what ye'd find over aboard me blog ship:

Avast, ye scalliwags, hast ye heard that this be International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Me hearty Dave Barry bein' no small part of why this is.

Enjoy ye some fine laughs here and here, and some rum here.

Alas, 'tis as far into the spirit o' things as I dare venture -- the scurvy Airport Job beckons me into the fog...

Have fun, maties!

Norman tFL ...Monik-'er was not what I had in mind.

Pirate Name Generator

Aye, Cap'n Hore, ye've restored me faith in ye. ye have a jazzzzy day, I must be off to pilage some more.

Ye all batten yer hatches 'til I return.


Rough-Sailin Jasmine

chaz = Gurglin' Thomas Scarr

charles = Tax-Evadin' Sam Dread

ARRRRR...methinks I be the only swabbie on this 'ere blog who has actually charged someone with piracy...

True story. As a former person of the Canadian police persuasion, several years ago I was having lunch with a judge-friend who was slated to retire later that year. Reflecting on his career, he remarked that the only charges that he had never handled in his years on the bench were piracy and treason. About a month later I arested a person for stealing a 30-ft power boat. The next morning I brought the charge sheet into his chambers...charging the thief with an act of piracy (we changed it to theft before the court appearance).


Arrrrrrr....what be this "Raaaawwwwwk!" ye speak of? Thar be no parrots what "Raaaawwwwk!" aboard MY ship! I'd be flayin' them feathers off any parrot what couldn't say a proper Arrrrrrrr!

AFKAT the Red ...ye had me snorking aloud

Mac Users...pirate icons

Mac users be not pirates, unless they be Jack Sparrow-style swishy pirates. (JUST KIDDING! SHEESH!!!)

AKFAT, arrrr, what no treason?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Ahoy, Maties!

It seems like I've missed most of the fun today. Some of us pirate wenches have to work.

I did show cleavage, though.

"AKFAT, arrrr, what no treason?"

ARRRR...Gawd I tried, but never managed that one...ARRR

Like, ahoy, Afkat the Red. I, too, have like, totally charged someone with piracy. He took the ship of my heart and sailed away with it, never, like, to return, like, EVER. I was so like, whatever, TOTALLY forlorn. He had most awesomest mizzenmast I'd ever, like, seen! I would sooo totally walk his plank anytime, but he was gone with the ya know, setting sun.
(that's an eyepatch on my sad face)

ARRRR Cleavage be good.

Raaawwwwwwk! Aye, yer scurvy ship'll be seein' the sun through a thousand feet of shark-infested waters. I'll be arrrrrin' when I'm good 'n ready, not on yer say-so. Raaaawwwwk!

Cleavage be good!
Ramparts o' Rum be good!
Wenches walkin me plank be good!

Havin ta weigh anchor and drive home because me urchins be needin me is not quite so good.

*snork* at Paris...errr..Annie the Valley..

ARRRRRRRRR! If the blog beee brrrrroken, then who be we? No pirate ghost am I. ARRRRRRRR!


"mizzenmast"--arrrgh! does Judi know this name to put in search engines for P----???

Srrrry, Annie. Peer's to be a sad loss. But ye ken the olde sayin', if you miss one ship, there'll always be another on the sea...

Mind your bird, matey!
Like, curb your parrot, mm'kay?
You'll SO walk the plank!

AYE!! Pirate Audra!!! there be no ghosts on this blogship! Only spirits 'round here be rum (good) 'n grog (not so good)!!!


I freakin almost spoke to my boss in pirate speak

LOL at Chaz

Polishing his plank
Avast that mizzenmast, sir!
You'll put an eye out!

snorks for chaz and horni-gold. Now them's my sorts of companions for a long sea voyage.

Arr, here be an old shanty 'bout a lad and a serpent. I learnt it from some bilge-rats o'er some grog at the blog.

Ye woke me from a bad dream o' loneliness an' pain
An' sunshine shooed th' clouds away an' dried up all th' rain
I couldn’t understand how ye could love a man like me
Yet love prevailed despite me “tail” ‘stead o' two us thar’s three

Aye, love be blind got a slitherin’ behind
So glad ye like me hearty
't’s so grand that ye understand (that he)
Stays wi' me in th' end

Now how 't all began be jus' a mystery t' me
I woke up from a three-tide loaded t' th' gunwhales, an' I could barely be seein'
I stumbled t' th' outhouse an' me pale weak hands did shake
T' me surprise I saw two good eyes on a second trouser snake

Aye, love be blind got a slitherin’ behind
So glad ye like me hearty
't’s so grand that ye understand (that he)
Stays wi' me in th' end

A mutual understandin' that we’ve had starboard from th' start
I will let th' lad's stay here, an' he will let me fart
An' he scoots aside when 't’s time fer me t' void
An' he helps me scratchin’ on them rusty old hemorrhoids

Aye, love be blind got a slitherin’ behind
So glad ye like me hearty
't’s so grand that ye understand (that he)
Stays wi' me in th' end

Aye Cap'n Helga, pass me some o' that rum!

afkat, you once were a mountie? that be almost as fine as a pirate!

Won't be drinkin' any o' that grogg, lest I be beige. ARRRRR!

I wanna go home now. Singing about snakes in the behind puts me in a verrrryyy strange mood.

ahoy Cap'n, 'peers you've outdone yeself this time!

Cap'n Milton, that were simply... scary.

I did th' same thing, Chazamataz... an' I caught meself writin' in pirate t' a client. 'Tis gettin' outta hand, methinks.

Arrrgh! Me thinks the "Pirate Name Generator" be done broke!

I types in me given name: "Pirate Boy" and I gets this as an answer: "Pants-Down Barney"

Avast! Do I looks purple?

I stab you,
You slash me,
We're a pirate family.

With a knife and a sword,
And a wink from you to me,
Marry one of us
and you'll sail free!

My fine younger sibling worked in a factory as a "bunghole puncher." Sounds aright nasty, but what he did was use a machine to punch the hole in metal drums for oil, gas, etc. Once he even punched part of his thumb in the line of duty.

Did not sweetn' upp to being compared to a proctologist attalllll!!!

Pirate Audra - grrlfren', best you be Pirate Audra the WINTER-white, seein' how it's like, after Labor Day, else there be a scurvy knave come to sooo totally ruin your manicure, ya know?

A hearty pirate *snorrrrrk* @ ye all.

I'll give you a long sea voyage I will....

At one time a parrot was heard
To say a disparaging word
They threatened the plank
But their ships all just sank
After he flipped 'em, The Bird

annie-lope valley
o to lower me anchor
spoon me with a gag

HA-HAARRRR @ Misty - so he gave 'is thumb t' th' bunghole puncher? Sounds like a whale of a good story t' start a pub conversation wi'.

Once twas a pirate named Goofy
Who sat all day on her poofy
She shrank as she sat
And became no taller than that
And lop-sides, with only one toofy.

Ahoy Annie the Valley-Pirrrrrate! Me manicurrrrrre be rrrrruint by climbin' the mainmast and hoistin' the mainsail.

Damnnnnn the mainsail! YARRRRR!

Methinks hoisting the main sail could ruin more than nails... What about the fair maiden's reputation? It be gettn' around the pubs that she's a loose wench.


*me jumps behind the "Poopdeck Bar" and whips out a bounty o' rrrrrrrrrrrrrum!*


Aye don't need no stinkin' generator. Me own name found me one night as I lay dreamin' saucy dreams.

A real pirate doesn't let anyone label 'em. We picks our own labels.

There once was a Cap'n name o' Barrrrrry,
His humor it seemed sometimes scarrrrrey,
To his (fl)blog he did say,
Ye'll talk like a pirate on this dayyyyy!
And they did so happily, quite well, and in a harrrrrrry.

Iron, braggin' or complainnin?

HARRRRRRRRRR! Pirate Audra! that calls for anotherrrrrrr rrrrrrrround o' rrrrrrrum!

*takes a swig of Helga's rum and passes it around*

ARRRRRRRR!! the rum be bountiful!

Arrrr ! Me computers need swabbin', and if I don't return to me job, the plank I will be walkin'. Join you later for the grog.
(Plus I have to stop LOL on the job.)

Wellll me harties. Back to the grog-master. Needs to work to buy vittles. Many good snorks today!


Frownin' Misty-Me reputation as a wench be well known. Hoistin' a mainmast be me specialtyyyy.

For those not swabbin' the decks, BRAVO be presenting a pirate-worthy fight to the death...

"My name is Indigo Montoya, you kill my father, prepare to die"

The seas of this blog be calmer than Davy Jones' koi pond. Methinks this be a grand opportunity fer a post regardin me most favorite wench, Paris "Hot Dog Down a Hallway" Hilton, er some other lively fare to spice up this most boring of Tuesdays.

ARRRRR... some of that rum be a soothe for that what ails me. Thank ye kindly, Cap'n Beerbong.

Avast! Where be th' beer bong?

Yarrrr, Wench Paris be only worthy here as sacrifice to Davy Jones' Locker

here Brian

ARRRR, th' right action, bu' fer th' wrong reasons.

She's a finer sight than Davey Jones' Marmoset

Aye, would that I were a kinkaju.

And be liftin' a tot ' rum for my (honest to god) illustrious ancestor.

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