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September 20, 2006


Today Ridley and I are on our way to Los Angeles (a.k.a. "The Big Apple"). Thanks to all who came out to the Seattle event last night, especially to those of you who dressed as pirates.

Also: I would like to get an earwig out of my head. I called home yesterday and talked to my daughter, Sophie, who's in first grade and is studying the forms of water. She learned a song about this, which she sang to me. It's set to the tune of "She'll Be Comin' 'round the Mountain":

Water travels in a cycle yes it does!
Water travels in a cycle yes it does!
It goes up as evaporation
It forms clouds as condensation
It comes down as precipitation
Yes it does!

After Sophie sang this to me, I sang it to Ridley and the woman who was driving us around Seattle, Gail, and pretty soon we were all singing it in the car. Now Ridley and I are at the Seattle airport and we are still singing it. We need to get rid of it before we reach Los Angeles and infect all of southern California. So YOU take it.


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first to NOT say ARRRR

happy strumeting!


Remember "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora?

'Nuff said.

If water does what it was made for, it makes beer!
If water does what it was made for, it makes beer!
If its mixed with malt and barley,
a little hops and cooked just barley;
If it does what it's supposed to,
It makes beer!

morning blog!!

And we'll all go out to drink some
yes we will ...


My son came home with the same song last year. (that makes it sound kinda like a disease, doesn't it?)

Now, all I can say is GOOD LUCK!

I'm off to get said son X-rayed to see if sore-wrist-from-fall-yesterday is actually broken.

Be glad you have a girl!

Try this one then:

This is the song that never ends;
It goes on and on, my friends;
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was;
And they'll continue singing it forever just because...

Repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat.

To get an earworm out of your head, think of the guitar part from CCR's "Down on the Corner." It pushes out earworms without itself getting stuck in your head.

That song infection might be just what southern California needs - sing on, me hearties.

sthnbelle, sorry 'bout your son. We raised two of our own and a nephew. We are still trying to get all the blood out of the carpet. We also had a daughter. Can't say that was any easier.

When raisin' kids gets tough, brew beer.

...and we'll all go out and drink some...

I've always found that the song that replaces an earwig easiest is the theme to Inspector Gadget.

Gnightgirl, that's the earworm equivalent of a bioweapon. A highly contagious, horribly effective bioweapon.

Clear violation of the Geneva Convention on Earwigs (a secretive codicil to the better known Geneva Convention...).

For shame.

Seattle ATC: StrumpetAir Flight 666, this is Seattle Air Traffic Control, you are cleared for takeoff on runway B.
Pilot: Roger, ATC.
Seattle ATC: Flight 666, could not read you. Please acknowledge takeoff clearance and instruction before proceeding.
Pilot (over intercom): Attention, passengers. We are cleared for takeoff at this time, however, in order to proceed I need your cooperation in remaining quiet during communications with Air Traffic Control.
Passengers on left side of aircraft, loudly: ♫ Water travels in a cycle, yes it does!
Passengers on right side of aircraft, loudly (concurrently): ♪ It goes up as evaporation...

Now you have me singing it, in my head, of course. People look at me funny when I sing out loud.

Sthnbelle, I thought we'd settled that earworms ARE diseases!

And Dave, please don't do that again -- you don't want me to have to unleash another Manilow song, do you? At least you can rest assured that Sophie will never ever forget the water cycle as long as she lives. I still have every single word of the Ten Commandments song I learned in third grade firmly implanted in my head.

Wyo, you remind me that I really need to brew some more beer. I've caught myself going out and buying it recently, which is really a pretty extreme measure, if you think about it.

Ohhh, I'm not sure first grade teachers in georgia know this handy-dandy song. Now that it's stuck in MY ear, I may have to email it to my daughter's teacher to see if the infection can spread to our school (so I won't be lonely). Of course I'll make sure you get the rightful blame, Dave.

I think that Dave has earned a dose of Manilow... in his e-mail, please, not on the blog. No need for collateral damage.

Well, at least that cured me of Dora the Explorer's version of "We Got the Beat"...

Almost - damn.

Funny. I've got "My Baby Does the Hanky Panky" running through my head thanks to the University Bookstore. Several of Dave's columns came to mind when I recognized it.

I went the hwhole day yesterday without posting the theme to spongebob squarepants....for this very reason. I didnt want to be humming it around, say, my boss, my wife...anyone that matters...

So I'm all the down to way to "48 bottles of beer on the wall..."

It's gonna be a loooooooong day.

Yesterday one of my classmates sang "Chim Chim Cher-ee," which meant that I had to go the whole day with Dick Van Dyke's awful phoney Cockney accent repeating through my brain. I like the water song better.

toot sweet!

wyo, love your version. a little early for beer right now, sadly.........

Thanks for sharing, Jemmy. Retribution will be swift and sure.

Lock & load your TPeashooters™, bloglits; we're going in.

Luckily, my brain is full. No room for earwigs today.

too early for beer? NEVER!!!

Thanks Dave, at least I've gotten "Conjunction Junction" out of my head for the time being...now it's your turn..

>wanders off humming "water travels in a cycle....."<

So now that Talk Like a Pirate day is over (me hearties), we should probably come up with some new themes, like Annoying Earworm Song Day, or Talk Like a Gumshoe Day or something. Perhaps Geezers Rapping Day?

Cheez, I don't get earwigs. Does that mean I'm stupid?

So I've decided to dig a bunker, in which I can hide from earworms. I ordered shovel of the manly variety and will begin digging shortly.

Er, Mr. Blog, the Big Apple is New York. Los Angeles is the big tomato or something like that....

I gave up earwigs for lent, but then I gave up giving up for lent. You wouldnt believe how all thost songs came rushing back. I had to take a week off to sort them all out.

*Sweeps up behind dryer. Mails lint to JoG.*

oh. lent. I get it. btw, don't eat fish this Friday. (Just sayin')

I think maybe we're forgetting just how bad it can get. Maybe we should be gratedful that we only have a song about water, a talking sponge or beer bottles stuck in out heads. Maybe we shouldn't read any further in this comment. Maybe I should apologize in advance.

Toy all your thing on me, baby.
Toy all your thing on me.
Toy all your thing on me, baby.
Toy all your thing on me.

Gatinha sai do chão, vai descendo o popozão,
gatinha sai do chão, vai descendo o popozão.

In Portugese it means “bring your ass”,
on the floor, and move it real fast.
I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty–
want to know where I go when I’m your city?

Girl, don’t you worry about all the dough,
because a cat is coming straight out of the know,
ready to rock those shows all the way to Rio.
Bring that Brazil booty on the floor.

Up, down, all around:
work that shit to the funky sound.
Going to see where I’m going, oh?

Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão
Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão
Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão

Gatinha sai do chão, vai descendo o popozão,
gatinha sai do chão, vai descendo o popozão.

Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão
Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão
Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão

Toy all your thing on me, baby.
Toy all your thing on me.
Toy all your thing on me, baby.
Toy all your thing on me.

[repeat chorus & bridge fading in eachother]

I want to see some Popozão


Hava Nagila, Hava Nagila

Always does it for me. :)

*sneaks out to blow up mud's "bridge".*

Guantanamera, huajira guantanamero.... etc.. that should clear it up. or you could focus on the barney song, but i wouldnt go there.

well Dave, you managed to infect part of southern California in the form of me...
Sorry I can't make it tonight to the strumpeting. I have to hie myself to my physiology lecture, alas, alack and rue the day.
I guess today is talk like a Shakespearean actor day, for me at least...

Mudstuffin - that was just plain rude! Luckily, I have never heard the song, so no ear worm for me! Nyanyy, Nyanny Boo Boo!

Having an urchin the same age as KinderBlog, I've got quite a large colony of earworms to choose from. Recently, it's been Selections from Charlotte's Web. Where's my can of Raid?

Betsi! Priorities! There will always be another physiology lecture to go to... I suspect that the same speaker will give the same lecture again, be it tomorrow or next year.

The Blog, on the other hand, will not likely be so close at hand again for years and years. I admire your dedication to your studies, but let's don't let them rule your life. You just slew the GRE; cut loose a little!

Point of clarification, Kathybearrrrrr; Los Angeles is the Big Traffic Jam.

Point taken, CH, I will take it under advisement.


No photos of the Seattle Strumpdate and the pirates?

Alienmare, no, it doesn't mean you're stupid. It just means the rest of us are consumed with bitter envy of you.

Betsi, listen to the voice of temptation Clean Hands! Let's get those priorities straight!

In honor of all the stories I, as a Left Coaster, have sent in, and have never seen posted as a topic:

Earwig Alert It Never Rains in California

Got on board a bankrupt Delta jet airliner
TSA decided it was training time
Oh, they talked of X-ray scanning,
Debated a safe landing.
I should have drove,
Lord, I should have drove.

Seems Dave never posts from southern California
Seems I've often read these humor blogs before
Dave never posts from California
And Judi doesn't warn ya
But Claire Martin posts...

Out of puns, fresh out of bread,
It's only noon, but I'm out of bed
I'm underwhelmed and overworked,
I need a good post!

Dave never posts from California
And Judi doesn't warn ya
And Claire Martin posts...

[Instrumental Interlude]

Will you tell nursing staff I almost posted?
Bloggers comments all were on their game.
Wyo' and Annie's were accepted,
But my postings? Rejected!
Now I'm insane, now I'm insane.

Seems Dave never posts from southern California
Seems I often read these humor blogs at lunch
They never post from California
And Judi doesn't warn ya
But Claire Martin posts, Claire Martin posts...

Bravo, PirateBoy!


Nice work, pb!

do do da do do,
manah, manah
do do do do

There, water earwig aaallll gone.

I can still list all fifty states in rapid, alphabetical succession thanks to...


Fifty nifty United States
From thirteen original colonies
Shout 'em, count 'em
Tell all about 'em
One by one, you'll be something something something,
(mumble) every state
In the USA...

Actually, that's all I remember from the first verse, but I can still list all the states.

/end geography lesson

mud, that was just wrong.

This is the only way to get the song out of your head;


Rusty, don't forget the rest:

Manah, manah
Do do da do do
Do do do
Do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do.

(And thanks a whole heck of a lot, by the way!! Now I've got to go try to pound the thing out of my ear.)

Trade ya for "Land of 1000 Dances", recently played by each and every one of ten middle school bands at the school district marching band competition.

It's better than Tim Curry's version of ""When You're a Professional Pirate" that I had stuck in my head all day yesterday. Does anyone know all the words to this?

KDF, my daughters STILL use that song for remembering states (and they are in their 20's). There was another song for the capitals -- or is it part of that song?

My education must be sadly lacking, because I never learned the fifty states song. However, thanks to russell, I'll be hearing Conjunction Junction, and every other song from the Schoolhouse Rock playlist aaaaaalllllll day long!

I always end up with either Simple Gifts ('Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free...) or the Girlscout song (Make new freinds, but keep the old...) stuck in my head. Or on some occasions the Lizzie Bordon rhyme the History Channel inflicted on me (Lizze Bordon took an axe...). Talk about a strang combo.

Strange, PIMF

Fifty Nifty United States

DimWitte, welcome to the geezer bus....

Thanks ever so much almne. I friggin' hate that song. "'Tis a gift to be a simple quiet little slave..."

Wyo - just thought you'd like to know- last night after I got home, I took a quik look at the blog (not Mr. Blog), and one of your comments from an earlier thread made me *snork* Mr. diverdowndoc awake, and he was upstairs in a completely different part of the house. Bravo.

At the copa, copacobana
Music and passion were always in fashion

just thought y'all should know that.

quik is southern for "quick"

3D, isn't invoking a Manilow earworm grounds for an immediate TP attack?

I was just stating a point of fact.

How about this-

Dirty deeds and they're (not their) done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're (not their) done dirt cheap

Somehow I have segued (sp?) from the Schoolhouse Rock playlist to this:

There's a hole in the bucket,
dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in the bucket,
dear Liza, a hole

sumbuddy just shoot me now, please?

That's a little better.

When that song was popular, I always thought that the lyric was

Dirty jeans, and the guns are cheap.

But then, I wasn't much of a music afficionado at that point in my life.

CH- how about the Stones' big hit "I'll never be your pizza burnin'"?

*unrelated but bizarre*
Spock just told me that only virgins were allowed to watch the Olympic games in ancient Greece.

A theory put forth by one of the talking heads was that "married women should not see what they couldn't have"

Hmmm. Seems to me that the virgins wouldn't be able to appreciate it as much as the women who couldn't have it.

The guys were naked, ya know.

I think I need to go take a shower now.

*end unrelated alert*

DimWitte -- gladly.

Ya'll DO know about Dr. Earworm, dontcha? Works at University of Cincinnatti. I heard about him on the Today show recently.


When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation
My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career"
Hey ho ho
You'll cruise to foreign shores
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors
True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without
And when you're a professional pirate
That's what the job's about
"Upstage, lads, this is my ONLY number!"
Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him
But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him
It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood
Hey ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten
On occasion there may be someone you have to execute
But when your a professional pirate
You don't have to wear a suit..... what?
I could have been a surgeon
I like taking things apart
I could have been a lawyer
But I just had too much heart
I could have been in politics
Cause I've always been a big spender
And me...I could have been a contender
Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet
Hey ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fotune and that's what we're proud to be
And when your a professional pirate
You'll be honest brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly
When you're a professional pirate
You're always in the best of company

AAAARRRRR!!!! Curses on ye, Dave, & on ye too there, Little Miss Sophie, for infecting me head with that shanty song!

That's 50 lashes with a wet parrot to the both of yers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have an earwig but I do have a picture of Dave and Ridley (and me) last night at the bookstore in Seattle. I could post it on my blog... If I can remember what it is or how to get into it.... BRB.

(Now I DO have an earwig! The cowboy on the Sunday morning cartoons! "After these messages, we'll be RIIIIGHT back!")

AAAAARRRRRR! It spawned another earwig, Little Avid's favorite, sung to the tune of "O My Darlin' Clementine":

Evaporation, Condensation
Precipitation on my mind
God made the water cycle
And it happens all the time.

Sorry if this one infects you too, but misery loves company, ya know.

Ok, after some password guessing and searching, I posted one of the pictures I have of Dave and Riddley in Seattle on my old blog. I will try to remember to post some more pictures later.

I was beaten to it, but this reminds me of the Fifty Nifty United States song we learned in 3rd grade as well- and I can still name all the states in alphabetical order, yay!

Red, I LOVE that movie!!!! Many fine songs.

Kid-with-possible-broken-wrist update: X-rays inconclusive, wrap, ice, tylenol and call back if it still hurts on Monday. I love doctors.

And, I had to google it, but get your pirate lyrics here

Drinky -

That's obviously a fake photo. Dave's shirt is black. Try harder next time.

(Tho the one time I saw da man in person his shirt was white. Go figure).

Stevie, don't you see it? He gave Ridley his shirt (and some powerful pharmaceuticals, as well, judging from his expression), to throw us for a loop.

I have avoided the water cycle earwig.


I've just spent an untold amount of time trying to record a tag for a commercial.

Which meant listening to the commercial over and over again.

It was The Wiggles.

Someone shoot me now.

Fruit salad...yummy yummy...fruit salad

Wags! My dog wags! He eats so much that his tummy drags!

I use Karma Chameleon. My daughter HATES Boy George. Haa Haaa!

Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon
You come and go
You come and go

Susan - I feel your pain. But I am assuming you are getting paid cash money to listen to the Wiggles without end, whereas, I am not.

You could try replacing it with this one. It's called the Water Cycle Boogie, and it's sung to "Skip to my Lou". When I worked in environmental ed. last year, I used to have to sing it ALL THE TIME to children (after we made a little beaded bracelet, thus the line about the beads):

"Sun is shining from it's birth
Dries the water, dries the earth
A yellow bead shows its worth
Water Cycle Boogie"

There are eight more verses. This, of course, is the only one I can remember, which makes it even worse when it gets stuck in my head.

sthnbelle: remember RICE - rest, ice, compression, elevation.
And I'd do advil rather than tylenol, to reduce the inflammation.

Wyo...where can I get one of those shovel thingys? Talk about testosterone poisoning!! Just looking at that will make a guy's sticker peck out.

Y'all have probably never been exposed to the first earwig (Wikipedia calls it an earworm, actually), from Alfred Bester's The Demolished Man:

"Eight, sir; seven, sir; six, sir; five, sir.
Four, sir; three, sir; two, sir; one.

Tenser, said the tensor. Tenser, said the tensor.
Tension, apprehension, and dissension have begun.
Tension, apprehension, and dissension have begun.

WFM. You're welcome.

ch 5:24pm -

"powerful pharmaceuticals to boot" -- lol.

LTTG but I'm wondering where SMOG fits into that whole cycle ...

Intersting thing I'm noticing. So many people have unleashed earworms that the earworms appear to have engaged in a battle in my head and have apparently killed each other. Unless of course it's Survivor: Earworm Island and there will, after all, be one remaining when the fighting's done.

If that's the case, the Survivor still won't last. Long ago, I discovered that I could kill even the most vicious earworm by singing "Whistling in the Dark" (this is a very silly song by They Might Be Giants). I recommend TMBG anyhow, especially to anyone insane enough to read and post on this blog; but the medicinal qualities are a nice bonus.


Brilliant, Jemmy (Jem, Jem, Jem?) At least now when it's stuck in my head I'll actually know the lyrics.

Sthnbelle - I know what you mean. So many classics!

Drinky Cow, I might remember you from that pic! *trying hard*

Re original post: This is a great way to teach kids. Reminds me of "Conjunction Junction."

Sophie will never forget it, and now, neither will we.

Ooops, forgot to change my name.


Karma Chameleon is stuck in my head quite often. I was recently putting together some card designs for my church for Christmas.

The primary colors I was using?

Red, gold and green.

Red, gold and greeeeennnn...karma karma karma karma karma chameleon...you come and go, you come and gooo-oo-oooo...

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