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September 22, 2006

SECRET

I have used Rid's pirate mustache to butch up my Secret.

Secretwmustache

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Very masculine :)

It's a good look.

And the Secret bottle/container/whatever is just the right color of blue to match your shirts!

Man, it sure looks tough now.......

Looks just like my grandma. If she were a deodorant.

Actually, it kinda reminds me of the losing Bucaneers jerseys.

Hopefully, they have Speed Sticks in Denver.

*shiver*

One of my ex-boyfriends, whose ex-girlfriend (c'mon, it's not THAT complicated) didn't shave under her arms, and so he was all weird about that. This pic would give him nightmares.

I LIKE that!

Your Secret is safe with us!

TSA Dude: "Sorry, sir. We have to confiscate that."

Dave: "Awww, geez. Can't I keep a Secret?"

Terribly close to Psychic Simul there, Beppie ....

:-)

Dave,

I believe that the use of Secret classifies you as a "girlie man". NTTAWWT...

Actually, the TSA guys wouldn't be able to recognize it as deodorant with that disguise on.

Speaking of the Bucks...
Sthnbelle and I were discussing our really crappy sports teams a couple of days ago.

Our teams may suck, but we've got the best fans in the country.

Gah! I saw "Rid" and the hairy mustache and freaked. School started, so my kids brought home schoolwork and....head lice! "Rid" is the shampoo you have to use. Never had to deal with it before, never will again. I'm shaving them bald. Icky, icky, sorry to digress. Excuse, I have to disinfect the house again....ick, ick, ick...

That mustache will either intimidate airport security into letting you keep it, or else they will give it special attention because now it may fit a certain profile. (which they don't have...a profile, I mean)

Annie, remember they like clean heads best--so don't wash your hair for a while. ;-)

That Secret now looks like it's from Sicily; and named Zia Santina.

Not that I would actually *know* a Zia Santina, mind you.

*cough*

Has anyone seen my Epilady?

Annie, I thought the same thing when I saw "Rid". He could use a better nickname.

Huh. I panicked when I saw my deodorant was growing hairs, but I guess I got all worked up for nothing.

I thought he called him "Ridster." At least sometimes I think I read that.

(Annie, I'm kidding about not washing your hair, but not kidding that lice prefer clean heads. Ironically, it's often the most well-groomed children who get them. That's what I read somewhere.)

Lisa BFF - it's true. But now I guess "Ridley" makes me skin crawl in more ways than one. ick, ick, ick...

That is just so wrong, Dave. On so many levels. *sigh* First you try to "butch up" your girly deodorant, next thing you know you're enjoying the colonoscopy.

Just GO with it, man! Let your femininity shine!

Dave, mucho macho...looks like Father Guido Sarducci's (sp) deodorant though...

I didn't know pirates used Secret under their "Arrrrrrrrrrrr....ms!"

Are you sure that's a moustache? It looks like that could be armpit hair.

Now granted, really sophisticated armpit hair, but still....

A man confident enough to spend several hours twirling his mustache into comical shapes, is a man confident enough to wear whatever deodrant he wants.

The definition of "confident" in this case, can be surmised from the context: "My, that Boy George sure is confident."

Strong enough for a man, made for a pirate!

(And I can't believe none of you got to that before I did!)

What gfunk said *snork*

Careful now!

We don't want that to get dirty, Sanchez....

when i was a kid, my sister's friend made all us kids laugh and laugh with:

Listen
doo dah doo
do you want to know a secret
doo dah doo
do you promise not to smell
whoa oh oh oh
closer
doo dah doo
let me whisper in your rear
doo dah doo
say the words you long to hear
i use secret too
ooohoohhoooh

Song enough for a man, but played for a woman.

LOL! Thanks for the earworm, judi!

Love it, judi!!

So...is this then your "Secret Stache"?

haha! sorry.

judi, LOVE the earworm!!!! I needed that tonight!

oh and this is for Annie WAY up there...

On the topic of Rid...when my girls were in elementary school I always had a supply of RID. Every single time there was lice anywhere near the school...my youngest would get 'em...EVERY time! I learned that lice do not discriminate. She was a magnet for the icky critters! UGH!

Siouxie - ick, ick, ick...
*goes back to vacuuming whole house*

sorryyyyyyyyyy Annie! been there done that ...LOTS of times not to mention all the washing of clothes, bedding, stuffed animals...I would have put my girls in the washing maching if I could!

there is an end to it...I promise!

did I mention both my girls had full heads of LONG hair???? trying to use that funky little lice comb on their hair was indeed a challenge...they didn't like the idea of being bald...go figure.

ok...subject change...
how about them Marlins!!! or Sox...or Jets... or(name your team here)!

*scratching her head...just cuz*

BRAVES!

Just thought I'd drop in for a few minutes before bed- I'm still on Columbus time ;)

Why is everyone scratching?

lice, ddd

or the thought of 'em!

LOL I needed the snorks tonight. I spent the afternoon at an ER with my Mom...so this was a welcomed change.

Is she ok?

yeah...I think so...she's got an urinary tract infection...she's pretty old though...89..so it's still something to worry about...but she's in good spirits.

thanks for asking :)

Very common- ya know- some older folks get a UTI and you'd swear they were having a stroke! You are right- it is something to be concerned about, but at least she is getting taken care of.
*end doctor-speak
Booger

:)

Well, my youngest docling has an early soccer game (yes, soccer mom- but don't tell anyone). The older docling's is at a more reasonable hour.

get some rest- try not to worry too much about mom.

And as long as we are sharing Secrets® (see how I did that?)- y'all got me through a tough week last week. Totally helped me keep what is left of my marbles.

LOL well I do appreciate it doc!

Booger back at ya! anywho...been a long day so I'm off to bed! niters and thanks.

Well I'm gonna sleep well after that last simul!

Nitey night!

nite nite :)

Watch it, Dave. Your facial moisturizer is gonna get jealous.

lol, red.

INDEED.

Why with that caterpillar you almost have stick of Mitchum.
er... or rather, a Randy Jones...

Hey, Annie, as someone in the hair industry, and mom of two long-haired girls, I can tell you a great defence against the 'tiny livestock' is hair gel and hairspray. The little bastidges HATE hair products. Once we started piling that crap on their hair every night, never saw'em (the critters, not the girls) again.

Mornin' all

Siouxie ... hope Mom feels better.

AWBH....are you itching? don't you feel it? itch itch itch (*evil laugh*(

*laments missing the last few days* some of it, anyway.

Hi Wyo! We missed you! Stay away from AnnieWBH, she's got cooties!

(Probably got em at a Yankees game)

Annie: bummer. Jackie taught 2nd and 3rd grade for many years and had to deal with many infestations, and with parents who refused to believe their little darlings had lice. A couple even tried to blame the black kids in the class, which didn't fly as lice don't like their hair for some reason.

Punkin, now don't be a sore loser.

Siouxie, hope your mom feels better real soon.

Jeff: Can you prove she didn't get them at a Yankees game??? I thought not.

(Don't worry, AWBH & I wuv eachother. From a long, long distance)

Lice.

Jeff: TMI. WAY TMI!


*feels the need for a long, hot shower now*

About the black kids and lice, I tell you, it's because they keep product in their hair, like oils and coditioners. I guess that stuff's like a big hair fart to the cooties. At any rate, once another hairdresser told me that, I started piling it on, and we never had another incident.

Maybe next time you'll be more careful when you insult the Yankees, Punkin.

Anyway, Annie clearly said her kids brought it home from school. Or do you doubt her word?

And showering won't help.


Annie, there is a trick to getting RID of head lice on children: let them smoke Lucky Strike cigarettes. A Havard study has shown headlice actually can't stand cigarette smoke and will leave very quickly if the children are moderate to heavy smokers. Think about it, at least?

That is freaky Cheryl! Almost the same thought at the same time!

Punkin' and mowing the lawn, made me take a long cold shower.

DPC, I'm jealous that long-sufferin' iggles fans get their own Bud Light song. And frustrated that our silly CBS affiliate thinks anyone cares about the Miami-Tennessee game tomorrow [sorry Judi and Sio], when the Jags are playing the Peyton Mannings. I guess I will have to watch the Bucs and the Panthers battle for who is going to go 0 and 3.

I don't know a durn thing about head lice, but it makes me think about the smartest stray dog I ever knew. We called her 'Snorkel' and she hung around the boatyard where I lived. Periodically, she would walk down the boat-launch ramp and just stand there, with only her nostrils poking above the water [thus her name]. We finally figured out she must be ridding herself of fleas. Can lice hold their breath long? I doubt it.

Hi Dave,
The deodorant will propbably start a new fad and be in the stores next to the Brut aftershave! LOL

Brut? I see Dave as more of a Hai Karate kind of guy.

I'm not sure why this interested me, but I googled it, and

"Also, it is almost impossible to drown a louse, at least during the course of a normal shower or bath. They have been known to survive four days clinging to the body hairs of animals constantly submerged or drenched with water."

Okay, that's just not right.

Jeff...Ms Jazzzz calls me a "louse" and I don't look anything like that. Well, maybe...kinda

I'm not clicking on Jeff's icky link.

Punkin, Annie got them when SportsCenter was showing LowLights from the MedPox game. :)

Love ya!

Bali: actually, that makes sense. I can see, physiologically, how they would survive. The question to me is why would they bother? I should think they would wander off in search of a new home.

Experiment [please try in pesky neighbor's pool]: submerge lousy kid with a piece of garden hose long enough to allow [difficult] breathing and still keep every last strand of hair under water. Then after a few minutes, the kid has to swim, under water, to the far end of the pool before climbing out. Do not try this with a full-length garden hose while strapping the kid to a heavy, wrought-iron piece of furniture, as I can personally attest that that doesn't work well.

Yeah, CJ, let me know how that works out for you. I'd conduct that experiment for you, but my neighbors are too damn scary. Maybe you could just hang'em upside down and immerse them to their hairline. Sounds like 5 days'd be about right.

I dunno, El....Giambi always looks a little infested to me....


oh come on, dave, you know you just like the way the mustache makes you giggle when you're rubbing the secret on.

BTW, I thought about something as I reflected back on my own wrought-iron furniture/ garden hose experiment. It seemed from what I read earlier that the lousy kids being discussed were girl children of the female type. Those [and even boy children, these days] can have goop rubbed in their hair. Then Moms and Dads can contentedly smile and not have to go to the Emergency Room, again.

Otherwise, boy children are a frightful experience. They will try to bind themselves into a chair and sit on the bottom of a pool. If the house with the pool is on the side of a hill, they will, eventually try to jump from the house, into the pool. Keep the spearguns locked up unless the family is out diving together. Have a pre-emptive discussion with the brain-damaged boy child wherein you explain that there are differences between GI-Joe with a handkerchief tied to him, going off the roof and boy child with a tablecloth trying the same thing. If you observe boy child industriously fastening flotation to his bicycle, do not give him the benefit of the doubt; stop him right then and explain that it is very unlikely he will make it into the river, or even the dock- it is more likely that he will break his neck riding down the stairs.

Just trying to help.

CJ, excellent advice. Wish I'd talked to you 10 years ago. Tho I might have figured a tablecloth isn't as fly-worthy as a He-Man beach towel. Til afterward, I mean. Still, it was only a broken ankle, which slowed that particular son down for 6 weeks. It was a nice respite, anyway.(Funny how Barbie beach towels NEVER encourage girl-children to bail off the garage roof.)

*snorks* Reminds me of Wyo's comment the other day, about trying to get the last of the blood out of the carpet. My parents once came rushing into the bathroom to find my brother and me wrestling in a pool of blood, me screaming my head off. Screaming in pain? He!! no, screaming at him to get him to stop trying to put my bleeding foot into the commode to wash it off!

Also, I still haven't quite figured out the whole link to a photo thing yet, but the attached is the house we lived in after the house that was close enough to attempt jumping into the pool. This is the house with the ride down the stairs, off the dock, and into the river adventure. I didn't make it. Note the cast. Not many pictures of me, growing up, where I don't have a cast on somethingorother.[url=http://imageduck.com/v/l25b3.jpg]http://imageduck.com/v/l25b3.jpg[/url]

I really should go out back and work on the boat, but I'm not inspired. I did get inspired to dig through old photo albums to see if I could find pictures without a cast. I found two. Wyo, I just finally sent a 'Booger' post with the two photos; One is recognizably me, but you may think the second one is funny enough to post as well.

Dave... I have a "Secret" for you. Try using FDS as aftershave. It really kills the burning.

Ahhh! You didn't need to use Ridley's pirate mustache. You could have used me to disguise your female deordorant.

Signed,

Dirty Sanchez

CJ, thanks, it was funny enough to post, but I don't wanna start somethin' if ya know what I mean.

For the rest of you, here it is. Still holding some space for the rest of you, you know who you are!

Looks like a spider is about the attack Dave's deodorant to me.

Thanks for all the lice tips (eew?). I tried all of them already, and I'm happy to say the lice have left the building. When I get a chance, I'll post on my blog another weird solution I came up with to keep my 7 year old still while I pulled on his hair. Too long to put here, and it's snot for the squeamish.

Siouxie - hope your mom is ok. Tell her the best thing for a UTI is cranberry juice (with vodka) and to lay off the rough s3x for a while. ;)

FYI - we have a huge fire going to the north of us. If anyone is curious, I posted a shot of it on my blog. The photo was taken from the front of my house.

And you guessed it, forest fires do NOT kill lice.

Mikey....It looks more like a Rorschach test....like hairy scorpians

*snorks* @ A, and let us know how the family sitcom comes along. I read that you have a boy child, in particular a seven-year-old boy child. I suspect you far too intuitive to expose yourself to the crap that most boy-child Moms do, but still say 'tsk, tsk.' When you need a break, I suggest you assign him the task of collecting a cigar box full of flies and promise to take him fishing with them, when he's done. Should be several hours of relative peace.

"The deodorant will propbably start a new fad and be in the stores next to the Brut aftershave!"

...or the Jerry Cologna, from the looks of that photo.

hey annie, cranberry juice w/vodka, makes lice removal easier too. couple shots calms the kids right down and makes the job more bearable for mom. comb, comb, pick, glug, slam. comb, comb, pick, glug, slam, hic.

cj, i didn't realize you were a floriduh blogger. shame it took someone in wyoming to bring that to my attention. a cigar box full of flies would be right up my boys alley. 45 minutes tops but he'd padd the results with love bugs and moths.

What kind of parent would name their kid "Ridley"? What's his brothers name, Waldo? I have to hand it to him though, with the number of times he and his brother must have been beaten up as a kid, he did ok.
Good for you..... "Ridley" (snicker).

At least Dave didn't name his son Barry. Do you hear that Ridley's parents?

That is NOT a pirate mustache. That is a Barber Shop Quartet mustache.

What kind of parent would name their kid "Ridley"?
======
Ahh Clem,

The same kind of author who would name his daughters Paige and Storey. It runs in the family I guess. (I was drawing a blank on his last name, and one click led to another, and there you have it).

At least they didn't name him Dick Payne Pearson.

XG, that's a very specific task for a 7-year old. It won't work with older boys or with one that is seven and one that is older [the older ones will innovate, not what you want]. A seven boy will be barely able to cover the bottom of the box after hours of effort, then amazed to find out he really catches fish. Then he will lean over and fall asleep against you. Nature's r!talin. An older boy will lean over and push the 7-year-old into the pond. I read Annie's bio and now realize she has two boys- I take it all back. There is no hope.

Hey, stevie, how ya been?

Ever hear about Texas Gov. Hogg who named his daughters Ima and Ura?

Yo Wyo (hey, that's almost a palindrome) -

I've heard of him but didn't know whether to believe it. Is it true? Bet they got a lot of dates.

stevie, I always heard it was true, but was too lazy to look it up. that's lazy.

As for the fan of a lousy team update, Thermopolis High School remains perfect this year, not scoring in 4 straight games, and giving up 166 points to opponents.

IANMTU!

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