FONT OF WISDOM?

We bet everyone's rushing to join the PTA.

(Thanks to many education mavens)

PHOTO UPDATE, thanks to Clean Hands.

Comments

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I would have studied spelling much harder if my teacher had used that font.

[Clean Hands]

"What's your favorite letter, class?"
"My daddy says that he likes Z..."

[cloturemonkey]

Picture sorely needed with that article.

[ubetcha]

Where does one get this font? I could reap a ton of havoc in my office with that. We need more information!!

[Addicted to 24]

Now everyone count to 69.

[Clean Hands]

Here's the version of the article I submitted... does include a pic of the font; not really all that work-unsafe, unless someone's looking really closely.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I'm joining the newsletter committee!

[Chaz]

I am sure we have that font...I think its called playmate....

[mudstuffin]

"Administrators said the teacher did not use the font intentionally."

*snork*

let's see, should it be...
drowned kitties, maimed squirrels, ah!
people doin' it!

i'm sorry, really
i used the "doin' it" font
i didn't mean to

thought they were praying
see, they're on their knees here, there
oh, yeah... never mind

[almne]

I can buy the accidental selection the font. However I don't understand how you could print, collate and staple something with that font, AND NOT NOTICE!!! Sorry no dice.

[Chaz]

Think Kama Sutra meets Sesame Street...

holy crap...I need to TRY some of those letters

[Cap'n Izzy Jailbait (DavetheRed)]

Now I know my ABC's....lol

[24]

alme - my thoughts exactly! And if the teacher made this at work, someone really needs to audit that school system's software!

[judi]

i love that at the bottom of your article, ch, it says "DID THIS ARTICLE SATISFY YOUR EXPECTATIONS?" they're so sweet to be concerned.

[ubetcha]

I'd like to buy an "O", Pat.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Some of those positions letters are pretty easy to figure out. Some of them (I'm thinking L and M here) are a bit more confusing.

[Clean Hands]

And hey, just because I'm into providing a full-service, uh, service, here is the font in question.

Have fun with your next memo!

[crossgirl]

anyone care to practice their a,b,c's with me?

[ubetcha]

CH - my hero!

[wench]

so, the font is called "group sex" and the teacher still used it? Accident, my a$$

[Clean Hands]

It wasn't easy, but after a dedicated search, I dug it up for y'all.

Interstingly, I came across a font named Bauer, but it didn't feature anyone getting shot in the thigh or having their heads cut off.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Crossgirl - those need 3 people (NTTAWWT).
I'm up (HAA) for O, Q and S if you are.

[wench]

DP Chris - not E?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Not O
I meant P

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I don't seen any point in holding my arms up for E.
Also, my wife and I have tried K'ing, but that didn't work out so well for us. Is that TMI?

[wench]

Only if she's on the blog. How can K not work out for you?

[Juggler of Geese]

Wow, This thread just took a downward spiral. I love it.

[KOW]

wench, I'm sorry, but your use of the term DP Chris has me HOWLING with laughter at my desk, no matter how unintentional that was. I'm sorry I'm so gutterbound. As you were.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

You see, the size of...
And the angle...
...don't line up...

Are you sure you want to know?

[OkieDokie]

I sort of feel for the teacher. She probably thought she had found some cute thing that represented little kids making letters. Now this poor woman is known as a very kinky girl, the kind you don't take home to momma....

btw, half of that "alphabet" looks painful. Just sayin'.

[spike]

Does anyone know how to draw a pregnant stick figure "S"?

[Clean Hands]

wench, you don't even want to know what I thought you were saying when you abbreviated the Dread Pirate Chris' 'nym.

I guess "M" comes the closest.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

We'd need a friend (again NTTAWWT) for D, and P worked where K didn't.

[wench]

Well, I really want to know now...I've never heard of such a thing

[Clean Hands]

High five to KOW.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

M cums comes closest to what? I still don't get that one.

[Clean Hands]

Uh, okay, I suppose that this thread is already off-limits to Mary's kids. "Double Penetration" is the ordinary meaning of that abbreviation in a conversation of this context.

[crossgirl]

oh lordy, all yall's abreviations are getting me excited

[Clean Hands]

And if y'all need me to draw a diagram, well... I don't see it in this font, but I haven't looked all that closely.

[wench]

OH!!! That is so not what I meant, Pirate Chris!!!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Depending on DP'd where, H is your best bet.

[OkieDokie]

CH, I could have gone the rest of my life and been just fine without knowing that term. I'm not even sure what it MEANS, and i'm a little freaked out.

[Beppie]

*snork* at Judi!

[Clean Hands]

*SNORK*

[Meanie the Blue]

I'm starting to go Upper Case here; need to cool off a bit.

[wench]

Pirate Chris - back to the K thing - are you too tall? She's too short? I just don't see how that can't work for you. Everything can be adjusted for the best "fit" IYKWIM

[Clean Hands]

I s'pose if you took the "I" and flipped it around, then put it next to the "K," you'd be pretty close.

[PirateBoy]

Class, today's lesson is being brought to you by the letters "F" and "U".

[Clean Hands]

No, wait, genders are mixed up... NTTAWWT, but it's not the configuration I was thinking of.

[wench]

and also the letters "S" and "M"

[Clean Hands]

F looks like it's Long John Silver. Intimidating.

And U looks like someone's got broken legs. Ouch.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

We'd need to adjust one or both of our heights and the "angle of attack" of my "cutlass".

Can anyone find a picture (or even a name) of this teacher? Would anyone want to R with this person?

[wench]

I don't understand the point of U if there is no F underneath.

And Pirate Chris, I don't know what to say. I have visions of a Captain Hook appearance floating in my nasty mind

[Clean Hands]

Chris, there are a myriad of solutions to this problem -- the simplest of which is to not attempt everything in a standing position.

These "letters" work just as well on a page on your desk, or, as the case may be, sprawled across an large, flat surface.

[billinbossier]

Did anyone click on the naked cowboy pics?
I would think it would good balance to 'K'.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

As I said, P or R work just fine. K doesn't. Either up (haa) or down.

[wench]

Sorry, Pirate Chris - wasn't personal...

What naked cowboy pics?

[Clean Hands]

A ain't naked, and I'm pretty darned sure he ain't a cowboy.

[chesbn]

At first glance, I too thought what's the problem? Cute little people letters! Then, I enlarged the picture- Hey! Those stick figures have ramparts! and...other things...and things touching things, and...

[wench]

He would look much better in a pair of jeans, no shirt...IMO

[Betsi]

oh SNORKS all around!!

[OkieDokie]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaccck!!!!!!!!!!

/runs back to rated G world, where she belongs

(and no quips about the letter G!!!!! you KNOW what I mean!!!!!!!)

[Clean Hands]

I don't think there's any such thing as a "rated G" world -- most of us got here through a decidedly X-rated process. NC-17, at least. :-P

[Stevie W]

I'd like to buy an "O", Pat.
================
lol, ubetcha. But be careful. you can get arrested for that.

[Stevie W]

My father ate my homework.

[ubetcha]

OK, so I printed the font from the article and blew, er, enlarged, er, copied it bigger so I could go back through this thread and find some new positions. This may take some time. *checking medicine cabinet for Ben Gay*

(Sorry - don't know how to do that word cross-out thingy.)

[wench]

ubetcha - we will expect a progress report

[Kathybear]

Anatomically correct little stick people. What will they come up with next? I'm sure Dave and the bloglits will let us know soon....

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I don't think any of those involve Ben Gay. Ben Dover maybe...

[Stevie W]

I have seen the same with more pulchritudinous figures. Good thing, now that all those skinny fashion models have been banned from the runway. Stick figures - feh!

[ubetcha]

What's up, er, going on with K? It's quite similar to X, except he's a little more comfortable in X, and of course, not coming out of the top of her head (no pun intended).

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

More comfortable in X??!!? I've seen people bend like that after motorcycle accidents

Wait a second...

Who's legs are where in X? Are the people actually crossing each other? It looks like it could also be arranged > <, which would not be comfortable.

[wench]

K and X are both just fine and dandy IMO

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Woo Hoo!!!
Simul in the X!!

Did that hurt me??

[wench]

Pirate C - I think in X, he's just getting a little more leverage

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

And another in the X!!

Was it good for you?

I can do extra leverage.

[wench]

Pirate - (notice how your name gets shorter and shorter) - I'm capapble of handling X so I think you're okay

[billinbossier]

I think in order to 'Z', both parties would need something to hold on to, besides each other. You know, something for support.

[Esther]

Did anyone notice - the bottom of "D" is gettin' NOTHING?

[wench]

wow - Pirate - you are quite resiliant!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Twice in X, with Wench, with leverage, and I'm OK.

Life is good.

Would you like to try Q next time?

[Stevie W]

My inkjet cartridge shoots blanks.

[wench]

Q looks like it could really hurt you if I take a wrong step - do you trust me?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Of course Wench.

You can step where ever you'd like. As we've already seen, I can take it.

[24]

Esther - I can't tell what's what in D - they look like they're also trying to figure it all out.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Z appears to have three (ahem) heads.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

And now with 24!!

Could my day get any better??!!??

[wench]

Pirate - you must have cannon balls for danglies

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

And another with Wench!!

Apparently I do have quite the cannon.

Is it as good for all of you as it is for me?

[wench]

Pirate - are you still breathing? You've been working awfully hard today

[Clean Hands]

DPC, I'm pretty sure that Z is another one of those that requires a close friend to complete the trio. Or, should I say, the trois.

[Beppie]

I'm starting to feel defiled by this thread! I shall avert my eyes whilst I read...

[Eleanor]

In the movie, The Birdcage, Robin Williams and Nathan Lane had soup bowls with that design.
Yes. They. Did.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Dear gawd!!! That's the....

OK. I've lost count. Doesn't that mean it's time to stop?

[wench]

I'm really worried about you now, Pirate! Your cannon's going to get rusty

[wench]

it would appear we can't

[Stevie W]

I font you, I ink you, I smudge you
With all my cartridge.

Elvis has left the building.

[Clean Hands]

DPC, you're getting an awful lot of Zs, there...

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

All right ladies. Eleanor, this time.

Can someone do mouth-to-{edited} for me? I might need some resussitation.

Then again Wench (re Q), usually, when you "step on it" it goes faster. TMI?

[Clean Hands]

Which letter, El? ALL OF THEM??? Good heavens.

But wouldn't they have skipped the bazoomaged figures?