FINALLY

...a judge willing to tackle the real legal issues.

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

Comments

[Neil G]

Clearly, we're not talking Punkin's level of bazoomage, in which case the geezer would have been seriously undercharged.

[Stevie W]

The guy got taken. For 32 grand he could gotten all of Heather Mills (pre-McCartney, of course) for a whole month at least.

[wench]

I love how below the article it has a clip on Clinton raising billions to help others. I think I know how he raised all the dough. Road trip with his boys!

[Cheryl]

Speak for yourself, your honor ...

[Stevie W]

Raised it? i think that's how he's gonna spend it.

[mudstuffin]

Man, at those prices I can't even afford one :~(

I can't even afford to LOOK at one.

[mudstuffin]

Let's see... $32,000 divided by ten visits and two puppies equals $1,600 a piece.

I think I'll stick with staring at the lady on the right side of the blog page.

[Chaz]

he was bamBOOBzelled

[Clean Hands]

I was thinking, back on another thread, "Where's the bazoombage today?"

And just like that.

[Clean Hands]

I will say, though, that this is really shoddy journalism.

No pictures???

[billinbossier]

Are we sure he has dementia, or does he just have a whole lot of money he doesn't want to leave to his kids, and fondle ramparts instead?

[Betsi]

based on "general life experience"? come on, he definitely needed to get more specific than that!

[Clean Hands]

I agree, Betsi! Is he basing this judgement on the average cost of a much more comprehensive service package from a Helsinki hooker? (Helsinki Hookers WBAGNFARG, of course.) Or is he using the typical expenses of a trophy wife as his basis of comparison?

As I said, sloppy, even slovenly journalism.

[angene15]

Betsi-I'm sure the judge had his hands full (!) and couldn't take the time to be more specific.

[Christobol]

I'm not sure of the court's decision. Doesn't seem to respect US Supreme Court precedence, which found that J. Howard Marshall II should pay millions a piece for fondling Anna Nicole Smith's bazoombage. Let's face it, he was too old to have managed much else, and we can't be sure he even got ten sessions!

[Betsi]

*snork at CH and angene15*

My suspicions are that he's a virgin but doesn't want anyone to know.

"Yes, I have LOTS of, uh...general life experience in this department." Was he blushing too?

[insomniac]

inflated prices for inflated bosoms?

[Suzy Q]

I'd have let him fondle me for only $30,000!

[Annie Where-but-here]

I don't think this guy got his ten sessions. He had dementia.
"Hey, you were a stud last night. That'll be $3,637.50)
"Really? Wow, ok."

[Stevie W]

"My suspicions are that he's a virgin but doesn't want anyone to know."

Oh c'mon, betsi, with a name like Hasse Hakki how could he be anything but a chick magnet?

[Stevie W]

"Hey, you were a stud last night. That'll be $3,637.50."

Hey I'd, er I mean, some guys would pay a few bucks just to hear those words.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

So, charging money for fondling in Helsinki is legal as long as you charge a fair price??? I didn't know that.

[Scott]

Honestly, I don't think it's even possible to overpay for the privilege of fondling bosoms. It's one of life's most wonderful pleasures...

[Beppie]

That is clearly going to cut down my income considerably. Damn law.

[peterpan]

Now, this should've been decided in the court of public opinion, in my opinion...

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

*snork* @ Beppie

[Ross]

C'mon - Anna Nicole Smith probably earned about $30k per second while she was married to that old millionaire guy.

[Stevie W]

They charged the dude thirty-two grand
To hold some soft flesh in his hand
But they covered his eyes
And what a surprise
Substituted warm spam from a can.

[CJrun]

several different *snorks* in there. Heard on the radio today [and no, I'm not gonna look it up] that someone on cr@igsl!st is offering to come to your house and straighten out your PC for fondling privileges. The Price is Right!

[xgrrrl the tragically cute]

hmmmmmmmm, a new career opportunity yet unexplored!

[Eleanor]

:(

I came back here to see if anyone took me up on my reasonably priced offer to fondle my boobs - and - my post isn't here.
*sobs*

Wha happened?

[Annie Where-but-here]

El - they moved the bidding to ebay....you're already up to $2.57...each!
TCK wanted to know if you took Czechs. I told him yes, but they had to wash their hands first.

[stevie w]

I was feeling
Mammaries
I asked Judge Hassie Hakki to cut her fees
I said, Hakki Hakki, Your Honor, Sir
Can you cut back
My debt to her?

And he said a yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Listen sleaze
All I, I really need
(boob rubbin')
A gimme that good boob rubbin'
(boob rubbin')
All I need is rubbin'
(boob rubbin')
Good boob rubbin' baby.

--apologies to the Rascals ("Good Lovin'")

[Siouxie]

stevie! wow...LOVE that one too! You are bringing back some pretty cool mammaries memories!

[Stevie W]

Ty, sxi - the best songs make for the best parodies, imho. That way you'll at least sing it a coupla times.

The Rascals were one of my very fave groups for a while. Saw them live, but only once (or was it twice - who can remember?)

[Siouxie]

wow...I LOVE that era of music, stevie...I was young but I still remember how wonderful the music was...I was a young hippie in a way LOL

[Siouxie]

and you just made me think of my all time favorite 60's song

Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

HAIR.....

I even have the musical dvd :)

[Stevie W]

That IS a great tune; Cowsills good but Broadway soundtrack better. DVD? What's that? I have it on vinyl.

[Philintexas]

'Twas a weighty decision the solon faced,
he scratched his head and then he paced.
Then quietly spoke in stentorous tone
Too much, too much, for one old bone.

Though diamond-hard the nipples stand,
she's asked too much from this old man,
The slopes are beautiful, I must agree,
the finest rack seen by the likes of me.

Despite an admiration for yon fair mounts,
upon them I place a sizeable discount.

[Stevie W]

Nice, Phil.

GOOD (though hard to read) joke:

An old man on the beach said to a beautiful girl in a bikini, "I want to feel your breasts!" "Get away from me, you crazy old man!" she replied. "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he said. "Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!" "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you $100!" he stated. "NO! Get away from me!"..."$200," he offered. She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!" "$500 if you let me feel your breasts," he claimed. She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough...and $500 IS a lot of money... "Well, OK...but only for a minute." She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel Then he started saying, "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing them. Out of curiosity, she asked him, "Why do you keep saying, 'Oh my God, oh my God'?" While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get $500?"

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

*snork* at Annie!

*zips over to e-bay to see if the bid's higher* :)