COOL NEWS

Be on the lookout for.... well, there's no way to tell, really. But watch out.

(Thanks to Jeff Luhrs)

Comments

[baligurl]

Good morning!

[lakedog]

I'll bet that the nude burglar uses secret deoderant.

[Brad]

The town of "Cool" needs to vote to change it's name to "That's Hot".

[baligurl]

I just keep picturing Matthew McConahey...maybe I just wanna think about him naked. Sorry, I guess that was a moment just for me.

[stevie w]

"... taken down by one of the deputies using a control hold."

I do NOT want to know.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

baligurl-It does sound like Matthew. (except, he forgot his bongo drum)

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Just re-read the article--and there was a bongo! That cinches it, it was him.

[Ted Simple]

Man this makes me miss my college days...

[Betsy]

The suspect was booked for breaking and entering, flower-pot-dirt-repurposing, aggravated meat-thawing, teddy-bear-abduction, and Unprovoked Installation of a Foreign God.

[jt]

Wasn't this one of the things Jason Lee had to make up for on "My Name Is Earl?"

[WriterDude]

"Bathroom Meat" WBAGNFARB? No, not really.

Missed you folks this week, been too busy. Been meaning to tell you that I had a close encounter of the celebrity kind last week with a celebrity who was not Dave, for anyone who's (not whose) interested.

[Jazzzz]

What an idiot! Everybody knows you need 4 teddy bears for that ritual.....geeeeesh.

[danceswithvowels]

Perhaps the homeowner arrived before the ritual and costuming were complete. "Terence Michael Dean" anagrams to "the red menace in lace." And there's this personals-style item: "Erect male. Need chain."

[Beppie]

In a completely unrelated story, five kilos of crack cocain were found in the vicinity of the naked robbery. No one has claimed ownership and the fuzz is completely baffled.

[Sallyacious]

Um. What do you suppose he was trying to do?
Contact space aliens?
Draw his love object to him using some meta-voodo spell?
Get his own tv show?
I mean. Wow. That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

[slyeyes]

Odd placement of that photograph about of a fireman hosing down a brushfire.

[Meditrina]

Another example of Nigerian voodoo doctors gone awry.

[Philintexas]

would be weird behavior anywhere but California... There's it's probably considered mildly off center....just sayin'

[Ford79]

At the bottom of the page it says, "Did you enjoy this story?"

More than I can say.

[baligurl]

Sorry, I was out buying a Bhudda and some bongos. (Do you think Matthew reads this blog?)

[Jacki]

And to think we missed this as a headline of the day.

[Beppie]

Sallyacious, I was wondering the same thing, but then I thought, hmmm, maybe I just don't want to know the answers to those questions!

[bookworm]

If this is what he did to a complete stranger's house, I do have to wonder what sort of bongo/Buddha altars and potting soil trails and water sculptures his own home has. And do you think he brought the sheet with him or used one he found on site?

[Mo! Faux!]

Writer dude, pretty cool that you met Mencia... I like his show!As for that nude robber,....I will only say, there was a time when a robber would at least wear something stylish "just in case"

[Suzy Q]

This guy left behind "bathroom meat," and they didn't do a drug screen at the hospital? WTF?

[Sallyacious]

Beppie,

I have another question re: this whole story as well. Do you think the damage to floors and carpets is covered by the guy's homeowners insurance? And if so, how will they word the claim?

[shellann]

About the meat that was "lying mysteriously" in the bathroom - how do they know it wasn't telling the truth?

[tarzina]

i think this guy has a brother,
---------------------------
Man who entered home later found naked Thu Sep 21, 5:09 PM ET
TEXARKANA, Ark. - Police went to a home after receiving a report that he had entered it illegally and later found their suspect running nude through a pasture.
Tim Smith, 19, of Texarkana was charged with residential burglary, third-degree assault, fleeing, disorderly conduct and refusal to submit to arrest. No bond was set and he was being held for a mental evaluation.
Police spokesman Officer Chris Rankin said Smith entered a home Wednesday through an unlocked door and was confronted by a woman in the home, Linda Smith, who is not related to Tim Smith.
"He knocked on my bedroom door, and when I opened it he told me he was sent here to have sex with me," Ms. Smith said. "I told him I didn't think so and that he needed to leave."
At the time, Smith was wearing blue jeans, a gray T-shirt, tennis shoes and a cap.
As the woman and her daughter started calling police, the man stripped naked in the living room and fled after stealing a pair of shoes.
When officers arrived, they found Smith running naked through a nearby pasture.
"He started to chase some of the horses and grab at their tails," Ms. Smith.

___

Information from: Texarkana Gazette, http://www.texarkanagazette.com

[morgana]

*Snork* at Betsy and Jazzzz, and Sly, I thought the same thing about the fireman ;)

[stevie w]

"...numerous packages of meat lying mysteriously in the sink and bathtub."

It's the hamburglar. Of course.

[Siouxie]

LOL stevie

[Cheryl Howard]

Also found in the kitchen was a large water-filled bowl containing only the key to Langstaff's Volkswagen Jetta parked out front. It was later discovered that the suspect had ransacked it as well, and caused damage to the vehicle's glove box.

Okay, I'm curious. Or maybe baffled...no curious...

[morgana]

Not to state the obvious but it was safe in the water because it was invisible and no alien gamma rays could detect it.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Bongo drums…$50.00
Potting soil…$10.00
Popping corn…$2.00
Coming home from a weekend camping trip to find bathroom meat, a pagan shrine and a naked man asking “who are you”?...Priceless.

(It's almost hard to find anything funny to say about that article because everything funny is already in there.)

baligurl - I'm thinking he does.

[Stevie W]

"A clothesless man was arrested in Cool Monday morning..."

He came in through the bathroom window
Said he came to read the blog
But all the meat was in the toilet
Man, that dood really dropped a log

Didn't anybody smell him?
Couldn't they hear him pee?
Sunday read about Cool Monday
Tuesday afternoon calls to me
Oh yeah...

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

tarzina-I guess if a guy is going to run naked through a pasture, he's gonna need some shoes. *shrug* ;-)

[morgana]

LBFF you always make me laugh... you should have won that Mastercard contest they ran a few months ago... well, they might not think it as funny as I did. :)

Discover card would though.

[mudstuffin]

"When deputies entered the residence, they noted the bathroom meat..."

I'm willing to wager that this is the first time those words ever appeared in that order in print in the english language.

[billinbossier]

"He was released after posting $25,000 bail."

I can't believe they let this guy out...and no drug test??? Your tax dollars at work!

[Siouxie]

Another great earwig, stevie...thanks :)

[Clean Hands]

That is the most extravagantly insane I've ever heard of someone going who was not a lawyer at the time. Of course, the story left out what this person's occupation was, so I suppose we cannot yet rule this out.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Thanks morgana. I missed that contest. Maybe next year. :-)

[SarahBeth]

I think the only reason they didn't take him away in a strait jacket was because then he couldn't hold up his towel.

[fadi ayat]

lmao..i know this guy..he really is whack

[contaminated soil]

Hi,
I like his show!As for that nude robber,....I will only say, there was a time when a robber would at least wear something stylish "just in case"..