COOL NEWS
Be on the lookout for.... well, there's no way to tell, really. But watch out.
(Thanks to Jeff Luhrs)
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Be on the lookout for.... well, there's no way to tell, really. But watch out.
(Thanks to Jeff Luhrs)
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Good morning!
Posted by: baligurl | September 24, 2006 at 12:27 PM
I'll bet that the nude burglar uses secret deoderant.
Posted by: lakedog | September 24, 2006 at 12:28 PM
The town of "Cool" needs to vote to change it's name to "That's Hot".
Posted by: Brad | September 24, 2006 at 12:30 PM
I just keep picturing Matthew McConahey...maybe I just wanna think about him naked. Sorry, I guess that was a moment just for me.
Posted by: baligurl | September 24, 2006 at 12:30 PM
"... taken down by one of the deputies using a control hold."
I do NOT want to know.
Posted by: stevie w | September 24, 2006 at 12:43 PM
baligurl-It does sound like Matthew. (except, he forgot his bongo drum)
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | September 24, 2006 at 01:32 PM
Just re-read the article--and there was a bongo! That cinches it, it was him.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | September 24, 2006 at 01:34 PM
Man this makes me miss my college days...
Posted by: Ted Simple | September 24, 2006 at 01:58 PM
The suspect was booked for breaking and entering, flower-pot-dirt-repurposing, aggravated meat-thawing, teddy-bear-abduction, and Unprovoked Installation of a Foreign God.
Posted by: Betsy | September 24, 2006 at 02:06 PM
Wasn't this one of the things Jason Lee had to make up for on "My Name Is Earl?"
Posted by: jt | September 24, 2006 at 02:09 PM
"Bathroom Meat" WBAGNFARB? No, not really.
Missed you folks this week, been too busy. Been meaning to tell you that I had a close encounter of the celebrity kind last week with a celebrity who was not Dave, for anyone who's (not whose) interested.
Posted by: WriterDude | September 24, 2006 at 02:14 PM
What an idiot! Everybody knows you need 4 teddy bears for that ritual.....geeeeesh.
Posted by: Jazzzz | September 24, 2006 at 02:44 PM
Perhaps the homeowner arrived before the ritual and costuming were complete. "Terence Michael Dean" anagrams to "the red menace in lace." And there's this personals-style item: "Erect male. Need chain."
Posted by: danceswithvowels | September 24, 2006 at 02:48 PM
In a completely unrelated story, five kilos of crack cocain were found in the vicinity of the naked robbery. No one has claimed ownership and the fuzz is completely baffled.
Posted by: Beppie | September 24, 2006 at 03:27 PM
Um. What do you suppose he was trying to do?
Contact space aliens?
Draw his love object to him using some meta-voodo spell?
Get his own tv show?
I mean. Wow. That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.
Posted by: Sallyacious | September 24, 2006 at 03:29 PM
Odd placement of that photograph about of a fireman hosing down a brushfire.
Posted by: slyeyes | September 24, 2006 at 03:45 PM
Another example of Nigerian voodoo doctors gone awry.
Posted by: Meditrina | September 24, 2006 at 03:51 PM
would be weird behavior anywhere but California... There's it's probably considered mildly off center....just sayin'
Posted by: Philintexas | September 24, 2006 at 04:09 PM
At the bottom of the page it says, "Did you enjoy this story?"
More than I can say.
Posted by: Ford79 | September 24, 2006 at 04:09 PM
Sorry, I was out buying a Bhudda and some bongos. (Do you think Matthew reads this blog?)
Posted by: baligurl | September 24, 2006 at 05:15 PM
And to think we missed this as a headline of the day.
Posted by: Jacki | September 24, 2006 at 05:53 PM
Sallyacious, I was wondering the same thing, but then I thought, hmmm, maybe I just don't want to know the answers to those questions!
Posted by: Beppie | September 24, 2006 at 06:27 PM
If this is what he did to a complete stranger's house, I do have to wonder what sort of bongo/Buddha altars and potting soil trails and water sculptures his own home has. And do you think he brought the sheet with him or used one he found on site?
Posted by: bookworm | September 24, 2006 at 06:40 PM
Writer dude, pretty cool that you met Mencia... I like his show!As for that nude robber,....I will only say, there was a time when a robber would at least wear something stylish "just in case"
Posted by: Mo! Faux! | September 24, 2006 at 06:50 PM
This guy left behind "bathroom meat," and they didn't do a drug screen at the hospital? WTF?
Posted by: Suzy Q | September 24, 2006 at 07:17 PM
Beppie,
I have another question re: this whole story as well. Do you think the damage to floors and carpets is covered by the guy's homeowners insurance? And if so, how will they word the claim?
Posted by: Sallyacious | September 24, 2006 at 07:45 PM
About the meat that was "lying mysteriously" in the bathroom - how do they know it wasn't telling the truth?
Posted by: shellann | September 24, 2006 at 08:09 PM
i think this guy has a brother,
---------------------------
Man who entered home later found naked Thu Sep 21, 5:09 PM ET
TEXARKANA, Ark. - Police went to a home after receiving a report that he had entered it illegally and later found their suspect running nude through a pasture.
Tim Smith, 19, of Texarkana was charged with residential burglary, third-degree assault, fleeing, disorderly conduct and refusal to submit to arrest. No bond was set and he was being held for a mental evaluation.
Police spokesman Officer Chris Rankin said Smith entered a home Wednesday through an unlocked door and was confronted by a woman in the home, Linda Smith, who is not related to Tim Smith.
"He knocked on my bedroom door, and when I opened it he told me he was sent here to have sex with me," Ms. Smith said. "I told him I didn't think so and that he needed to leave."
At the time, Smith was wearing blue jeans, a gray T-shirt, tennis shoes and a cap.
As the woman and her daughter started calling police, the man stripped naked in the living room and fled after stealing a pair of shoes.
When officers arrived, they found Smith running naked through a nearby pasture.
"He started to chase some of the horses and grab at their tails," Ms. Smith.
___
Information from: Texarkana Gazette, http://www.texarkanagazette.com
Posted by: tarzina | September 24, 2006 at 09:29 PM
*Snork* at Betsy and Jazzzz, and Sly, I thought the same thing about the fireman ;)
Posted by: morgana | September 24, 2006 at 09:56 PM
"...numerous packages of meat lying mysteriously in the sink and bathtub."
It's the hamburglar. Of course.
Posted by: stevie w | September 24, 2006 at 10:12 PM
LOL stevie
Posted by: Siouxie | September 24, 2006 at 10:28 PM
Also found in the kitchen was a large water-filled bowl containing only the key to Langstaff's Volkswagen Jetta parked out front. It was later discovered that the suspect had ransacked it as well, and caused damage to the vehicle's glove box.
Okay, I'm curious. Or maybe baffled...no curious...
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | September 24, 2006 at 10:29 PM
Not to state the obvious but it was safe in the water because it was invisible and no alien gamma rays could detect it.
Posted by: morgana | September 24, 2006 at 10:45 PM
Bongo drums…$50.00
Potting soil…$10.00
Popping corn…$2.00
Coming home from a weekend camping trip to find bathroom meat, a pagan shrine and a naked man asking “who are you”?...Priceless.
(It's almost hard to find anything funny to say about that article because everything funny is already in there.)
baligurl - I'm thinking he does.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | September 24, 2006 at 10:47 PM
"A clothesless man was arrested in Cool Monday morning..."
He came in through the bathroom window
Said he came to read the blog
But all the meat was in the toilet
Man, that dood really dropped a log
Didn't anybody smell him?
Couldn't they hear him pee?
Sunday read about Cool Monday
Tuesday afternoon calls to me
Oh yeah...
Posted by: Stevie W | September 24, 2006 at 10:49 PM
tarzina-I guess if a guy is going to run naked through a pasture, he's gonna need some shoes. *shrug* ;-)
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | September 24, 2006 at 10:50 PM
LBFF you always make me laugh... you should have won that Mastercard contest they ran a few months ago... well, they might not think it as funny as I did. :)
Discover card would though.
Posted by: morgana | September 24, 2006 at 11:52 PM
"When deputies entered the residence, they noted the bathroom meat..."
I'm willing to wager that this is the first time those words ever appeared in that order in print in the english language.
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 25, 2006 at 07:51 AM
"He was released after posting $25,000 bail."
I can't believe they let this guy out...and no drug test??? Your tax dollars at work!
Posted by: billinbossier | September 25, 2006 at 09:02 AM
Another great earwig, stevie...thanks :)
Posted by: Siouxie | September 25, 2006 at 09:46 AM
That is the most extravagantly insane I've ever heard of someone going who was not a lawyer at the time. Of course, the story left out what this person's occupation was, so I suppose we cannot yet rule this out.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 25, 2006 at 10:17 AM
Thanks morgana. I missed that contest. Maybe next year. :-)
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | September 25, 2006 at 11:22 AM
I think the only reason they didn't take him away in a strait jacket was because then he couldn't hold up his towel.
Posted by: SarahBeth | September 25, 2006 at 02:11 PM
lmao..i know this guy..he really is whack
Posted by: fadi ayat | October 31, 2006 at 12:38 AM
Hi,
I like his show!As for that nude robber,....I will only say, there was a time when a robber would at least wear something stylish "just in case"..
Posted by: contaminated soil | January 05, 2009 at 01:28 AM